An: Spoiler wise there are none if you have seen up to S10 ep 10. So the stuff that is happening with Carter now on the show isn't relevant in this story. You'll understand what I mean as you read the chapter. Although I have read most spoilers and speculations I didn't want to bring any of that in to this story.
The Other Side Of Never
Chapter Six
22nd December 2009
'They can have my bed' said Carter
'No' Abby replied 'That's you're room now, Eric can have the top bunk in Toby's room and Maggie can share with me, or Elise can share with me'
'No Abby, let Maggie have my room, I'll take the sofa'
'It won't be good for your back, will it?'
'There're only here for a few days and I am working early Christmas Day'
Abby sighed 'Okay' she caved 'We'll do it your way, but there's something I haven't told you, lets go sit down'
They went into went into the kitchen where Abby poured some coffee and they sat down facing each other at the table.
'Well?' he asked 'What do you want to talk about?'
'Maggie and Eric, things have changed since, well since you last saw them'
'How?' his brow furrowed.
'Maggie's good' she started 'But Eric, well he just had trouble, coming to terms with everything, it was difficult for him'
Carter nodded and said 'Go on'
'Well, he tried to kill himself'
'Seriously tried?'
Abby nodded 'More than once in fact. The last time was just after Toby was born and Eric was almost successful. He... ' she struggled to find the words to continue. Carter waited silently for her to speak. 'He's not the same man you knew in Chicago. He OD'd badly and they got him back but he was down a long time. He'll probably remember you, he's just changed, he different that's all. He lives with Maggie and she makes sure they take their meds. I thought at one point she might... well you know have another manic episode, but she seems okay. She really loves the kids, I think that keeps her going' she sipped her coffee, paying great attention to the detail of the grain of wood running through the table.
'How do you feel about it?' Carter asked
'Now or then?'
He gave his head a slight shake and said 'Both'
'Well ermm.. Then I felt' she bit her lip 'It was difficult, Toby was really tiny, he was three weeks early and only a couple of weeks old at the time, Nick had just died and then my brother nearly died. How do you think I felt John?'
He looked at her and reached across the table and took her hands in his. His expression pained.
'It was a bad time, but, but I had the kids. I couldn't let them down or Maggie. I'll be honest with you, I thought of drinking I even bought a bottle of vodka, but I smashed it against the wall. Then I managed to get to a couple of meetings'
He massaged her hands with his and said quietly 'And now, how do you feel now?'
She sighed, sniffed and took a deep breath. 'Now. Now I've come to terms with what happened to Eric and Nick. I always had to do everything on my own so why should now be any different. Sometimes I want to go out to a big open space and yell that I don't want to do this on my own anymore. But who would hear me? Who cares anyway?'
'Me' he answered. Seeing the unsure expression on her face that she wasn't sure if she believed him. He couldn't blame her for being reluctant to trust him again though.
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Christmas Day
When Carter entered the house chaos reigned. Mostly in the form of an elderly looking lady, dressed as though she was wearing all the clothes she possessed. He guessed that the stench, which filled his nostrils, was emanating from her body.
'Oh John!' Maggie said relieved to see him after initial reservations two days earlier.
At the same time the kids yelled 'Carter' and threw themselves around his legs, a dog yapping at his heels.
'What's going on?' he asked half in a daze.
'John' Maggie said more firmly this time.
'Yes' he turned his attention to her
'You have to go find Abby' she told him
'Where is she?' he asked
'She went to look at my Daisy about three hour's ago' she elderly looking woman said.
'You have to go get her' Maggie insisted
'What? Where?' Carter stuttered
'She went to my farm' said the woman
He felt his pant leg being tugged 'Agnes lives next door' Elise told him. Carter looked at her with a puzzled expression. 'Honeyfoot farm, there's a track up the road' she added.
' 'Bout a mile or so, it's a long track to my property' Agnes said
'Oh' he managed
'You best go find her' said the woman he now knew was Agnes.
