I awoke the next morning bright and early, as was my habit when I slept on cold, incredibly uncomfortable floors. My muscles screamed in protest as I tried to uncurl from the little ball I had forced my body into when trying to get as far away from the rat as I could. A quick glance around revealed the plague-carrying monster was gone. Maybe it knew Saitou would return.
The door creaked open and Yahiko sauntered in. He paused to look at the multi-assorted group cluttering the single cell. Reflexively I lowered my bangs over my eyes to watch him. Old habits died hard. Then again, I slept in a cell filled with psychotic towns people. Where's the sense in that?
Yahiko's eyes fell to his brother first and I followed his gaze. Misao had toppled off the bed and was now using Sano like a full body pillow. The man himself was flat on his stomach with limbs spread-eagle. His hair was all over the place and a bit of drool dribbled into the large puddle beneath his face. A slight, raspy grunt rumbled in his throat before fading away. Apparently, having a young girl laying full length on his back was no problem.
A slightly perverted smirk crossed his tanned face. Oh well, he was a pre-teenage boy. Not that it was an excuse, but I bet his hormones must be kicking in about now. His dark brown eyes roamed across to the corner where I had managed to prop myself up. His brows furrowed, considering. Then I swear he grew horns and mouthed the word's Ugly's boyfriend.
'Like you could ever get a woman.' Battousai snorted as I blushed internally.
His gaze wandered to the other two occupants. Katsu and Kamatari were one mess of limbs. It looked like Katsu was also being used as a pillow with Kamatari propped gently against his lean chest. Katsu's arms were loosely tucked around the other man's middle and Kamatari's head was lolled against his shoulder. Their legs were in a jumble. All in all it was cute… and disturbing.
Apparently Yahiko thought so too. He screamed.
'Like a girl.'
A lot of things happened at once after that.
Saitou walked in with Missus Tokio. Both of them looked startled for a split second at the boy's scream before Saitou sneered and Tokio blinked. They paused in the doorway, but Lobo prowled in, his sharp eyes flicking around.
Misao, not sleeping off a killer hang over, bounced up with knives ready. Unfortunately for Sano, that placed both her heels digging sharply in his lower back. With a pained grunt, the semi-conscious young man started to turn over causing Misao to lose her balance. With an ear-piercing shriek she flailed wildly before tipping over. Before I could so much as twitch, Sano had moved with surprising speed and steadied her. I doubt he was even half awake, but his drowsy mind was acting instinctively. It made me wonder if Aoshi's comment in the confessional might actually have some merit to it.
Lastly, the original offending pair stirred. Well, Kamatari did. He opened his eyes slowly and yawned. Not even noticing his 'pillow' he stretched cat-like and eyed everyone with lidded orbs lazily. He raised an eyebrow slightly in question. Soundlessly, Misao pointed behind him. He turned around and smiled.
"Well, no wonder I slept so well!"
"You… you freak!" Yahiko accused with pointed finger. Kamatari ignored him and set about standing up with the same fluid grace he had stretched with.
"Was I that drunk?" Sano rumbled. Misao realized that when he steadied her he had yet to remove his hands from her thighs. Without hesitation she swatted them with the flats of her blades. He yelped and retracted them causing her to stumble. She sat down. Hard. Right on Sano's chest. He wheezed, "Falling for me already?" That earned a punch in the head. I winced.
"You… you…" Yahiko sputtered like a broken record.
Kamatari looked him over, "Quite the little homophobic aren't you?"
Apparently this was getting nowhere fast. I distinctly remember dashing the cross dresser against the bars and Katsu being very drunk. How did they end up like that? Unless… I shuddered slightly. I hoped not. Well, we'd find out. Katsu groaned and rolled his eyes around.
"What were you doing sleeping with him?" Yahiko demanded wildly. A thunderous scowl was on his young face and his finger was pointed in the direction of Katsu.
The man in question groaned groggily, "You could people keep it down? I have a killer hangover headache here." There was a brief pause, "Sleep with who?"
"You and Kamatari were a bit close there buddy." Sano smirked. Misao had retreated next to me. I suppose she found me to be the only safe one. I, however, was not so sure I wanted the young woman to be next to me. She tended to be excitable. And when disturbed out came those sharp, metal knives. Accidents happen you know.
Katsu jumped like he had been lit on fire. Within seconds he was on his feet, clothing wrinkled and hair mussed, but very much awake. His eyes were blazing and he fixed them on the cross dresser who was humming and fixing his hair.
"What are they talking about?" He growled in a low voice.
Kamatari didn't bother to turn around, but I could hear the playful enjoyment in his voice at the situation. Judging Katsu's reaction what had happened wasn't on purpose and it scared the hell out of the man. Then again, not many wanted to be branded homosexual. A reputation like that could ruin a man. His fists clenched and his jaw was set.
"You grabbed me hon.," Kamatari explained slowly. "Kenny-boy knocked me a good one and when I came to, I tried to get across you. Apparently you missed your teddy bear because you snatched me right up. Well, why not? I'm so cuddly and huggable. I did try to extract myself, but alas, I was stuck tight. My, you have a nice body."
That snapped the cables to sanity. Within seconds the black hair man whipped out a small, smoking bomb in each hand. He expertly flicked his wrists sending them one after another at the startled he-she. Kamatari twisted away, once again reminding me of a cat, a very smug one.
