Scene Twenty

(It is evening at the Fortress of Maramir, and we see the captain sitting outside and gazing into the night. So much has happened that day, and so much has been revealed-or unrevealed. Then, we see that he has his brother's horn lying on his lap. Then, we experience a flashback of Maramir's: we see Mikomir upon a great building in Osgiliath, placing a large banner upon it. Mikomir speaks to a large crowd of citizens and soldiers gathered below)

Mikomir: (In a great, prideful voice) Today, the Men of Gondor proclaim victory! We celebrate for the good of Middle-Earth! I proclaim Osgiliath- upon the fists and strengths of Gondor-one of the strongest cities of Man! It's foundations are strong-and its people are just as strong! Now, I am not so good with great speeches, so I will end my speech right now with this: I like some of you, but hate the rest of you!

(There is a great cheer heard below, and we see Citizen of Osgiliath#1 look at Citizen of Osgiliath#2)

Citizen of Osgiliath#1: (Clapping) That was beautiful.

Citizen of Osgiliath#2: (With a great smile) Yep-that Mikomir sure does know how to win over a crowd! (Shouting at Mikomir) YOU THE MAN, MIKOMIR! YOU SO THE MAN!

(Mikomir climbs down the stairs of his building and meets up with his brother, Maramir, who looks overjoyed to see him. The clasp hands in greeting)

Maramir: (Smiling at his brother) Great speech, Mikomir! How long did it take you to write it?

Mikomir: (Thinking about it for a while) A long while-you'd be surprised how hard plagiarism is! But enough of this! Let's stop with the speaking and get to the drinking!

(Many of the soldiers gathered around the two let up a great shout of glee)

Maramir: (In a happy tone) YEAH! DRINKING!

(Mikomir retrieves two cups filled with ale and hands one to his brother. The two toast with a great smile etched upon their faces)

Mikomir: (Happily) Today-is a good day.

(Both the brothers make to quaff their drinks, only to stop when they hear Menethor-the Steward of Gondor-approach)

Menethor: (In a happy tone) Mikomir! Mikomir! Over here, Mikomir! Come, will you not say hello to your own father?

Maramir: (In a bitter, low tone) Well, it was a good day.

Mikomir: (Shushing his brother) Try and act surprised, Maramir! It's our father, after all! Don't start anything!

Maramir: (Angrily) I never start anything! He starts everything! Do I ever say anything? No!

Mikomir: (Desperately) Oh, come on, Maramir! He's here on a happier note! He's just going to give us his praise!

Maramir: (With a sarcastic laugh) You mean give you his praise! He doesn't care a lick about me! He hates me!

Mikomir: (Furrowing his brow at this) What? What a ridiculous thing to say! Father doesn't hate you!

Maramir: (Irritably) Yes he does! He went to your graduation from high school! He didn't even pretend to act like he had other plans at mine! He just sent one of the stable boys in his place! You know how awkward it is getting your picture taken with some guy who smells like horses who's got his arm wrapped around you? I'm telling you, Mikomir! He hates me!

Mikomir: (In a very irritable voice) Maramir, just go talk to him! I'm sure there's no harm in that!

Maramir: (Dropping his voice as he walks with his brother) No! No! I'm not going to talk to that man! He's not going to-(Laughs as the two turn a corner and meet up with Menethor) Hey! Dad!

Mikomir: (Warmly to his father) Father! So nice to see you here!

Menethor: (Kindly to Mikomir) You think I would miss something as important as this, Mikomir? This is truly an amazing feat! I may have had important business to attend to in Gondor-that worker's strike is quite hectic-but I told them, "Save it for later, my friends! For I have my own business to attend to with my favorite son!" (With a careless wave at Maramir) And I thought it'd be satisfactory to see him again-whatever his name is.

Maramir: (Furrowing his brow) Maramir, father! You know, your youngest son! It's nice to see you again, as well!

Mikomir: (To stop a fight from breaking out) Er-say, father! Osgiliath is a really nice place, isn't it? Have you been to the local restaurant? I hear they've got the best pitas in all Middle-Earth!

Menethor: (In a happy tone) But I highly doubt that they are as good as your battle techniques, Mikomir! You truly have made me proud! (Puts a hand on the other's shoulder)

Mikomir: (In an encouraging tone) Maramir helped as well! He manned the left wing of the city!

