Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, I think that we all know that I don't own Soujiro or Shishio so please don't sue me! I'm only fourteen! I cant even drive yet! =I
Part I: The Past Chapter 1: KadoriI wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away
I didn't know that it was so cold and
You needed someone to show you the way
So I took your hand and we figured out
That when the tide comes I'd take you away
If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares
I'm sinking slowly
So hurry hold me
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone
If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Don't you dare touch the house while we're gone. If I find anything out of place…"
"And don't even think of leaving. Lock the door!"
"Don't worry big brother…Soujiro should know that if he leaves us there'll be no one to feed him out there. He'd stay even if the gates weren't locked."
"Make sure that all of the barrels of rice are in the shed before we get back. And if you break one you'll have to listen to me later."
Soujiro stood silent, listening with a smile on his face. 'If I just keep smiling…' he said to himself. He thought of Mr. Shishio back in the rice shed. It had only been last night that Soujiro saw him killing the policemen. 'He really is a bad man,' Soujiro thought, 'but he's a strong man!'
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The sun beat down on Soujiro's head. He staggered across the yard under the weight of the heavy barrel of rice. He wasn't completely sure how many he had carried to the shed. Soujiro lost count around fifty. Still, he plodded along while weariness got the better of him. Soujiro began to feel faint and he stumbled more. A few barrels later, Soujiro tripped and fell on the ground.
'I have to get up and finish carrying the rice,' he thought, 'if I don't finish…' There was no need to finish the thought. He knew what would happen. But Soujiro was just too exhausted and thirsty. He fell over again, and everything went black.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A ball bounced over the wall and rolled to a halt in the middle of the back yard. Somewhere a young girl cried, "Oh no!"
A few moments later a scuffling noise came behind a wall nearby. The girl appeared on the top, and then she (quite ungracefully) fell over. She sat up and inspected herself. She was a bit dirtier, but she didn't care. She hated the pink kimono her parents made her wear.
As the girl moved forwards to reclaim her ball, she spotted something out of the corner of her eye. All at once, she forgot her toy and rushed over to the boy who looked about her age.
For a while she stood and surveyed his patched and worn clothes, the bruises and dirt on his cheeks, and the smile playing on his lips. 'Oh my gosh,' she thought, 'is he dead? But I've never seen anyone smile when they were dead…' The girl thought she saw him move and knelt down beside him. She pulled back her light brown hair and closed her eyes as she listened to his chest for a heartbeat. Then she smiled. "Thank goodness he's okay!" she said aloud to no one in particular. Because her parents paid little attention to her, the girl had the habit of talking to herself.
She stood and looked at him again, and then ripped of the edge of one of her sleeves. "Silly pink," she said, "at least you'll do something useful." The girl walked over to the nearby well and huffed as she pulled up a bucket of water. Then she dragged it over to the boy's body and rested for a moment. She frowned at the rice barrel attached to his back, and then carefully slipped his arms out of the straps and laid him down correctly on the ground.
"This should wake you up!" she said, dipping the cloth in the bucket and dabbed water onto his bruises and tried to rub the dirt off. Her efforts only managed to make him flinch. "Ayah! Wake up!" she muttered, dumping more water on his face.
Soujiro sat up with a start, coughing and spluttering. "Whoops…" the girl said sheepishly. "Don't want to kill him." Then to Soujiro, "I'm so glad you're awake! It felt like you were dead just lying there. And that's awful." She smiled broadly at him.
Soujiro stared at her, stunned. He never got to see other children his age and waking up to find a strange girl smiling at him was definitely shocking. "Ah………who………who…how…who are you?" was all he managed to say. Soujiro was too busy gaping.
The girl only smiled more and held out a hand. "My name is Kadori. I live near this house, and I always wondered who lived in it because my parents don't let me out much and I didn't know they had a boy my age! And I was playing with my ball, it's over there, and then it bounced over the wall and I climbed the wall. It wasn't that hard, actually. There were some boxes outside but I did fall over but I'm okay now anyway. That's how I got inside."
