Author's Notes: Eee, sorry for getting this out so late. I was in New Jersey for a week. ^^; But I'm back now, so I get to spend all my time writing for this and other stuff. Well, maybe not all my time, but you know. A lot of it. n.n; So, yeah. Next chapter's out. Enjoy.

Regulations of Bad Humor

Chapter Two

By Firefly-chan

For the rest of the day, I didn't do much. Mainly we had to listen to the camp counselors go over several things about the camp and get our cabins settled in and organized. Kai, unfortunately, stuck close to me and the rest of our cabin group throughout the whole day. Ironically, he barely said more than two words to each of us at a time. You'd think since the guy was hanging around us most of the time, he'd at least try to strike up a conversation. But I guess that's Kai for you. Not like I minded, though. I'd rather not talk to the jackass at all.

I'm not saying that I'm afraid of the guy, 'cause I most certainly am not. So don't go spreading around rumors that Kai gets my panties in a bunch, or whatever shit you have in mind, all right? I think Kai likes to think he has this intimidating air about him, but it wasn't working very well for him. Okay, so maybe the rest of my cabin was terrified of him, but they were swayed easily. It was understandable for them, 'cause they probably didn't have to deal with people like Kai every day of their life, like I did.

Okay, so I've got a confession to make. You're the one who wanted to read this divine little tale, so shut up, sit down, and listen patiently. My confession is that, yeah. I'm not the most popular guy at my school. Only have a few friends. People I can trust, otherwise I'm not one you'd find socializing every damn minute of his life. I do pretty well in school—enough so my parents are proud enough of my grades. But the role I play in school?

Heh. The resident punching bag.

Ah, yes. The hours I spent after school, thrown up against a locker while the shit was being beat out of me. Yeah, I fought back. Never did any good considering the fact that there were always two holding me down while the other kicked my ass. Good times, good times. Rei says that if I would learn to keep my mouth shut—if I wasn't such a "smartass"—I wouldn't be in the position I usually am. It's not like I go looking for trouble—trouble stalks behind me. Always there. Right when I turn around.

Yep. Resident punching bag. That's me.

But at least I stood apart from the rest of the school. Sure, I may have gotten good grades. But that didn't mean that I was a glasses-wearing, quiet spoken kid who minded his own business. Nope, I minded in other people's business and got my ass checked because of it. Honor roll or not, I still stood next to trouble like it was someone I had known for a long, long time. Like one of those friends that you think you can trust, up until they stab you in the back, but you keep running back to them. That's kind of how I am with trouble.

Well, I always kept in mind that at least I only have two years left of school. This fall, I'll be starting my junior year. Juniors have POWER. A lot more than sophomores and freshmen. But not quite as much as the seniors, obviously. Rei always tells me that he worries I'll never even make it to my senior year graduation. Heh. He worries way too much.

The good thing about this camp, though, is that—so far—I haven't seen anyone who loved to square me up before beating my ass down into the pavement face first. But, you know, there were several people who liked to do that. So, being my luck and my guess, I'm going to say that at least one of those people is there. Now I just have to hope the person doesn't gang up on me with other people. Yeah, I'd actually like to be able to fight back for once. That'd be nice.

"—yson! TYSON!" I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard someone yelling my name, looking up from the magazine I held (but wasn't actually reading) and into annoyed amber eyes.

"What?" I asked, blinking up at Rei.

He snatched the magazine from my hands and flung it behind him. I blinked. Well, that was nice. Gee, thanks, Rei. I love it when you harass my magazines like that. Makes me wish someone would toss me around like that – pfft. Oh, but wait—people already have. Ah, the irony kills me…

Rei flicked me on the nose, and I pulled back, making a face of clear distaste. "They just called us for dinner, you idiot," Rei said, rolling his eyes at me. "And it's going to take us about five minutes to get to the cafeteria, so I suggest you hurry up."

"Keep your fucking clothes on, man," I grumbled, coming to a slow stand as I stretched my arms above my head.

I looked around the cabin, fully expecting to see Kai leering at me, but was surprised to see that only Rei and myself were the only ones remaining in the cabin. I shrugged it off, pleased that I wouldn't have to deal with the sad excuse for a camp counselor, pushing myself away from my bed.

