Title: Season 4 Bent Style
Episode: 4.03
Episode Title: Return To Middle Earth, Or Something Like That
Author: Bent137
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own any of it despite my acting as a writer for the show.
Author's Notes: Thanks to Roxy, who beta'd this chapter too.
Spoilers: Season Four Episode Three. Yes, I did say Season 4, as in the one not aired at all yet.

Gilmore Girls
Episode 4.03
Return To Middle Earth, Or Something Like That

Writer: Ashley/Bent137
Executive Producer: Daniel Palladino
Director: Amy Sherman-Palladino

Starring:

Lauren Graham

Alexis Bledel

Melissa McCarthy

Scott Patterson

Liza Weil

and

Kelly Bishop

special appearance by Edward Herrmann

CLIPS

INT. RORY'S ROOM - DAY

The camera pans across the bedroom, RORY GILMORE is in bed. The door opens silently and LORELAI GILMORE enters the room. She creeps over to RORY and shakes her.

ALEXIS BLEDEL (VOICEOVER)

Previously on Gilmore Girls...

LORELAI GILMORE

Hey kiddo, get up.

RORY moans. LORELAI shakes her again.

LORELAI

Come on, you're going to be late to Yale. It's nine o'clock.

RORY sits up suddenly.

INT. NEW HAVEN - YALE - DURFEE HALL - DAY

The tour has just ended and girls are heading off in various directions. RORY heads to her suite. Another girl, TANNA, follows her. RORY notices her following her into Suite 5.

RORY

Uh, hi.

TANNA

Hi. I'm Tanna, I must be one of your suitemates.

INT. NEW HAVEN - YALE - SUITE 5 - DAY

RORY and TANNA return to the suite laughing. PARIS and a young man, TERRENCE are standing near the windows.

PARIS

Rory, surprise!

RORY

Paris? What are you doing here?

PARIS

I'm your suitemate. Aren't you shocked?

INT. SOOKIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT

LORELAI, SOOKIE, and JACKSON are drinking champagne.

LORELAI

The Independence Inn is closing. Not closing, closed. We're finished. It's all over. They're boarding the place up as we speak. I've got another little piece of news for you. We can't buy the Dragonfly because I can't swing my share of the money because I no longer have a steady income.

INT. CHILTON - DAY

LORELAI and RORY are talking in the hall.

RORY

Go put in the bid on the Dragonfly. You've got the money now, Grandpa's money.

EXT. CHILTON - DAY

LORELAI has written "We Got The Inn!" on a graduation program and is showing it to Rory.

TEASER

1 INT. YALE - SUITE 5 - DAY

RORY GILMORE comes out of her and Paris' room and heads out the door. Before she opens it it swings open and a girl, JANET, comes in.

JANET

Oh hi, I don't think we've met. I'm Janet.

RORY GILMORE

I'm Rory.

JANET

Pleased to meet you. I'd hug you or something, but I'm all sweaty. I just finished jogging. It's so beautiful out this morning. Very crisp and fall like.

RORY

I see, I'd love to chat Janet-

JANET

But you've got to get to class, and I've got to take a shower. I'll see you later.

RORY

Yeah, later.

JANET heads for her room. RORY leaves.

2 INT. YALE - CLASSROOM - DAY - MUSIC: SAM PHILLIPS CUE

RORY enters apprehensively. She's the only one there. She double checks the number on the door and takes a seat at the end of a long table. It has chairs all down one side, facing a black board. She sets her things down and begins to read. After a moment she squirms and looks around. She's still the only one there. She goes back to reading but quickly stops and puts her book back with her things. She begins gathering her things to leave when a boy, MARTY comes in and sits at the opposite end of her table. RORY settles back in. MARTY fiddles with his notebook as RORY goes back to reading. She keeps glancing at him over her book. Finally she sets it down and opens her mouth to say something when the door opens and an older student comes in. He begins placing papers at each seat. He's obviously the T.A. He barely glances at RORY or MARTY as he puts papers at their seats. When he's finished he goes to the door.