'It will be dark soon' Carter replied
'Exactly why you need to go find her' urged Maggie 'Go and change, I'll get you a torch'
Resigned Carter headed up the stairs to change; thanking God that he had invested in a pair of gumboots.
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Carter trudged through the snow-covered track; surprised to see so much of the stuff as the roads had been clear for days. He gazed up to the grey sky and guessed that there were a couple hours of daylight left. He hoped that the snow would hold off.
A small rundown rustic farmhouse and barn suddenly loomed into his sight as he rounded a bend and he wondered if everywhere round here needed updating.
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'They might not be back 'til morning' said Agnes looking out the window. 'It's gonna snow'
'Doesn't look too bad' commented Eric
'Trust me, it'll snow' she said
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'Abby!' yelled Carter as he strode into the yard.
The house was still, so he walked in the direction of the barn. The door creaked as he opened it, the barn smelt unsurprisingly of hay and animals. He noticed a few chickens, goats and a horse. As he scanned the area he noticed Abby at the far end huddled over something.
When he reached her he crouched down at her side.
'Hey Carter' she said without looking up
'How did you know it was me?' he asked
'I just heard you yell 'Abby', bit of a give away' she replied as she stroked a cow which lay on it's side.
'What have you been doing?'
'Nursing a sick cow. I told Agnes I wasn't a vet, but she insisted I come and look anyway at poor old Daisy'
'This is Daisy?' he asked incredulously.
'Yeah' Abby said rising to her feet and taking a hole ridden blanket off the side and covering the animal completely.
'It's dead then' Carter stated bluntly.
'Uh Huh, a couple of minutes before you arrived. I had to stay I couldn't leave her to die alone'
As they walked to the door Abby checked on the other animals as they passed them. Opening the door they discovered that it had started snowing again.
'We'd better wait this out' Abby said
'Where?' asked Carter
Abby pointed to the ramshackle two-storey farmhouse, which looked as though a strong wind would blow it down.
'There?' he said unbelievingly
'You can stay here if you prefer' she told him.
He followed her to the house and was surprised when she walked straight through the door. The house smelt much like the old woman, mixed with old dog. Inside the building it was sorely in need of remodelling, there was clutter everywhere and a remarkable amount of dog hair.
Carter was surprised when Abby switched on the light; the place was so antiquated he was beginning to think that it hadn't been fitted with electricity.
As if reading his thoughts Abby said 'We'll have to build a fire there's no central heating here. Agnes keeps spare wood out back' and she walked off to find it.
After they had started a fire Abby said 'Let's look upstairs for some bedding, it will be too cold to sleep up there. You think my place is cold wait 'til you've been upstairs here'.
She took his hand and led him out of the room and up the stairs, where they first came to a bathroom.
'It's freezing up here' exclaimed Carter looking at Abby who had a told you so expression on her face. 'I don't think I'll bother to use the bathroom much'
'There's a cloakroom downstairs' explained Abby noticing Carter's relieved look 'The kids used it when we visited in the summer'
They ventured along the landing, their warmth breath showing in the cold atmosphere of the upper floor of the farmhouse.
'This is Agnes's room' Abby informed Carter
'How did you know?' he asked
'I came up here when she was ill earlier this year. I think it's the only furnished room up here'
He looked disbelievingly at her and went to check the other two doors before coming back to her side. 'They're full of junk' he clarified.
As they were descending the stairs something caught Carter's eye. When they reached the doorway to the lounge he put his hand on her shoulder and brought her to a halt, then he slowly turned her around.
He cupped his hand around her cheek and drew her face around to meet his. Then he tentatively bent his head and brushed his lips with hers, murmuring 'Mistletoe'
She looked up and sure enough the mistletoe hung above them in the doorway. She smiled at Carter and tugged his head down for a more adventurous kiss.
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They lay side by side near the fire, fully dressed and covered with blankets from Agnes's bed. Carter had suggested calling Maggie but Abby had informed him that firstly Agnes didn't have a phone, secondly her cell needed recharging and thirdly the signal was poor here. Carter replied by telling her he'd forgotten his cell anyway. Maggie and the kids knew where they were so they decided not to worry.