Menethor: (In a dry tone) Oh yes.because of his foolishness, the city could have fallen. Many lives were lost on his side, am I right?

Maramir: (Grinding his teeth) Many lives were lost on Mikomir's side as well!

Menethor: (Waving it aside casually) Yes, but your side was really messy! Which reminds me, you need to talk with your cleaning services!

Maramir: (Trying to keep his anger in check) I do not have a cleaning service, father! I do all the clean-up work by myself!

Menethor: (With an annoyed sigh) As I suspected-dirt poor, can hardly afford the house you live in, can you? Hanging about the Ilithid forests, wasting all your money on that damned army of yours! Quite disappointing, I must say.

(Menethor moves away, and Maramir stomps away, severely ill-tempered. Mikomir grabs his brother shoulder to try and make him stay, but Maramir merely shakes it off. Mikomir follows his father into a nearby, empty house)

Mikomir: (Sounding very annoyed with the situation) Why do you keep acting this hostile towards your own son? He loves you, father, yet you push him away as if he has disowned you!

Menethor: (Angrily) Has that little bugger disowned me?

Mikomir: (Irritably) No! What I was trying to say is that you're treating Maramir as if he were not your son but one of the stable boys! You're way too hard on him!

Menethor: (Shrugging) Your point being?

Mikomir: (Sighing in annoyance) I think what you want to say is that you're only hard on him because you care about him!

Menethor: (Looking confused) But-I don't care about him! I care about you, which reminds me: (Looks at Mikomir in a serious manner) I just got word from Noelrond of Rivendell, and he requests an audience member of Gondor. He will not tell me why, but he says that (Dropping his voice even lower) they have found the weapon of the enemy!

Mikomir: (His eyes widening) The Movie! They have found the Movie! (Rubbing his nose under his glasses) Great Gaspy! This could totally change the course of the future! When do you depart?

Menethor: (With a small laugh) I am not going to Rivendell! There's too much crap going on in Gondor as it is! I'm only sending the best man for the job-one right in the city!

Mikomir: (After pondering for a few minutes) Commander Derek?

Menethor: (Angrily) No! You, you ninny! You shall go in my place!

Mikomir: (Seriously, backing away from his father) No way, father! I'm not doing it! I already have things to do within Osgiliath! Rumor has it that there is a nasty leak in the main building-I'm not letting that sit!

Menethor: (Desperately) So, get a plumber to fix it while you are away! Come on, Mikomir! You have to do this! It is for the good of Gondor! Do this for me, Mikomir!

Mikomir: (Sighing) I don't know.let me think about if for a while.

Menethor: No! The Council of Noelrond requests an audience from Gondor by the end of this week.I probably should have stated that before.

(Sighing, Mikomir leaves the building, Menethor following close behind. Then, Maramir, who was listening in, rushes up to the two to make a compromise)

Maramir: (In a helping tone) If you do not wish to go, father, and Maramir is preoccupied, I will go instead!

Menethor: (With a dry laugh) You? Ha! I would so soon as cut off my right foot than to let you go on such an important mission!

Maramir: (Boldly) You were so quick as to trust Mikomir, yet you will not trust your youngest son?

Menethor: (Coldly) That is because I know he can get the job done; besides.there is no need to dispute because Mikomir is going anyways, right?

(We see Maramir look towards Mikomir with hopeful eyes-then we see Maramir watch Mikomir make his leave. With a pained expression, Maramir watches as Mikomir packs the horse and straps on his battle garb)

Mikomir: (In a hopefully cheery tone) You should be proud-you don't have to go.

Maramir: (Sadly) But you do! I can't believe you're going!

Mikomir: (Scowling) It's not like I want to! From what father chooses to tell me, the Council consists of some guy with a weird hair flip that likes to touch himself! (Shudders) Methinks there's going to be dark times ahead.dark times!

Maramir: (Sadly) Yes, but-I may never see you again!

(Mikomir mounts his horse, and looks down at Maramir, who looks severely broken hearted. Mikomir bends down and puts a reassuring hand upon the other's shoulder)

Mikomir: (With confidence) Do not fret, little brother-I will come back. The sons of the steward shall be joined again!

