Scene Twenty-Seven
(We now go to the Fangorn Forest, where Big Nuts is taking Jessie Brandybuck & Rippin Took towards the western borders of the forest, so they can travel home. Both of the hobbits are clad in cloaks and ready for travel)
Big Nuts: (In a friendly tone) I will take you to the western borders of the forest, and there you can make your way back home.(Angrily) and as far away from me as you can possibly get! Gees! Carrying you around all the time is really wearing down on my bark!
(Jessie Brandybuck simply nods, so distant at the moment that she doesn't care what really happens. She's so stone faced, apparently unhappy that the fight is really over. Rippin Took sits in apprehension, wondering if there is anything she can do. Then, it comes to her-an idea! It is very risky, but it's worth a shot)
Rippin Took: (To Big Nuts) Big Nuts, stop! (When the Ent doesn't stop immediately) Stop! (When the Ent still continues his pace) STOP!
(But Big Nuts appears to not have heard. Frustrated, Rippin Took climbs towards Big Nuts' head, plucks off a huge acorn, and plops it on the Ent's noggin. At that, Big Nuts stops dead, causing Jessie Brandybuck to shout out as she almost falls backwards, able to save herself by grasping upon some branches. Her glasses askew, Jessie Brandybuck looks at Big Nuts in shock. Rippin Took takes the opportunity to climb back down to her original perch)
Big Nuts: (In a very shaky voice) I can understand if you must call my name, or voice an obscenity, or even result in violence and kick my bark, (Very angrily) but when you fondle with my nuts to get my attention, I get rather agitated!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Laughing at this, and straightening her glasses) Hey, Rippin, you're right! That is kinda funny!
Rippin Took: (Seriously to the Ent) Sorry, Big Nuts, but.(Her idea coming back to her and speaking rapidly) turn around! Take us south!
(Big Nuts gasps in horror at the idea, and even Jessie Brandybuck looks at Rippin Took in sudden curiosity)
Big Nuts: (In a frightened tone) But-that would lead you to Isengard!
Rippin Took: (With a sly smile) Exactly!
Big Nuts: (In an offhand type of a voice) Er-you do know that Andraman, the very evil little booger, lives there, right?
Rippin Took: (Explaining logically) Yes, but if we go south, Andraman won't be expecting that! We'll slip right under his Orcs' noses and go unnoticed! For you see, the closer we are to danger, the further we are from harm. (In a quiet, contradicting tone) Or is it the other way around.?
Big Nuts: (After thinking about it for a while) That makes no sense to me.but, you are small.
Rippin Took: (In a rather awkward tone) So, if we were really tall and bearing the same information, you wouldn't listen to us?
Big Nuts: (Defensively) Damn straight! Why do you think I don't listen to my mother! Stupid, tall oak broad; can't tell me what to do! (Resuming his friendly tone) But if you wish to go south, then south it is!
(And with that, Big Nuts turns around abruptly, causing both of the hobbits to squeak in shock as they almost fall off, and begins to advance towards the south)
Big Nuts: (In a reminiscing type of voice) I always liked going south-it always feels like I'm going down hill.
Jessie Brandybuck: (Looking horrified at Rippin Took) Are you stupid or something?
Rippin Took: (Rolling her eyes at Jessie Brandybuck) If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times! Yes, I am stupid!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Rolling her eyes) Okay, allow me to rephrase that! (In the same horrified tone) Are you mad? We'll be caught!
Rippin Took: (In a sly, mischievous tone) No! Not this time!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Unconvinced at this) What makes you think that?
Rippin Took: (Quite sure of herself) I've thought of a plan!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Shocked) You-think? (Putting a hand to her forehead in agitation) We're all screwed!
(We now experience a great change in scene, as we see Maramir and his army heading towards Osgiliath; within the group, we see three familiar faces: Lizzo Baggins, Kram Gamgee, & Jenolum. All three look horribly frazzled, especially Lizzo Baggins, who almost looks dead on her feet. Jenolum has a rope around her neck and her hands are bound; she whimpers like some forlorn animal. Then, Nicola, who is up front with Maramir, looks towards the distance and sees something that makes her face go dreadfully pale)
Nicola: (In a horrified voice to Maramir) Maramir! Osgiliath burns!
