Author's Note: my sixth chappie!! yippee!! i took me a while to write this one i got a case of writer's bloke but my friend Katie helped. The end part and the beginning of the next chappie was her idea sho... hehe anyway enjoy!!

Chapter 6: Sevie gets a boob job Or Transfig. Lessons Gone Bad

"Where have you been?" Lorina asked as Alanna came running into McGonagall's office, where all the other Gryffindors and Slytherins were.

Alanna grinned mischievously "places," she answered simply.

"You missed dinner," Lorina said.

"Yea I know." Alanna said. The door opened and McGonagall walked in, everyone shut up.

"Now you all will be cleaning the Great Hall," McGonagall said, everyone groaned. Alanna gave a very exaggerated groan and grinned when McGonagall gave her 'the look' "You will not use magic." she continued. "Do not try. I have put up magic detecting sensors and the person that does shall get a week more detention. Now GO!"

**********

"Do you think she was telling the truth?" Alanna asked. Her and Lorina were moping around the Ravenclaw table.

"'bout what?" Lorina asked.

"The spell sensor," Alanna sighed.

"Only one way to find out," Lorina grinned evilly.

"You or me?" Alanna asked with an identical grin.

"Me." Lorina said and mumbled something. A second later the whole Great Hall was sparkling clean and everyone was looking around confused.

The next second McGonagall burst through the doors looking pissed.

"WHO USED MAGIC!?" she shouted. Lorina quickly pointed to a random person, who just happened to be Draco. "Mr. Malfoy," McGonagall said. She walked over to him, grabbed his shirt collar, and dragged him across the floor kicking and screaming from the Great Hall. "you can all go!" she said over her shoulder.

"I WILL GET YOU!!" Draco screamed pointing at Lorina.

"I want you all here tomorrow!" McGonagall said, making sure to hit Draco's head against the door on the way out.

"The spell worked!" Alanna laughed after McGonagall was gone. Lorina nodded.

*********

Sevie aka Snape was getting dressed in his chamber.(of forbidden pleasures*snickers*) When he caught a gleams of himself in the mirror. Something was wrong, very wrong indeed.

"HAYES!!" Sevie shouted and birds flew out of the forest like in most movies when people scream really loud. Little did he know that the person he wanted to strangle was outside his door listening.

"Muahahahahahahahahaha!" she laughed evilly all the way home er... The Great Hall.

*******

Alanna was happily eating breakfast in The Great Hall. She was in a very good mood for no apparent reason.

"Your in a good mood," Draco said, half questioningly, half just stating the obvious.(but we love him for it)

"Yup," Was all she said, bouncing in her seat, munching happily on a piece of toast, not very aware of where she was.

"Why?" he asked.

"'Cause," she said.

"That doesn't tell me anything," Draco scowled and looked around, his attention turned to under the table where Crabbe and Goyle were making out. Draco got slightly whiter then normal and his eyes bugged-out.

"I didn't know you two were gay!" he said, shocked and kinda disgusted.

Crabbe and Goyle stopped making out and looked at Draco.

"What did you think we did those nights?" Goyle-the-slightly-less-dumb-one asked. Crabbe just stared with his mouth open drooling.

"Not that!" Draco snapped "Well, this explains a lot... wait a second. That's why YOU TWO WERE ALWAYS STARING AT MY ASS!!" he shouted the last part loud enough for everyone to hear and they all turned to gap at him then started laughing. Draco blushed a little and slouched down in his seat.

"There are kids here, Draco. We don't need to hear that language!" Alanna said disapprovingly.

"Language? You use bad language all the time!" he said, looking dumbfounded.

"Your such a boob." Alanna shot. "Speaking of boobs," she said perking up. "Where' Sevie?"

"Sevie?" Draco asked, questioningly.

"It's what I Professor Snape. Isn't it cute?" Alanna said happily.

"Yea cute. I'm sure he'll love it," he sniggered. As real Slytherins snigger or snort but never laugh at least not in public or sober.

"So were is the little nymph?" she asked.(nymph is not a word commonly used to describe Sevie but oh well*shrugs*)

"How should I know?!" Draco drawled,(yes his drawl is back everyone RUN!) not commenting on the nymph thing.

At that exact moment the doors to the Great Hall banged open, rather dramatically, and in walked Sevie clad(hehe i like that word clad its a nice word. Clad!!) in black. But something wasn't right. Something was wrong, very wrong indeed. He had things that shouldn't be there, things that were strange for him to have. He had... BOOBS!! Really big boobs.(tell me you didn't see that coming?!muahahaha!)