(And with that, Mikomir digs his heels into his horse, causing it to canter away from Maramir, who looks after him with worry etched upon his face)

Maramir: (As his brother goes away) Why do I have the strongest urge to ask him what kind of health insurance he has?

(We go back to the present day, where Maramir is looking at the distance, remembering slightly happier times. Suddenly, we see Nichola appear behind him)

Nichola: (In an excited tone) Captain Maramir! (When the other doesn't answer immediately) Captain Maramir?

Maramir: (Coming out of his gaze quickly) Hmm? (Notices Nichola) Oh- there's more chicken in the freezer.

Nichola: (Furrowing her brow) No! (Whispering in the other's ear with a smile upon her face) We've found the other one.

(Maramir nods the other off, and looks into the night-thinking about what to do. Finally, he comes up with an idea, one that causes a smile to come to his lips. Then, we see Lizzo Baggins & Kram Gamgee sleeping within their cell. Kram Gamgee is snoring, with her mouth open. Lizzo Baggins' face is screwed up in discomfort as she sleeps. Then, Maramir walks up to Lizzo Baggins, accompanied by Ristor & Finnegan; when they are right next to her, Lizzo Baggins wakes up. When she sees who it is, she sits up in curiosity)

Maramir: (Firmly to Lizzo Baggins) Come with me.

(We see Maramir leading Lizzo Baggins towards the Forbidden Pool-we hear the sound of the beautiful waterfall running into the pool. Maramir steps near the edge and looks at the waters; but Lizzo Baggins hangs back, vaguely aware that Ristor & Finnegan are nearby)

Maramir: (Looking back at Lizzo Baggins and speaking curtly) Down there..look down there.

Lizzo Baggins: (Her face screws up in a look of agitation) Oh no! Are you going to show me the pool and make me run laps or something? Listen, enough of the hospitality crap! It's bad enough I couldn't use a bathroom to do my business! You try peeing in a steel chamber pot and tell me how it feels!

Ristor: (Quickly) A steel chamber pot?

Lizzo Baggins: (Irritably) Yeah!

Finnegan: (Confused) But there are bathrooms off to the side of each cell!

Lizzo Baggins: (Angrily) Well, not in mine! I had to go in a chamber pot that looked like a water pitcher!

Ristor: (After a moment of awkward silence) Er-that was a water pitcher.

Lizzo Baggins: (Her eyes going wide) Oh no! I can only hope that Kram doesn't get-!

(Far off, we hear Kram Gamgee shout in disgust)

Kram Gamgee: (Disgusted) OH GOOD GOD!

(Deciding to ignore this display, Maramir speaks firmly to Lizzo Baggins)

Maramir: Look down there, Lizzo Baggins! Look down there!

(Slowly, Lizzo Baggins walks to the edge and peers into the pool. The Forbidden Pool is quite beautiful-crystal clear with one large rock inside of it. A small waterfall tumbles into the pool. But there is something in there that is rather strange-a creature swimming about: Jenolum. She is looking for some fish, oblivious to the spectators watching. Lizzo Baggins looks quite shocked by this, and merely stares at Jenolum for a while)

Lizzo Baggins: (Awkwardly) Oh! Look at that! A strange creature swimming about the water!

Maramir: (In a simple tone) Yes-but it is an unwanted creature swimming the waters.

Lizzo Baggins: (Quickly) Still, there's really no need to shoot it! I'm pretty sure, it's going to GET OUT, any time soon! (Maramir turns to look at Ristor & Finnegan, while Lizzo Baggins begins to angrily mouth at Jenolum, "Get out! Get out of there now!" When Maramir looks back at Lizzo Baggins, the hobbit stops mouthing and gives a small, awkward smile at Maramir)

Maramir: (In a slow, simple tone) To enter the Forbidden Pool pays the penalty of death.

(Ristor & Finnegan look at one another with sudden nervousness)

Finnegan: (In a very quiet voice) Er-I guess we shouldn't tell him that we had our water fight in there, should we?

Ristor: (Quickly shaking his head) Uh-no.

(Silently, Maramir gives a small hand signal. Confused, Lizzo Baggins looks around and is horrified to find different Soldiers of Maramir hiding in the bushes, arrows drawn back and ready to fire right at an unaware Jenolum. We see Jenolum emerge from the water, a huge fish in her mouth and looking quite pleased. Maramir hides his smile-this is the real cunning part of his plan)

Maramir: (To Lizzo Baggins) They wait for my signal. Shall I shoot?