(Maramir looks towards the distance, and we see the small city of Osgiliath issuing a big cloud of smoke from within it. We hear the army gasp in shock as the realize what is happening. Maramir looks at Nicola irritably)
Maramir: (In a flat voice) Don't you ever get tired of stating the obvious?
Nicola: (Defensively) Sometimes.
Maramir: (Proudly, puffing out his chest) No matter! We have the strength to save the city!
(Maramir casts a greedy smile over at Lizzo Baggins, who is walking distantly towards the city, Kram Gamgee a few steps behind her. Lizzo Baggins looks up at the burning city in the distance and her eyes lighten with fear and sadness-she understands what Maramir plans to do)
Lizzo Baggins: (In a distant voice as she stares at Osgiliath) The Movie will not save Gondor! (She looks at Maramir desperately) It is only meant to destroy! Why do you think they call it a Movie of Power, you ninny- because it causes little daisies to pop out of the earth and dance in the sun, or something?
Maramir: (In a defensive tone) And if I was-?
Lizzo Baggins: (Desperately) Let me go! If you truly value the lives of everybody in Gondor-the lives of everybody in Middle-Earth, for that matter- you will let me go!
(Lizzo Baggins looks so desperately at Maramir, that for one moment, everybody in the army begins to feel a bit of sympathy towards the hobbit- even Maramir. But he shakes away his empathy and speaks to Ristor, who is slightly behind him)
Maramir: (Sternly to Ristor) Take them down to the city-we need to make great haste.
(Ristor complies with no emotion upon his face, and Lizzo Baggins' eyes fill with tears of anguish at the situation. Finnegan bumps into a staring Kram Gamgee)
Finnegan: (In a stern voice to the hobbit) Get moving!
Kram Gamgee: (Coolly to Finnegan) Oh, calm down, you old fogy! Be nice to me or I'll tell Maramir about that little map I saw in your back pocket!
(We hear Lizzo Baggins hysterically shout at Maramir, and Kram Gamgee casts a worried glance at her friend)
Lizzo Baggins: (Hysterically, trying to break away from Ristor's grasp) MARAMIR! You must let me go!
(We go back to the Fangorn Forest, where Big Nuts is walking through the forest, with Jessie Brandybuck & Rippin Took still sitting upon his limbs)
Big Nuts: (In a giggly type of a voice) And those little squirrel would run all over me, tickling me all over, and then I-!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Whispering to Rippin Took irritably) He's been telling this story for five hours! I think I'm going crazy!
Rippin Took: (Whispering patiently to Jessie Brandybuck) Just wait for it.
Big Nuts: (Still talking in his giggling voice) They would always start running up and down my branches, their little paws pittering and pattering upon my bark, and I would want to.
(Big Nuts steps into a clearing, but lets out a horrified gasp and stops dead. The clearing he stepped in is not a clearing at all-but a place where many of the trees have been cut down or burnt to the ground. As the camera gets a good wave of the area, we see the Native American Ent standing there, overlooking the sad area. Then, the camera closes in on the Native American Ent's face as a single tear streams down his face. Then, we go back to Big Nuts, who is horribly stunned by this scene)
Big Nuts: (In a forlorn, sad tone) These were friends whom I had known throughout my entire life; through nut and acorn!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Giggling again) Is it me, or does this seem much funnier now?
Rippin Took: (With a small shrug and sympathetic tone) I'm sorry
(Big Nuts looks into the distance, and Rippin Took winks heartily at Jessie Brandybuck. In the distance, we see the forbidding tower at Isengard. Big Nuts is enraged)
Big Nuts: (His voice shaking with anger) Andraman! A wizard should know better!
Rippin Took: (With a small shrug) He should-but you said that you guys weren't going to fight, so.