She continued, "Then I saw you there, and I thought is he dead? So I took a part of my silly kimono and got some water to wake you up, cos obviously you were too hot from the sun. And then you woke up."
Soujiro could only stare. He hadn't really gotten most of that; Kadori was talking very fast.
Kadori absently played with a frayed edge of the ripped part in her kimono. Then, startling Soujiro she said, "What's your name? You haven't told me yet."
"Eh? Oh, ah, it's S-soujiro." He was still staring wide eyed at her.
She smiled. "Soujiro." Kadori was silent for a while as she surveyed her surroundings.
After a moment Soujiro regained his composure and studied Kadori. She obviously came from a well off family; her kimono was very fine. But his eyes widened again when he saw the ripped sleeve. 'Why would she rip her kimono?' He looked at the piece of cloth hanging from the bucket. 'Did she do it for me? Why would—'
"Soujiro, why were you carrying that big barrel? It must be heavy. Do your parents make you do chores? My parents don't let me do any, cos we have maids, but sometimes I get so bored that doing chores might be fun!" Kadori said, interrupting his thoughts.
Soujiro said, "Well…yeah…I guess they are my chores." For some reason, he didn't want to tell Kadori the truth.
"Why are your clothes so…well…"
"Oh…they're my…work clothes."
Kadori nodded silently. That made sense. It still didn't explain the bruises but if those were chores then she didn't want to keep him from them. Then she had an idea. "Hey Soujiro…can I help you with your chores?"
This caused him yet another shock. "You…want to help…me?" Soujiro's eyes widened.
Kadori laughed, "What if you fell down again? Anyway, my parents are at a silly party and they won't care if I'm not at home. They won't notice. And I'd rather do work with someone than play all by myself. Will your parents mind?"
Soujiro blinked. "Oh……well they're out doing things for their business."
"Then let's go."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
As the sun slowly started to sink, the two young children helped each other carry the heavy barrels of rice to the shed. Shishio's eyes narrowed when he saw the young girl, and he stayed hidden.
Kadori thought of how hard work this was, and of how Soujiro must have to do it by himself. She noticed him smiling slightly, even through the fatigue Kadori suspected he felt. She would have told him to go and rest but she didn't think she could have managed the work by herself. 'Soujiro must be really strong…' Kadori said to herself, 'to smile when he works. He was even smiling when he was on the ground.'
For Soujiro, all he could think of was that this girl, whom he hardly knew, was helping him. "Why would she want to help me? Do people actually help each other?" It was a baffling question.
Surprisingly enough, the job was done quickly and the two children sat in the shade of a nearby tree. Soujiro didn't need to do much talking; Kadori did enough for both of them. But he learned a lot about her.
Kadori was indeed rich, but as she said, it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Kadori's parents were nice, but they never really paid attention to her. Only at dinner parties would they talk to her, and show her off to the neighbors. Kadori's parents thought that she would be happy with just toys and wouldn't need them around, so when she was much younger she had a nanny. Kadori learned how to take care of herself pretty quickly because her parents were always off somewhere buying things or working or at parties.
"I never got to play with other kids. The ones I did meet were rich too, but they weren't very nice. Of course, my parents didn't notice. Do you know a lot of kids, Soujiro?"
He wasn't sure how he'd answer. "Well…I do a lot of work. My family doesn't let me out often…so I guess I really don't know anyone else. But it's not so bad."
Kadori looked at Soujiro. "Wow…you do so much work Soujiro! Those barrels are really heavy. You must be so strong to be able to do so much work all by yourself. I don't think I could manage it." She giggled to herself.
Soujiro's eyes were big. 'She thinks I'm strong?'
Suddenly Kadori clapped a hand to her mouth and cried out, "Oh dear…I should go home soon! My parents will be back! If I'm not there they'll get worried because I'm not allowed out when they leave because someone could kidnap me and demand lots of money. And they'd hate that."
Soujiro stood up. "You're leaving? But---"
Kadori frowned. "I'll come back! Usually I sneak out at night and go for walks. Of course there are lots of dangerous men out there but I can just hide, don't you know. My parents would probably die if they found out."