Everyone in the Great Hall gaped at him for the longest time. He looked a little paler then usual. The they all burst out laughing. Even the Slytherins, which is pretty sad, his own house was laughing at him.

"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!!" Sevie commanded. No one did.

"Aw! Is little Sevie-poo not happy with his triple E cup!?" Alanna asked, grinning wickedly.

"You! I will kill you!" Sevie yelled, giving Alanna a death glare that he, himself would run from.

Alanna just grinned wider. Draco, sitting next to her, was laughing so hard he peed his pants. Feeling really embarrassed, he high-tailed it outta there. A fresh wave of laughter exploded and Alanna grinned on.

"Looks like Malfoy needs some pull ups!" A random Hufflepuff laughed. Even more laughter followed.

"I'm going to wipe that grin of your face!" Sevie yelled and lunged at Alanna.

"EEKS!"she squeaked. She quickly jumped up and out of the way. She started running out of the Great Hall, Sevie hot on her trail.

"I'm gonna string you up in the dungeons by your ankles!!" he yelled. Chasing her out. They disappeared out the door and yelling was heard as they ran down the hall. Everyone was silent.

"Oh my," Lorina said from her spot at the Gryffindor table.

Dumbledore was smiling up from the staff table. Very amused by the whole thing.

"Severus has gone too far this time!" McGonagall said and jogged out of the great hall. Presumably to go find Sevie and Alanna.

******

Lorina walked to Defense Against the Dark Arts with the 'trio'.

"I wonder who the new teacher is?" Harry asked as they walked.

"We never seem to keep one for to long do we." Hermione remarked.

"I know!" Lorina cheered.

"What?" Ron asked, confused.

"I know who the DADA teacher is!!" she smiled.

"Who is it?" Harry asked.

"Not tellin'! Sorry," Lorina smiled.

After some more talking and trying to get Lorina to tell them, they finally made it to the DADA room. (A/N: YAY!!)

They opened the door, walked in and who should be sitting at the teachers desk but....... REMUS LUPIN!!!!!!(A/N: had to bring Remmie back*laughs*)

"Professor Lupin?" Harry, Hermione, and Ron said in unison.

"I thought you quit and weren't coming back," Harry said, looking confused but, happy to see him.

"Not happy to see me?" Lupin asked with a smile. Then thought about what he said and knew that was something Sirius would say. He had been living with him far to long.

"Just surprised," Harry said. Lorina was smiling her head off.

"I see you have meet Lorina," Lupin said, changing the subject.

"You know her?" Ron asked, stupidly.

"Yes, I knew her parents." Lupin said.

"How is my dad?" Lorina asked.(hinthint)

"He's fine, never better. A little bored though," Lupin grinned.

"Yea, he has a VERY short attention span." Lorina nodded.

"Yes," Lupin sighed. He noticed everyone else coming in and sitting down. "Well, get to your seats. Lets get this class started." he smiled.

*******

Sevie's chase was fruitless. He hadn't caught her.(meaning Alanna) He didn't even scare her. How pathetic. Then McGonagall found him and made him go teach his class. He frowned. 'That damn ruins everything' he thought 'I shall get my revenge' he smiled. ' Yes, when Hayes least expects it I'll be there and get her.'

He was smiling stupidly, thinking of revenge. He was also in the middle of class and giving the poor Hufflepuff and Gryffindor 4th years a heart attack.'Revenge will be sweet.' (yes, he still has boobs but he doesn't seem to know or care)(A/N: this would be the part where he cackles evilly but he doesn't)

**********

A few weeks passed, nothing major happened. Sevie turned out to be a stalker and a crappy one at that. Alanna always knew when he was there. She had officially renamed him 'Sevie the Stalker'. Draco on the other hand was waiting for the perfect moment to make his move on Lorina. He had a bad thing with grudges, he keep them. Oh, yea and Sevie got his boobs taken off so he looked all manly man like again.(A/N: if he did in the first place*cringes*) All was normal for a while... well as normal as it gets with two psycho Americans, Stalker Sevie, and a whole castle of things to get into.

So anyway that's enough of that back to what matters.