(Lizzo Baggins doesn't answer-she's obviously thinking very fast. We hear Jenolum start singing in the pool, and we see her begin maliciously knocking the fish against the rock)

Jenolum: (Singing "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road") When are you gonna come down? When are you going to land? Should have stayed on the farm-should have listened to my old man! (Begins to bang the fish upon a rock) You know you can't hold me forever! I didn't sign up for you! I'm not some present from your friends to open.

(Slowly, Maramir raises his index finger-once he drops it, the Men will shoot. But before he can even plan on doing such a thing, Lizzo Baggins speaks)

Lizzo Baggins: (Desperately) Wait!

(Maramir looks at Lizzo Baggins, hiding the glee that he feels inside at the triumph about to take place. Lizzo Baggins looks very apprehensive at this point; she wants to keep her secret-but she can't let Jenolum die)

Lizzo Baggins: (Looking deploringly at Maramir) Please! Don't hurt her! This creature is bound to me!

Ristor: (With a scowl) What the heck would make you want to be bound with that? (Points at Jenolum)

Lizzo Baggins: (An equally darker scowl) She's our guide! (Looks desperately back at Maramir) Please! Let me go down to her! Let me talk to her!

(Maramir looks rather suspicious about this-but in order for his plan to work, he has to risk it. We see Jenolum at the bottom of the pool, gnawing on her fish greedily upon the large rock. Then, from the shore nearby, we see Lizzo Baggins creep to the side and begin to quietly call to Jenolum)

Lizzo Baggins: (In a soft hiss) Jenéagol! Jenéagol! Come on, Jenéagol!

(Jenolum looks back at Lizzo Baggins and smiles)

Jenolum: (Cheerfully) Master is back! Master's back! Master-takes a look at what's we caught! (Holds up the dead fish, which is quite mangled)

Lizzo Baggins: (Holds back the gag reflex and eggs the creature on) That's great, Jenéagol! Now, come on! Let's get out of here!

Jenolum: (Looking rather suspicious and speaking slowly) Master says we must-go now?

Lizzo Baggins: (Desperately) Come on, Jenéagol! You must trust master! Come on out of there!

Jenolum: (Still looking suspicious) But-we's just got's here.why's would we want to-?

Lizzo Baggins: (Beginning to pat her knees as if talking to a stray dog) Come on, Jenéagol! Come on, girl! Come on! Come on out of there!

(Excited, Jenolum puts the fish in her mouth and sits like a panting dog)

Lizzo Baggins: (Resuming her "pooch talk") Come on, Jenéagol! If you come to me, I'll give you a doggy treat!

Jenolum: (Rather pleased) Ooh! The ones with cheese in them?

Lizzo Baggins: (Patting her knees) Would I supply any less? Come on, Jenéagol! Come on, girl! Come on girl!

(Cheerfully, Jenolum bounds to Lizzo Baggins, who resumes to talk to the creature as if it were a dog)

Lizzo Baggins: Good girl! That's a good girl! Really good girl!

(On all fours, Jenolum crawls onto the shore, and Lizzo Baggins backs away to give the creature room to run off. But something happens that neither intended upon happening. Immediately, Soldiers of Maramir#18-20 jump from concealment, and pounce on Jenolum. Frightened, Jenolum screams in her awful scream. Lizzo Baggins backs into the wall in shock)

Lizzo Baggins: (Shouting at the others) DON'T HURT HER!

Jenolum: (Poking her head from the crowd) MASTER! MAST-!

(Jenolum's words are drowned out as Soldier of Maramir#19 places a black hood over the creature's head. Soldiers of Maramir#18-20 drag Jenolum away, who is still screaming in anguish. Maramir appears from the bushes and looks towards Lizzo Baggins. Lizzo Baggins' face falls as she realizes that it was all a ploy. Drawing himself up, Maramir disappears with the rest of the soldiers, Ristor & Finnegan following behind. We are now in an empty area of the cave, where Soldiers of Maramir#18-20 push Jenolum from their grasp. Her hood has been removed, but she still screams hysterically. Nichola is up front, watching the scene with a wrinkled nose of disgust. Nichola looks behind her as Maramir, Ristor, & Finnegan make their appearance. Boldly, Maramir moves towards Jenolum, but the creature shrinks away from the strangers with a whimper. She then curls up and begins to whimper uncontrollably)

Maramir: (Sternly) Where are you leading them? (When Jenolum doesn't answer immediately) ANSWER ME!