Big Nuts: (Angrily) Well-if Andraman thinks like that, he does not know Big Nuts!
(With that, Big Nuts lets out a horrible, grinding roar that echoes throughout the land. Rippin Took & Jessie Brandybuck look at one another in curiosity and mild fear)
Big Nuts: (Angrily) It is time that somebody stand up to that no good, good- looking fool of a wizard! I'm going to kick his butt so badly; he's going to wish he were one of these dead trees!
(Suddenly, we see and hear the approach of many Ents from the forest. They emerge besides Big Nuts, take a look around, mumble darkly to one another, and make ready to follow Big Nuts. Jessie Brandybuck realizes what's happening, and allows her face to split into a great smile)
Jessie Brandybuck: (Maliciously) Yes!
Rippin Took: (In a nervous tone to her friend) Gees, Jessie! If I knew you were going to get this violent, I wouldn't hang around you so much!
Big Nuts: (Seriously) Now it is time that the Ents begin their last march! There is a good chance that we may all die-I mean, it isn't really that hard to kill us-but for the good of all things left in this world, it is essential that the Ents go to war! (Puts a finger in the air triumphantly) WE WILL DESTROY ISENGARD!
(All of the Ents cheer at this, and we suddenly see Big Nuts-his finger still in the air-turn around and head back towards the forest)
Big Nuts: (Shouting as an afterthought to the Ents) RIGHT AFTER LUNCH!
All of the Ents: (Shouting in unison) RIGHT AFTER LUNCH!
Big Nuts: (In a booming voice) And what shall we have for lunch?
Big Willy: Pizza!
Blonde Ent: Chinese!
Native American Ent: Tacos!
Big Nuts: (In a jovial tone) I've got an idea! Let's have an Entmoot about it!
All of the Ents: (Sounding enthused at the suggestion) YEAH! ANOTHER ENTMOOT!
(We hear Jessie Brandybuck give a sigh of frustration as the Ents make their way back into the Fangorn Forest)
(We now go to the Fangorn Forest, where Big Nuts is taking Jessie Brandybuck & Rippin Took towards the western borders of the forest, so they can travel home. Both of the hobbits are clad in cloaks and ready for travel)
Big Nuts: (In a friendly tone) I will take you to the western borders of the forest, and there you can make your way back home.(Angrily) and as far away from me as you can possibly get! Gees! Carrying you around all the time is really wearing down on my bark!
(Jessie Brandybuck simply nods, so distant at the moment that she doesn't care what really happens. She's so stone faced, apparently unhappy that the fight is really over. Rippin Took sits in apprehension, wondering if there is anything she can do. Then, it comes to her-an idea! It is very risky, but it's worth a shot)
Rippin Took: (To Big Nuts) Big Nuts, stop! (When the Ent doesn't stop immediately) Stop! (When the Ent still continues his pace) STOP!
(But Big Nuts appears to not have heard. Frustrated, Rippin Took climbs towards Big Nuts' head, plucks off a huge acorn, and plops it on the Ent's noggin. At that, Big Nuts stops dead, causing Jessie Brandybuck to shout out as she almost falls backwards, able to save herself by grasping upon some branches. Her glasses askew, Jessie Brandybuck looks at Big Nuts in shock. Rippin Took takes the opportunity to climb back down to her original perch)
Big Nuts: (In a very shaky voice) I can understand if you must call my name, or voice an obscenity, or even result in violence and kick my bark, (Very angrily) but when you fondle with my nuts to get my attention, I get rather agitated!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Laughing at this, and straightening her glasses) Hey, Rippin, you're right! That is kinda funny!
Rippin Took: (Seriously to the Ent) Sorry, Big Nuts, but.(Her idea coming back to her and speaking rapidly) turn around! Take us south!
(Big Nuts gasps in horror at the idea, and even Jessie Brandybuck looks at Rippin Took in sudden curiosity)
Big Nuts: (In a frightened tone) But-that would lead you to Isengard!
