Scene Twenty-Nine
(We now go back to Helm's Deep, where the outer and inner walls have been totally breeched and many Urak-hai Members are brandishing flags of the White Hand of Andraman from the fortress. Then, we go to the inside of the fortress, where man Urak-hai Members are banging a huge battering ram at the main compartment, trying to get in and kill those that remain defending the fortress. We go inside and see many soldiers placing steel poles and wooden boards against the door, to desperately try and keep the Orcs out. Jimagorn, Megolas, Brimli, & Commander Kilmage are among those who are helping the soldiers. But King Kevoden is way away from the group, looking lost and forlorn-only so many of his men have survived, and almost all of the Woodelves are gone. The king has lost his commander, his lieutenant, and his hope for victory)
King Kevoden: (Angrily shouting at Jimagorn) Stop barring the gate, already! The fight is over! Helm's Deep has fallen!
Jimagorn: (Stubbornly, as he grabs a board) You said that the keep would not fall unless there were men still defending it!
King Kevoden: (Angrily) Well-stop defending it!
(Jimagorn doesn't reply, and there is a great shout as the battering ram hits the gate again, and a huge CRACK is heard throughout the room. Then, we go down into the Glittering Caves, where many of the women and children are screaming in fright at the sounds of the battle drawing dreadfully close)
Edoras Woman#15: (Hysterically shouting) They're breaking in!
Edoras Woman#17: (Frightened beyond her wildest dreams) We're all going to die!
Edoras Woman#19: (Running up to Erynwyn and embracing her in fright) We're going to die!
Erynwyn: (Looking very uncomfortable at this) Er-miss, could you possibly step away from me? You smell really bad! (Gags at the thought of it)
(We go back to the main compartment, where the battering ram still bangs upon the door, and the soldiers still fight to defend what is left of the keep. King Kevoden is off to the side, along with Commander Kilmage. Jimagorn is not so quick to lose hope, though)
Jimagorn: (Quickly to the king and the commander) Is there no other way to get the women and children out of the caves?
(Commander Kilmage & King Kevoden look at one another in utmost dismay. Jimagorn looks very nervous and agitated)
Jimagorn: (Angrily) Hello, I asked a question! Now's not the time to stand there, looking dramatic! Now, when I have to say that, you know I'm serious! (Repeating the question with much urgency) Is there no other way?
Commander Kilmage: (After looking at the king once before replying) There is one other way-it leads into the mountains.(Looking at Jimagorn with dismay) but it will be too late for them; the Urak-hai would have already caught up with them!
(There is another great BOOM as the battering ram makes another assault upon the gate, causing the soldiers to push their weight against the gate to keep it from totally toppling over from the next assault. Jimagorn is doing some quick thinking-obviously, considering he is stroking his chest rapidly)
Jimagorn: (To Commander Kilmage) Get as many of your troops down into the caves and lead the women and children to safety-we'll try and hold off the Urak-hai.
King Kevoden: (Distantly) So much death.
Jimagorn: (Irritably to King Kevoden) Will you stop saying that, already?
King Kevoden: (Looking to the sky sadly) So many have had to die just to defend a single keep. At least I shall live long enough to see the sun rise over the mountains one last time.
Jimagorn: (His eyes brightening with recognition) Sunrise?
(Megolas & Brimli join Jimagorn, who is looking towards a window nearby)
Megolas: (Angrily) Oh crap! Did you forget your lines again?
(Jimagorn puts up a hand to shush the Elf as he looks towards the window brightening as the sun rises slowly. Then, he remembers something and we hear the Voice of Kendalf ring through Jimagorn's thoughts)
Voice of Kendalf: (With urgency) Look for my coming, at dawn of the second day; at first light, look to the east.
(There is a great BOOM and CRACK as the gate almost busts in half from the assault of the battering ram)
Soldier of Edoras#73: (Irritably to the five standing away from the battle) Uh-could you just reach a decision now, please? I think I may have thrown out my shoulder! (Rolls his shoulder delicately) Ouch! That smarts!