T.A. (MUTTERING)

Freshmen. So predictable.

He leaves.

3 INT. SOOKIE'S KITCHEN - DAY

SOOKIE ST. JAMES-MELVILLE and LORELAI GILMORE are at the table. Papers are spread over it and they're signing them.

LORELAI GILMORE

Are you all set for the party this afternoon?

SOOKIE ST. JAMES-MELVILLE

Definitely. I'll probably change the menu a million times between now and then but you know me.

LORELAI

It's Lord of The Rings themed remember.

SOOKIE

Got it.

LORELAI

And if you need any help with ideas, well, ask Dean, because I slept through most of both movies.

SOOKIE

Okay, making a mental note. You don't know anything about Lord of The Rings.

LORELAI

Aside from Viggo Mortenson's hot? No. One more signature and we're all set.

SOOKIE signs with flourish.

SOOKIE

That's it. The last one. Now they can start remodeling the inn.

LORELAI

Well, these are just quotes, and applications and, I'm not really sure. Maybe I should have asked Luke for help.

SOOKIE

Maybe that would have been a good idea.

CREDITS

ACT ONE

4 INT. YALE - SUITE 5 - DAY

There's a knock at the door. TANNA answers it. EMILY GILMORE is on the other side.

TANNA

Hello. May I help you?

EMILY GILMORE

Hello. I'm Rory Gilmore's grandmother.

TANNA

Oh, was she expecting you? Because she's at class right now.

EMILY

Oh no, I thought I'd surprise her. You mind if I come in, look around, wait for her.

TANNA

Oh no, of course not. Come on in.

TANNA lets EMILY in.

TANNA (CONT.)

Everyone's out except me. I'm sorry, I can't stay and entertain you, I have a class to go to as well.

EMILY

That's fine. Education is very important. Go ahead.

TANNA

Thank you Mrs. Gilmore. Have a nice day.

EMILY

You too dear.

TANNA grabs her bag and leaves. EMILY waits a moment then goes back to the door. She motions for someone in the hall to come in. Two MEN come in.

EMILY

Please take out this old furniture and bring in the new.

MAN 1

Yes Ma'am.

5 INT. YALE - SUITE 5 - DAY

RORY and JANET run into each other outside the door.

JANET

Well hello again Rory.

RORY

Hello Janet.

They enter the suite and stop.

JANET


What the heck happened?

RORY

I have no clue. I wonder if Paris or Tanna did it?

PARIS GELLAR comes up behind them.

PARIS GELLAR

Did what?

RORY and JANET move aside. Most of the living room furniture is gone. In it's place is a red couch with black cushions, two different funky chairs, one purple and yellow, one red with a foot stool. There's also a coffee table shaped like a stack of books and two matching end tables.

PARIS (CONT.)

What the -

RORY

Paris.

PARIS

Who stole our furniture?

JANET

Oh yeah, thieves really like to steal crappy dorm furniture and leave real expensive stuff in it's place.

Before PARIS can respond TANNA comes out of her room.

RORY

Tanna? Did you do this?

TANNA

No, it was like this when I got back.

RORY

Who did this?

TANNA

Maybe your Grandmother?

RORY

My what?

TANNA

Your Grandmother, she was here today. Didn't you see her?

RORY

No.

PARIS

Rory, she's right.

PARIS hands RORY a note. It reads "Hope you like the new furniture. Call me! See you Friday. - Grandma."

RORY

I can't believe she did this! That is so typical.

PARIS

What is?

RORY

She always does things she thinks are for my own good without even asking me. Like remember my birthday party?

PARIS

Oh, yeah. That was her?

RORY

None other.

PARIS

Poor you.

RORY

I'm sorry guys. I really am. If you want it back I'll get it back. I'm make her bring it all back and take this stuff away. She has some nerve-

JANET

Rory, breathe. It's okay. At least, with me. I kind of like it.

TANNA

I like it too.

PARIS

Me three. It's kind of funky, yet still functional. She may do things without asking you Rory, but your Grandmother has some taste.

