**To people who have read the first chapter - sorry. I truly am. Getting
Link and Lock mixed up was just stupid, I had only seen Reloaded once,
several months before, at the time but still I am an idiot (sighs,
contemplates suicide, then decides maybe that is just taking it too far)
Okay I am over my stupidity now. Well I wrote that Freeway Frolics parody a
while back after having some insomnia and now guess what? Yes I can't
sleep! It's bloody 3am as I start this and I have to get up at 8am and dear
God I am going to have to sleep in my lectures today. Anyway yes also some
brave intrepid souls are still reviewing, (merci beaucoup to all who have)
and after getting two reviews in one night both saying "continue!" - Kit19
and Eris - I have decided oh why the hell not, just how awful can it be?
Well you are now going to find out...**
Project Koala... the madness continues some more. Yup still by alocin.
The newly re-named Link, as most people generally know him by, had wandered off into another part of the Neb whilst the discussion about Neo's fear of Koalas raged on. He was aimlessly wondering just why they didn't bring along any board games or cards to help pass the time when he heard the scratching noise. Almost like an animal of some sort, scratching and scraping at metal in a bid to escape from where it was trapped. After all the talk of killer marsupials he wasn't taking any chances and ran to get the rest of the crew. Yes all three of them.
Listening carefully they identified the source of the noise - it was coming from one of the larger storage cupboards on the main deck. They formed a battle line with Neo pushed to the front, against his will, and the rest further behind him. He cautiously advanced towards to cupboard, jagged piece of metal pipe gripped in his nervous hands. If there was a Koala in there then he was as prepared as he ever would be. Mustering his courage his jabbed at the catch to the cupboard and out tumbled a grey, raggedy blur. Neo screamed like a girl but valiantly poked at it with his piece of jagged metal pipe. The form protested.
"Owww! Stop that!" it unjumbled itself and stood up. "Neo!!! It's you! At last!"
Trinity turned away and leaned her head against the wall. "No not him, why him...?"
The Kid, for yes it is the dear Kid who we all know and love, launched himself at Neo and grabbed his left ankle, firmly attached. Neo tried backing away a few steps but only succeeded in dragging his admirer across the floor.
"Trinity - help! Get him off me!" Trinity just sighed and stalked off towards the mess room. Morpheus and Link aided Neo in detaching the limpet- like Kid, who seemed disgruntled at being removed from his idol.
"But I came all this way shut in that cupboard! Won't you let me be near Neo!!! now? I love you Neo!!! I am your biggest fan, will you sign my head- plug??" Neo was deeply disturbed by this display and glad when the others dragged the Kid away. But it could be worse, he thought, it could have actually been a Koala...
Meanwhile back at the ranch... I mean back at the overground headquarters again, Agent Smith was still busy scheming away at Project Koala. The first test had been a success, with Koala One now happily chewing away at the unfortunate Bob's left ear while sitting in a corner of Agent Smith's office. In fact Jasmine was by far the best the best koala trained so far and was now designated the lead koala.
That was the only not no satisfactory part of Project Koala. Kola One, as Smith called him, had been borrowed by a fellow Agent and when he returned he had been wearing a collar with a name-tag reading "Jasmine" and would now only respond to that... hideous name. Just how was he, the evil Agent Smith, supposed to order his best koala to attack Mr Anderson by commanding something along the lines of "Go Jasmine, crush him!"? The One would be more likely to die from a fit of hysterical giggling.
Anyway that was the only flaw in his otherwise perfect plan. He had it all arranged, Mr Anderson would be lured into his trap and then at the moment of triumph he would spin around in his chair, stroking Koal... Jasmine... and then say "Ahh, we meet again Mr Anderson!". If time allowed he would then give a small insanely evil laugh, then direct the Koalas to tear the resistance's "Messiah" into itty-bitty pieces. He smiled to himself. He liked being the evil arch-nemesis sometimes. Plotting the death of the "hero" was very fulfilling work.
Part One of the bid to cure Neo's Koala-phobia required a volunteer. Morpheus, Trinity and Link all volunteered the Kid to be the volunteer. He seemed eager enough to accept, despite not knowing what it involved.
"Sure, I'm just so glad you guys are willing to let me help! I'll do anything if it helps Neo!!!" Even after being rolled up in several grey blankets he remained keen. "This is just so great, actually being on the Neb and working with you guys." It was only as the head of the costume, a made mask constructed from goop and rags, was fitted on that he began to express doubts. "And, er... what is it I do again?"
"You just have to stand there, that's all." Morpheus said soothingly, then decided to go for the low blow of reverse psychology. "Unless you don't think you can manage that?"