Jimagorn: (Distantly to King Kevoden) Ride out with me.
(King Kevoden stares at Jimagorn with a shocked expression, but Jimagorn is dead serious about this)
Jimagorn: (Repeating the suggestion to King Kevoden) Ride out with me, King of Edoras.
King Kevoden: (With a small smile) Of course! (Coming close and speaking quietly to Jimagorn) Ride away from this place and lie low for a while till things die down! Of course! That's ingenious!
Jimagorn: (Angrily) No, you fool! I mean-(More dramatically) ride out with me and meet them!
King Kevoden: (A smile of honor crossing his face) So that the two Men of Honor can ride out and fight one last time! May they live to tell the tale- (Placing a hand upon the other's shoulder) or may they die with honor!
Jimagorn: (With a small smile upon his face) A bit more poetic than I intended it to be, but okay! May the best Man fight till the death! (In an offhand type of way) You can come too, Megolas.
Megolas: (In a small, sarcastic tone) Yay.
Brimli: (Brandishing her axe excitedly) Yeah! Let's do this thing!
Jimagorn: (With a small laugh) No, Brimli! You have to go blow on the horn of the keep!
Brimli: (Angrily) What?
Jimagorn: (Nodding in importance) Yes! The horn must be heard throughout the land, so that the opposing force may cringe with fear at our coming! (In an offhand type of voice) Besides, those stubby legs of yours don't get tired as easily as most people's. (Slaps Brimli's legs with the flat end of his sword)
Brimli: (Angrily) Will you cut that out?
Megolas: (Irritably) Can we just get this over with, already? I'm sick of just sitting here and waiting while the Orcs plow their way towards the door!
Brimli: (Angrily) Fine! Fine! Fine! I'm going!
(Mumbling darkly, Brimli makes her exit from the main compartment through a side door, leading to the stairs that ascend towards the horn of Helm's Deep. Brimli looks up the stairs-many hundreds of stairs that spiral upward-and groans)
Brimli: (Angrily) Stubby legs, indeed!
(Brimli begins her rapid climb up the stairs, and we go back to the main compartment, where Commander Kilmage, Megolas, Jimagorn, & King Kevoden are mounted upon horses-that didn't happen to be there in the previous scene)
Jimagorn: (Curiously) Er-does anybody know where these horses came from?
(They all look at the remaining soldiers, who merely shrug and back away from the gate on Commander Kilmage's signal. The gate is left alone, and the battering ram bangs against it a few times, and it cracks and breaks effortlessly. We see the face of King Kevoden curl into a broad smile)
King Kevoden: (Maliciously) If they think they're taking my keep so effortlessly, they're dreadfully mistaken!
Jimagorn: (Dramatically) And if they think they're taking my hair gel away from me, then they're also dreadfully mistaken!
Megolas: (Raising an eyebrow at Jimagorn) Jimagorn, you've got a huge bottle of hair gel in your front pocket!
Jimagorn: (Curiously) I do? (Puts a hand down his front pocket and pulls out a big bottle of hair gel) Oh! So I do! (Puts the bottle back in the pocket and speaks offhandedly) Then, in that case, go with what King Kevoden said about the keep.
(And with that, the doors to the main compartment burst open and tons of Urak-hai Members rush inside the compartment, roaring and hissing as they go. But the four people on horseback are ready to defend this area by any means possible. Megolas shoots arrow after arrow at the Orcs, getting the advantage of being on a horse. Jimagorn & King Kevoden slash at the Orcs that come close enough, and Commander Kilmage throws different knives at Orcs within sight. Pretty soon, the Urak-hai Members are either killed or wounded upon the ground, and the four ride out of the main compartment. Then, we see Brimli, running up the stairs towards the horn. Then, she stops, takes a breather for about five seconds, then runs up the stairs once more. We go back to Megolas, Jimagorn, King Kevoden, & Commander Kilmage riding out of the inner wall, surprising many Orcs standing there. With a shout of triumph, Jimagorn slashes and kills Urak-hai Member#207, who is standing guard with Urak-hai Member#127)
Urak-hai Member#127: (In a shocked, small tone after Jimagorn) Hey!