RORY

Are you sure? Was any of the stuff yours?

TANNA

The couch was mine, but I bought it at a garage sale, so this is definitely better.

RORY

Okay, as long as everyone's happy.

TANNA, PARIS, and JANET nod.

RORY (CONT.)

Okay, excuse me.

RORY goes to her room.

6 INT. YALE - RORY'S ROOM - DAY

RORY picks up the phone and dials. Intercut with LORELAI at Luke's.

LORELAI

Lorelai's Odd Jobs, you got somethin' that needs doin' we'll do it.

RORY

Mom?

LORELAI

Hey sweetie what's up? And give me the condensed version I don't have much time.

RORY

Grandma came today.

LORELAI

Uh oh.

RORY

Yeah.

LORELAI

What'd she do?

RORY

Replaced all the furniture in our common room.

LORELAI

You're kidding.

RORY

I'm not. I wish I were.

LORELAI

How angry is everyone?

RORY

I'm the only one angry. Everyone else is fine with it.

LORELAI

Amazing. Look, I gotta get going. I gotta go to work but-

RORY

What work?

LORELAI

Sookie and I are catering a Lord of The Rings themed birthday party. Listen, take some pictures with your digital camera and send them to me. Once I see them we'll discuss how much butt I need to kick okay?

RORY

Okay mom.

LORELAI

Love you sweetie.

RORY

Love you too.

LORELAI

Bye.

7 INT. STARS HOLLOW - BIRTHDAY PARTY HOUSE - DAY

LORELAI is sitting on the couch amidst cardboard cut outs of characters from the movie and balloons. A box labels "LOTR Costumes" is at her feet. Next to her is a BOY dressed as FRODO.

LORELAI

Come on give me the ring.

FRODO BOY

No.

LORELAI

Come on, you can trust me.

FRODO BOY

I said no.

LORELAI (GOLLUM VOICE)

But I needsss my precioussss.

FRODO BOY looks at her funny.

LORELAI

Come on. Gollum? You know. Nevermind.

FRODO BOY

It sucked.

LORELAI is about to respond when a woman, HELEN walks in with two more boys.

HELEN

Here's two more Hobbits for you.

LORELAI

Great. Let's get you guys all dressed up.

BOY 1

I want to be Aragon!!

BOY 2

No! I'm Aragon.

BOY 1

Nu uh, Me!

LORELAI

Boys, calm down. One of you can be Aragon. One can be Legolas. Can you decide that amongst yourselves?

The boys glare at each other.

LORELAI

Okay. We'll flip a coin.

She pulls a quarter out of her back pocket.

LORELAI

When's your birthdays?

BOY 1

March 5th

BOY 2

January 14th.

LORELAI points at BOY 2.

LORELAI

Call it.

She tosses it in the air.

BOY 2

Heads.

LORELAI catches it and looks at it.

LORELAI

Heads!

BOY 2

Yes! I'm Aragon.

LORELAI

and I'm Lorelai

A GIRL dressed as ARWEN who was playing with cards on the floor looks up.

ARWEN GIRL

You said your name was Julie.

BOY 1

Well it's Lorelai, you stupid head.

ARWEN GIRL

I was here before you! She told me she's Julie, our cruise dictator!

LORELAI

Director.

ARWEN GIRL (CONT. IGNORED LORELAI)

Besides. I got a gold star in spelling, you got a happy face.

BOY 1

So?

ARWEN GIRL

Everyone knows Gold Stars are better!

LORELAI

Kids. Now, it doesn't matter if I'm Lorelai or Julie or even Gandalf. You should play peacefully and lovingly. Because the Lord of The Rings is all about peace and love.

FRODO BOY

Nuh, uh, it's about the destruction of all mankind.

LORELAI sighs deeply and Helen comes up and pulls her aside.

HELEN

Did you bring swords? Because some kids are asking for them.

LORELAI

No, I didn't.

HELEN

Good.

HELEN smiles at LORELAI.

