Scene Fifteen

(Now, we take a dramatic change in scenes. We see Jenolum in a river, trying to catch a fish. It slips from her grasp, and she dashes after it, anxious to get the fish. But the fish slips from her grasp, and she sits inside the river. Suddenly, Jenolum shrieks in pain as something bites her finger. She draws her hand from the water to reveal a piranha clinging to her finger)

Jenolum: (Angrily shouting) Whose piranha is this? I know that it's not here naturally! Piranhas don't live in these types of waters!

(We see an anxious Camera Man come onto the scene, up to a waiting Jenolum)

Camera Man: (Quickly taking the piranha from the creature and whispering) Sorry.so sorry.

(The Camera Man shuffles away from the scene, and Jenolum shakes her head angrily. Finally, she realizes that she's got a fish to catch, and she frantically seeks it out. Then, we see two familiar figures following the river: Kram Gamgee & Lizzo Baggins. Kram Gamgee is rather irritable at traveling about with a strange creature as their guide. Lizzo Baggins is barely coherent with everything around her, gazing at many things)

Kram Gamgee: (Shouting towards Jenolum) Hey, Stinky! Don't be getting too far ahead!

Lizzo Baggins: (In a very defensive tone) Why do you do that?

Kram Gamgee: (Looks at Lizzo Baggins in a bemused way) Well-I shouted because she was way up the river and I was-

Lizzo Baggins: (Quickly shaking her head and firmly speaking) No! I mean, why do you keep calling her names; running her down like that?

Kram Gamgee: (Raising an eyebrow quizzically) Because-she smells bad-she likes to run ahead of us-and I'm frankly getting sick of it!

Lizzo Baggins: (Angrily) Well, knock it off, Kram! That "stinky" is our guide to Mordor! We lose her we lose the fight! So please, stop calling her names! She's got feelings, too, you know! She's not going to appreciate you making her feel bad.

Kram Gamgee: (Gives a derisive snort) Miss Lizzo, I hardly think she's worried about getting her feelings hurt! Trust me, Lizzo; there's naught much in her but lies and deceit. It's the Movie she wants-(Giving Lizzo Baggins a warning glance) it's all she cares about.

Lizzo Baggins: (Irritably) You've no idea what it did to her-what it's still doing to her! (Walks past her friend, looking back at her with a small sneer) Why can't you just have a little faith in her, Kram?

Kram Gamgee: (Incredulously) Me, have faith in her? I'm sorry, Miss Lizzo, but I don't trust her! That's usually my attitude towards somebody who attacks me in my sleep, and tries to bite my shoulder off! And what about you? If I remember correctly, you pulled your sword upon her as well!

Lizzo Baggins: (Grumpily) Just have to refer back to past, don't you?

Kram Gamgee: (Angrily) Why do you even care, Miss Lizzo? Why do you care what happens to her?

Lizzo Baggins: (Looking up the river and giving a small smile) I want to help her, Kram.

Kram Gamgee: (Eyes open in horror) What? What would make you want to help that? (Points to Jenolum up the river)

Lizzo Baggins: (In a sympathetic voice) She was normal once-a human, like you and me, Kram. Everything was fine in her life-and the Movie destroyed it. The Movie destroys everything.(Quietly, slowly grasping her chest) and yet.

(Kram Gamgee looks towards Lizzo Baggins suspiciously, not trusting the situation. Finally, Lizzo Baggins takes her hand off her chest and looks back towards Jenolum, who is smiling at the hobbits)

Lizzo Baggins: (With a small smile) I need to believe that I can bring her back to the way she was, Kram.

Kram Gamgee: (With a small "tuh" of disbelief) I don't think that anything could bring her back to who she was, Miss Lizzo-or most likely, what she was.

Lizzo Baggins: (Suddenly snapping at Kram Gamgee bitterly) What do you know about it? Nothing! You're just a stupid, bumbling hobbit who can't even boil water without burning anything!

(At these sudden words, Kram Gamgee draws back in surprise. Then, she glares at Lizzo Baggins and turns away from her. This suddenly seems to bring Lizzo Baggins back to her normal self. She shakes her head in disbelief)

Lizzo Baggins: (Speaking in a very small, confused voice) I'm sorry, Kram. I-(Looks at Kram Gamgee) Are you crying, Kram?

Kram Gamgee: (Her back still turned to Lizzo Baggins, but speaking in a very high-pitched voice) No. Lizzo Baggins: (Shaking her head again) Kram, I honestly don't know what came over me.