They had managed to find something to eat and had drunk scalding coffee, which had warmed them somewhat. As it was still cold they had huddled together under the blankets by the fire.
'It's amazing, isn't it?' Carter broke the silence.
'What?' said Abby turning to face Carter who was lying on his back with his hands behind his head.
'This. Here'
Abby looked at him with a blank expression on her face.
'I mean that someone actually lives here, like this'
'I guess it's normal for Agnes, she's old and well as far as I know lived here all her life. She must be touching on eighty.
'And she runs a farm by herself?' Carter asked incredulously.
'Not really, not anymore. She rents most of the land off and lives off that income. She only has the animals left you saw in the barn'
'And the dog?'
'And the dog. Her best friend Sophia Jackson used to live where we do now. That's why it's so rundown, she died about eighteen months ago age ninety-six'
'Really! What about the mistletoe, why do you think she has it hanging there?'
'Arthur'
'Arthur?'
'Mmm, she has the hots for him, he's Bert's father, from the garage, he usually comes up here once a week to play cards'
They fell into silence once more after a while Carter said 'This is a long way from Chicago'
Homesick?'
'No'
'What then?'
'It's just odd being here with you'
'Here with me as in at Agnes's house or here with me generally?'
'Both'
'Oh'
'Abby?'
'Mmmm?' she replied
'I'm sorry'
'What? Sorry for what?'
'About.... You know'
'No Carter I don't, what are you talking about?'
'Before'
'As in today? Yesterday?'
'No. As in when I sent you that letter'
'Oh'
Neither spoke for what seemed an eternity.
'It was a long time ago' Abby finally said
'Still I felt it was hanging between us'
'I am too you know'
'You are too, what?'
'Sorry, I mean it wasn't all you was it'
'It was a lot of things Abby, I guess the timing was out'
'It usually is with me' she said wistfully
'Well, it was with me too'
'Okay. Well as we are talking about things. Can we start over? Or is there someone else?' she dared to ask
'There's no one else. I haven't had a serious relationship in years'
'What about Kem?'
'That just didn't work out, like the rest of my relationships actually. If you really want to know I've dated two women this year, neither of them were serious. So you want to start over?'
'Don't you? I thought we could at least try, slowly though because of the kids'
'Yes but....'
'But what Carter, neither of us are getting any younger. I thought I was the indecisive on, the one who always put their life on hold'
'Mmmm' he replied 'You say that, but were so indecisive when you decided to have a family?'
'I'm not ready to talk to you about that, Nick and I were only married for six months when he died, I will tell you I promise'
'Don't make promises you can't keep'
'I won't, I'm not'
'So are we arguing already?'
'Are we starting over?'
'Yes' they said simultaneously.
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As dawn broke the following morning Carter woke and was about to stretch when he felt a weight upon his chest. He looked down and saw Abby who was still sleeping.
Carter decided that having her here with him felt good, right. Even if they were lying on a hard wood floor, which was not the most comfortable place to be.
He heard footsteps on the porch outside and gently shook Abby.
'Abby!' he whispered urgently
'What?' she asked startled
'There's someone out front' he added
They heard the front door open and they both sprang out of their makeshift bed, glad that they were still dressed.
'It's okay, I won't tell' said Agnes coming into the lounge and staring at the pair of them.
'What?' spluttered Carter 'You could have knocked'
'It's my home' Agnes replied
'Yes...but I.. we...'
'Errr... Agnes' started Abby rescuing Carter from his embarrassment. 'About Daisy, I well umm I'm sorry she died'
'I know dear I went to the barn first. I'll get Burt come and dig me a hole'
Carter looked at her in amazement.
'For my Daisy, bury her properly'
'We'd better get going' Carter managed struggling into his outdoor wear as quickly as possible.
'Snow's deep in places, watch where you tread' Agnes told them as she saw them leave her property. 'Thank you Abby, for what you did, I am sure Daisy appreciated you being here'
As they trudged out of sight Agnes went into the barn and wept for the loss of Daisy.
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