(As we see Jenolum begin to weep in her curled up form, we hear her evil side begin to speak-sounding horribly comforting)

Jenolum: (Patting herself upon the shoulder) Jenéagol.poor Jenéagol. Why does it cry, Jenéagol? (In her miserable, weeping self) Master tricks us! Master makes Men be mean to us! (Her evil self comforting) There, there, Jenéagol! It's okay.(In her weeping tone) Thanks, dude! I knew I could count on you to make myself feel better.

(As Jenolum begins to talk in her split personality, Maramir, Nichola, Ristor, & Finnegan look at one another in discomfort)

Maramir: (In a very quiet tone) Er-what the hell is going on here?

Finnegan: (Slowly) She's got a split personality! (To Ristor) Ristor, run and get Johnson's pills! Those will help!

Nichola: (Angrily) You idiots! That's not going to help!

Finnegan: (Raising his eyebrows) Doesn't Johnson have schizophrenia?

Nichola: (Rolling her eyes in annoyance) No! Johnson doesn't have schizophrenia! He's got Down's syndrome!

(At that moment, we hear Johnson run through the room from behind the group, yelling hysterically. When it fades, we go back to Jenolum, who is talking in her evil tone again)

Jenolum: (Still patting her shoulder) There, there, Jenéagol! It's okay.though, I did warn you about her. (Desperately, trying to prove the other wrong) No! No! (Evilly) Yes! I told you she was tricksy-I told you she was false! (Weeping at the thought) Master is our friend! Master wouldn't do such a thing! (Evilly) Well, what do you think she just did; give you a lollipop and take you to the carnival? Face it, Jenéagol! The nasty hobbits tricked you! And they will do it again! (Weeping) No! You don't know what you're saying! Or-what I'm saying! Or-(Evilly) See, you don't even know who you are anymore! But I'm still here! I can tell you who you are! Come back, Jenéagol! Let me be in your life again! (Crying) NO! We's told you to go away! We's don't need you! Master takes care of us! (Evilly) Has she taken care of you so far? Look at what she's done! She's tricked you-she will do it again! (Weeping) No! No! It's.not.true.

(Angrily, Jenolum uncurls herself and bangs her fist against the stone of the cave-she's back at her original self)

Jenolum: (In an angry hiss) Filthy little hobbits! They's stolen it from us!

Maramir: (Raising his eyebrow) What did they steal?

Jenolum: (Saying it slowly, gathering more anger as she looks at Maramir) My.PRECIOUSSSSSS!

(Jenolum gives a hiss to be frightening-but nothing happens. The group of spectators just stands there, watching the creature with unimpressed stares. Jenolum's face falls as she realizes what's happened)

Jenolum: (Concerned) Not scary enough?

Ristor: (Quickly) No! It was scary-but I think you paid too much attention on the hiss. You didn't really work your face into that look of ugly anger, you know.

Nichola: (Adding in) Also, you delivered it too early! You might want to wait a few seconds after you say, "your precious"-

Jenolum: (Quickly correcting) My precious.

Nichola: (Waving it aside) Whatever! Anyways, if you waited for a bit after you said your line, then it'd give more affect to us. It's still scary-but not much as it is creepy.

Jenolum: (Nodding) Okay-okay.(Screws up her face as she says it again) My.PRECIOUSSSSS!

(This time, Jenolum waits a few seconds before delivering her hiss. When she does, the group gives a gasp and cringes back)

Ristor: (In a truthful tone) Oh yeah! Scared the crap out of me!

Finnegan: (Nodding) Truly terrifying.

(We see Lizzo Baggins sitting against the wall, her face in her hands as she ponders at how miserable this situation. Kram Gamgee is pacing the area nervously)

Kram Gamgee: (Anxiously) Are you certain? Are you absolutely certain, Miss Lizzo?