Kram Gamgee: (Turning back to Lizzo Baggins angrily) I do, Miss Lizzo! I know exactly what's making you act like that! It's the Movie! Don't think I haven't seen you, Miss Lizzo! You don't eat-you barely sleep-and you're beginning to listen to Barry Manilow music!

Lizzo Baggins: (In a rather defensive tone) Well, maybe I'm not hungry, maybe I'm not sleepy, and maybe I like a sweet, soothing, love ballad every now and then!

Kram Gamgee: (Angrily) I'm your best friend, Lizzo! I know that whenever you listen to Barry Manilow, you've got a lot on your mind-you're trying to distract yourself from your own troubles. You're not yourself anymore, Miss Lizzo. It's the Movie-(Looking very desperate at her friend, feeling very concerned) it's taken a hold of you, Lizzo. You've got to fight it!

Lizzo Baggins: (Hostile) I know what I have to do, Kram! The Movie was entrusted to me! You remember the Council of Noelrond! He said that I was supposed to go to Mount Doom and throw the Movie of Power into the fires! He said that I was supposed to destroy the Movie! Kram, the task was bestowed upon me! It's mine! My own!

(Lizzo Baggins walks away, clearly having enough of this. Kram Gamgee watches her go with an open mouth)

Kram Gamgee: (Disbelief in every word) Can't you hear yourself? Do you even know who you sound like? (Shouting so her friend can hear) I'll give you a clue: she smells like fish, talks to herself in third person, and looks kind of like Gandhi!

(Lizzo Baggins chooses to ignore this and keeps walking. Then, we see Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee sleeping upon the ground. Lizzo Baggins is softly singing, "Mandy" in her sleep-in her hand, she clutches the Movie of Power. Then, we hear the evil hissing of Jenolum, and we see her on a boulder, watching the two hobbits sleep with malice in her pale eyes)

Jenolum: (In a very bitter, angry tone) The thievessss! They stoles it from us! They takes it from us! Nasty hobbits! They are lying-tricksy- false! (Suddenly shakes her head, and resumes a much nicer tone) No-no, they are not that way. They are nice to us. (Goes back to evil tone immediately) They tricks you! They are liars, they are! They will trick you-lie to you! (In the nicer, kind tone, fondling with her hair) But, master is our friend! (In the evil tone) What friends? You don't have any friends! (In the nicer, defensive tone) I have friends! I have lots of friends! (In the evil tone) Name one! (In the nice tone, pondering for a moment before speaking) Bob! Bob was our friend! (In the mean tone) That was just a dirty sock you found in the tunnels of the Misty Mountains! That doesn't count! (In the nicer tone) Well, when you say it like that, you make it sound stupid. (Resuming the mean tone) What do you know about friends? You don't have any friends! Nobody likes you! (In the nice tone) That's not true! You're just bitter! (In the mean tone) You're a rotten piece of scum! (In the nice tone, she puts her fingers in her ears, and begins to sing) La! La! La! La! La! Not listening! La! La! La! (In the mean tone) You're a liar-and a thief! (In the nice tone, shaking her head in a humorous way) Nope. (In the mean tone, looking very evil at the moment) Murderer!

(Jenolum suddenly begins to cry-her other self had struck a hard spot; a dark place of her past she cannot seem to rid herself of. To seek a way out of it, she becomes hostile towards her meaner self)

Jenolum: (In a pathetic tone through her tears) Go away. (In her evil, menacing voice, looking quite enthused) "Go away"? (Laughs evilly, before going back to her weeping self, putting a hand to her head) I hate you! You're a bastard! (In the evil tone) Where would you be without me? (Coughs grotesquely) We got away because of me-we survived because of me! I looked after us! Me!

(Jenolum's eyes suddenly widen as she realizes something. Her pale eyes are quite bright with hope as she speaks)

Jenolum: (In her better half, speaking distantly) Not anymore. (Resuming her evil side, looking very menacing) What did you say? (Her better half speaking rather logically) Not anymore! Master looks after us now-master takes care of us.that means.(In her evil tone) I know you're not going to say what I think you're saying! (In her better half).we don't need you anymore! Go away! (In the evil tone) You cannot make me leave! (In a commanding tone) Leave, and never come back! (The evil side hisses threateningly, but the better side is commanding) Leave, and never come back! (The evil side sounding very angry) I'm not going anywhere, missy! (The better side shouting angrily into the night) YOU GET OUTTA HERE YOU PIECE OF CRAP, OR I'M GONNA PUT MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR BUTT, THE WATER ON MY KNEE WILL QUENCH YOUR THIRST!

Kram Gamgee: (Groggily) Shut up, over there! Go have a personal war with yourself somewhere else! Gees!

