Scene Nineteen
(We are now at the fortress of Maramir's Army; we are in a library type area, though there are hardly any books there. We see Nichola, Finnegan, & Ristor looking about for maps. Finnegan & Ristor are of medium build, both donning many battle scars. Nichola is the only girl in the entire army, but her scars show as much experience as the rest of them. As Nichola pulls a few scrolls from a shelf, Maramir walks in the library)
Maramir: (Quickly) What've you got?
Nichola: (Placing the scrolls upon the table) Rumors have been flying about- too many to be considered as false. Times like these call for desperate measures-and maps are our keys to finding our reprieve.
(Maramir rolls out one of the scrolls and frowns down at it)
Maramir: (Angrily) This isn't a map of Middle Earth! This is a map of the gay part of Middle Earth!
Finnegan: (Awkwardly laughing as he scoops up the map) What? Oh! How did that get there? Heh! Heh! I've gotta give those boys a talkin' to, I do! Heh! Heh! (Slowly folds up the map and carefully places it in his back pocket)
(Nichola unfurles another scroll for Maramir)
Nichola: (Seriously) Here's a map, Maramir!
Maramir: (Frowns at the map) This map has been written during another age! I cannot read it!
Nichola: (Practically) That's because it's upside down.
(Nichola turns the map over for Maramir. Finnegan & Ristor stare intentionally at the map)
Maramir: (To himself as he points at the map) Okay, so here's (Points towards Mordor) Mordor-
Ristor: (Raising an eyebrow) Wait a moment! I thought Mordor was over here! (Points towards the Northwest portion of the map)
Nichola: (Quickly) No.we turned it right side up.
Ristor: (Nodding in understanding) Oh! Okay!
Maramir: (To Nichola) What've you found out? Nichola: (Quickly, pointing towards the map when it is needed) My scouts have seen different Orcs patrolling the forests-today's raid party was no different than the countless others we have seen. Word has it that Jauron's got tons of Orcs behind the Black Gate.
Maramir: (Nodding, placing his hand upon his chin) How many?
Nichola: (Shaking her head at the possibility) Thousands-more come out every day.
Ristor: (In a simple tone) Well, that sucks.
Maramir: (Bewildered) So-Andraman attacks from Isengard.(He points at Isengard) and Jauron from Mordor.(Points at Mordor)
(Camera pulls out to see the country of Gondor right between the two-Gondor is unmistakably next)
Maramir: (Practically) Of all the places we could've founded Gondor, that had to be one of them!
Finnegan: (Defensively) Hey! It seemed like the perfect opportunity at the time.(In a defeated tone) until the Walgreens closed down.
Maramir: (Simply) Odds are that Jauron shall strike at Osgiliath.Gondor is weak. He will wait until later to batter our defenses. (Looks to Finnegan & Ristor) Place your Guard on watch, just as an extra precaution.
Nichola: (Rather angrily) Uh, excuse me! You forgot something! How come whenever we're in a war-type situation, you always turn to Ristor and Finnegan? How come you never give me orders?
Maramir: (Simply) Because you're in charge of the scouts and hunters! Finnegan is Commander of our forces and Ristor is his lieutenant; they're in charge of military actions!
Nichola: (After a while of silence) How come I'm not in charge of military actions? How come I'm stuck with scouts and hunters?
Ristor: (Agitated) Ah no! Not this again!
Nichola: (Getting to her feet and protesting) You know what I think this is? I think this is just a severely pompous, discriminating case of male dominance! It's always the men who get to do everything! And the women are given the short end of everything! I'm tired of this!
Maramir: (Rolling his eyes) Nichola, you're being really stupid! Nichola: (Angrily, pointing at Maramir) Oh, so now I'm stupid, because I'm a woman!
Maramir: (Angrily) No, you're stupid because you're acting like a major crap-head! Knock it off!
Nichola: (With a derisive snort) HA! I'll knock it off when you knock it off! One of these days, Maramir! One of these days!
(And with that, Nichola exits the room. Ristor & Finnegan look at one another with open scowls)
Ristor: (Whispering) P.M.S?
Finnegan: (Rolling his eyes) Either that or she's still clinging to that stupid lecture those feminists gave when they came here!
Maramir: (Looking at Ristor & Finnegan) Remember to keep your patrols on alert, men. I wish to know the slightest disturbance throughout the forest.
Ristor: (Practically) Maramir, we're going to need help! We've only got a few hundred on our side! Without the help of Rohan-!
Maramir: (Irritably) Rohan has never come to our aid before-what makes you so sure they shall do so, now! The Elves are leaving Middle Earth, and the Dwarves are-are-(Thinks about it for a moment) Where the hell are the Dwarves, anyways?
Ristor: (Looking at Finnegan and shrugging) I've no idea!
Maramir: (Back on the subject) We're going to have to fight this on our own. The question is-with what?
(We now see somebody lift the blindfold off of Lizzo Baggins, who breathes in and out with relief. Kram Gamgee is right next to her, and they both look around curiously. They are in a room that seems to be carved from a cave or something-in the background, we see members of Maramir's Army walking about, doing something that needs to be done; there is also a waterfall flowing delicately from the entranceway of the cave. As frightened as they are, the hobbits can't help but be amazed)
Kram Gamgee: (Curiously) What is this place?
Lizzo Baggins: (Irritably) Do I look like a sign?
(We see Maramir appear from an entranceway within the cave. The hobbits look upon him cautiously, not knowing what he's planning to do. But both hobbits are surprised when the Man smiles warmly at them)
Maramir: (Puffing his chest out indignantly) Greetings, small ones!
(Both hobbits still look cautiously at this Man-not really trusting themselves to believe that he's going to be super-nice to them. Maramir laughs heartily)
Maramir: (Proudly) Stand up, little ones! Nobody obliged you to sit upon a hard rock all day!
Kram Gamgee: (Jumping to her feet immediately and rubbing her bottom) Oh, that's a relief! That rock you guy's got is really jagged!
(Slowly, Lizzo Baggins stands as well, but not without looking right into Maramir's eyes. For some reason, Lizzo Baggins looks upon Maramir as if dawned by a sudden recognition-a figure of the past that has been altered just slightly; but as to whom it could be, she has no idea. Maramir notices the other looking at him and smiles)
Maramir: (Smiling) And who might you be, little one?
Lizzo Baggins: (After thinking about it for a moment) I believe-given the circumstances-I am entitled to ask you first.
Maramir: (With a small laugh) Circumstances? What circumstances do you imply?
Lizzo Baggins: (With a scowl) Where should I start-the sneaking up on us or the attempted smothering of us with blindfolds?