Lizzo Baggins: (Miserably) Of course I'm certain, Kram! I saw her with my own two eyes! And once they talk to her, Jenéagol will give us away! (Sounding like everything is hopeless) Oh, this is awful!

Kram Gamgee: (Angrily) She'd better not reveal anything, Miss Lizzo! If she does, I'll pound her!

Lizzo Baggins: (Irritably) Don't blame Jenéagol for everything, Kram! Maramir's already not on very good terms with us ever since your remark about his deceased brother!

Kram Gamgee: (Angrily) Hey! I didn't even know he was dead! And I'm not going to act like he's some god or anything-he was a git! And besides, all I said was that his brother should go jump in a hole! I didn't say that he should lie down in a pine box, arms crossed, and spend the rest of eternity under ground!

Lizzo Baggins: (Shaking her head to calm her down somewhat) I suppose you're right, Kram. I shouldn't blame you.but-(Miserably) Oh, Kram! What're we going to do?

Kram Gamgee: (Looking about and speaking in a low tone) We've got to get out of here.Maramir's lot isn't a pleasant one, after all. (In a dark whisper) I think they peed in our water pitcher, Miss Lizzo! The nasty bastards!

(Lizzo Baggins looks off to the side awkwardly, but Kram Gamgee doesn't notice; she's too busy looking about for a way out)

Lizzo Baggins: (In a forlorn tone) It's no use, Kram! They've got tons of guards posted throughout the fortress! We'll never be able to get out without somebody seeing us!

Kram Gamgee: (An idea dawning to her suddenly) But you could.

Lizzo Baggins: (Scowling) What?

Kram Gamgee: (Kneeling and whispering very quietly to Lizzo Baggins) Use the Movie, Miss Lizzo! Push the play chip-disappear! They'll never see you!

Lizzo Baggins: (Her eyes go wide) Kram-what about you?

Kram Gamgee: (Shrugs) I'll get by on my good looks. (Seriously whispering again) But, Miss Lizzo, you've got to get out of here! Once Maramir finds out, who knows what he'll do to you! You've got to leave!

Lizzo Baggins: (Shaking her head as she hugs her knees in fright) No, Kram! I'm not doing that! You were right before, Kram! The Movie's trying to take me over-making me want to do things I don't want to do-say things I would never say-listen to music I would never listen to! (Her eyes fill with tears as she says it) I hate Barry Manilow, Kram! But I listen to him twenty-four, seven! (Shaking her head) If I play the Movie, he'll see me! He'll know where I am-and they'll find me! And once that happens, everything good will be lost!

Kram Gamgee: (In a determined voice) Miss Lizzo, I won't let anything like that happen to you!

Lizzo Baggins: (Sadly) I'm not worried about myself, Kram-I don't really care about what happens to me. If I don't die upon this mission, I could likely die from something else. But-it's for you that I can't play the Movie. If something happened to you-I couldn't bear it!

(Kram Gamgee stares at Lizzo Baggins in a concerned way. Kram Gamgee suddenly realizes how close she could be to losing the only friend she has really had. Before Kram Gamgee can reply, however, Maramir bursts into the cell-he is alone and looking triumphant. Lizzo Baggins stands to her feet quickly, ready to defend herself in any way possible. Kram Gamgee stands in front of Lizzo Baggins with a glare upon her face-Maramir's not going to get to Lizzo Baggins without going through her first. Maramir draws his sword, which slightly intimidates the weaponless hobbits, and moves towards the hobbits)

Maramir: (Silkily, sounding gleeful with each word) So-this is the answer to all the riddles!

Lizzo Baggins: (Backing against the wall, and deciding to play it dumb) Uh- like the one about the riddle and the writing desk, because I've already looked into that, and there's no answer for it! (Allows herself a small, discomforting laugh. Then she speaks desperately) Please don't kill me!

Maramir: (With a laugh) I'm not going to kill you! Not until I get what you so secretly carry-the lie and deception that you cover more heavily than your true identities.

Kram Gamgee: (Confused) But-didn't we tell you our identities?

Maramir: (Waving this aside with a wave of his hand) It's supposed to sound cool! Go with it! It's supposed to intimidate you! Now-(In a commanding voice as he brandishes the sword before Kram Gamgee) be intimidated!

Lizzo Baggins: (Eyes darting to the side simply) I don't know what you're-!