(Jenolum ignores Kram Gamgee. Jenolum looks about, as if searching for something. Then, she realizes something: her other half is gone. Her eyes fill with joy, and she sounds very enthused as she realizes it)

Jenolum: (In a small voice at first, then building up) She's gone. She's- gone. She's gone! She's gone! (Jumps off the boulder and begins to dance a jig) Jenéagol is free!

(Now it is daytime, in some other part of the forested area the three are traveling. Kram Gamgee is looking in the distance, probably judging the path they are taking. Lizzo Baggins is snoozing nearby against a boulder. Then, we see Jenolum run up to Lizzo Baggins, carrying two dead rabbits in her mouth like a dog. Gleefully, Jenolum spits them out on the sleeping hobbit's lap. At this, Lizzo Baggins stirs and eventually wakes up)

Jenolum: (Sounding quite ecstatic and pleased) Look, master! Looks what we found!

(Her brow furrowed, Lizzo Baggins looks down at her lap, and gives a great start at what she sees)

Lizzo Baggins: (Disgusted) OH MY G-

(Lizzo Baggins stops as she sees Jenolum's face fall slightly)

Lizzo Baggins: (Catching herself and speaking in a friendlier tone) Uh-Oh! N-Nice rabbits there, Jenéagol; nice-dead rabbits! (Gulps in revulsion as she stares at the lifeless bunnies)

Jenolum: (Sounding very excited and pleased) We's caught them just a few moment ago, master! (Picks a rabbit up and clutches it in her hands) They are young!

(Jenolum bends the rabbit so that its spine breaks, and Lizzo Baggins looks very sickened by this. Kram Gamgee looks over, sees what's going on, and rolls her eyes)

Jenolum: (Going on as if she's said nothing) They are tender-they are nice! Go ahead, master! Eats them! Eats them! (Talks as she takes a bite and tugs on the skin of her rabbit) Some say that it be best to takes the skins off, but we thinks it adds an extra tang!

(Lizzo Baggins looks liable to be sick, and finally Kram Gamgee steps in. She marches over to Jenolum angrily)

Kram Gamgee: (Frustrated, taking the rabbit from Jenolum) You're gonna make her sick, you are!

(We hear Lizzo Baggins speak in a very nauseated voice)

Lizzo Baggins: Too-late! (We hear her retch violently)

(Choosing to ignore this, Kram Gamgee grabs the rabbits, takes a look at them, and speaks to an irritable Jenolum)

Kram Gamgee: (Matter-of-fact tone) There's only one way to make a nice brace of conies!

(We see Kram Gamgee & Lizzo Baggins tending to a wonderful looking stew; but Jenolum is shrieking uncontrollably, dancing about as if she's going to catch on fire)

Jenolum: (Very forlorn) What's it doing? What's it doing? (Angrily to Kram Gamgee) You stupid, fat hobbit!

Kram Gamgee: (Looking very threatening and brandishing her spoon before her as a weapon) Hey! It's glandular; and it's more on me than you have, you freakin' toothpick!

Jenolum: (Ignoring this and howling in misery) You's ruining it!

Kram Gamgee: (Agitated) What's there to ruin? There's barely any meat on them! "Tender and nice"? HA! More like "old and anorexic!"

(Lizzo Baggins gets up to get some dishes from a pack nearby, then suddenly hears something; curious, she looks in the distance. Kram Gamgee & Jenolum continue with their conversation, not having noticed the other's departure)

Kram Gamgee: (In a logical tone) What we need are a few good taters.

Jenolum: (Obviously confused) "Taters"? What's "taters", precious? What's "taters", hmm?

Kram Gamgee: (Angrily) Po-ta-toes! Ground spuds! Essence of Idaho! You boil 'em, mash 'em, and stick 'em in the stew! Talk about a nice pair of (Throws some seasoning in the stew) golden chips, right next to a batch of fried fish.

Jenolum: (Giving a great shout of disgust) Yick!

Kram Gamgee: (Annoyed) Now even you couldn't say, "No" to that!

Jenolum: (With strong dignity) Oh, yes we could! (Goes up to Kram Gamgee's ear and speaks with much longing) Give it to us, raw and wriggling-with its heart still beating! (Draws away from Kram Gamgee with a laugh) You can keep your nasty chips!

Kram Gamgee: (With a small snort of disgust) You sushi freaks get weirder and weirder every time I talk to you! (Shakes her head as she spoons some stew to taste) You're hopeless. (Takes a taste of stew, and gives a great shout of disgust) Uck! What's in that? (Looks at Jenolum angrily) Did you put that basil in, like I told you to?