Maramir: (With another small laugh) All right, little one! I am Maramir, the Captain of Maramir's Army.
Lizzo Baggins: (Raising an eyebrow) Maramir's army?
Maramir: (Proudly) One of the finest armies to rebel against Gondor!
Kram Gamgee: (Curiously) What does your army protect?
Maramir: (With a shrug) Gondor.
(The hobbits blink at Maramir)
Maramir: (His smile wavering just slightly) We're on a tight budget. (Deciding to change the subject) So-what do you two think of my army's domain?
Lizzo Baggins: (Looking about the place casually, trying to shield her amazement) It's quite nice, Mr. Maramir.
Maramir: (Laughing slightly) Please! Don't call me Mr. Maramir; it's too formal! Call me Captain Maramir.
Kram Gamgee: (Her brow furrowing) Isn't that also formal?
Maramir: (With another shrug) Well-"captain" sounds a lot cooler than the commonly used term "mister". (Rolls his eyes) But anyways, come and have a look around at our compound! This is the place where Men are able to turn into soldiers with extensive training-and have a bit of fun along the way! I believe you will be quite pleased!
(Maramir leads the two hobbits into the cave, where he approaches an area where it seems like a lounge. There are few Men here, but those that are there are sitting or sleeping against the wall; some are talking to one another in quiet tones)
Maramir: (Proudly) This is the lounge, where our Men can unwind after a hard day! They are ever alert to await new duties, however!
Kram Gamgee: (Noticing the snoozing soldiers) Looks like some of them are taking a bit of a nap, eh?
Maramir: (Shocked) What? Nonsense! My men are merely resting after a hard day-contemplating their battle techniques and, no doubt, formulating new ones!
(We hear Soldier of Maramir#8-who is one of the Men sitting against the wall sleeping-give a great snore. Maramir, Lizzo Baggins, & Kram Gamgee look at the sleeping Man, then at one another)
Maramir: (In a defensive voice) I know what you are thinking, little ones, and I assure you that it is an unnecessary thought! My men are seasoned fighters! They are as tough as nails and strong as steel!
(Suddenly, we hear a flamboyant sounding Soldier of Maramir#9 shout out)
Soldier of Maramir#9: MARAMIR!
(Soldier of Maramir#9 runs in a very girly manner towards Maramir, followed next by an equally girly Soldier of Maramir#10; both Men pay no heed to the hobbits nearby)
Soldier of Maramir#9: (In his flamboyant voice, pointing angrily towards Soldier of Maramir#10) He pushed me!
Soldier of Maramir#10: (In his flamboyant voice, defensively) Yeah-well, he called me a dirty name!
Soldier of Maramir#9: (To Soldier of Maramir#10) Well, that's because you made fun of my tea-cozies! Soldier of Maramir#10: (Putting his hands upon his hips) Hey! They looked like ducks! How was I supposed to know that they were suns?
Soldier of Maramir#9: (Angrily shoving the other Man) Crap-head!
Soldier of Maramir#10: (Angrily shoving back) Take that back!
(The two soldiers begin to slap at one another in a girly type fashion. Finally, Maramir breaks up the two)
Maramir: (Loudly) Guys! GUYS!
(Both soldiers look at Maramir, who clears his throat)
Maramir: (Calmly) Now.I want you two to look into each other's eyes and tell each other that you love one another! Do it!
(Soldiers of Maramir#9&10 look into each other's eyes-then all of the anger and frustration is washed away)
Soldier of Maramir#10: (In an apologetic tone) I'm so sorry, man! I didn't mean to be a jerk!
Soldier of Maramir#9: (In the same apologetic tone) No, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have over-reacted like that!
(The two clasp hands)
Soldier of Maramir#10: (In a cheery voice) Now, let's go play hopscotch!
Soldier of Maramir#9: (In the same cheery tone) All right! But I warn you: I have weak ankles!
(With that, both soldiers disappear off to the side, and Maramir is left with the two hobbits. Maramir looks severely boastful about what he has done-Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee look at one another awkwardly)
Maramir: (Proudly) Well, what do you think?
Lizzo Baggins: (With an awkward tone) Er-you sure do stress the point of love.
Maramir: (Waving his hand as if this isn't a big deal) Well, if an army is to work together, they must have a keen tolerance of one another! I make it a point to spread platonic love throughout my army, so that everybody tolerates one another, and some are not left in the crowd. It builds character and strength.
(Maramir begins to walk from the lounge; the hobbits following close behind)
Maramir: (Darkly as he enters the next room) Though-some people like to abuse the privilege; or don't even use it at all!
(He indicates the room around him, where many Men are on their knees, their hands behind their heads, and looking at the wall. Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee look at one another awkwardly again)
Maramir: (Darkly) This is our disciplining area. Some armies apply discipline by suspending that individual that started the incident, or beating him without mercy! But I apply a much more horrible method of discipline.
Lizzo Baggins: (Raising her eyebrows in disbelief at Maramir) Which is.?
Maramir: (Darkly) I leave the Men alone to their thoughts. They are confined to this single task of staring at the wall, destined to think of their crime for as long as I deem it necessary.
Kram Gamgee: (Curiously) And how long do you believe it to be necessary Mister-I mean-Captain Maramir?
Maramir: (Simply) Oh! It can be any time at all! (Goes to Soldier of Maramir#11) This one's been here for five hours. (Goes to Soldier of Maramir#12) This one's been here for one day. (Goes to Soldier of Maramir#13) This one's been here for a week. (Goes over to a skeleton, but doesn't really notice it) This one's been.(Looks down and his face drops as he sees the skeleton) Oh.well.(Kicks the skeleton's bones off to the side) Well, I think that's pretty self explanatory.
Soldier of Maramir#13: (Angrily) This is stupid! I've been sitting in the same position for over a week and I still know I haven't done anything wrong! I don't deserve to be here!
Maramir: (Sternly) Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you pulled the fire alarm, eh?
Soldier of Maramir#13: (Irritably) Can't I at least walk around a bit?
Maramir: (Angrily) You want me to add another week for you, 'cus I'll do it! So help me Gondor, I'll do it!
(Soldier of Maramir#13 turns back to the wall, mumbling angrily. Rolling his eyes, Maramir looks at the two hobbits, who don't really know what to say about this. Maramir leads them into another area of the cave, which is empty at this point)
Maramir: (In a boastful voice) So, what do you two think about my men? (Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee look at one another awkwardly-what else is there to say?)
Lizzo Baggins: (Clears her throat and gives a small smile) It's nice.
Maramir: (His face falling slightly) But.?