END ACT ONE

ACT TWO

8 INT. STARS HOLLOW - BIRTHDAY PARTY - DAY

LORELAI is sitting in the middle of the floor struggling with some fabric and a trashcan. Nearby some kids are playing with plastic swords. Sookie walks through with a platter of food.

LORELAI

Hey Sookie.

SOOKIE

Hey hun.

HELEN comes in and kneels next to LORELAI

HELEN

Um, what are you doing.

LORELAI

I'm disguising this trashcan as "Mt. Doom" so we can play a game where the kids throw their swords in it.

HELEN

Okay, let me help. It's my husband's fault anyways.

LORELAI

Nah, it's no problem.

HELEN

Yeah it is. He's like a big kid.

They glance to where a MAN is fencing with a boy using plastic swords.

LORELAI

It's almost done.

She adjusts it a little.

LORELAI

There. Why don't you get them started and I'll go check on things in the dining room.

HELEN

What do I do?

LORELAI

I don't know, tell them the swords are evil and influencing them to make bad decisions and they have to get rid of them by throwing them in Mt. Doom?

HELEN

Okay. Kids, gather round. We're going to play a game.

LORELAI goes into the dining room. SOOKIE is setting a candle on the table. The table's covered with a white tablecloth and has two silver platters on either end.

LORELAI

Sookie hun, whatcha doin'?

SOOKIE

Setting the table.

LORELAI

I see that.

There's a pause as LORELAI looks at it slightly concerned.

LORELAI

Well, carry on.

9 INT. YALE - SUITE 5 - DAY

PARIS comes into her and RORY'S room, laden down with books. She sets them on the bed and turns to RORY, whom is on her own bed reading.

PARIS

Hey.

RORY

Hey.

PARIS

Did you hear about the party?

RORY

Yup

PARIS

First party of the year.

RORY

Wow.

PARIS

Held on our floor.

RORY

That's what the flier said.

PARIS

So, is it okay to leave the door open?

RORY

I'd really rather not. It'll be noisy, and there'll be people wandering around and-

PARIS

I get your point.

PARIS picks up her phone and dials.

PARIS

Hi, Lorelai? Paris. Yeah I'm doing good. Birthday party? Oh have fun. Oh, the first party of the year is on our floor and I want to leave the door open, but Rory said she'd rather not, what do you think? Really? Should I tell her that? Okay. Rory, she thinks you're a stick in the mud who needs a little fun.

RORY

As if you're actually talking to my mother.

PARIS holds out the phone, RORY takes it.

RORY

Hello? Mom. Yeah, okay. Alright have fun. Right. Love you too. Bye.

RORY hangs up PARIS' phone and hands it back to her.

RORY

Fine, leave the door open.

PARIS

Thank you Rory.

10 INT. YALE - DURFEE HALL - MID PARTY - NIGHT - MUSIC: DIDO - WHITE FLAG; MANDY MOORE - HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN ME

PARIS is leaning against the wall outside Suite 5. The crowd parts and Madeline and Louise come rushing up to her.

MADELINE and LOUISE

Paris!

PARIS

Guys! What are you doing here?

LOUISE

Enjoying the party.

MADELINE

Yeah there's some hot guys here.

PARIS

I should have known. Hold on a minute.

PARIS leans in Suite 5.

PARIS

Rory! Come here.

RORY comes out.

RORY

What?

She sees Madeline and Louise.

RORY

Madeline! Louise! I didn't think I'd see you.

MADELINE

I know, small world huh.

RORY

The smallest. Do you go to Yale?

MADELINE

Oh no, we're just in town for the party.

LOUISE

So you and Paris are roommates?

RORY

Yeah, amazing huh?

LOUISE

Sure is. Listen, we're going to go, uh, party. We'll stop by on our way out.

RORY

Bye guys.

LOUISE and MADELINE disappear into the crowd.

PARIS

I'm going to go mingle too.

RORY

Okay.