Rippin Took: (With a sly smile) Exactly!
Big Nuts: (In an offhand type of a voice) Er-you do know that Andraman, the very evil little booger, lives there, right?
Rippin Took: (Explaining logically) Yes, but if we go south, Andraman won't be expecting that! We'll slip right under his Orcs' noses and go unnoticed! For you see, the closer we are to danger, the further we are from harm. (In a quiet, contradicting tone) Or is it the other way around.?
Big Nuts: (After thinking about it for a while) That makes no sense to me.but, you are small.
Rippin Took: (In a rather awkward tone) So, if we were really tall and bearing the same information, you wouldn't listen to us?
Big Nuts: (Defensively) Damn straight! Why do you think I don't listen to my mother! Stupid, tall oak broad; can't tell me what to do! (Resuming his friendly tone) But if you wish to go south, then south it is!
(And with that, Big Nuts turns around abruptly, causing both of the hobbits to squeak in shock as they almost fall off, and begins to advance towards the south)
Big Nuts: (In a reminiscing type of voice) I always liked going south-it always feels like I'm going down hill.
Jessie Brandybuck: (Looking horrified at Rippin Took) Are you stupid or something?
Rippin Took: (Rolling her eyes at Jessie Brandybuck) If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times! Yes, I am stupid!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Rolling her eyes) Okay, allow me to rephrase that! (In the same horrified tone) Are you mad? We'll be caught!
Rippin Took: (In a sly, mischievous tone) No! Not this time!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Unconvinced at this) What makes you think that?
Rippin Took: (Quite sure of herself) I've thought of a plan!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Shocked) You-think? (Putting a hand to her forehead in agitation) We're all screwed!
(We now experience a great change in scene, as we see Maramir and his army heading towards Osgiliath; within the group, we see three familiar faces: Lizzo Baggins, Kram Gamgee, & Jenolum. All three look horribly frazzled, especially Lizzo Baggins, who almost looks dead on her feet. Jenolum has a rope around her neck and her hands are bound; she whimpers like some forlorn animal. Then, Nicola, who is up front with Maramir, looks towards the distance and sees something that makes her face go dreadfully pale)
Nicola: (In a horrified voice to Maramir) Maramir! Osgiliath burns!
(Maramir looks towards the distance, and we see the small city of Osgiliath issuing a big cloud of smoke from within it. We hear the army gasp in shock as the realize what is happening. Maramir looks at Nicola irritably)
Maramir: (In a flat voice) Don't you ever get tired of stating the obvious?
Nicola: (Defensively) Sometimes.
Maramir: (Proudly, puffing out his chest) No matter! We have the strength to save the city!
(Maramir casts a greedy smile over at Lizzo Baggins, who is walking distantly towards the city, Kram Gamgee a few steps behind her. Lizzo Baggins looks up at the burning city in the distance and her eyes lighten with fear and sadness-she understands what Maramir plans to do)
Lizzo Baggins: (In a distant voice as she stares at Osgiliath) The Movie will not save Gondor! (She looks at Maramir desperately) It is only meant to destroy! Why do you think they call it a Movie of Power, you ninny- because it causes little daisies to pop out of the earth and dance in the sun, or something?
Maramir: (In a defensive tone) And if I was-?
Lizzo Baggins: (Desperately) Let me go! If you truly value the lives of everybody in Gondor-the lives of everybody in Middle-Earth, for that matter- you will let me go!
(Lizzo Baggins looks so desperately at Maramir, that for one moment, everybody in the army begins to feel a bit of sympathy towards the hobbit- even Maramir. But he shakes away his empathy and speaks to Ristor, who is slightly behind him)
Maramir: (Sternly to Ristor) Take them down to the city-we need to make great haste.
(Ristor complies with no emotion upon his face, and Lizzo Baggins' eyes fill with tears of anguish at the situation. Finnegan bumps into a staring Kram Gamgee)
Finnegan: (In a stern voice to the hobbit) Get moving!