The Gryffindors and Slytherins were all sitting in a rather boring Transfig.(transfiguration) class. Every couple of minutes she would look up and glare at them, still kinda mad about the whole 'Strawberry head/ let's kill each other' thing. Lorina and Alanna were sitting at a table together. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were sitting behind them. They were all trying to turn turtles into tape.(A/N:*shrugs*) Alanna was sitting there with her feet propped up on the table and the chair lend back so it was only on two legs, her eyes closed like she was asleep. She hadn't done the assignment though. Lorina was glaring daggers at her turtle, who was hiding in it's shell, then turned and looked at Alanna.

"Are you going to do it?!" she asked, scowling. She was the more studious one, which wasn't saying much.

"Yea, yea I'll get to it," Alanna drawled boredly.(A/N: AAHH!! she drawled must be hanging around Draco to much)

"No, your gonna do it now!" Lorina commanded.

"Or what?!" Alanna challenged.

"Or I'll.... I'll... well I'll do something bad!"Lorina said, eye twitching slightly.(A/N: yes she really does do that I do too!!)

"Fine," Alanna smirked, having successfully pissed Lorina off. "I'll do it now."

Lorina got a smug look. "Good!" And went back to glaring at her turtle, who was trying to commit suicide by jumping off the table. "Silly turtle," she giggled and grabbed it, putting it back where he was.

Alanna sighed, took her feet off the desk. Her seat coming down with a sharp clumping noise and got to work. "Hmmmmm...." she mused "What a strange thing to do a turtle into tape..... Okay how do you do this? Right then... okay getting to work-"

"You know the first sign of insanity is when you talk to yourself." Came a smug drawl.

Alanna was brought back to reality and looked up to see Draco smirking at her. She gave him a dirty look. "What?I'm busy!" she snapped.

"Yea, real busy." Draco almost laughed, snorting instead.

"I am. See!" she said and waved her wand at the turtle. Which did not turn into tape but a big creature with a lion's head, goat's body, and a dragon's tail. The weight of it broke the table. "Eeep...." she choked out.

Lorina backed up into Harry's table, wide-eyed, staring up at the thing. Draco looked like he was going to wet himself again. Alanna just sat there, staring. And Frodo Baggins skipped down the halls of Hogwarts.(A/N: sorry inside joke. Probably will see him again though)Everyone else started running, frantically, for the door.(A/N: Harry stayed as well)

"Now, now everyone stay calm! Form a single fill line!" McGonagall said, exasperated. She'd never seen anything like it, a simple lesson, so much gone wrong. She looked back at the thing. "Oh forget it," she sighed and ran for the door with the other students.

Harry being the hero type took his wand out and was about to do something when the thing grabbed his wand and ate it. Harry was speechless.

"I know what that is...." Draco said faintly. A lot paler then before. "It's a a Chimaera." he gulped visibly.

"Well... now that we know what it is lets kill it!" Alanna said, a tad bit nervously. "Harry! Harry your the hero type you can kill it!" Lorina nodded along.

Harry frowned. "It ate my wand.... It it ate it," he said more to himself. The thing was starting to get more aware of where it was. This was not a good thing.

"Here." Lorina handed him her wand and smiled.

"Thanks," Harry said and waved it at the beast getting its attention. The thing narrowed its eyes at him. Then Harry mumbled a spell and killed the beast.

Alanna, Lorina, Draco, and Harry all stared at the Chimeara's dead form.

"Is it... dead?" Alanna asked.

"I think so.... Why don't you check Malfoy," Harry grinned.

"I don't think so...." Draco glared.

"Scared?" Harry smirked, knowing this would get to him.

"No, I'm not scared, Potter!" Draco spat and moved closer to the beast's crumpled form. He poked it a couple of times. Nothing happened. "It's dead!"

"Good!" Alanna grinned.

"YAY!!" Lorina smiled and ran over and hugged Harry, kissing him absently, on the cheek as she did so. Harry stiffened. She let go and started jumping up and down, hyper.

"Potter," Draco smirked. "Potter," he waved his hand in front of Harry's face "Potter!" Harry snapped out of it.

"What?!"

"It was just a kiss," Draco smirked.

Harry glared daggers at him. "Right gotta get my wand...." he said, walked over to the Chimeara and stuck his hand up it's butt.

******

Author's Note: What a nice ending don't you think? Cesia: I hate butt humor TBC: don't we all Cesia: then why did you put it in? TBC: because you insisted!! Cesia: oh, yea^^" Joe:*scoffs* Cesia:*glares* TBC: anyway it was a slit cliffie Cesia: not really but okay!! TBC: right anyways What will happen next time!!?!?! Joe: oh joy*scowls*

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