PARIS goes in the opposite direction of MADELINE and LOUISE. RORY sighs and leans against the wall. Across the hall and down about 7 feet she spots MARTY. She pushes off the wall and heads towards him. Suddenly her path is interrupted bye two blond girls, MICKEY and KICK, who are twins.

MICKEY

Hi. Are you Rory Gilmore?

RORY

Yes.

KICK

Gil?

MICKEY


Rickey?

RORY

Excuse me, what are you doing?

KICK

Oh we're just trying to give you a nickname.

RORY

and you are?

KICK

I'm Kick, and she's Mickey.

RORY

Okay. Um, am I supposed to know you?

MICKEY

Well, my real name's Michelle, Mickey's just a nickname. Like Kick is just a nickname for Kirsten. We got them in Cheerleading.

RORY

I see, I still don't know how you seem to know me.

KICK

Your grandmother asked for us to look for you.

RORY

Look for me?

MICKEY

Our mother is a friend of Emily's, they're in the DAR together. When she found out we were going to Yale she asked us to look you up and make sure you fell in with the right crowd.

RORY

I see. Um, I have to go find my roommate.

RORY heads back to Suite 5. MICKEY and KICK follow her. RORY sits on the couch and they sit on either side of her.

KICK

Wow, cool furniture. Yours?

RORY

My grandmother bought it.

MICKEY

She has great taste. If only our mother did.

RORY looks back and forth between the two then towards the door. With a sigh she settles into the couch.

KICK

Out mother's taste is so heinous.

MICKEY

She painted our hallway eggshell. Really, who uses eggshell anymore?

KICK

Aside from Hilda on Trading Spaces.

MICKEY

Eggshell is so out.

KICK

Antique white is so in.

11 INT. YALE - SUITE 5 - PARTY - NIGHT - MUSIC: WHITE STRIPES - 7 NATION ARMY

PARIS is standing in the middle of a group of people.

GUY 1

There's really no money to be had in criminalistics, it's become a glamour job.

GUY 2

What's so glamourous about wading around in blood and bile.

PARIS opens her mouth to say something but someone interrupts her.

GIRL 1

It's all these crime dramas. They make is seem so fancy. I mean, have you seen the heels Marg Helgenberger wears on C.S.I. Seriously now.

GUY 2

Oh yeah, I've seen them

GUY 1

Anyone who majors in criminalistics is an idiot.

GIRL 2

Oh yeah, and interior design is so much better.

PARIS sighs and slinks out of the group looking annoyed. She walks over to where MICKEY and KICK are still sitting beside RORY.

KICK

Then there was the Debutante ball in Boston.

MICKEY

That was a hoot!

KICK

Tess McKerson's dress ripped on the way down the stairs.

MICKEY

Everyone could see her black lace thong.

PARIS taps RORY on the shoulder.

PARIS

I'm not having fun.

RORY

Well, the party's not over.

PARIS

I guess you're right. What's with Jessica and Elizabeth?

RORY

Their mother is friends with my grandma.

PARIS

Oh. Everyone's got a group but me.

RORY

What do you mean?

PARIS

Well you're here with the junior Hilton sisters, Janet's a runner so she'll be with the jocks near the keg, Tanna's a freak so she's in the John Nash group. I have nothing but bad talk radio.

RORY

What about the smart people?

PARIS

What smart people?

RORY looks around.

RORY

Maybe they all stayed in. You know, if you want I can kick everyone out so we can go to bed.

PARIS takes a deep breath.

PARIS

No, I'll just have to try harder. I want things to be different this year.

RORY

They will be.

They smile but are interrupted by a drunk guy stumbling over to PARIS

GUY 3

Will you pierce my ear?

PARIS and RORY stare at him.

PARIS

That's it! Everybody out. Gather up your gross beer, your inane conversations, and your pathetic attempts at wittism and leave! Now!

PARIS physically pulls MICKEY and KICK up from the couch and shoves them to the door.

MICKEY

But we're with Rory!

RORY

Sorry guys, I think it's best if you go. But I'm sure I'll see you around campus.