(We go back to Brimli, who finally reaches the horn. After taking a huge breath, the Dwarf blows upon the horn-but it doesn't make any noise. Brimli, puzzled at this point, licks her lips a few times before trying again-but nothing happens. Finally, giving a great sigh of frustration, Brimli pulls out a stick of Chapstick from her pocket and put it on)
Brimli: (Angrily) Damn my family's horrible chapped lip problem!
(After rubbing her lips together to spread the Chapstick, Brimli takes a huge breath and tries again-this time, there is the great sound of the horn of Helm's Deep billowing out throughout the land. We go outside, where the Urak-hai Members look at the keep in curiosity, but let out shouts of surprise as they see four people on horseback making their way towards the Urak-hai Members, coming down the ramp of the outer wall's gate; Jimagorn, Megolas, Commander Kilmage, & King Kevoden fight with a ferocity that seems unimaginable. The Urak-hai Members try to come at them, but the defenders are easy to dispatch them. Then, there is the sound of a horse in the distance, and Jimagorn averts his attention to the east-after a while, everybody else looks as well. In the east-standing upon a rise in the earth-is Kendalf upon his mount of Shadowfax. Jimagorn smiles in relief)
Jimagorn: (In a very relieved tone) Kendalf!
(But Kendalf doesn't seem so happy with the scene; he is scowling deeply at the battered keep)
Kendalf: (Angrily shouting at Jimagorn) Dang it, Jimagorn! What the heck happened to the defenses?
Jimagorn: (With a small shrug as he shouts back) Er-they didn't hold as well as I had hoped, Kendalf.
Megolas: (Angrily shouting at the wizard) About flippin' time you get here, you ninny! Where the hell have you been?
Kendalf: (In a shocked tone) I had to get the Riders of Rohan, Megolas!
Jimagorn: (Raising his eyebrow quizzically) But it is only a five hour ride to where the Riders of Rohan roam!
Kendalf: (In a very irritable voice) FINE! FINE! (In a defeated tone) I took 'em to Hooters!
Megolas: (Rolling her eyes) That's what I thought!
Jimagorn: (In a practical tone to the Elf) Well, he's not totally to blame!
(We go back to Kendalf, who has cleared his throat and is speaking to somebody behind him)
Kendalf: (In a serious tone) Kevoden, king, stands alone.
(We see Méomer, clad in his battle wear-and a Hooters T-shirt over it-ride next to Kendalf)
Méomer: (With a small smile as he looks down at the forces below) Not totally alone.
(We see King Kevoden smile as he recognizes the person next to Kendalf upon the rise)
King Kevoden: (Quietly) Méomer!
Méomer: (Shouting to his forces behind him) Men! Ready yourselves!
(And with that, the entire force of the Riders of Rohan-which is a very good number of them-make their appearance upon the rise. We go down to where the Urak-hai Members are watching this scene)
Urak-hai Member#307: (In a small tone) Well, that's a kick in the pants, isn't it?
(Then, Kendalf brings up his staff and shouts for the Riders to attack. The Riders cascade down the hill, coming by the hundreds, pouring over the rise to aid in defending Helm's Deep. We see the Urak-hai Members line up on the bottom of the rise, their dangerous spears extended outwards to await the onslaught that plans to meet them. But as the last of the Riders of Rohan make their way off the rise, the sun is able to peek through the rise-blinding the Urak-hai Members horribly)
Urak-hai Member#286: (In a pain-stricken voice) Agh! Natural light! Get it away! Get it away!
(The Urak-hai Members lower their defenses, causing the Riders of Rohan to charge into the entire force, cutting down many with one swipe of their weapons. Kendalf is able to bring down many Orcs with the butt end of his white staff)
Kendalf: (Looking at the white staff with amazement) I knew that this had a real purpose!