"No!! I'm fine, I'll do it great. Honest, just give me a shot!" Trinity snickered to herself, but managed to hide it by coughing. Stupid Kid, she felt kind of sorry for him... but luckily the feeling soon passed.
"Now just stand here. We will leave, then Neo will come in and we will see how he copes. Good luck!" Morpheus added the last bit in a cheery voice. The others quickly exited, leaving the Kid standing alone in the corridor, nervously shuffling about. The head made it hard to see what was going on. It was helping Neo, he was doing his bit, he told himself.
Neo was psyching himself up. Deep breaths, deep cleansing breaths... Or was that for giving birth? He was the One. He could do this. Now or never. Steeling himself he opened the door and entered the corridor. Hearing the noise the Kid turned around.
The creature that confronted him was an image from his nightmares - a hideous half man half Koala beast. It had huge staring eyes and gapping jaws that dripped saliva, sharp grasping claws and a roar like an enraged tiger. In actual fact it was the Kid wrapped in a few blankets with a crudely made mask taped to his head, but in the shadows to the almost hyperventilating Neo he was a fearsome spectacle.
Neo took one look at the creature and nearly fainted, but he was impressed that he in fact remain conscious. Grasping his jagged metal pole tight he advanced on the beast with a battle cry of the like not heard since the last Zion girls under 12's hockey match. He began beating it back, trying to immobilise it before it could attack him. The Kid, wrapped in his several blankets, was not being injured but it was painful enough.
"Oww! Neo!!! It's only me! Oww! Argh! Neo!!!" After ten or fifteen minutes, long enough for the others to have a cup of what passes for tea on the Neb anyway, they decided to go and end the session. After grabbing the metal pole from Neo, Trinity lead him away to have a quiet lie down.
"Awww he's all tuckered out." She commented, rolling her eyes. "Come on."
"You did very well Neo." Morpheus granted as Neo left. "This is all training you to direct anger, rather than fear towards Koalas. Next time we will give it half an hour." This comment produced a groan from the pile of blankets on the floor. "And you are doing very well too. Keep up the good work and I might make you one of my crew."
"Thank you sir. I do it all for Neo!!!" The pile of blankets managed shakily, before collapsing back down to the deck.
**OK well that does not seem too, too bad but it is now 4am so who am I to judge!? Anyway if I ever summon the enthusiasm to write more then Neo might actually get to face a real koala! Yes wow! And there will be more of dear Smithy and Jasmine. And probably more Kid-bashing while I'm at it. Blame the koala's other keeper for Jasmine, I called my koala Boris to start with. Much better name for a vicious marsupial!**
Project Koala... the madness continues some more. Yup still by alocin.
The newly re-named Link, as most people generally know him by, had wandered off into another part of the Neb whilst the discussion about Neo's fear of Koalas raged on. He was aimlessly wondering just why they didn't bring along any board games or cards to help pass the time when he heard the scratching noise. Almost like an animal of some sort, scratching and scraping at metal in a bid to escape from where it was trapped. After all the talk of killer marsupials he wasn't taking any chances and ran to get the rest of the crew. Yes all three of them.
Listening carefully they identified the source of the noise - it was coming from one of the larger storage cupboards on the main deck. They formed a battle line with Neo pushed to the front, against his will, and the rest further behind him. He cautiously advanced towards to cupboard, jagged piece of metal pipe gripped in his nervous hands. If there was a Koala in there then he was as prepared as he ever would be. Mustering his courage his jabbed at the catch to the cupboard and out tumbled a grey, raggedy blur. Neo screamed like a girl but valiantly poked at it with his piece of jagged metal pipe. The form protested.
"Owww! Stop that!" it unjumbled itself and stood up. "Neo!!! It's you! At last!"
Trinity turned away and leaned her head against the wall. "No not him, why him...?"
The Kid, for yes it is the dear Kid who we all know and love, launched himself at Neo and grabbed his left ankle, firmly attached. Neo tried backing away a few steps but only succeeded in dragging his admirer across the floor.
"Trinity - help! Get him off me!" Trinity just sighed and stalked off towards the mess room. Morpheus and Link aided Neo in detaching the limpet- like Kid, who seemed disgruntled at being removed from his idol.
"But I came all this way shut in that cupboard! Won't you let me be near Neo!!! now? I love you Neo!!! I am your biggest fan, will you sign my head- plug??" Neo was deeply disturbed by this display and glad when the others dragged the Kid away. But it could be worse, he thought, it could have actually been a Koala...