MICKEY and KICK are the last two out the door. PARIS shuts it behind them then turns to find RORY sitting on the couch smiling happily.

END ACT TWO

ACT THREE

12 INT. STARS HOLLOW - BIRTHDAY PARTY - NIGHT

The kids are gathered in front of the TV watching "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers." They are completely entranced by the movie. In the doorway HELEN and LORELAI are watching them.

HELEN

The food should be ready when the movies over.

LORELAI

Absolutely. Excuse me.

LORELAI walks to the dining room and looks around. There are platters all over covered with fancy looking food such as quail eggs, blanched vegetables with lemon garlic aoli etc. LORELAI looks concerned and approaches SOOKIE.

LORELAI

Sookie honey?

SOOKIE

Yeah.

LORELAI

Where's the kids' table?

SOOKIE

Oh there is no kids' table. I'm mixing and matching, I thought it would be easier that way.

LORELAI

Uh, okay, where's the kids' food?

SOOKIE

Relax, I haven't gotten it out yet.

A MAN brings in a platter of gravlox.

SOOKIE

Thank you.

The MAN leaves.

LORELAI

What is that?

SOOKIE

It's the kid's food silly.

LORELAI looks striken but before she can say anything to Sookie ARWEN GIRL walks into the kitchen.

ARWEN GIRL

I'm hungry.

SOOKIE holds out the platter of gravlox

SOOKIE

Here you go honey.

ARWEN GIRL

What's that?

SOOKIE

It's gravlox.

ARWEN GIRL wrinkles her nose.

ARWEN GIRL

Ew. I don't know what that is.

LORELAI

Sookie, where's the rest of the food?

SOOKIE

In the kitchen.

ARWEN GIRL takes a carrot off of the blanched vegetables platter and licks it. She makes a face and puts it back.

ARWEN GIRL

This stuff tastes like diapers.

SOOKIE looks horrified and starts hyperventilating. LORELAI runs into the kitchen and comes back with some crackers.

LORELAI

Here you go honey. Now go back in and finish watching the movie.

ARWEN GIRL takes the crackers and goes back into the living room. LORELAI wraps an arm around SOOKIE and leads her to the kitchen where she gives her a paper bag to breathe in.

LORELAI

Calm down Sookie.

LORELAI looks around spying the MAN from earlier and a WOMAN. They are garnishing platters of food that does not look like normal kids' food. LORELAI wanders over to them.

SOOKIE

What are you doing?

LORELAI

Where's the kids' food?

SOOKIE

That is the kids' food!

LORELAI

I'll be right back.

She exits out the back door.

13 INT. DOOSE'S MARKET - NIGHT

LORELAI is next in line at the counter. She sets her basket on the counter and TAYLOR, who is working the register, begins ringing up cans of frosting, sprinkles, and boxes of frozen finger foods.

TAYLOR

I thought you were catering a birthday party on Ann St.

LORELAI

I am, we just needed some last minute supplies.

TAYLOR

Last minute supplies? Looks like all the food was last minute.

LORELAI pays him.

LORELAI

Well, not the adult food.

LORELAI leaves and TAYLOR looks after her funny.

14 INT. STARS HOLLOW - BIRTHDAY HOUSE - NIGHT

The kitchen is bustling as LORELAI fills a dish with something and the MAN helper takes another to the dining room. A buzzer goes off.

LORELAI

That's the cupcakes. Get them out and cool as quick as you can.

She tosses the mitt to the WOMAN helper. SOOKIE hovers nearby.

SOOKIE

Great I'll frost them.

LORELAI

No you won't. We're going to let the kids do that.

SOOKIE

Well, what can I do?

LORELAI

Help me take some of this food to the kids.

SOOKIE

Great.

She grabs the platter of gravlox. LORELAI takes it from her and gives her a bowl of pizza bites.

SOOKIE

What are these?

LORELAI

Pizza bites.

SOOKIE

But I had kid food.

LORELAI

But it was weird kid food Sookie. Kid's don't eat weird food.