Maramir: (Angrily) Oh, spare me your half-truths, halfling!

Kram Gamgee: (Impressed) Nice!

Maramir: (With a quick nod) Thanks. (Back to Lizzo Baggins) Don't lie to me, Lizzo Baggins! Your gangly friend told me everything I need to know!

Lizzo Baggins: (Cursing the name like poison) Damn her! I knew I couldn't trust her! Now she's gone and blown our cover, and revealed everything about the Movie of Power!

Maramir: (Shocked) The Movie of Power?

Lizzo Baggins: (Irritably) Of course! What did you think it was?

Maramir: (Still shocked) She told us that one of you stole her ham sandwich!

(There is an awkward silence in which all the three stare at one another. Finally, Kram Gamgee speaks)

Kram Gamgee: (To Lizzo Baggins) Do you ever get tired of ruining great opportunities for us, Miss Lizzo?

Lizzo Baggins: (Angrily to the other) Oh, shut up! Besides-why did you have to go and steal Jenéagol's ham sandwich, anyways?

Kram Gamgee: (Defensively) Hey! We were eating nothing but lembas-and she wasn't going to eat it, either!

Maramir: (In a small voice as he inches closer to Lizzo Baggins, sword still drawn) The Movie of Power? Could it be true?

(Maramir uses the point of his sword to hook onto the chain around Lizzo Baggins' neck, which slowly draws the Movie of Power from its place of concealment under the hobbit's shirt. Lizzo Baggins looks petrified)

Lizzo Baggins: (In a loud squeak) That's very suggestive, buddy!

Maramir: (Staring at the Movie of Power as if blinded) At last! I have an army of epic proportions-(A small smile curling upon his lips) with the Movie of Power finally within my grasp.

(As Maramir stares at the Movie, as strange spell comes over Lizzo Baggins. Her eyes roll up into her head, which lolls side to side as if she is possessed. Kram Gamgee looks at her friend in concern, wondering if she should interfere or let it run its course. Suddenly, Lizzo Baggins' eyes snap open and she looks evilly at Maramir)

Lizzo Baggins: (Shouting evilly) NO!

(With that, Lizzo Baggins pulls the Movie of Power away from the point of the sword; she then goes to a corner in the cell, curls into a small ball, and rocks back and forth, trying to withdraw from the world. Maramir scowls at this)

Maramir: (Angrily) Oh, don't tell me that she's schizophrenic too!

Kram Gamgee: (Angrily to Maramir) Stop it! Leave her alone! (Desperately) You don't understand! She's gotta destroy it! That's where we're going- into Mordor, into the land of fire, rock, misery, death, and endless streams of boy-band music! That's why we've got a nutter leading us- because she's the only freakin' person that's got a freakin' clue as to where it is!

Lizzo Baggins: (In a small, far-off tone) Find a happy place! Find a happy place!

Kram Gamgee: (Desperately to Maramir) Please, will you not help her? Please! It's such a burden-and not just for her! She can be really freaky at times, and I can't take one more insanity breakdown!

(Kram Gamgee looks at Maramir-she looks at him as if expecting him to understand. But Maramir is overcome with the thought of power delivered by the legendary Movie. Then, we see Nichola dash into the cell, looking very frightened)

Nichola: (To Maramir) Captain Maramir! We just got a message! Osgiliath is under attack!

(Maramir nods to show that he's listened. He looks at Kram Gamgee-then the huddled up form of Lizzo Baggins. If he has any sympathy, he doesn't show it. Instead, he sheathes his sword as he speaks to Nichola)

Maramir: (Curtly) Pack everything up-we make to Gondor.

Kram Gamgee: (Shaking her head and correcting him slowly) No.no.no.you've got it kind of wrong. (Saying the word slowly, so he catches the syllables) Mor-dor. You've kind of got it-but instead of the "G", you've got to put a capital "M", and take out the "n" and replace it with the "r". Once you've done that, then-!

Maramir: (Angrily) I know I said Gondor! We're heading to Gondor-(Points to Lizzo Baggins) you're friend's going to be a real help.

Kram Gamgee: (Stands there with a blank expression upon her face) Well-you really suck! (Mumbling as she crosses her arms) And to think that I was going to give you a sympathy fruit basket!