True colours by BekaJWP
Summary: 'Of course he didn't insult Lily Evans. He didn't need to. If he ever chose to reveal the truth, that- well that would do far more damage than any insult'
Pairing: LE/SS and LE/JP
Rating: PG-13
" I'm on the outside,
I'm looking in,
I can see through you,
See your true colours
Cause inside you're ugly,
You're ugly like me,
I can see through you,
See to the real you "
Outside by Staind
*****************************************************
Damn over-running Quidditch practises! Damn fool seekers! The wind had been strong this evening, and the bloody seeker had got blown into a tree- being the smallest player did have its disadvantages.
He took the steps to the bedrooms two at a time, green robe flying out behind him. On entering the room, he strode over to the far bed, throwing his broom into its customary place in the corner, and began pulling the practise robes off. On the first day, he had automatically headed for the corner bed. The fact that it was already occupied had bothered the person in it a lot more than Severus- especially when he hexed the boy. Not the best way to start off with your room-mate, but hey…
That boy had left over the summer though, with a few other Slytherin students. Rumours were flying round about an enigmatic leader who was promising the much-maligned Slytherin's a good future. And so, of course, he was being linked to every bad thing that happened in the wizarding world.
Severus wrinkled his lips in distaste, while opening his wardrobe. How typical of the Gryffindor publishing staff to find a Slytherin to blame for all of society's problems. There was no proof to link anything that was happening to this new guy, only the fact that he was interested in Slytherins.
He was shaken out of his thoughts by one more worrying at this exact moment…what was he going to wear? He scanned his eyes across the selection. Black…black….dark green….black. He grabbed the first pair of trousers in reach and grabbed a jumper, pulling his hair out from the high neck irritably. He was already late. Yanking shut the bed curtains with one hand, he grabbed the pile of potions books with the other and headed down to the dungeons.
**********
Lily was, predictably, already waiting, perched on a stool at the front examining perfectly manicured nails. Severus was suddenly very aware of the fact that his hair looked like…well, like he had been flying around in the wind for an hour.
"You're late"
Well he knew that, it was ten past already. He couldn't do potions in his Quidditch robes though.
"Yeah, Quidditch over-ran…Williams got blown into a tree. Might have been considered rude to leave her hanging there"
"Ever the gentleman. So have you got any ideas for this project?"
He put the small stack of books on the table.
"I've book-marked a few things that could be interesting…"
He took the seat next to her, as she slid the books over and opened the top one.
Lily flicked through the various books, her forehead furrowing slightly at the occasional part. Waiting expectantly, he looked at her. Without moving her head, her eyes met his.
"What?"
He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully, and decided it couldn't do any harm to just ask her.
"I was just wondering why you wanted to work with me. Potter must be pretty mad with you."
She smiled widely back at him.
"Even if I did tell you, you wouldn't believe me. You're a Slytherin and disinclined to trust people."
"And there's also the fact that you've lied to me already."
"That too."
She looked truly amused. Her eyes were lighting up, her hair was glowing in the dim light, and if he didn't stop thinking like a trashy romance novel he was going to have to kill himself.
"Well you could at least give the option of being able to believe you or not."
"Maybe you interest me. Maybe I think you're actually not bad-looking. Maybe I just wanted to work with someone I'd be sure of getting a good grade with."
"Maybe I just know too much."
"Maybe you just know too much."
He fought back a sigh. Why did she have to speak in riddles all the time? She was a Gryffindor, she wasn't supposed to play with people's minds like this. His mind like this. Before he could stop his mouth from speaking, he blurted out,
"Why do you insist on being so damn mysterious?"
"It's a girl thing Severus. Hard to get and all that?"
Okay, keep ignoring the fact she's pretending that she likes me. Concentrate on something safe.
"I didn't say you could call me Severus."
He said sulkily. Still smiling, she shot back
"That's why I'm doing it."
This could get annoying.
**************
Six weeks later, it was getting extremely annoying. She was wearing different clothes again. He saw her between the end of classes and before coming to work with him. And she was wearing different clothes. Which meant she was changing outfits just to taunt him. And, of course, she knew he knew, which made it all the more interesting and complicated. She was driving him insane, and pretty soon he was either going to have to kill her or kiss her.
Which was why what he was about to do was perfectly morally ethical. She was endangering her own health, so therefore he was doing this for her own good. Liar his brain supplied. Well he was possibly, very slightly, just maybe doing this out of his own curiosity- and the fact that they had made the serum in class had only made it easier.
As she stirred the current cauldron, he slipped the truth serum into the glass of Pumpkin juice she kept to soothe her throat after breathing the potion fumes. It was a milder (and more legal) version of Veritaserum, that dosage should give him about five minutes after she had taken it.