Lizzo Baggins: (Scratching the back of her neck nervously) But.given the circumstances-and I'm not saying anything bad about your techniques! But, wouldn't you expect-I mean to say, in a practical tone.I mean to say-Oh, dear.
Maramir: (Getting the idea and nodding slowly) Ah.you believe the Men to be frail?
Lizzo Baggins: (Quickly) Well-not necessarily! What I mean is-!
Maramir: (Irritably) I think I know what you mean, little one! Many believe the same as well; that's why we don't have a bunch of visitors roaming our forests! You judge the strength of my Men-before you can even get to know them! Well, let me tell you something, little one: these are not some peasants that lumber out of Gondor in a drunken stupor! The race of Man is under much prejudice, but I assure you that the Men of Maramir are not apt to such judgments! Mark my words, little one, the moment danger is a foot in this world, the Men of Maramir are willing to stand up and defend it! These are the most seasoned fighters you could ever lay your eyes on! Oh sure, we may stress the points of platonic love for unionization-and our disciplinary tactics are not as hard nosed as some-but I assure you, little one, you're never going to find a group of civilized fighters anywhere in the Land of Gondor!
(Over the intercom, we hear Nichola give a bulletin)
Nichola: (In a serious tone) Uh-attention, Men of Maramir-if you proceed to the back of the fortress, the water fight has now begun. Thank you.
(At that moment, swarms of Soldiers of Maramir pour into the room, each coming from different directions, and heading towards the outside of the fortress-each one of them is clad in swimming trunks and they are all hooting and hollering dumbly. Amidst the crowd, we see Maramir speaking to Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee)
Maramir: (Shrugging) Well-somewhat civilized at times.
Soldier of Maramir#14: (We don't see him, but he's shouting from within the group) Hey, everybody! I'm takin' off my drawers!
Soldier of Maramir#15: (Cheerfully) Yeah! We're going streaking! Streaking party!
Maramir: (Seriously) Now, no more streaking parties, guys! The last one you had got way out of control! Lizzo Baggins: (In a forlorn tone to Kram Gamgee) Too bad Rippin isn't here- she loves streaking parties!
(Suddenly, we go back to the Fangorn Forest, where Big Nuts is lumbering through the forest. Then, we focus upon Rippin Took & Jessie Brandybuck, who are simply sitting upon the limbs of their new Ent companion. Suddenly, Rippin Took's head snaps up and her eyes go wide)
Rippin Took: (Cheerfully) I wanna go streaking!
(Jessie Brandybuck stares in amazement at Rippin Took-she obviously had not expected her friend to say something as stupid as that. Even Big Nuts looks up in puzzlement)
Jessie Brandybuck: (Her brow furrowed, and straightening her glasses) Uh- where did that come from?
Rippin Took: (Slowly) I-don't-know!
(We go back to Maramir's fortress, and we see the last Soldiers of Maramir head out to the water fight, leaving Maramir, Lizzo Baggins, & Kram Gamgee alone once again. Becoming strangely serious, Maramir indicates for the hobbits to sit down, which they do)
Maramir: (In a serious tone to the hobbits) Now that there aren't so many eavesdropping ears about, I think it is time we get to know the two strangers sitting before me. (He places his hands upon his hips and raises an eyebrow at the two) My men tell me that you are Orc spies.
Kram Gamgee: (Shocked, and speaking angrily) Orc spies? Now wait just a minute! I can assure you, good sir, that we are not as foul as Orc spies! For you to give us such a title is quite ludicrous!
Lizzo Baggins: (Nodding in encouragement) You tell him, Kram!
Kram Gamgee: (In a practical tone) I mean, we could be anyone's spies, and yet you automatically assume that we are foul Orcs! Do we look like Orcs?
Maramir: (Suspiciously) Well, we are doing battle with the Orcs.
Kram Gamgee: (Angrily) Still, that doesn't mean that we're Orc spies! You don't really know who your allies are during this war! For all you know, we could be-Elf spies-Dwarf spies-or even Men spies! Treason is going around, after all.
Lizzo Baggins: (Laughing uncomfortably) Heh, heh! Kram, I think you're missing the major point in that we're (In a very angry tone) not anyone's spies! Maramir: (Curiously) Well, if you are not spies, then who are you?
(Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee look at one another awkwardly-do they really want to give away that information? But Maramir is not going to let it slide by)
Maramir: (Firmly) Speak!
(Lizzo Baggins nods to Kram Gamgee, and they turn towards Maramir)
Lizzo Baggins: (Very carefully, so as not to give away too much) We are hobbits of the Shire. Lizzo Baggins is my name-and this is my best friend, Kram Gamgee. (Indicates Kram Gamgee)
Kram Gamgee: (Waving awkwardly) Hey.
Maramir: (In a joking tone) Bodyguard?
Kram Gamgee: (Indignantly) No! Her gardener-and cook-and I also clip her toenails while she sleeps!
(Lizzo Baggins gives Kram Gamgee a wide-eyed stare. Kram Gamgee sees this and looks bewildered)
Kram Gamgee: (Wondering what the big deal is) What? They get long! And just because you've got hairy feet, it doesn't give you any excuse to let 'em grow like that! That's just nasty!
Maramir: (Deciding to ignore this statement) What are you doing upon the forbidden grounds of my fortress?
Lizzo Baggins: (Quickly) We took a wrong turn from our original destination- we didn't think anything was wrong until you attacked us! (Deciding to reveal more to put Maramir somewhat at ease) We were traveling with seven other companions, but we got separated-(Sadly) one of them we lost in Moria. Two were of my kin; one was an Elf, the other a Dwarf. Two Men accompanied us: Jimagorn, son of Jimathorn; and Mikomir of Gondor.
(At this, Maramir's eyes go rather wide in shock. Lizzo Baggins immediately stops talking, wondering if she has said too much)
Maramir: (Slowly) You-knew Mikomir?
Lizzo Baggins: (Keeping her tone blank, deciding not to let the other decipher any signs of fear) We knew each other well. (Raising an eyebrow at the other) Why? Why do you care?
Maramir: (His eyes narrowing) He was my brother.
Kram Gamgee: (Angrily) Oh, he was, was he? (Getting to her feet angrily) Well, let me tell you something, Mister Maramir, you're brother was no saint!
Lizzo Baggins: (Quickly) Kram-!
Kram Gamgee: (Angrily) No, Miss Lizz! I'm not going to stand here, and hear all these great tales about this guy's brother! (To Maramir) Your brother has a lot of nerve, by the way! Just because he's a great official from Gondor, it doesn't mean he can prance around, acting like he's king of the world! Picking on Miss Lizzo like that, it's quite ridiculous! You may think that your brother is some great guy, but to me, he's nothing but a great git! If you ask me anything, I think your brother should go-jump in a hole or something!