(We now go back to Helm's Deep, where the outer and inner walls have been totally breeched and many Urak-hai Members are brandishing flags of the White Hand of Andraman from the fortress. Then, we go to the inside of the fortress, where man Urak-hai Members are banging a huge battering ram at the main compartment, trying to get in and kill those that remain defending the fortress. We go inside and see many soldiers placing steel poles and wooden boards against the door, to desperately try and keep the Orcs out. Jimagorn, Megolas, Brimli, & Commander Kilmage are among those who are helping the soldiers. But King Kevoden is way away from the group, looking lost and forlorn-only so many of his men have survived, and almost all of the Woodelves are gone. The king has lost his commander, his lieutenant, and his hope for victory)
King Kevoden: (Angrily shouting at Jimagorn) Stop barring the gate, already! The fight is over! Helm's Deep has fallen!
Jimagorn: (Stubbornly, as he grabs a board) You said that the keep would not fall unless there were men still defending it!
King Kevoden: (Angrily) Well-stop defending it!
(Jimagorn doesn't reply, and there is a great shout as the battering ram hits the gate again, and a huge CRACK is heard throughout the room. Then, we go down into the Glittering Caves, where many of the women and children are screaming in fright at the sounds of the battle drawing dreadfully close)
Edoras Woman#15: (Hysterically shouting) They're breaking in!
Edoras Woman#17: (Frightened beyond her wildest dreams) We're all going to die!
Edoras Woman#19: (Running up to Erynwyn and embracing her in fright) We're going to die!
Erynwyn: (Looking very uncomfortable at this) Er-miss, could you possibly step away from me? You smell really bad! (Gags at the thought of it)
(We go back to the main compartment, where the battering ram still bangs upon the door, and the soldiers still fight to defend what is left of the keep. King Kevoden is off to the side, along with Commander Kilmage. Jimagorn is not so quick to lose hope, though)
Jimagorn: (Quickly to the king and the commander) Is there no other way to get the women and children out of the caves?
(Commander Kilmage & King Kevoden look at one another in utmost dismay. Jimagorn looks very nervous and agitated)
Jimagorn: (Angrily) Hello, I asked a question! Now's not the time to stand there, looking dramatic! Now, when I have to say that, you know I'm serious! (Repeating the question with much urgency) Is there no other way?
Commander Kilmage: (After looking at the king once before replying) There is one other way-it leads into the mountains.(Looking at Jimagorn with dismay) but it will be too late for them; the Urak-hai would have already caught up with them!
(There is another great BOOM as the battering ram makes another assault upon the gate, causing the soldiers to push their weight against the gate to keep it from totally toppling over from the next assault. Jimagorn is doing some quick thinking-obviously, considering he is stroking his chest rapidly)
Jimagorn: (To Commander Kilmage) Get as many of your troops down into the caves and lead the women and children to safety-we'll try and hold off the Urak-hai.
King Kevoden: (Distantly) So much death.
Jimagorn: (Irritably to King Kevoden) Will you stop saying that, already?
King Kevoden: (Looking to the sky sadly) So many have had to die just to defend a single keep. At least I shall live long enough to see the sun rise over the mountains one last time.
Jimagorn: (His eyes brightening with recognition) Sunrise?
(Megolas & Brimli join Jimagorn, who is looking towards a window nearby)
Megolas: (Angrily) Oh crap! Did you forget your lines again?
(Jimagorn puts up a hand to shush the Elf as he looks towards the window brightening as the sun rises slowly. Then, he remembers something and we hear the Voice of Kendalf ring through Jimagorn's thoughts)
Voice of Kendalf: (With urgency) Look for my coming, at dawn of the second day; at first light, look to the east.
(There is a great BOOM and CRACK as the gate almost busts in half from the assault of the battering ram)
Soldier of Edoras#73: (Irritably to the five standing away from the battle) Uh-could you just reach a decision now, please? I think I may have thrown out my shoulder! (Rolls his shoulder delicately) Ouch! That smarts!