Stepping back from the curling steam, she reached for the half-empty glass with only a quick glance in his direction. There was something a bit off about her tonight…but he couldn't quite place his finger on it. Part of his brain smirked while the other half scolded. Well he could always ask her…But what to ask first? And quickly!
"Why were you late tonight?"
Oh gosh yes, that's what he'd been wondering about for the last six weeks!
"I was trying to find a clean top to match my underwear."
She muttered absent-mindedly, but he watched the realisation of what she had said flash across her features. So much for doing some last minute homework like she had claimed. She wheeled around on him, anger evident in her expression, but also…was that humour she was fighting? Nobody would find this funny, he was trying too hard to read something from everything she did.
"You…I'll kill you Severus Snape!!"
"Do you really want to kill me?"
"NO!"
She screeched back, looking even more furious at the admission. He smirked just slightly…which was a bad idea, Severus. He had to dodge around to the other side of the desk to avoid her hands as she tried to either throttle or slap him- he wasn't sure which and didn't particularly want to find out the hard way.
"Why are you working with me?"
"Because I fancy you idiot" she spat disgustedly.
He gaped at her. He had never imagined that maybe she was flirting because she actually liked him…why would she like him? Why?
"…You're smart, and funny, and cute, and you're the only person to ever see who I really am which makes you even smarter…"
He hadn't meant to ask that out-loud. He cut her off, feeling unfamiliar heat creep into his cheeks.
"But you're going out with Potter…why?"
To give her credit, she really fought not to answer, but this wasn't imperious- it couldn't be thrown off.
"Status"
She said simply. What? Puzzled, he looked at her and waited for her to continue.
"You won't understand. I knew you wouldn't! You don't care what anybody thinks of you, but some of us aren't that strong you know! I spent five years being little miss perfect, being nice to everyone, working hard. But I still got looked down upon. Mudblood. Even by the girls in my house, though not as bluntly as the Slytherin's….they look at me and they treat me like I'm inferior. I gave you all the real me, and it wasn't good enough. So the real me changed."
She was really angry again, nearly shouting the words that she couldn't stop.
"So I decided. If I want status, I have to marry someone with status. Even if I become a top working woman it wouldn't be the same. It's like a throw back to the middle-ages! So I made a list- I actually wrote it out- they had to be Gryffindor. They had to be pureblood, rich, good-looking and arrogant enough to cancel out any intelligence they might have. And guess who it came down to?"
She laughed bitterly, and glanced at her watch.
"Five minutes is up Severus."
He began to speak but realised he didn't know what to say.
"You may as well hear- there's more too. Not only will I be superior in this world, oh no. Marrying someone rich is the only way I can beat Petunia- because even if I am a freak, money is still the most important thing to her and if I'm richer than her, then I'm better. I'll get everyone back for what they've done to me at the same time. Sweet huh?"
They stared at each other in silence. Severus felt awkward. Whatever he had expected, it wasn't this. He took a quick swallow of his drink, making sure it wasn't Lily's first.
"So what do you think now Severus?"
"I don't know"
He answered quite honestly. A smile appeared on her lips that didn't reach her eyes, and a chill suddenly formed in his stomach. Did he mean to say he didn't know just then?
"Do you still think I'm gorgeous even if I am somewhat twisted?"
"It makes you more gorgeous to me."
Oh fuck.
She hadn't she hadn't she had oh merlin she had she'd been acting odd because she was waiting for him to drink, only he was more used to the fumes so it had become a waiting game that neither of them were aware of and he had just taken his truth serum like a classic idiot.
She was so good.
And then he laughed. More of a chuckle really….but he couldn't help it. They'd been playing each other identically. Something melted in her eyes, and she smiled almost against her will. But then opened her mouth to ask another question- and that he could not allow. So he did the one thing that he knew always shut him up, before he could lose his nerve. He closed the space between them in one swift pace, and he kissed her. She responded immediately, and locked her arms around his neck, even as his own arms slid around her waist.
~~ End Chapter Seven ~~
Longest chapter yet…hehe…confrontations are so much fun to write ^_^
Reviewers, reviewers, wherefore art thou reviewers?! I feel very abandoned *wipes a stray tear* If you're a writer you know how disheartening it is if you know people are reading but not reviewing, If you're not…erm…imagine if you got a new haircut and nobody said anything, I guess- you want a reaction! Is that everybody I've made feel guilty now? Oh good, now that's over with…
Kateri1- I was starting to feel it was dragging it out a bit myself. Got your answers now though ^-^ Thanks for reviewing- it's the people who come back and carry on reading who really make it worth writing.
SePHiroth- thanks…I think *looks confusedly at review*
Amandinka- I'm guessing you liked that bit? Always glad to amuse ^_~