(Kram Gamgee breathes in and out in anger-but Maramir simply stands there, looking very calm; but you can tell that he is desperately trying to keep his anger in check)
Maramir: (Giving a small, ironic smile) My brother's dead.
(Lizzo Baggins' mouth drops open in shock-she obviously had not expected that. Kram Gamgee is rather shocked too-but she merely stands there, blinking slowly at a very calm Maramir. Kram Gamgee looks rather awkward)
Kram Gamgee: (In a small tone) Well-this is awkward.
Lizzo Baggins: (Overcome with shock) What? Mikomir-dead? I don't understand! I-How? When?
Maramir: (In a smooth voice) I was hoping that maybe you could tell me?
(Lizzo Baggins' eyes remain wide as she realizes that she is being accused of murder. Kram Gamgee finally sits down and looks from Maramir to Lizzo Baggins)
Kram Gamgee: (In a small tone) No wait-I take my previous statement back; this is awkward.
Lizzo Baggins: (With a small laugh to Maramir) You cannot possibly be accusing me of murder! (Seriously) I didn't kill him! I didn't!
Kram Gamgee: (Interjecting peacefully) Okay, let's hold up a minute! (To Maramir) What makes you believe that your brother is even dead? He may have gotten lost or-!
Maramir: (Sadly) Oh, he is dead-I found it out the hard way. I was fishing in my favorite water hole. (We experience a flashback of Maramir's, where he is sitting on the shore of a lake, casting a line out to the center of the lake to catch some fish- to no avail)
Voice of Maramir: .but the fish were not biting as much that day, and my line was rather short.
(The past Maramir stands up angrily)
Maramir: Darn! This would be so much easier if I could have my boat with me! But no! The Men of Maramir don't want to lug a huge boat with them for ten miles! Gees! (Shakes his head irritably) Lazy bums. (Looks out towards the lake and his face brightens as he sees something) Wait a second! What's that?
(We see a boat float onto the lake's smooth surface-it is the boat from Fellowship of the Movie that the remaining three members of the company used to send Mikomir down the water fall. But Maramir doesn't know this, and sees a perfect opportunity)
Maramir: (Stepping into the lake and wading towards the boat) Yes! A boat! It looks a bit battered, but I can patch that up in no time! (As he approaches the boat) Well, talk about your good lu-(Looks into the boat and sees the dead Mikomir, shouts out, and falls back into the lake) AH! DEAD BODY!
(We go back to the present-day Maramir, where he looks very grim as he relives the event in his mind)
Maramir: (Sadly) Once I had overcome my first initial shock, another encompassed me: lying within the boat was the dead body of my brother.
Kram Gamgee: (She clicks her tongue in discomfort) Well-I guess that answers my question.
Lizzo Baggins: (Seriously) I'm telling you! I had no idea he was dead until now! I didn't kill him! What would make you think such a thing?
Maramir: (Evenly) From what your friend chooses to reveal, you had a good motive. Why should I believe you when you claim innocence?
Lizzo Baggins: (Irritably standing to her feet) Okay-look at me! I'm this tall! (Places her hand to where the top of her head is to indicate her short stature) I've got hairy feet and I hardly knew your brother! Sure he may have been a bit of git, but I'm not going to kill him for it! Plus, I wince at the smallest things and I get scared of the smallest things! Tell him, Kram!
Kram Gamgee: (To Maramir in a practical tone) She's a coward, all right, Maramir.
Lizzo Baggins: (Defensively) Besides, even if I wanted to kill your brother- which I didn't-I wouldn't have anything to kill him with!
(At that, Sting falls out from Lizzo Baggins' weapons' belt; it lands with a CLASH onto the ground. The three stare at the sword for a long time. Lizzo Baggins blinks awkwardly at the weapon)
Lizzo Baggins: (Angrily) Huh-where did that come from?
(With a brisk movement, Maramir picks up Sting, examining it)
Maramir: (Practically) It's very light, (Tosses it from one hand to the other) maneuverable-
(Maramir makes a plunging motion with the sword, barely missing Lizzo Baggins' head. The blade rests just inches from Lizzo Baggins. The hobbit fights to stay calm. Kram Gamgee glares at Maramir)
Maramir: (Smoothly) .to a person of your height. (Looks at the weapon carefully) But it is not the weapon that took my brother. (Tosses Sting to the ground near his feet) Arrows took my brother's life, not the blade from a sword.
(The two hobbits look at one another in discomfort-whatever hopes they had of being on good terms with Maramir seem to be sliding away fast. Maramir shakes his head to pull himself out of his gaze)
Maramir: (Simply) But enough of these grim memories-I have another question for you two. (Leans near to the two hobbits) What happened with the other companion you were traveling with? You know, the foul one?
Kram Gamgee: (After thinking about it for a while) Uh-Rippin was one of those hobbits who got separated from us.
Maramir: (Irritably) No! I mean the gangly, mangy looking creature! The one that kind of looked like Gandhi?
Kram Gamgee: (Nodding in understanding) Oh! You mean-!
Lizzo Baggins: (Interrupting quickly) No one.
(Shocked, Kram Gamgee looks at Lizzo Baggins, who is giving her friend a piercing stare to go along with it)
Lizzo Baggins: (Firmly) There was no one else-(To Maramir) just the two of us.
(Maramir looks very skeptical about this, but he doesn't say anything. Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee sits there, looking very apprehensive about this situation. Lizzo Baggins seems more worried than the other; it was her decision not reveal the identity of Jenolum, and if Maramir catches them in the lie-he may catch them in the bigger lie that Lizzo Baggins has to keep. Finally, Maramir nods slowly in understanding)
Maramir: (Slowly) Right-if that is all, then.(Shouts out in a cheery tone) All right! Guards, lock them in the cell!
(Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee gasp in shock as Soldiers of Maramir#16&17 grasp the hobbits by their shoulders and begin to drag them towards the cell)
Lizzo Baggins: (In a frightened tone) What's all this?
Maramir: (With a laugh) You two have trespassed upon the Land of Maramir! I cannot just let you go!
Kram Gamgee: (Angrily) If we're intruders, why did you show us around your fortress, you ninny?
Maramir: (As if this is obvious) I wanted to show you a bit of hospitality before I imprisoned you! I didn't want to be rude!
Kram Gamgee: (As she is dragged away, yelling) Oh, and this is supposed to be a freakin' birthday party or something?
