It was true. My heart had decided that it liked Vincent. Suddenly, I had found myself staring at his prone body as he lay asleep, with all the fascination of a school-girl staring at their crush. Only until I was out of the room that my cheeks heated up as I realised what I had done.
What was it about him? I have to say that in AVALANCHE, I had never really taken the time out to know him. He usually kept to himself, with the exceptions of Aeris and Cid who occasionally managed to get him speaking more then one word at a time, although it still hadn't been easy. It had been over a week now, and his fever was showing no signs of breaking. He just seemed so attractive to me, and I kept on comparing him to Cloud, which probably wasn't the fairest thing to do for either of them, but he was handsome.
Even now, my face is flushing just thinking about him. It wouldn't surprise me if there was a neon sign above my head advertising the fact of how I felt now. I suppose it could have just been a sudden attraction, but… I didn't know. Pouring him another glass of water, I tiptoed down to his room and opened the door.
To my surprise, he is awake, although not exactly alert. He blinks at me for a few seconds before suddenly realising who I am. "Tifa," he says wearily, rubbing his eyes. "You shouldn't have looked after me. I am sorry to burden you like this,"
"Don't be ridiculous, you've been sick for over a week. I wouldn't have just left you in the inn to get sick there. Anyway, I brought you some water," Putting it down on the bedside table as always, hoping that my cheeks aren't flushing. "Why don't you have a shower or something to freshen yourself up? It might wake you up a bit,"
"Thank-you," he says simply. Just seeing the intensity of those crimson eyes makes me lose it.
"Vincent, I… I've been thinking about this while you've been asleep, and I… I-think-I-love-you," I blurt out; my last words so fast that I can barely understand them myself. Hopefully he won't understand them. I mean, if I barely could, what hope does he have?
Obviously better hope then me. He frowns suddenly. My heart sinks. I should have guessed. Lucrecia, how could I have forgotten? That woman that I saw in the waterfall, of course he wouldn't love me.
Who was I to even delude on the slight chance that he would?
"I cannot love you. There is no way that I could ever be your Cloud, Tifa, don't even try. I cannot love you,"
Those words, so final. I know my expression is giving away my emotions but I don't care. After all, he doesn't. "I'm sorry, don't worry about it," I manage to blurt out, although my mouth has probably already said too much. I must just be making it worse. Was it just a crush after all? Surely, you can't fall in love with somebody that fast. Forcing my face back into neutral lines, I nod. "Shower's through that door if you want it. And don't worry about what I said before. I'm sorry,"
Just before I leave the room, I hear him mutter four words, which make me flinch. "I wasn't planning to."
He has just come out of the shower, while I have been sitting at the table, chastising myself for letting him know how I felt when it was obviously going to be a fruitless cause. He refuses to look at me. "Are you hungry?" I ask desperately, anything to try and keep the usual atmosphere.
He totally ignores me. I never realised that ignoring could hurt so much, but it does. I repeat my question and he turns to me, something obvious in his eyes, although I can't be certain as to what it is. But still he remains silent, this time just staring at me with those cold scarlet eyes of his.
"Damn it!" I yell, causing him to blink, slightly surprised by my outburst. I have totally had it with him. "I'm just asking you a damn question! The least you could do is be civil to me! Okay, so you don't love me, fine. But that doesn't give you any right to be a stubborn jerk when I have been trying to help you for the last week or so when you've been ill! If you want to push everyone out of your life who makes an attempt to try and be nice to you, then why don't you just go and lock yourself back in that coffin that they found you in, or jump in the water with Aeris or something. Forget this; I don't care where in the name of Shiva you go. Just get out, Vincent. Get out of my house!"
I bury my head into my arms, resting on the table, so I don't know whether or not he has left until I hear footsteps and the door shut quietly. It isn't until then that I let the tears flow.
*~*
"Cloud?" My eyes light up as I see him standing in the doorway. "You're back!" He opens his arms to me and sweeps me into a hug. This is how a relationship should be. How could I ever doubt loving him?
"I don't know how long I'll be back for," He starts taking off his boots, leaving them by the front door before coming down to sit at the kitchen table. "The monster hasn't been slaughtered yet. More animals have been found dead, all around the chocobo farm. So if I go, it's because of that. I've missed you, though,"
I decide to not tell Cloud about the incident with Vincent, it would be better for him if he never knew. Ifrit, I wish I didn't know either. "I've missed you too. Are you hungry?"
"Never ask a man that question when you know the answer," he is smiling at me. "I'm famished,"
Not sure what the date is but for us down here yesterday it was Vincent's birthday ^^ so happy birthday for yesterday… :)
As always, thank-you for reviewing and I'll update soon! Probably not every day as much anymore because I'm back at school, but once a week if not more hopefully!
