The coffin was just as horrible as he remembered it. Chaos snickered in the back of his mind.
*Entering eternal sleep mode again, Vincent?*
All Vincent did was nod. It's better for everybody if I lock myself away like this. Especially Tifa. That way, she doesn't have to put up with a monster overshadowing her every move. And in a way, it's better for me as well. I don't want to mar people with my presence any longer.
He glanced down at the coffin. It didn't seem very inviting.
Do I really want to do this? Isn't there another way, other then being a coward and pretending that if I shut my eyes, all my problems will disappear?
Vincent Valentine had a rather large dilemma now. Staying was out of the question, yet running away was also not a possibility. But what else could he do?
*Why don't you just kill yourself,* Chaos intervened lazily. *Then I don't have to put up with you and your constant angst act,*
I'm not running any more. Vincent was adamant on this. He sighed softly, before leaving the coffin room and turning, walking down the corridor to a door. Pushing open the door softly, he looked around the unused library with mixed emotions. He could remember this room all too well. For him, it was more then a library.
Memories of Lucrecia went through his head, holding hands with her as they walked through Nibelheim together. He wanted to keep the good memories and simply forget about the other ones, but the other ones (namely the bad ones) kept resurfacing just as he thought that they were finally buried. No thanks to a certain something.
*The past is all you have, Vincent. There's no point in forgetting it, because then you will have nothing,*
As much as he hated to agree with Chaos, he reluctantly did in this matter. The past is all I have, because I have to spend eternity atoning for my sins in the past. Chaos is right.
His thoughts turned to Tifa again. She had been there, she had seen Lucrecia. Unlike Cloud, she hadn't offered an opinion. Tifa, she had been nice to him throughout the time they had known each other. And what for? He certainly hadn't been towards her. He never was.
I… I-think-I-love-you…
Why did she? He would never know. It wasn't as though he deserved it. Monsters didn't deserve to be loved by anybody.
Although… even if they didn't deserve it, it still seemingly happened from time to time…
Now his own words in response to hers were beginning to haunt him. It was true that he couldn't love her, but after everything she had done, he could have at least let her down a bit more gently. So much for atoning…
He walked over to the table where so many years ago, Hojo had tied him down and made him into the monster he was, or at least a physical manifestation of. So much blood was spilt, hearts were broken, people hurt during the JENOVA project, but for what? All for the sake of science? Or something else? I have never understood… and now that Hojo is dead, I never will… in a way, Sephiroth's life both began and was ended by Hojo… the experiments took away from what could have been. They destroyed it.
Memories. Confronting Hojo for what would be the last time as he was back then. The piercing pain of the bullet entering his body. The dizzy feeling of losing consciousness…
The blind terror when he had heard a voice inside his head, a voice that wasn't his… the agony of losing control and being forced to watch out of a demon's eyes…
But then again… wasn't he used to that? After all…
The bittersweet pleasure he had felt when Hojo was finally dead… it was hard, but then again, oh so easy. His hand strayed absentmindedly to his gun, before withdrawing.
Vincent, are you alright?
Something was there. Something he hadn't felt in a long time. Something he didn't understand, but it was about her. Tifa…
Was it…?
No, it couldn't be. Lucrecia was the only person that he had loved…
Yeah… a voice in the back of his mind sniggered, except he knew that it was only his consciousness as opposed to anything else. And look where that got you.
Could he still love? He didn't know. But, even still…
He turned to leave the room, walking slowly back to the coffin room. Now the question was lingering in his mind.
To coffin… or not to coffin?
*I never thought I'd see the day. Vincent Valentine gets a sense of humour,* Chaos muttered dryly. But Vincent was being deadly serious.
This is pathetic. I miss her… against his wishes, the smiling brunette known as Tifa kept on coming into his mind. However, the scream of hers in his 'dream' helped him make up his mind.
"Tifa, everybody… this is for you," Vincent smiled dryly before pulling the coffin lid over himself with a finalising thud.
Ya… angsty Vincent in coffin chapter. You know how long I've been waiting to say that?!
*cough* Anyway… enjoy and review if you're feeling nice ^^