(Both hobbits are drug away from the are, leaving Maramir alone with his thoughts)
(We are now at the fortress of Maramir's Army; we are in a library type area, though there are hardly any books there. We see Nichola, Finnegan, & Ristor looking about for maps. Finnegan & Ristor are of medium build, both donning many battle scars. Nichola is the only girl in the entire army, but her scars show as much experience as the rest of them. As Nichola pulls a few scrolls from a shelf, Maramir walks in the library)
Maramir: (Quickly) What've you got?
Nichola: (Placing the scrolls upon the table) Rumors have been flying about- too many to be considered as false. Times like these call for desperate measures-and maps are our keys to finding our reprieve.
(Maramir rolls out one of the scrolls and frowns down at it)
Maramir: (Angrily) This isn't a map of Middle Earth! This is a map of the gay part of Middle Earth!
Finnegan: (Awkwardly laughing as he scoops up the map) What? Oh! How did that get there? Heh! Heh! I've gotta give those boys a talkin' to, I do! Heh! Heh! (Slowly folds up the map and carefully places it in his back pocket)
(Nichola unfurles another scroll for Maramir)
Nichola: (Seriously) Here's a map, Maramir!
Maramir: (Frowns at the map) This map has been written during another age! I cannot read it!
Nichola: (Practically) That's because it's upside down.
(Nichola turns the map over for Maramir. Finnegan & Ristor stare intentionally at the map)
Maramir: (To himself as he points at the map) Okay, so here's (Points towards Mordor) Mordor-
Ristor: (Raising an eyebrow) Wait a moment! I thought Mordor was over here! (Points towards the Northwest portion of the map)
Nichola: (Quickly) No.we turned it right side up.
Ristor: (Nodding in understanding) Oh! Okay!
Maramir: (To Nichola) What've you found out? Nichola: (Quickly, pointing towards the map when it is needed) My scouts have seen different Orcs patrolling the forests-today's raid party was no different than the countless others we have seen. Word has it that Jauron's got tons of Orcs behind the Black Gate.
Maramir: (Nodding, placing his hand upon his chin) How many?
Nichola: (Shaking her head at the possibility) Thousands-more come out every day.
Ristor: (In a simple tone) Well, that sucks.
Maramir: (Bewildered) So-Andraman attacks from Isengard.(He points at Isengard) and Jauron from Mordor.(Points at Mordor)
(Camera pulls out to see the country of Gondor right between the two-Gondor is unmistakably next)
Maramir: (Practically) Of all the places we could've founded Gondor, that had to be one of them!
Finnegan: (Defensively) Hey! It seemed like the perfect opportunity at the time.(In a defeated tone) until the Walgreens closed down.
Maramir: (Simply) Odds are that Jauron shall strike at Osgiliath.Gondor is weak. He will wait until later to batter our defenses. (Looks to Finnegan & Ristor) Place your Guard on watch, just as an extra precaution.
Nichola: (Rather angrily) Uh, excuse me! You forgot something! How come whenever we're in a war-type situation, you always turn to Ristor and Finnegan? How come you never give me orders?
Maramir: (Simply) Because you're in charge of the scouts and hunters! Finnegan is Commander of our forces and Ristor is his lieutenant; they're in charge of military actions!
Nichola: (After a while of silence) How come I'm not in charge of military actions? How come I'm stuck with scouts and hunters?
Ristor: (Agitated) Ah no! Not this again!
Nichola: (Getting to her feet and protesting) You know what I think this is? I think this is just a severely pompous, discriminating case of male dominance! It's always the men who get to do everything! And the women are given the short end of everything! I'm tired of this!
Maramir: (Rolling his eyes) Nichola, you're being really stupid! Nichola: (Angrily, pointing at Maramir) Oh, so now I'm stupid, because I'm a woman!
Maramir: (Angrily) No, you're stupid because you're acting like a major crap-head! Knock it off!
Nichola: (With a derisive snort) HA! I'll knock it off when you knock it off! One of these days, Maramir! One of these days!
(And with that, Nichola exits the room. Ristor & Finnegan look at one another with open scowls)
Ristor: (Whispering) P.M.S?
Finnegan: (Rolling his eyes) Either that or she's still clinging to that stupid lecture those feminists gave when they came here!
Maramir: (Looking at Ristor & Finnegan) Remember to keep your patrols on alert, men. I wish to know the slightest disturbance throughout the forest.
Ristor: (Practically) Maramir, we're going to need help! We've only got a few hundred on our side! Without the help of Rohan-!
Maramir: (Irritably) Rohan has never come to our aid before-what makes you so sure they shall do so, now! The Elves are leaving Middle Earth, and the Dwarves are-are-(Thinks about it for a moment) Where the hell are the Dwarves, anyways?
Ristor: (Looking at Finnegan and shrugging) I've no idea!
Maramir: (Back on the subject) We're going to have to fight this on our own. The question is-with what?
(We now see somebody lift the blindfold off of Lizzo Baggins, who breathes in and out with relief. Kram Gamgee is right next to her, and they both look around curiously. They are in a room that seems to be carved from a cave or something-in the background, we see members of Maramir's Army walking about, doing something that needs to be done; there is also a waterfall flowing delicately from the entranceway of the cave. As frightened as they are, the hobbits can't help but be amazed)
Kram Gamgee: (Curiously) What is this place?
Lizzo Baggins: (Irritably) Do I look like a sign?
(We see Maramir appear from an entranceway within the cave. The hobbits look upon him cautiously, not knowing what he's planning to do. But both hobbits are surprised when the Man smiles warmly at them)
Maramir: (Puffing his chest out indignantly) Greetings, small ones!
(Both hobbits still look cautiously at this Man-not really trusting themselves to believe that he's going to be super-nice to them. Maramir laughs heartily)
Maramir: (Proudly) Stand up, little ones! Nobody obliged you to sit upon a hard rock all day!
Kram Gamgee: (Jumping to her feet immediately and rubbing her bottom) Oh, that's a relief! That rock you guy's got is really jagged!
(Slowly, Lizzo Baggins stands as well, but not without looking right into Maramir's eyes. For some reason, Lizzo Baggins looks upon Maramir as if dawned by a sudden recognition-a figure of the past that has been altered just slightly; but as to whom it could be, she has no idea. Maramir notices the other looking at him and smiles)
Maramir: (Smiling) And who might you be, little one?
Lizzo Baggins: (After thinking about it for a moment) I believe-given the circumstances-I am entitled to ask you first.
Maramir: (With a small laugh) Circumstances? What circumstances do you imply?
Lizzo Baggins: (With a scowl) Where should I start-the sneaking up on us or the attempted smothering of us with blindfolds?