He sighed, relieved. "So you can come back?" For some reason, he really didn't want to see Kadori go.
"Well," she said, "I could come tomorrow, late at night, if you're still awake. Since your family might be home during the day, at least at night they'll be sleeping so I won't disturb them. Maybe I can help you with your chores again. But don't worry, you're my only friend so it'd be pretty stupid of me to just leave you by yourself and never come back!"
"A………friend?"
"Of course we're friends, Soujiro! Or at least, I'm the only other kid you know and you're the only other kid I know. So that counts too I guess. Anyway, bye!" Kadori waved and smiled at Soujiro as she walked over to her ball. She threw it over the wall and climbed some barrels stacked against it. He heard her fall over on the other side.
And Soujiro felt himself smile…really smile.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kadori sneaked back into her house. She wasn't sure who would be in the house already, be it a nanny or her parents. 'Hopefully no one,' she thought.
Unfortunately, as she turned a corner in a hallway, Kadori came upon her parents. "Kadori! I am shocked at you. Look what you've done to your pretty pink kimono!"
Kadori sighed and tuned out her parents as they started to argue with each other. It was always the same.
"Dear, we can just buy her another one."
"Yes, but that one did cost a lot of money."
"Well what if we get her something else then?"
"Hmmm…that should make her happy."
Instead, she thought of Soujiro. He was really different from all of the other kids she'd met (and hated). Kadori thought of his smile, and how it really never seemed to leave his face. Soujiro must be happy all of the time. But… 'Why was he all bruised? I wonder if he falls down a lot. But Soujiro's strong enough to carry those barrels all by himself. I wonder why…'
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Soujiro waited patiently while his 'family' checked the rice in the shed. He smiled to himself. 'They can't find anything wrong today. Kadori and I made sure that they were all put away right.' Soujiro thought. But he didn't notice his two brothers sneaking out a barrel and breaking it.
So he was shocked when one brother called out, "Hey look! Looks like Soujiro forgot one! And it's broken, too."
Soujiro gasped and stared helplessly at the rice on the ground. "But…" he whispered.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"I see. Your family is pretty evil as well." Shishio said. He eyed Soujiro and then asked, "So are you going to tell me why you're still smiling even after they beat you?"
Soujiro, who had been sitting with his head in his hands, looked up. The customary smile was on his face. "Hmmm? Oh………heh…y-you're right, it is a little strange…but…when I first got here, I did cry when they hit me and I got angry when they yelled at me. But the more I reacted to them…they'd call me selfish or noisy, and it would just get worse. When I would just smile and put up with it they'd get sick of it and stop. Even if I felt bad…even if I hated it…if I just kept smiling…"
Soujiro continued, "I can't help it, I'm not really a part of this family because of my parents so it's all my fault."
"You're wrong." Shishio interrupted.
Soujiro looked up in surprise.
"This doesn't have anything to do with how you were born. If anything's the cause of this, it's your weakness. In the end, only the fittest survive in this world. If you're strong you live, if you're weak, you die. No matter how good you get at hiding behind a smile or burying your emotions, you can't escape from this one truth."
Soujiro was silent. 'If you're strong you live…if you're weak…you die?' Kadori's face appeared in his mind. 'You must be so strong to be able to do so much work all by yourself. I don't think I could manage it.'
He thought, 'But Kadori thinks I'm strong…'
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Notes:
I'm actually planning for this to be a bit long, so I split it into two parts. The past, and then what happens after Soujiro's battle with Kenshin.
As for ages, Soujiro and Kadori are basically the same age, with a few months or so in between. In the anime I don't believe they enclosed his age in the flashback, so I'm just gonna go with him being 9 (this might change later). Soujiro's current age when he's fighting with Kenshin is also disputed (some say 15, 18 or 22) so I'm going to go with 19. That gives him 10 years to study with Shishio and so he won't be so old when I have other parts of the story happen.
And if you have any questions or concerns, please leave a note in the review box! And if you don't, then please do it anyway!
silent H