Jimagorn: (Distantly to King Kevoden) Ride out with me.
(King Kevoden stares at Jimagorn with a shocked expression, but Jimagorn is dead serious about this)
Jimagorn: (Repeating the suggestion to King Kevoden) Ride out with me, King of Edoras.
King Kevoden: (With a small smile) Of course! (Coming close and speaking quietly to Jimagorn) Ride away from this place and lie low for a while till things die down! Of course! That's ingenious!
Jimagorn: (Angrily) No, you fool! I mean-(More dramatically) ride out with me and meet them!
King Kevoden: (A smile of honor crossing his face) So that the two Men of Honor can ride out and fight one last time! May they live to tell the tale- (Placing a hand upon the other's shoulder) or may they die with honor!
Jimagorn: (With a small smile upon his face) A bit more poetic than I intended it to be, but okay! May the best Man fight till the death! (In an offhand type of way) You can come too, Megolas.
Megolas: (In a small, sarcastic tone) Yay.
Brimli: (Brandishing her axe excitedly) Yeah! Let's do this thing!
Jimagorn: (With a small laugh) No, Brimli! You have to go blow on the horn of the keep!
Brimli: (Angrily) What?
Jimagorn: (Nodding in importance) Yes! The horn must be heard throughout the land, so that the opposing force may cringe with fear at our coming! (In an offhand type of voice) Besides, those stubby legs of yours don't get tired as easily as most people's. (Slaps Brimli's legs with the flat end of his sword)
Brimli: (Angrily) Will you cut that out?
Megolas: (Irritably) Can we just get this over with, already? I'm sick of just sitting here and waiting while the Orcs plow their way towards the door!
Brimli: (Angrily) Fine! Fine! Fine! I'm going!
(Mumbling darkly, Brimli makes her exit from the main compartment through a side door, leading to the stairs that ascend towards the horn of Helm's Deep. Brimli looks up the stairs-many hundreds of stairs that spiral upward-and groans)
Brimli: (Angrily) Stubby legs, indeed!
(Brimli begins her rapid climb up the stairs, and we go back to the main compartment, where Commander Kilmage, Megolas, Jimagorn, & King Kevoden are mounted upon horses-that didn't happen to be there in the previous scene)
Jimagorn: (Curiously) Er-does anybody know where these horses came from?
(They all look at the remaining soldiers, who merely shrug and back away from the gate on Commander Kilmage's signal. The gate is left alone, and the battering ram bangs against it a few times, and it cracks and breaks effortlessly. We see the face of King Kevoden curl into a broad smile)
King Kevoden: (Maliciously) If they think they're taking my keep so effortlessly, they're dreadfully mistaken!
Jimagorn: (Dramatically) And if they think they're taking my hair gel away from me, then they're also dreadfully mistaken!
Megolas: (Raising an eyebrow at Jimagorn) Jimagorn, you've got a huge bottle of hair gel in your front pocket!
Jimagorn: (Curiously) I do? (Puts a hand down his front pocket and pulls out a big bottle of hair gel) Oh! So I do! (Puts the bottle back in the pocket and speaks offhandedly) Then, in that case, go with what King Kevoden said about the keep.
(And with that, the doors to the main compartment burst open and tons of Urak-hai Members rush inside the compartment, roaring and hissing as they go. But the four people on horseback are ready to defend this area by any means possible. Megolas shoots arrow after arrow at the Orcs, getting the advantage of being on a horse. Jimagorn & King Kevoden slash at the Orcs that come close enough, and Commander Kilmage throws different knives at Orcs within sight. Pretty soon, the Urak-hai Members are either killed or wounded upon the ground, and the four ride out of the main compartment. Then, we see Brimli, running up the stairs towards the horn. Then, she stops, takes a breather for about five seconds, then runs up the stairs once more. We go back to Megolas, Jimagorn, King Kevoden, & Commander Kilmage riding out of the inner wall, surprising many Orcs standing there. With a shout of triumph, Jimagorn slashes and kills Urak-hai Member#207, who is standing guard with Urak-hai Member#127)
Urak-hai Member#127: (In a shocked, small tone after Jimagorn) Hey!