Maramir: (With another small laugh) All right, little one! I am Maramir, the Captain of Maramir's Army.
Lizzo Baggins: (Raising an eyebrow) Maramir's army?
Maramir: (Proudly) One of the finest armies to rebel against Gondor!
Kram Gamgee: (Curiously) What does your army protect?
Maramir: (With a shrug) Gondor.
(The hobbits blink at Maramir)
Maramir: (His smile wavering just slightly) We're on a tight budget. (Deciding to change the subject) So-what do you two think of my army's domain?
Lizzo Baggins: (Looking about the place casually, trying to shield her amazement) It's quite nice, Mr. Maramir.
Maramir: (Laughing slightly) Please! Don't call me Mr. Maramir; it's too formal! Call me Captain Maramir.
Kram Gamgee: (Her brow furrowing) Isn't that also formal?
Maramir: (With another shrug) Well-"captain" sounds a lot cooler than the commonly used term "mister". (Rolls his eyes) But anyways, come and have a look around at our compound! This is the place where Men are able to turn into soldiers with extensive training-and have a bit of fun along the way! I believe you will be quite pleased!
(Maramir leads the two hobbits into the cave, where he approaches an area where it seems like a lounge. There are few Men here, but those that are there are sitting or sleeping against the wall; some are talking to one another in quiet tones)
Maramir: (Proudly) This is the lounge, where our Men can unwind after a hard day! They are ever alert to await new duties, however!
Kram Gamgee: (Noticing the snoozing soldiers) Looks like some of them are taking a bit of a nap, eh?
Maramir: (Shocked) What? Nonsense! My men are merely resting after a hard day-contemplating their battle techniques and, no doubt, formulating new ones!
(We hear Soldier of Maramir#8-who is one of the Men sitting against the wall sleeping-give a great snore. Maramir, Lizzo Baggins, & Kram Gamgee look at the sleeping Man, then at one another)
Maramir: (In a defensive voice) I know what you are thinking, little ones, and I assure you that it is an unnecessary thought! My men are seasoned fighters! They are as tough as nails and strong as steel!
(Suddenly, we hear a flamboyant sounding Soldier of Maramir#9 shout out)
Soldier of Maramir#9: MARAMIR!
(Soldier of Maramir#9 runs in a very girly manner towards Maramir, followed next by an equally girly Soldier of Maramir#10; both Men pay no heed to the hobbits nearby)
Soldier of Maramir#9: (In his flamboyant voice, pointing angrily towards Soldier of Maramir#10) He pushed me!
Soldier of Maramir#10: (In his flamboyant voice, defensively) Yeah-well, he called me a dirty name!
Soldier of Maramir#9: (To Soldier of Maramir#10) Well, that's because you made fun of my tea-cozies! Soldier of Maramir#10: (Putting his hands upon his hips) Hey! They looked like ducks! How was I supposed to know that they were suns?
Soldier of Maramir#9: (Angrily shoving the other Man) Crap-head!
Soldier of Maramir#10: (Angrily shoving back) Take that back!
(The two soldiers begin to slap at one another in a girly type fashion. Finally, Maramir breaks up the two)
Maramir: (Loudly) Guys! GUYS!
(Both soldiers look at Maramir, who clears his throat)
Maramir: (Calmly) Now.I want you two to look into each other's eyes and tell each other that you love one another! Do it!
(Soldiers of Maramir#9&10 look into each other's eyes-then all of the anger and frustration is washed away)
Soldier of Maramir#10: (In an apologetic tone) I'm so sorry, man! I didn't mean to be a jerk!
Soldier of Maramir#9: (In the same apologetic tone) No, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have over-reacted like that!
(The two clasp hands)
Soldier of Maramir#10: (In a cheery voice) Now, let's go play hopscotch!
Soldier of Maramir#9: (In the same cheery tone) All right! But I warn you: I have weak ankles!
(With that, both soldiers disappear off to the side, and Maramir is left with the two hobbits. Maramir looks severely boastful about what he has done-Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee look at one another awkwardly)
Maramir: (Proudly) Well, what do you think?
Lizzo Baggins: (With an awkward tone) Er-you sure do stress the point of love.
Maramir: (Waving his hand as if this isn't a big deal) Well, if an army is to work together, they must have a keen tolerance of one another! I make it a point to spread platonic love throughout my army, so that everybody tolerates one another, and some are not left in the crowd. It builds character and strength.
(Maramir begins to walk from the lounge; the hobbits following close behind)
Maramir: (Darkly as he enters the next room) Though-some people like to abuse the privilege; or don't even use it at all!
(He indicates the room around him, where many Men are on their knees, their hands behind their heads, and looking at the wall. Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee look at one another awkwardly again)
Maramir: (Darkly) This is our disciplining area. Some armies apply discipline by suspending that individual that started the incident, or beating him without mercy! But I apply a much more horrible method of discipline.
Lizzo Baggins: (Raising her eyebrows in disbelief at Maramir) Which is.?
Maramir: (Darkly) I leave the Men alone to their thoughts. They are confined to this single task of staring at the wall, destined to think of their crime for as long as I deem it necessary.
Kram Gamgee: (Curiously) And how long do you believe it to be necessary Mister-I mean-Captain Maramir?
Maramir: (Simply) Oh! It can be any time at all! (Goes to Soldier of Maramir#11) This one's been here for five hours. (Goes to Soldier of Maramir#12) This one's been here for one day. (Goes to Soldier of Maramir#13) This one's been here for a week. (Goes over to a skeleton, but doesn't really notice it) This one's been.(Looks down and his face drops as he sees the skeleton) Oh.well.(Kicks the skeleton's bones off to the side) Well, I think that's pretty self explanatory.
Soldier of Maramir#13: (Angrily) This is stupid! I've been sitting in the same position for over a week and I still know I haven't done anything wrong! I don't deserve to be here!
Maramir: (Sternly) Well, maybe you should have thought of that before you pulled the fire alarm, eh?
Soldier of Maramir#13: (Irritably) Can't I at least walk around a bit?
Maramir: (Angrily) You want me to add another week for you, 'cus I'll do it! So help me Gondor, I'll do it!
(Soldier of Maramir#13 turns back to the wall, mumbling angrily. Rolling his eyes, Maramir looks at the two hobbits, who don't really know what to say about this. Maramir leads them into another area of the cave, which is empty at this point)
Maramir: (In a boastful voice) So, what do you two think about my men? (Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee look at one another awkwardly-what else is there to say?)
Lizzo Baggins: (Clears her throat and gives a small smile) It's nice.
Maramir: (His face falling slightly) But.?