SOOKIE gets upset and starts blinking back tears. LORELAI sighs and takes back the pizza bites handing them to the MAN helper.

LORELAI

Sookie, I don't mean anything by taking over like this. You're a great chef, when it comes to fancy food. Kids are hard though. They don't like weird things. If they can't tell what it is, they don't eat it. I had an eight year old. She had eight year old friends, and lets face it, my tastes are not that far from an eight year old's! This will work.

SOOKIE

But I am a great chef!

LORELAI

You are!

SOOKIE

Great chefs do not let the client decorate their own cupcakes!

LITTLE GIRL 1 walks into the kitchen.

LITTLE GIRL 1

Can I have a juice box?

SOOKIE

There is perfectly fine lemonade out there.

LITTLE GIRL 1 stares at her a moment then scrunches up her face. Her chin wobbles and her face turns red as she opens her mouth.

SOOKIE

What's she doing? Is she sick? Why's the mouth open?

LORELAI hurries over to the fridge and gets a juice box. She hands it to the girl who immediately relaxes and leaves the kitchen. LORELAI turns to SOOKIE.

LORELAI

Sookie, you and I need to have a little talk.

SOOKIE

We do?

LORELAI

Yes, I'm going to explain some things to you.

SOOKIE

What things?

LORELAI

Things about kids. Things like kiddie food.

END ACT THREE

ACT FOUR

15 INT. STARS HOLLOW - BIRTHDAY PARTY - NIGHT - MUSIC: SAM PHILLIPS CUE

LORELAI and SOOKIE are sitting on the back porch alone.

SOOKIE

Maybe I'm not cut out for this. Oh god, what am I doing? I can't be a mom! I know nothing about kids.

LORELAI

It's okay Sookie. I didn't know anything about kids and look how Rory turned out.

SOOKIE

Thanks. I'm still worried though. Rory was a fluke. My kid probably won't be that nice, or quiet, or smart. Oh man. What am I going to do? I'm going to have a loud obnoxious dumb kid! My kid's going to be a bully. I'll be getting calls from the school and parents.

LORELAI

You won't if you teach him or her not to be a bully.

SOOKIE

Can I do that though? I don't know if I can. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a mom. I'm not a teacher, and I'm not patient.

LORELAI

If you weren't meant to be a mom you wouldn't have gotten pregnant. Besides, you don't have to be a teacher, or be patient. I was 16 when I had Rory so we all know I wasn't a teacher and even now I'm not patient.

SOOKIE

What was it like?

LORELAI

What was what like?

SOOKIE

Having this little, person, so dependent on you for everything.

LORELAI

It was incredible. There's really nothing like it. I mean sure, at first it's daunting and you're tempted to hate the little guy or girl for putting you through so much pain and putting you into this position which you can't get out of. Then the nurses will clean your baby all up and hand it to you and you'll gaze into those little eyes and wonder how you functioned without him or her.

SOOKIE

Really?

LORELAI


Really. The rest will come naturally, well, fairly naturally. It's like an animal instinct, but of course, being humans, we had to make it as complicated as possible.

SOOKIE

Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better.

LORELAI

No problem sweetie.

16 INT. RORY AND PARIS' ROOM - NIGHT

RORY and PARIS are getting ready for bed, folding down covers, brushing hair, etc.

RORY

You know, Paris?

PARIS

Yeah?

RORY

I don't really have a group either. So you have nothing to worry about. Besides, I don't think we've been here long enough to make many friends or have a group. Unless it's some crazy sorority or a doomsday cult.

PARIS

Rory?

RORY

Hmm?

PARIS

Are you and I friends?

RORY

Sure we are. That is if you want to be?

PARIS

I do.

The two girls turn out the light and get into their beds. The room is silent a moment.

PARIS

Rory?

RORY

Paris?

PARIS

I'm sorry.

RORY

For what?

PARIS

For treating you so badly in high school. It really wasn't about you, you know. I was just jealous.

RORY

Let's save this conversation for another time okay?