Meanwhile back at the ranch... I mean back at the overground headquarters again, Agent Smith was still busy scheming away at Project Koala. The first test had been a success, with Koala One now happily chewing away at the unfortunate Bob's left ear while sitting in a corner of Agent Smith's office. In fact Jasmine was by far the best the best koala trained so far and was now designated the lead koala.
That was the only not no satisfactory part of Project Koala. Kola One, as Smith called him, had been borrowed by a fellow Agent and when he returned he had been wearing a collar with a name-tag reading "Jasmine" and would now only respond to that... hideous name. Just how was he, the evil Agent Smith, supposed to order his best koala to attack Mr Anderson by commanding something along the lines of "Go Jasmine, crush him!"? The One would be more likely to die from a fit of hysterical giggling.
Anyway that was the only flaw in his otherwise perfect plan. He had it all arranged, Mr Anderson would be lured into his trap and then at the moment of triumph he would spin around in his chair, stroking Koal... Jasmine... and then say "Ahh, we meet again Mr Anderson!". If time allowed he would then give a small insanely evil laugh, then direct the Koalas to tear the resistance's "Messiah" into itty-bitty pieces. He smiled to himself. He liked being the evil arch-nemesis sometimes. Plotting the death of the "hero" was very fulfilling work.
Part One of the bid to cure Neo's Koala-phobia required a volunteer. Morpheus, Trinity and Link all volunteered the Kid to be the volunteer. He seemed eager enough to accept, despite not knowing what it involved.
"Sure, I'm just so glad you guys are willing to let me help! I'll do anything if it helps Neo!!!" Even after being rolled up in several grey blankets he remained keen. "This is just so great, actually being on the Neb and working with you guys." It was only as the head of the costume, a made mask constructed from goop and rags, was fitted on that he began to express doubts. "And, er... what is it I do again?"
"You just have to stand there, that's all." Morpheus said soothingly, then decided to go for the low blow of reverse psychology. "Unless you don't think you can manage that?"
"No!! I'm fine, I'll do it great. Honest, just give me a shot!" Trinity snickered to herself, but managed to hide it by coughing. Stupid Kid, she felt kind of sorry for him... but luckily the feeling soon passed.
"Now just stand here. We will leave, then Neo will come in and we will see how he copes. Good luck!" Morpheus added the last bit in a cheery voice. The others quickly exited, leaving the Kid standing alone in the corridor, nervously shuffling about. The head made it hard to see what was going on. It was helping Neo, he was doing his bit, he told himself.
Neo was psyching himself up. Deep breaths, deep cleansing breaths... Or was that for giving birth? He was the One. He could do this. Now or never. Steeling himself he opened the door and entered the corridor. Hearing the noise the Kid turned around.
The creature that confronted him was an image from his nightmares - a hideous half man half Koala beast. It had huge staring eyes and gapping jaws that dripped saliva, sharp grasping claws and a roar like an enraged tiger. In actual fact it was the Kid wrapped in a few blankets with a crudely made mask taped to his head, but in the shadows to the almost hyperventilating Neo he was a fearsome spectacle.
Neo took one look at the creature and nearly fainted, but he was impressed that he in fact remain conscious. Grasping his jagged metal pole tight he advanced on the beast with a battle cry of the like not heard since the last Zion girls under 12's hockey match. He began beating it back, trying to immobilise it before it could attack him. The Kid, wrapped in his several blankets, was not being injured but it was painful enough.
"Oww! Neo!!! It's only me! Oww! Argh! Neo!!!" After ten or fifteen minutes, long enough for the others to have a cup of what passes for tea on the Neb anyway, they decided to go and end the session. After grabbing the metal pole from Neo, Trinity lead him away to have a quiet lie down.
"Awww he's all tuckered out." She commented, rolling her eyes. "Come on."
"You did very well Neo." Morpheus granted as Neo left. "This is all training you to direct anger, rather than fear towards Koalas. Next time we will give it half an hour." This comment produced a groan from the pile of blankets on the floor. "And you are doing very well too. Keep up the good work and I might make you one of my crew."
"Thank you sir. I do it all for Neo!!!" The pile of blankets managed shakily, before collapsing back down to the deck.
**OK well that does not seem too, too bad but it is now 4am so who am I to judge!? Anyway if I ever summon the enthusiasm to write more then Neo might actually get to face a real koala! Yes wow! And there will be more of dear Smithy and Jasmine. And probably more Kid-bashing while I'm at it. Blame the koala's other keeper for Jasmine, I called my koala Boris to start with. Much better name for a vicious marsupial!**