Lizzo Baggins: (Scratching the back of her neck nervously) But.given the circumstances-and I'm not saying anything bad about your techniques! But, wouldn't you expect-I mean to say, in a practical tone.I mean to say-Oh, dear.
Maramir: (Getting the idea and nodding slowly) Ah.you believe the Men to be frail?
Lizzo Baggins: (Quickly) Well-not necessarily! What I mean is-!
Maramir: (Irritably) I think I know what you mean, little one! Many believe the same as well; that's why we don't have a bunch of visitors roaming our forests! You judge the strength of my Men-before you can even get to know them! Well, let me tell you something, little one: these are not some peasants that lumber out of Gondor in a drunken stupor! The race of Man is under much prejudice, but I assure you that the Men of Maramir are not apt to such judgments! Mark my words, little one, the moment danger is a foot in this world, the Men of Maramir are willing to stand up and defend it! These are the most seasoned fighters you could ever lay your eyes on! Oh sure, we may stress the points of platonic love for unionization-and our disciplinary tactics are not as hard nosed as some-but I assure you, little one, you're never going to find a group of civilized fighters anywhere in the Land of Gondor!
(Over the intercom, we hear Nichola give a bulletin)
Nichola: (In a serious tone) Uh-attention, Men of Maramir-if you proceed to the back of the fortress, the water fight has now begun. Thank you.
(At that moment, swarms of Soldiers of Maramir pour into the room, each coming from different directions, and heading towards the outside of the fortress-each one of them is clad in swimming trunks and they are all hooting and hollering dumbly. Amidst the crowd, we see Maramir speaking to Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee)
Maramir: (Shrugging) Well-somewhat civilized at times.
Soldier of Maramir#14: (We don't see him, but he's shouting from within the group) Hey, everybody! I'm takin' off my drawers!
Soldier of Maramir#15: (Cheerfully) Yeah! We're going streaking! Streaking party!
Maramir: (Seriously) Now, no more streaking parties, guys! The last one you had got way out of control! Lizzo Baggins: (In a forlorn tone to Kram Gamgee) Too bad Rippin isn't here- she loves streaking parties!
(Suddenly, we go back to the Fangorn Forest, where Big Nuts is lumbering through the forest. Then, we focus upon Rippin Took & Jessie Brandybuck, who are simply sitting upon the limbs of their new Ent companion. Suddenly, Rippin Took's head snaps up and her eyes go wide)
Rippin Took: (Cheerfully) I wanna go streaking!
(Jessie Brandybuck stares in amazement at Rippin Took-she obviously had not expected her friend to say something as stupid as that. Even Big Nuts looks up in puzzlement)
Jessie Brandybuck: (Her brow furrowed, and straightening her glasses) Uh- where did that come from?
Rippin Took: (Slowly) I-don't-know!
(We go back to Maramir's fortress, and we see the last Soldiers of Maramir head out to the water fight, leaving Maramir, Lizzo Baggins, & Kram Gamgee alone once again. Becoming strangely serious, Maramir indicates for the hobbits to sit down, which they do)
Maramir: (In a serious tone to the hobbits) Now that there aren't so many eavesdropping ears about, I think it is time we get to know the two strangers sitting before me. (He places his hands upon his hips and raises an eyebrow at the two) My men tell me that you are Orc spies.
Kram Gamgee: (Shocked, and speaking angrily) Orc spies? Now wait just a minute! I can assure you, good sir, that we are not as foul as Orc spies! For you to give us such a title is quite ludicrous!
Lizzo Baggins: (Nodding in encouragement) You tell him, Kram!
Kram Gamgee: (In a practical tone) I mean, we could be anyone's spies, and yet you automatically assume that we are foul Orcs! Do we look like Orcs?
Maramir: (Suspiciously) Well, we are doing battle with the Orcs.
Kram Gamgee: (Angrily) Still, that doesn't mean that we're Orc spies! You don't really know who your allies are during this war! For all you know, we could be-Elf spies-Dwarf spies-or even Men spies! Treason is going around, after all.
Lizzo Baggins: (Laughing uncomfortably) Heh, heh! Kram, I think you're missing the major point in that we're (In a very angry tone) not anyone's spies! Maramir: (Curiously) Well, if you are not spies, then who are you?
(Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee look at one another awkwardly-do they really want to give away that information? But Maramir is not going to let it slide by)
Maramir: (Firmly) Speak!
(Lizzo Baggins nods to Kram Gamgee, and they turn towards Maramir)
Lizzo Baggins: (Very carefully, so as not to give away too much) We are hobbits of the Shire. Lizzo Baggins is my name-and this is my best friend, Kram Gamgee. (Indicates Kram Gamgee)
Kram Gamgee: (Waving awkwardly) Hey.
Maramir: (In a joking tone) Bodyguard?
Kram Gamgee: (Indignantly) No! Her gardener-and cook-and I also clip her toenails while she sleeps!
(Lizzo Baggins gives Kram Gamgee a wide-eyed stare. Kram Gamgee sees this and looks bewildered)
Kram Gamgee: (Wondering what the big deal is) What? They get long! And just because you've got hairy feet, it doesn't give you any excuse to let 'em grow like that! That's just nasty!
Maramir: (Deciding to ignore this statement) What are you doing upon the forbidden grounds of my fortress?
Lizzo Baggins: (Quickly) We took a wrong turn from our original destination- we didn't think anything was wrong until you attacked us! (Deciding to reveal more to put Maramir somewhat at ease) We were traveling with seven other companions, but we got separated-(Sadly) one of them we lost in Moria. Two were of my kin; one was an Elf, the other a Dwarf. Two Men accompanied us: Jimagorn, son of Jimathorn; and Mikomir of Gondor.
(At this, Maramir's eyes go rather wide in shock. Lizzo Baggins immediately stops talking, wondering if she has said too much)
Maramir: (Slowly) You-knew Mikomir?
Lizzo Baggins: (Keeping her tone blank, deciding not to let the other decipher any signs of fear) We knew each other well. (Raising an eyebrow at the other) Why? Why do you care?
Maramir: (His eyes narrowing) He was my brother.
Kram Gamgee: (Angrily) Oh, he was, was he? (Getting to her feet angrily) Well, let me tell you something, Mister Maramir, you're brother was no saint!
Lizzo Baggins: (Quickly) Kram-!
Kram Gamgee: (Angrily) No, Miss Lizz! I'm not going to stand here, and hear all these great tales about this guy's brother! (To Maramir) Your brother has a lot of nerve, by the way! Just because he's a great official from Gondor, it doesn't mean he can prance around, acting like he's king of the world! Picking on Miss Lizzo like that, it's quite ridiculous! You may think that your brother is some great guy, but to me, he's nothing but a great git! If you ask me anything, I think your brother should go-jump in a hole or something!