PARIS

Okay.

17 INT. RORY AND PARIS' ROOM - NIGHT (LATER THAN PREVIOUS SCENE)

RORY wakes up and gets out of bed. She shoves her feet into her slippers and pulls on a robe.

PARIS

Rory?

RORY

Just going to the bathroom, go back to sleep.

PARIS

Okay.

RORY goes out through the common room and into the hall. She stops suddenly. MARTY is on the hallway floor completely naked, asleep. RORY nudges his shoulder gently with her slippered foot. MARTY wakes up and looks up at her.

MARTY

Huh? Where am I?

RORY

The first floor of Durfee.

MARTY

I fell asleep

RORY nods.

MARTY (CONT.)

and I'm naked.

MARTY looks up at RORY whom nods.

MARTY (CONT.)

Where are my clothes?

RORY shrugs.

RORY

No clue.

RORY takes of her robe and drapes it over him.

RORY

I think you need this more than me.

MARTY

Thanks. You're in my class right? The um, one with the professer? Crap. I can't remember.

RORY

American Literature 101.

MARTY

Yeah that's it.

RORY

Yeah I am. I'm Rory.

MARTY

I'm Marty.

RORY

Nice to meet you?

MARTY

I'll return the robe.

RORY nods and heads down the hall.

18 INT. RICHARD GILMORE'S OFFICE - DAY

RICHARD GILMORE is sitting at his desk. There's a knock at his office door.

RICHARD GILMORE

Come in!

His secretary, KAREN, pokes her head in.

KAREN

A Jason Stiles is here to see you.

RICHARD

Really? Send him in.

KAREN exits. A moment later JASON STILES enters.

RICHARD

Jason. What brings you here?

JASON STILES

Richard, long time no see.

RICHARD

Yes, yes. Now excuse me for not asking how your father is but as you have probably guessed he and I are not on very good terms.

JASON

Yes, I guessed as much. When I took over your job at the company-

RICHARD

You took over my job?

JASON

Yes, but that's not why I'm here.

RICHARD

Then why are you here?

JASON

I would like you to help me screw over my father.

RICHARD

I see. Is there a reason?

JASON

Yes. He's done a great deal to piss me off lately, and frankly I think he's running the company into the ground.

RICHARD

So is this a petty father son dispute?

JASON

Only that in I happen to be his son. Will you help me?

RICHARD

I'll see.

JASON

Thank you. So, how's Emily and Lorelai?

RICHARD

Emily's fine. As is Lorelai.

JASON

I remember when we were kids she used to call me 'Digger.'

RICHARD


Well, she's got a child of her own now. She named her after herself, but we call her Rory.

JASON

Great. What grade is she in?

RICHARD

She's a freshman at Yale.

JASON looks stunned.

JASON

Wow, Lorelai was what? 15.

RICHARD

16.

JASON

Wow, that is young. Well, I have a meeting to get to. I'll call you with more details.

RICHARD

Okay, I'll tell Emily and Lorelai you asked after them.

JASON

That'd be great, thank you Richard. Have a nice day.

RICHARD

You too.

JASON leaves, RICHARD looks thoughtful.

END

Guest Starring:

Katherine Heigl - Janet

Wayne Wilcox - Marty

Ian Vogt - T.A.

Olivia Hack - Tanna

Tim DeKay - Man 1

Bret Loehr - Frodo Boy

Patrick Stogner - Boy 1

Jake Thomas - Boy 2

Carly Schroeder - Arwen Girl

Margaret Easley - Helen

Shelly Cole - Madeline

Teal Reddmann - Louise

Diane Klimaszewski - Mickey

Elaine Klimaszewski - Kick

Craig Hauer - Guy 1

Bourke Floyd - Guy 2

Fanny La Croix - Girl 1

Lindsay Sloane - Girl 2

Taylor Handley- Guy 3

Michael Winters - Taylor

Dakota Fanning - Little Girl 1

Evie Peck - Karen

Chris Eigeman- Jason Stiles