(We go back to Brimli, who finally reaches the horn. After taking a huge breath, the Dwarf blows upon the horn-but it doesn't make any noise. Brimli, puzzled at this point, licks her lips a few times before trying again-but nothing happens. Finally, giving a great sigh of frustration, Brimli pulls out a stick of Chapstick from her pocket and put it on)
Brimli: (Angrily) Damn my family's horrible chapped lip problem!
(After rubbing her lips together to spread the Chapstick, Brimli takes a huge breath and tries again-this time, there is the great sound of the horn of Helm's Deep billowing out throughout the land. We go outside, where the Urak-hai Members look at the keep in curiosity, but let out shouts of surprise as they see four people on horseback making their way towards the Urak-hai Members, coming down the ramp of the outer wall's gate; Jimagorn, Megolas, Commander Kilmage, & King Kevoden fight with a ferocity that seems unimaginable. The Urak-hai Members try to come at them, but the defenders are easy to dispatch them. Then, there is the sound of a horse in the distance, and Jimagorn averts his attention to the east-after a while, everybody else looks as well. In the east-standing upon a rise in the earth-is Kendalf upon his mount of Shadowfax. Jimagorn smiles in relief)
Jimagorn: (In a very relieved tone) Kendalf!
(But Kendalf doesn't seem so happy with the scene; he is scowling deeply at the battered keep)
Kendalf: (Angrily shouting at Jimagorn) Dang it, Jimagorn! What the heck happened to the defenses?
Jimagorn: (With a small shrug as he shouts back) Er-they didn't hold as well as I had hoped, Kendalf.
Megolas: (Angrily shouting at the wizard) About flippin' time you get here, you ninny! Where the hell have you been?
Kendalf: (In a shocked tone) I had to get the Riders of Rohan, Megolas!
Jimagorn: (Raising his eyebrow quizzically) But it is only a five hour ride to where the Riders of Rohan roam!
Kendalf: (In a very irritable voice) FINE! FINE! (In a defeated tone) I took 'em to Hooters!
Megolas: (Rolling her eyes) That's what I thought!
Jimagorn: (In a practical tone to the Elf) Well, he's not totally to blame!
(We go back to Kendalf, who has cleared his throat and is speaking to somebody behind him)
Kendalf: (In a serious tone) Kevoden, king, stands alone.
(We see Méomer, clad in his battle wear-and a Hooters T-shirt over it-ride next to Kendalf)
Méomer: (With a small smile as he looks down at the forces below) Not totally alone.
(We see King Kevoden smile as he recognizes the person next to Kendalf upon the rise)
King Kevoden: (Quietly) Méomer!
Méomer: (Shouting to his forces behind him) Men! Ready yourselves!
(And with that, the entire force of the Riders of Rohan-which is a very good number of them-make their appearance upon the rise. We go down to where the Urak-hai Members are watching this scene)
Urak-hai Member#307: (In a small tone) Well, that's a kick in the pants, isn't it?
(Then, Kendalf brings up his staff and shouts for the Riders to attack. The Riders cascade down the hill, coming by the hundreds, pouring over the rise to aid in defending Helm's Deep. We see the Urak-hai Members line up on the bottom of the rise, their dangerous spears extended outwards to await the onslaught that plans to meet them. But as the last of the Riders of Rohan make their way off the rise, the sun is able to peek through the rise-blinding the Urak-hai Members horribly)
Urak-hai Member#286: (In a pain-stricken voice) Agh! Natural light! Get it away! Get it away!
(The Urak-hai Members lower their defenses, causing the Riders of Rohan to charge into the entire force, cutting down many with one swipe of their weapons. Kendalf is able to bring down many Orcs with the butt end of his white staff)
Kendalf: (Looking at the white staff with amazement) I knew that this had a real purpose!
