The Detention Diaries II: All New Season

Episode 2: The One Where Sendoh is Normal

Shizuka Tendou arrived at a swanky-looking café, and there a haggard-looking Sendoh beckoned to her.

"This place is evil." She said, as she took her seat opposite him.

"Wow, that's a creative way of saying 'hi'!"

"Yeah, I know. So what's up?"

"Alright. Do you remember –" Sendoh paused as a waiter approached and served him his drink. "Oh, my god. MY COFFEE!" He exclaimed, and took a sip eagerly. He spluttered a little.

"Okay, I think this just made my hangover worse." He grimaced.

"I told you this place is evil."

"Yeah, you just didn't tell me their coffee tastes like chicken fart." And with that, he pushed the cursed cup away. "Okay, as I was saying. Are you looking for a job, Shizuka?"

"I don't know, Akira. I should probably use my certificate as toilet paper, I suppose?" Shizuka said this matter-of-factedly.

"Or not. Okay, so you are looking for a job," Sendoh assumed, and rightly. It was hard to get any straight, plain answer from Shizuka when she was in a bad mood. She spoke in riddles and sarcasm. "Do you remember Jin saying something about a new magazine?"

Jin had gone to Cambridge as well, to study Medical Sciences. When you're a minority group in a foreign institution, you tend to like, bond together. That's how Jin got acquainted with Sendoh.

"Oh, in his dad's press company?" Now Shizuka got interested. Jin's dad owned a huge media empire, and getting a job somewhere in that empire would probably guarantee a snug little pay.

"Yup. It's confirmed – they're launching a new magazine, and they're looking for staff. Journalists, photographers, et cetera. Jin said to meet him later tonight if you're interested."

"Akira," Shizuka began earnestly, "you are the coolest."

"Like, duh." Sendoh shrugged and subconsciously took another sip of the coffee before Shizuka could stop him. "Eurgh, I think I'm gonna be sick!"

* * *  * * *

At Jin's house

"So, uhh, what's the magazine like again?"

"The tabloid kind." answered Jin.

"Oh okay, the kind where I try to get a picture of celebrities picking their noses?"

"No – not really," Jin said thoughtfully. "I think it's more of the feminine kind."

Shizuka and Sendoh looked at each other knowingly, with an "oh" hanging on their lips.

"The kind where readers ask questions like, 'the nails on my right hand are longer than my left, what do I do?'" Asked Shizuka.

"OR," began Sendoh straight-faced, "'there is hair growing out of my palm, is this normal?'"

"Wow, that bad?" Shizuka looked at Sendoh, surprised.

Sendoh shrugged. "Well yeah, I read them sometimes."

Now Jin and Shizuka looked at each other with an "oh", then turned to look at Sendoh with eyebrows raised.

Sendoh frowned at their faces. "What, anything wrong with that?"

* * *  * * *

At the Bachelors' place (Mitsui & Miyagi's apartment)

Mitsui and Miyagi sat slumped on the couch in a daze. Both of them were still recovering from their respective hangovers. Mitsui was playing with the TV remote control, switching channels every 5 seconds.

"What time is it?" Miyagi asked.

"No clue." answered Mitsui.

"But isn't it my turn to play with the remote?"

"Okay, you know what? YOU flickering to a different channel every 5 seconds WON'T help our hangovers. It only makes it worse!" Mitsui yelled at the TV, and pressed a button on the remote.

"See? See what I mean?" Mitsui railed on, as the TV screen flickered. "Goddammit DON'T SWITCH!"

"Uhh, Mitsui, the TV is only switching channels because you are playing with the remote? Duh?"

Mitsui frowned a little and grumbled. "Fine, fine. I won't play with it anymore. Ok, this is it, okay? Let's watch this. THIS CHANNEL." He said, as he put the remote control down on the table. "Nothing else!"

* * *  * * *

"But it IS normal! I mean, why not?" Sendoh grumbled as he drove along the road.

Shizuka rolled her eyes. For the past half an hour, Sendoh had been trying to convince her that macho, MALE basketball players reading FEMALE magazines was NORMAL.

"Look, it is normal." Sendoh repeated again. "NORMAL."

Oh, god. How do I make him stop? Shizuka wondered.

"Okay!" She finally exclaimed, and nodded in agreement. "You know what? You have convinced me."

Sendoh blinked at her in disbelief. "Wow, really?"

"Yes!" She said, faking delight. "You have absolutely, totally convinced me! Men reading female magazines are," she paused, mustering a wide, pearly smile, "NORMAL!"

"Wow… that's great." Sendoh said softly.

"Yeah, wow! I feel like my mind is so… so open now, ya know?"

"That's fantastic…" Sendoh replied, nodding in appreciation.

"Yup, you are NORMAL!" Shizuka said, a smile still plastered to her face.

"YEAH RIGHT." Sendoh suddenly dropped his puppy-eyed look. "You still aren't convinced, are you! You think I'd fall for that? Look, it is n-o-r-m-a-l. Those magazines are interesting –"

Oh boy, oh boy!

* * *  * * *

Over at Mitsui's

"Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-laa, Po…"

"Okay Mitsui, tell me again – why did we just watch Barney and the Teletubbies back-to-back?"

Zzzz…

Miyagi turned to look at Mitsui. His head was lolling to one side, and he was clearly fast asleep.

Okay, great. I just watched two incredibly stupid shows for nothing. Miyagi thought sulkily to himself.

Grooowlll

It was then that Miyagi realised his hunger. He hadn't eaten all day. But he was too lazy to get off the couch to do anything. Oh, the despair…

Well, not really. He whipped out his mobile from his pocket and dialled Shizuka.

Hey, not bad. He grinned to himself. This could be some mobile advertisement. "Man dying of hunger and too weak to move – saved by a mobile!"