Kram Gamgee: (Coolly to Finnegan) Oh, calm down, you old fogy! Be nice to me or I'll tell Maramir about that little map I saw in your back pocket!
(We hear Lizzo Baggins hysterically shout at Maramir, and Kram Gamgee casts a worried glance at her friend)
Lizzo Baggins: (Hysterically, trying to break away from Ristor's grasp) MARAMIR! You must let me go!
(We go back to the Fangorn Forest, where Big Nuts is walking through the forest, with Jessie Brandybuck & Rippin Took still sitting upon his limbs)
Big Nuts: (In a giggly type of a voice) And those little squirrel would run all over me, tickling me all over, and then I-!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Whispering to Rippin Took irritably) He's been telling this story for five hours! I think I'm going crazy!
Rippin Took: (Whispering patiently to Jessie Brandybuck) Just wait for it.
Big Nuts: (Still talking in his giggling voice) They would always start running up and down my branches, their little paws pittering and pattering upon my bark, and I would want to.
(Big Nuts steps into a clearing, but lets out a horrified gasp and stops dead. The clearing he stepped in is not a clearing at all-but a place where many of the trees have been cut down or burnt to the ground. As the camera gets a good wave of the area, we see the Native American Ent standing there, overlooking the sad area. Then, the camera closes in on the Native American Ent's face as a single tear streams down his face. Then, we go back to Big Nuts, who is horribly stunned by this scene)
Big Nuts: (In a forlorn, sad tone) These were friends whom I had known throughout my entire life; through nut and acorn!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Giggling again) Is it me, or does this seem much funnier now?
Rippin Took: (With a small shrug and sympathetic tone) I'm sorry
(Big Nuts looks into the distance, and Rippin Took winks heartily at Jessie Brandybuck. In the distance, we see the forbidding tower at Isengard. Big Nuts is enraged)
Big Nuts: (His voice shaking with anger) Andraman! A wizard should know better!
Rippin Took: (With a small shrug) He should-but you said that you guys weren't going to fight, so.
Big Nuts: (Angrily) Well-if Andraman thinks like that, he does not know Big Nuts!
(With that, Big Nuts lets out a horrible, grinding roar that echoes throughout the land. Rippin Took & Jessie Brandybuck look at one another in curiosity and mild fear)
Big Nuts: (Angrily) It is time that somebody stand up to that no good, good- looking fool of a wizard! I'm going to kick his butt so badly; he's going to wish he were one of these dead trees!
(Suddenly, we see and hear the approach of many Ents from the forest. They emerge besides Big Nuts, take a look around, mumble darkly to one another, and make ready to follow Big Nuts. Jessie Brandybuck realizes what's happening, and allows her face to split into a great smile)
Jessie Brandybuck: (Maliciously) Yes!
Rippin Took: (In a nervous tone to her friend) Gees, Jessie! If I knew you were going to get this violent, I wouldn't hang around you so much!
Big Nuts: (Seriously) Now it is time that the Ents begin their last march! There is a good chance that we may all die-I mean, it isn't really that hard to kill us-but for the good of all things left in this world, it is essential that the Ents go to war! (Puts a finger in the air triumphantly) WE WILL DESTROY ISENGARD!
(All of the Ents cheer at this, and we suddenly see Big Nuts-his finger still in the air-turn around and head back towards the forest)
Big Nuts: (Shouting as an afterthought to the Ents) RIGHT AFTER LUNCH!
All of the Ents: (Shouting in unison) RIGHT AFTER LUNCH!
Big Nuts: (In a booming voice) And what shall we have for lunch?
Big Willy: Pizza!
Blonde Ent: Chinese!
Native American Ent: Tacos!
Big Nuts: (In a jovial tone) I've got an idea! Let's have an Entmoot about it!
All of the Ents: (Sounding enthused at the suggestion) YEAH! ANOTHER ENTMOOT!
(We hear Jessie Brandybuck give a sigh of frustration as the Ents make their way back into the Fangorn Forest)
