Chapter 6
"Will she be ok?" Dawn asked Spike frantically. Xander had called her from the hospital telling her what happened to Buffy. She was the last one to arrive. She had hitched a ride with Giles. Everyone was worried about Buffy. Angel blamed Spike but none of them would let him say it.
"She'll be fine, lil bit. They are doing test on the baby right now." Spike said in assuring voice. Dawn hugged him. They sat down at in a chair as they waited for the doctor.
"How are you holding, William?" Giles asked in a serious tone. Spike looked up at him.
"My love is in there unconscious and I don't even my bit is all right. I'm silently screaming my head off," Spike answered. Giles patted his shoulder. He sat down next to him.
"You know this is all your fault," Angel said furiously. Spike looked down at the floor. He hated his poetic William but he was taking over feeling the guilt inside.
"I know," Spike murmured. He saw Giles's anger glare. Everyone had the same look. He felt like he was suddenly Spike. No one liked him.
"It is not his fault," Willow said strong. "He knew what he was doing. He knew Buffy was going to patrol no matter what he said or any of us of that matter. Plus, Buffy hadn't had a good fight for a while. He was letting her let out that bottled up fight."
"Why is everyone suddenly thinking of Spike as a saint?" Angel asked shocked and surprised.
"Because he cares for Buffy and the rest of us," Dawn answered. "I just wish that you would go away. You ruined this enough." Spike patted Dawn on the shoulder. Angel looked at Spike.
"Did you put a spell on them or something?" Angel asked. "These are not the same scooby gang I remember."
"Well things change, mate. Just like you changed. Every thing is bloody different," Spike said trying to control his anger. The poetic William ran and hid while the rough Spike was emerging ever so slowly.
"Mr. Giles," The doctor said walking into the waiting room. Everyone stood up. Spike walked over to him.
"How is she?" Spike asked.
"She's fine. She just woke up and she's been asking for you. The little tiger is strong I may say," The doctor informed. Spike followed the doctor to room 345, where Buffy was staying. Spike walked in slowly. Buffy had her eyes closed and the light in the room was low. Spike pulled up a chair next to her. He heard the both heart monitors going "Beep. Beep." He intertwined his fingers with hers. Buffy looked over at him and smiled.
"Hey you," Buffy said in a tired voice.
"How are you, feelin', love?" Spike asked. Buffy smiled and sighed.
"About ready to kick some vampire ass," Buffy answered. Spike smiled.
That's my slayer, Spike thought. Always ready to kick some ass.
"Well it seems that the bit is strong like its mum," Spike said with a smile. Buffy patted her stomach.
"That maybe be true but it's stubborn as its dad." Spike put on his fake hurt face.
"Hey love, how do you know it's not you?" They teased and fought each other until the nurse had told Spike to leave that he could come back in the morning. Spike reluctantly agreed to leave. He walked out. He noticed only Giles, Angel, and Dawn were left. Dawn had her head on Giles's shoulder sleeping. Giles was dosing and Angel was standing at the window staring out. His mind lost in thought. Spike knew Angel was crucial to this fight. If Angel was going to stick around then they needed to make an amends.
"Do you ever wonder why we survive as long as we have?" Angel asked in a distant voice. "The life we have chosen. The loves we have. We hate each other but we have so much in common. We should be the greatest of friends but we are the worst of enemies. We fought on the same side and yet we don't get along." Spike stared at him blankly.
"What are you rambling about? You are making as much sense as Dru did when she got the life sucked out of her," Spike said confused. Angel looked over at him.
"You are going to be a father, William. Just like am I. I loved Buffy and you love Buffy. We are living the same life and yet we fight with each other like our lives depended on it." Angel looked back out the window. "Do you know what it is like to lose a son?"
"No, can't say I have, but I know what it is like to lose a love."
"The pain of losing your child is painful. I lost Conner a few months ago. Cordy fell into coma and Wesley and Fred got married. I'm left alone just like I was when I got my soul back. I hate to say this I felt a slight relief when I heard you turn human. I finally knew I had someone to consulate with but I reminded my self that…"
"Look, Peaches. Cut the long speech. If you are going on about us becoming friends then I'm bloody well up to it. Buffy won't listen to just me. If you are out there fighting I know she will stop and take care of herself and the bit. We all know this is very well needed." Angel looked back at him.
"You really love her don't you?" Spike shrugged and looked out the window. The night was darker then it was usual. The rain could be seen on the window and heard as it hit the roof. He sighed knowing the weather was going to horrible for the next few days.
"I've been in love with her since the moment I laid eyes on her," Spike said absently. Angel smiled and looked down.
"I hate to say this and I can't believe I'm about to say this but I'm glad she has found a guy like you. I couldn't stand it if you were still a vampire." Spike looked over at him.
"She was in love with me when I was a vampire. I don't think it would make a bloody difference if I was human or not. I think all it mattered was the fact I was good enough for her, but…" Spike looked back out the window.
"But what?" Angel stared as Spike's face became unreadable and he got this sorrow vibe from him.
"I sometimes wonder if I am good enough for her. All the things I have done. The people I have killed. I'm a hundred and thirty years old and I have killed so many people including two slayers. I don't know if I deserve such happiness. I don't if I deserve her or the bit or nid bit for that matter. I don't think I deserve the slayerettes friends like this." Angel stared stunned as he saw Spike's eyes well with tears.
"I still can see the way I killed them. The bodies lay there lifeless. I still can hear their screams in my dreams. One of the actually tried to kill me in my sleep but Buffy had to help me kill him. I don't think I can bare it if I became the monster I once was. I don't think I can let Buffy go through the pain."
The first time ever. Angel actually saw the love for Buffy and the soft side of Spike. The William part of him. He was sorry for what he had done and, in a way, Angel felt responsible. If he hadn't sired Drusilla then Drusilla wouldn't have sired Spike. If Spike wasn't a vampire then he would never have met Buffy. In some way he was glad Spike had gained his humanity. He also realized as Spike's grand sire that he had to help Spike cop with killing he had done and he had to make sure he did fast before Buffy had the kid. In a way, Buffy was depending on him, not only to slay while she was in her final trimester but in her life. Help Spike get through what he had to. For the first time in months he actually felt needed.
Spike took Dawn home. The house felt empty. Dawn walked groggily into the house. Her eyes half close. It looked like she was sleep walking. He watched her walk up the stairs slowly. He was waiting for her to fall. He followed her after she was half way up. He didn't like being in the house while Buffy was at the hospital alone. The nurses made everyone go home. He would have stayed with her while Angel stayed with Dawn.
"Spike?" Dawn said snapping Spike out of his thoughts.
"Yeah, nid bit?" Spike said looking at her. Dawn looked at Spike half awake.
"Will Buffy and the baby be ok?" Spike put his arm around her.
"They will be fine, nid bit, now hope off to bed and get some sleep." Dawn walked into her room and closed her door. Spike walked into Buffy and his room and sat down on the bed. He saw Dawn's door still open. He got up and closed the door. The door opened again.
"I want it open, Spike. I want to make sure I can be by your side if you have nightmares."
"Dawn, don't worry I won't have any soddin nightmares. Now go to bed." Dawn stared at him for a minute knowing he was being a strong ass man he always had to be and then closed the door. Spike fell back on the bed and shut his eyes. He was exhausted and yet his body was wired. He couldn't sleep with out Buffy's body lying next to him.