With Rei happily leading the way, I left the cabin and entered the hot, sticky air of the outdoors. There were several people still exiting their own cabins, talking to each other in hushed whispers as if they had some kind of secret that needed to be kept for the sake of all mankind. Rei and me, on the other hand, walked in silence for a good couple minutes. And let me tell you, walking in that kind of heat was not fun. The bugs were horrible; every few seconds I had to swat at the damn things to keep them from buzzing in my ears.

"I'm bored," I said abruptly, almost tripping on an unseen rock.

Rei shot me an impatient look. "You're bored?" he repeated unblinkingly. "Tyson, we're going to dinner. What do you want to do? Play leap frog the whole way to the cafeteria?"

"Well, that's an idea!" I said brightly, looking up at him hopefully.

"…Forget it, Tyson," Rei muttered, eyeing me slowly, before looking back at the path in front of him.

I shrugged, sticking my tongue out at my black-haired friend. I continued walking in complete silence for a moment, before coming to a complete stop. I turned—the gravel cracking beneath me as I went—and cupped my hands of my mouth. I saw Rei looking questionably at me from the corner of my eye, but I ignored it. Without any further warning, I yelled, "FBI! EVERYBODY DOWN!"

Much to my disappointment, only two people hit the ground. The rest turned to stop and look at me. Y'know, one of those looks that scream, "What the FUCK are YOU doing?" I smiled at them innocently, raising my hand in a short wave. After a minute, they started back up towards the cafeteria. Rei was staring at me when I turned back to him, eyebrows raised impossibly high.

"What?" I snorted indignantly, brushing past him. "I told you I was bored."

* * *

Okay, I know I've complained about cafeteria food many times before. But camp food—oh, cafeteria food was a pleasant experience compared to THAT shit. I groaned and held a hand over my stomach, flinching as I looked over towards Rei. He seemed to be stomaching the awfulness of dinner just fine, but, uh, I was kind of having trouble.

"We're almost back to the cabin, Tyson," he said softly, pressing a hand to the small of my back and pushing me foreword.

"I wanna throw up," I moaned, gagging. "I can't believe they make us eat that."

Rei shrugged, but didn't bother with a reply. We walked in silence like we did only an hour ago when we were starting up for the cafeteria. Only, this time, I had no smart remarks or any ideas to keep me amused. At the moment, I was just trying to make it back to my cabin bed without running behind some bushes and vomiting my little heart out.

"What exactly are you two doing?"

… Oh, you've gotta be shitting me.

I groaned at the sound of the painfully familiar voice, clutching my aching stomach even tighter. Rei tensed beside me, before slowly turning around. I didn't even bother. It hurt to move anymore.

"He's sick," Rei said bluntly.

I peered over my shoulder to see Kai standing several feet from us, arms folded over his chest and frowning. Hey, you fucker, I'm trying to make it to the goddamned cabin here. Since when was that illegal? Or have you made up some insane rule in your insane rulebook? Stupid… little… blue-haired…. Smurf wannabe… guy. Argh.

Jeez, I need help on my insults.

"He's sick?" Kai repeated, just as blandly. "What's he sick from?"

Oh, gee. I dunno. Take a wild guess, Sherlock.

"Thefuckingcafeteriafood," I ground out, probably too fast and hard for him to understand.

Kai tilted his head slightly, but his lips twitched upwards. "Pardon?"

Asshole. He enjoys seeing me in pain.

"Nothing, sir," I tried again, digging my heel into the soft dirt beneath me and spinning around. "Just a stomach ache, is all."

"All right," Kai said, studying both of us silently for a second before brushing past us. "Then you'll know that after dinner, you head straight towards the showers. Not the cabin. And the showers are this way, kiddos."

… Ha. Ha. HA. Wow, he cracks me up. So much that I'd like to take a tree branch and crack his goddamned head up. Stupid smurf….

"Of course," I growled between gritted teeth, glaring at his retreating back. "We'll be right there, sir."

Rei flinched, raising a hand and patting me lightly on the back. I yanked from his grasp, shooting him a dark look, before stalking off unnecessarily slowly in the direction that Kai was going. Rei followed a few paces behind me; obviously wise enough to know not to disturb me when I'm pissed off.


After being to this wonderful place for only a day, I have come to the ruling conclusion that camp really, really sucks.

End chapter.

End note – My apologies for such a short chapter. ^^ The next one will be reasonably longer, so yeah. .;; Yep. Review and make a freshman happy. XDD I'm lame. e.e;;