Jenolum: (Indignantly) Yes we did!

Kram Gamgee: (Angrily, spitting out some of the stew) Well-it tastes like grass!

Jenolum: (Angrily) Where does it think basil comes from-a bottle?

Kram Gamgee: (Annoyed) Yes! A bottle in my pack marked, "Basil"!

Jenolum: (With a derisive snort) It relies on a bottle? Who needs a bottle of that? It's all around us! (Picks up some nearby grass) See? Basil!

Kram Gamgee: (Angrily) You idiot! You put grass in my stew! Now my stew tastes like a bunch of grass-clippings!

Jenolum: (Defensively) You act as though that's a bad thing!

Kram Gamgee: (Gives another exclamation of disgust) Well-it's not too bad, I suppose. I guess we could just cover it up with salt. Hey, Lizzo, as long as you're over there, can you toss me the salt?

(When there is no answer, Kram Gamgee looks behind her, and her eyes widen in shock. Lizzo Baggins is gone. Worried, Kram Gamgee stands up, looking about in concern)

Kram Gamgee: (Loudly) Miss Lizzo?

(We now see Lizzo Baggins crawling through some low-hanging bushes, looking out to some clearing before her. We hear the sounds of booted feet and clanging armor. Then, we see Kram Gamgee & Jenolum follow Lizzo Baggins. Kram Gamgee looks rather angry, while Lizzo Baggins looks at the clearing with an open mouth)

Kram Gamgee: (Angrily) Damn it, Miss Lizzo! Every time I turn around, you go off and do something stupid! One day I'm going to turn around, and you're going to be dead, and then I'm gonna-(Looks towards the clearing, stops complaining, and lets her mouth open in amazement) Oh.

(We see the clearing they are looking at, and see what is so important about it. Many Men-looking very evil, clad in dark purples and with sashes over their faces, bearing many weapons-marching through the forest. There must be a good five hundred of them, wave after wave of them, marching on as if with no real clue as to where they are going. Then, we go back to the three travelers, obviously surprised by this recent development)

Lizzo Baggins: (In a small whisper of fright) What are they?

Jenolum: (Answering in a quiet hiss of fear) Wicked Men!

Kram Gamgee: (Curiously) You mean government agents?

Jenolum: (Angrily) No! (Back to the quiet tone) They are evil Men, being gathered to Mordor, to answer the Eye's command. The Eye is making ready to build his army!

Lizzo Baggins: (Quickly) Army? What army?

Jenolum: (Frightened) To make his war! The war that will cover the world all in shadow.

Lizzo Baggins: (Very serious at this point) We're running out of time! Come on, Kram, let's get out of here!

Kram Gamgee: (Seeing something and stopping Lizzo Baggins) Look, Miss Lizzo!

(We see a great creature appear into the clearing, stepping with great strides that end in an ominous boom: they are oliphants, bearing many Wicked Men towards Mordor. As horrible as it looks, the hobbits look at the creatures with severe amazement)

Kram Gamgee: (Breathlessly) It's an oliphant! (Shaking her head in amazement) People at home are never gonna believe this! (In a dark tone) The bunch of jerks that they are!

(Lizzo Baggins merely nods, looking very amazed by the scene. Jenolum doesn't look too happy, though. Without a word, she leaves the side of Lizzo Baggins-quivering as she goes. Pretty soon, she's nowhere to be seen. Sensing something awry, Lizzo Baggins looks to her side-her eyes widen as she realizes the Jenolum is gone)

Lizzo Baggins: (In a concerned whisper) Jenéagol? (Shrugs and continues to look at the clearing)

(Then, something very odd happens. Many arrows fly through the clearing- none of them belonging to the Wicked Men. Wicked Men fall with shouts of pain before their last breath is spent. It is no question to the hobbits: the Wicked Men are under a full-fledged attack. They try to reach for their weapons, but it is in vain. We see members of the Army of Maramir hiding within the trees and shooting accurately down at the Wicked Men; from the trees we see a figure: Maramir, himself, shooting arrows at the army. Maramir looks almost exactly like Mikomir-but he doesn't wear glasses. Then, we see Maramir glance towards where the hobbits are, fully seeing them watching the battle. His face darkens as he sees the two intruders. Then, we see an oliphant begin to charge towards the hobbits' concealment. Kram Gamgee & Lizzo Baggins tense up in fear, but an arrow takes out the rider of the humongous creature, and he falls to the ground right behind Kram Gamgee)

Kram Gamgee: (Shouting out in horror) Oh my GOD! Dear Lord! How many dead people am I gonna see on this trip?