(Kram Gamgee breathes in and out in anger-but Maramir simply stands there, looking very calm; but you can tell that he is desperately trying to keep his anger in check)
Maramir: (Giving a small, ironic smile) My brother's dead.
(Lizzo Baggins' mouth drops open in shock-she obviously had not expected that. Kram Gamgee is rather shocked too-but she merely stands there, blinking slowly at a very calm Maramir. Kram Gamgee looks rather awkward)
Kram Gamgee: (In a small tone) Well-this is awkward.
Lizzo Baggins: (Overcome with shock) What? Mikomir-dead? I don't understand! I-How? When?
Maramir: (In a smooth voice) I was hoping that maybe you could tell me?
(Lizzo Baggins' eyes remain wide as she realizes that she is being accused of murder. Kram Gamgee finally sits down and looks from Maramir to Lizzo Baggins)
Kram Gamgee: (In a small tone) No wait-I take my previous statement back; this is awkward.
Lizzo Baggins: (With a small laugh to Maramir) You cannot possibly be accusing me of murder! (Seriously) I didn't kill him! I didn't!
Kram Gamgee: (Interjecting peacefully) Okay, let's hold up a minute! (To Maramir) What makes you believe that your brother is even dead? He may have gotten lost or-!
Maramir: (Sadly) Oh, he is dead-I found it out the hard way. I was fishing in my favorite water hole. (We experience a flashback of Maramir's, where he is sitting on the shore of a lake, casting a line out to the center of the lake to catch some fish- to no avail)
Voice of Maramir: .but the fish were not biting as much that day, and my line was rather short.
(The past Maramir stands up angrily)
Maramir: Darn! This would be so much easier if I could have my boat with me! But no! The Men of Maramir don't want to lug a huge boat with them for ten miles! Gees! (Shakes his head irritably) Lazy bums. (Looks out towards the lake and his face brightens as he sees something) Wait a second! What's that?
(We see a boat float onto the lake's smooth surface-it is the boat from Fellowship of the Movie that the remaining three members of the company used to send Mikomir down the water fall. But Maramir doesn't know this, and sees a perfect opportunity)
Maramir: (Stepping into the lake and wading towards the boat) Yes! A boat! It looks a bit battered, but I can patch that up in no time! (As he approaches the boat) Well, talk about your good lu-(Looks into the boat and sees the dead Mikomir, shouts out, and falls back into the lake) AH! DEAD BODY!
(We go back to the present-day Maramir, where he looks very grim as he relives the event in his mind)
Maramir: (Sadly) Once I had overcome my first initial shock, another encompassed me: lying within the boat was the dead body of my brother.
Kram Gamgee: (She clicks her tongue in discomfort) Well-I guess that answers my question.
Lizzo Baggins: (Seriously) I'm telling you! I had no idea he was dead until now! I didn't kill him! What would make you think such a thing?
Maramir: (Evenly) From what your friend chooses to reveal, you had a good motive. Why should I believe you when you claim innocence?
Lizzo Baggins: (Irritably standing to her feet) Okay-look at me! I'm this tall! (Places her hand to where the top of her head is to indicate her short stature) I've got hairy feet and I hardly knew your brother! Sure he may have been a bit of git, but I'm not going to kill him for it! Plus, I wince at the smallest things and I get scared of the smallest things! Tell him, Kram!
Kram Gamgee: (To Maramir in a practical tone) She's a coward, all right, Maramir.
Lizzo Baggins: (Defensively) Besides, even if I wanted to kill your brother- which I didn't-I wouldn't have anything to kill him with!
(At that, Sting falls out from Lizzo Baggins' weapons' belt; it lands with a CLASH onto the ground. The three stare at the sword for a long time. Lizzo Baggins blinks awkwardly at the weapon)
Lizzo Baggins: (Angrily) Huh-where did that come from?
(With a brisk movement, Maramir picks up Sting, examining it)
Maramir: (Practically) It's very light, (Tosses it from one hand to the other) maneuverable-
(Maramir makes a plunging motion with the sword, barely missing Lizzo Baggins' head. The blade rests just inches from Lizzo Baggins. The hobbit fights to stay calm. Kram Gamgee glares at Maramir)
Maramir: (Smoothly) .to a person of your height. (Looks at the weapon carefully) But it is not the weapon that took my brother. (Tosses Sting to the ground near his feet) Arrows took my brother's life, not the blade from a sword.
(The two hobbits look at one another in discomfort-whatever hopes they had of being on good terms with Maramir seem to be sliding away fast. Maramir shakes his head to pull himself out of his gaze)
Maramir: (Simply) But enough of these grim memories-I have another question for you two. (Leans near to the two hobbits) What happened with the other companion you were traveling with? You know, the foul one?
Kram Gamgee: (After thinking about it for a while) Uh-Rippin was one of those hobbits who got separated from us.
Maramir: (Irritably) No! I mean the gangly, mangy looking creature! The one that kind of looked like Gandhi?
Kram Gamgee: (Nodding in understanding) Oh! You mean-!
Lizzo Baggins: (Interrupting quickly) No one.
(Shocked, Kram Gamgee looks at Lizzo Baggins, who is giving her friend a piercing stare to go along with it)
Lizzo Baggins: (Firmly) There was no one else-(To Maramir) just the two of us.
(Maramir looks very skeptical about this, but he doesn't say anything. Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee sits there, looking very apprehensive about this situation. Lizzo Baggins seems more worried than the other; it was her decision not reveal the identity of Jenolum, and if Maramir catches them in the lie-he may catch them in the bigger lie that Lizzo Baggins has to keep. Finally, Maramir nods slowly in understanding)
Maramir: (Slowly) Right-if that is all, then.(Shouts out in a cheery tone) All right! Guards, lock them in the cell!
(Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee gasp in shock as Soldiers of Maramir#16&17 grasp the hobbits by their shoulders and begin to drag them towards the cell)
Lizzo Baggins: (In a frightened tone) What's all this?
Maramir: (With a laugh) You two have trespassed upon the Land of Maramir! I cannot just let you go!
Kram Gamgee: (Angrily) If we're intruders, why did you show us around your fortress, you ninny?
Maramir: (As if this is obvious) I wanted to show you a bit of hospitality before I imprisoned you! I didn't want to be rude!
Kram Gamgee: (As she is dragged away, yelling) Oh, and this is supposed to be a freakin' birthday party or something?
(Both hobbits are drug away from the are, leaving Maramir alone with his thoughts)