Miyagi: Hello, Shizuka?

Shizuka: Oh, hi! Miyagi!

Miyagi: Yea, actually, I'm at Mitsui's and I wanted to –

Shizuka: What? Oh, but that's terrible!

Miyagi: Okay, is this some voodoo thing? Because how did you guess I was hungry?

Shizuka: Oh my, are you alright now?

Miyagi: … Just get me dinner and I'll be fine.

Just then, there was some male voice in the background that Miyagi couldn't really hear, but he could hear Shizuka reply, "Oh, Miyagi just got into a car accident! I – I have to go now."

Miyagi raised an eyebrow. What?

Shizuka: Hi, Miyagi, are you there? Are you still alive?

Miyagi: Well, I hope so.

Shizuka: I'll be right over, okay! Right over! You hang in there!

And with that, she hung up.

* * *  * * *

20 minutes later

Ding Dong.

Miyagi sprang up in delight, ran toward the door and opened it.

"So!" He rubbed his hands in delight. "What did you get me?"

"Did I get you… what?" Shizuka frowned, and made her way into the flat.

"You know, food!"

"Oh, so that's what you called me for?"

"Yea, I'm starving here. Don't tell me – you didn't get food?" Miyagi exclaimed in horror as one hand flew to his mouth and the other to his stomach.

"No, I didn't, sorry," Shizuka said apologetically. "You're supposed to be dying in a car accident, and I didn't think food would be number one on your mind."

Miyagi stood transfixed.

"No food, no food…" He said in a daze.

Shizuka shrugged. "Thank god for your call, though. It saved me from listening to more of –" She grimaced as she recalled Sendoh's voice ('it is NORMAL. NORMAL!'), "whatever, long story."

"So, okay, let me get this straight. I somehow got involved in a near-fatal car accident while I was sitting on THIS couch –" Miyagi pointed to the couch, "watching Barney and the Teletubbies back-to-back."

Shizuka stared. "Barney and the Teletubbies? God, how old are you?"

"I'm 10. I love you, you love meee, we are one big famileeeee…" Wailed Miyagi. "That song is friggin' stuck in my head!"

"Ok, stop – don't make it stuck in mine too!"

* * *  * * *

"Look here, Sendoh. IT'S NOT NORMAL." Koshino repeated, exasperated.

Sendoh had just spent an hour trying to convince him that reading female magazines was acceptable in macho-basketball society (ie. Ryonan).

"Ok, you know what? Take a look at it." Sendoh answered firmly, and tossed Koshino a magazine, 'Her Life'.

Koshino stared at the cover. The captions 'MY BEST FRIEND STOLE MY BOYFRIEND – real life account' and 'COSMETICS OF SPRING – a quick guide to the Spring look!' stared back at him.

He stuck out a tongue in disgust and gave it back. "Girly stuff."

"No, no! You've not even gotten past the first page!"

"Alright, alright." Koshino mumbled, resigned.

"Turn to the Sex Q&A section – page 132, I think."

Koshino turned and read. "Ok this – this is EXACTLY what my one of my ex-girlfriends left me for." He pointed to one of the queries in horror at the uncanny similarity to one of his experiences.

"Wow, maybe she wrote in! Let me see that," Sendoh took the magazine. "My man falls asleep during love-making… WHAT?" Sendoh stared at Koshino, and continued reading. "WHAT?" He repeated, as he read about more of Koshino's, ahem, atrocities.

Koshino looked at him and shrugged helplessly.

"You see," Sendoh said shaking his head after reading, "if you had read this earlier, you two wouldn't have broken up."

"Yeah."

"And there are more tips here too. Judging from what I've read just now," Said Sendoh solemnly, as he flipped the thick magazine. "you'll need it. You can borrow this issue."

"Nah, I think I'll subscribe. You got a subscription form?"

* * *  * * *

The next day at the Bachelors' place

"I got the job!" Shizuka waved her fist triumphantly in the air.

She had just gone for the interview, and it went really well. Jin had just called her to inform her of her employment.

Mitsui and Miyagi gave her a hi-five each and cheered.

"You'd better prepare yourself for the working world, and prepare yourself good." Miyagi said.

"Yeah, you will not believe how much it sucks." Added Mitsui, nodding. "And what's in that huge plastic bag?"

"This?" Shizuka pointed to the one she was holding. "This is my little gift to you Mitsui. You know, some sort of a congratulations-to-me gift."

"Wow, doesn't seem little to me."

"Don't worry Mitchy, it must be something good. She gave me 2 cartons of cup noodles." Miyagi assured him with sarcasm.

"Well, it's practical." Shizuka shrugged.

"Too practical."

"Oh well, I'm off to Sakuragi's to deliver the good news." Said Shizuka, as she made her way out of the flat. "Enjoy your presents." She said, winking at Miyagi although he didn't know what that meant.

"Bye Santa!" Miyagi called, as she disappeared down the corridor. Mitsui had already began unwrapping his huge present.

A huge Barney soft-toy was revealed. On it was a little card that said 'I heard from Miyagi how much you loved Barney and insisted on watching it on TV. Well, here is your life-sized companion!'

Mitsui glared at Miyagi. "What?"

Miyagi laughed sheepishly. "Heh, uhh, I'll share my gift with you! Which flavour of noodles would you like?"

* * *  * * *

Author's note: Hope you all enjoyed this episode!

Blah: Wow, thanks!

angel: I hoped you've enjoyed the sequel thus far! As for pairings, there will be ;)

redrosekira: Thank you, thank you! I'll update as fast as possible : )

Chidero: Hehe, I prefer this style of writing too. Well, girls do grow up, I guess!

ayu: Sure, I'll keep you informed. Thanks for the support!

'chelle: here it is, sorry for the wait :)