Lizzo Baggins: (Seriously) We've lingered here too long, Kram.

Kram Gamgee: (Sarcastically) You think?

Lizzo Baggins: (Getting to her feet) Come on, Kram!

(Lizzo Baggins makes a dash for the forest behind her, but Kram Gamgee doesn't follow immediately. Revolted by the dead body behind her, Kram Gamgee can't seem to find a way over it. Lizzo Baggins looks back towards Kram Gamgee and gives a sigh of dismay)

Lizzo Baggins: (Urgently) Come on, Kram!

Kram Gamgee: (In a frightened voice) Well, I'm sorry! I don't want to step on a dead body, Miss Lizzo!

Lizzo Baggins: (Gesturing for her friend to get a move on it) Well-just jump over it, Kram!

Kram Gamgee: (Glaring at Lizzo Baggins) Miss Lizzo, look at me-do I look like I'm going to make a clean jump over this thing?

Lizzo Baggins: (Angrily) Kram, just push it aside with your foot or something! We've got to get out of here! Now come on!

(Lizzo Baggins turns around and makes to dash away-but she runs right into Soldier of Maramir#1. She looks into the other's face in pure fear. The soldier makes to grab her, but Lizzo Baggins lets out a shout of fright, causing Kram Gamgee to look her way)

Kram Gamgee: (Angrily, pulling out her sword) Hey! Get your hands off my friend, ya bugger!

(But Lizzo Baggins has it under control; with one swift movement, Lizzo Baggins knees Soldier of Maramir#1 right in the crotch. Soldier of Maramir#1 crumples to the ground, holding his groined in agony)

Soldier of Maramir#1: (In a small voice of agony) Ouch! You hit me right in the jewels! Right in the jewels! (He pulls out a bag of jewels from a nearby pocket of his pants) That really hurt my crotch, you nasty bugger!

(At that moment, Soldiers of Maramir #2, 3, & 4 surround Lizzo Baggins. Despite her fear of dead bodies, Kram Gamgee makes a clean jump over the dead body behind her and makes to help her friend)

Kram Gamgee: (Valiantly) Don't worry, Miss Lizzo! I'll save you!

(But before she can even get five feet to Lizzo Baggins, Soldier of Maramir#5 grasps Kram Gamgee by the back of her shirt and pulls her into a tight grip, causing the hobbit to drop her sword and shout out in fear)

Kram Gamgee: (In a frightened, desperate voice) Run, Miss Lizzo! Save yourself!

(Lizzo Baggins makes to break her way free from the soldiers around her, but they are able to contain her in no time-they take her sword from her and Soldiers of Maramir#2&4 each grasp an arm of Lizzo Baggins. The fighting suddenly subsides and everything goes quiet as a figure approaches the scene: Maramir. Lizzo Baggins looks at the figure as if looking into a blast from the past, and Kram Gamgee is just trying to remain still so that she won't get her throat cut. Maramir stares at the two hobbits in curiosity)

Lizzo Baggins: (In a small, friendly voice) Uh-hey! How's it goin'?

(Maramir glares at the two intruders-and Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee stare back at him. Finally, Kram Gamgee decides to break the silence)

Kram Gamgee: (In a desperate tone) Hey! Don't hurt us! We're just some innocent travelers!

Maramir: (Rather flatly) There are no travelers within the Forests of Ilithid; only intruders, and trouble-makers.

Soldier of Maramir#4: (In an equally evil tone) And taggers-tons of taggers!

Lizzo Baggins: (In a bold voice) If you cannot trust us, what makes you believe we can trust you? How can we be so sure that you are not allies of the Dark Lord-slaves sent from the fortresses of Mordor?

Kram Gamgee: (In an uncomfortable tone) I think what my friend's trying to say is-!

Maramir: (In a simple voice) That I am not to be trusted. What gives me the authority to speak of intruders when I may be one myself? Well, these days are accustomed to treachery and brain washing-what makes anybody really an enemy anymore? You do not think of a dead enemy before, but during these days you cannot help but ponder some. (Goes over, flips over the dead body, and stares into its face) You wonder who he was.where he came from.and if he really knew what he was doing? (In a bitter tone) This battle will make corpses of us all!

Soldier of Maramir#3: (In a logical tone) Except those that move away from the fray-then they'll be cowards.

Maramir: (In a simple tone to his men) Bind their hands.

Lizzo Baggins: (Her face falling a bit at this) Well, nice to meet you too!

(We see Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee look at one another desperately before the scene changes)