We all held out breath as the twin missiles hurtled through the widely spaced iron bars, straight at Saitou and Tokio. The man moved with lightning speed stepping in front of his wife and battling them away with grim determination. He shot a bone-chilling glare at the shooter and the dodger. Burning eyes that promised retribution. Missus Tokio's face did a quick slideshow: surprise, pride, respect, and then pleasure. She settled on a faint smile.
We weren't smiling. When he flicked the bombs away they started rolling back towards us with very short fuses. Misao fidgeted nervously, trying to decide what to do. I edged away waiting for steel to fly. Just like the previous evening I had no idea how to disarm an already lit explosive. I dealt with people. People and guns. Not vengeful pyromaniacs with dynamite stashed up their sleeves.
There was a thump and some loud snoring. Momentarily distracted, my eyes flicked over to see Sano sprawled out on the floor without a conscious thought or care. Misao made a small noise and darted over trying to wake him up.
"Rooster head, you get up right now!" She screamed in frustrated fury, not bothering to hide her panic. She thumped his head on the ground as she shook his shirtfront soundly. He grabbed her wrist and mumbled, still asleep, "Just five more minutes."
Meanwhile, Katsu was casually leaning against the well watching with satisfied eyes as the two rolled towards the not-so-calm Kamatari. The cross dresser's doe colored eyes were wide with horror. They were fixated on the twin cylinders of destruction that had slid into the cell and bumped against the far wall. He implored Saitou, Tokio, and Yahiko, "Let us out before we all blow up!"
The former two seemed to be in a discussion and the boy was frozen with fear. What a way to go. Blown to bits. And I didn't even get to see Miss Kaoru one last time… wait, where did that come from?
Before I had time to even consider it there was a low noise. Smoke, dust, and shrapnel billowed everywhere. My ears were ringing and the force knocked me to the right, away from Kamatari and Katsu. I landed with a painful thump onto of something soft. Well, it was soft until it decided to stab me.
"This unworthy one is very, very sorry Miss Misao. I did no mean to land on you, that I did not." I apologized automatically before it registered that I was still alive.
"We're… we're alive." Miss Misao started out whispering, but ended up shouting. She bounced around in a happy jig. Sano looked around and coughed on the lung clogging dust.
'I bet Saitou did that to kill us.'
I didn't bother to reply. I think the wolf rather not have me point out that he saved his wife in front of some of the biggest blabber mouths in town. It was kind of like knowing to keep my mouth shut about his cooking. However, I was glad that he really did care for Missus Tokio, and I think she was too.
"Uh." Kamatari's voice sounded from within the deepest part of the smoke cloud. When it cleared I could see he was leaning heavily against the wall, his face white with pain. His arm was wedged under a large chunk of brick wall.
Katsu was standing, completely unharmed and unflustered in the same spot. There was an air of fulfilled satisfaction about him even though he was covered in fine powder from the demolished building. There was a good size hole in the back of the jail and some curious faces peering in, Miss Kaoru among them. When she spotted me she looked slightly guilty and I wondered why.
"Yahiko, please go get Doctor Megumi." Missus Tokio ordered quietly. She had opened the cell door and was kneeling by Kamatari. The cross dresser managed a weak smirk and admitted, "I really did it this time."
You shouldn't go around teasing madmen, I chided mentally. That you should not! How was it they always followed me? I never sought them out, while this crazy guy played push the buttons. I was a wonder we weren't all dead.
Saitou, swept past his wife to inspect the damage. His cold eyes glanced over us and he announced in a scathing voice, "Some one will have to pay for this damage. I hold all of you responsible."
"What? You gotta be kidding!" Sano protested, coming to after the explosion. He had his head in one hand and his eyes shut. They snapped open with a war-like gleam and he looked to be about to start a fight. Luckily, at that moment, Megumi came in distracting him temporarily. She professionally ignored the wreckage and the crowd of gawkers. She kneeled beside Kamatari and asked a few questions in a low voice.
"This unworthy one fails to see how we are accountable for such damages." I grated out. Battousai was chaffing at the bit in his eagerness to tear the detestable man to pieces.
"Yeah!" Miss Misao chimed it. "It's not our fault that Yahiko, the brat, came in and enlightened us! Or that Katsu got really mad and tried to blow us all up! Why do we have to pay?"
Saitou gave a hard stare and answered deadpan, "I said so."
"Well that's a stupid reason because you are wrong!" Miss Misao retorted hotly.
"Misao." Aoshi's cool voice cut her short. Immediately she was a happy, eager young lady again, rather than a raging weasel girl. The priest was standing aloof on the other side of the demolished wall looking nonplussed. "What is going on? Why are you in jail, on the wrong side of the bars?" His voice was deadly calm, undemanding, but I could sense he was very unhappy at the position of his charge.
She slunk over to him and Saitou challenged, "Where are you going Weasel Girl? You're bail has not been paid, and there is the matter of the jail."
Missus Tokio came up behind him and brush his arm. He glanced at her, but let the matter slide. That didn't stop him from watching Miss Misao with a slightly peeved look or hardening his eyes at Aoshi. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who didn't like the man of God.
"C'mon Foxy, it wasn't me this time, honest!" Sano protested and I could see Miss Megumi scowling at him.
"That is your friend."
"So?" Sano shrugged. Apparently, he'd never heard the saying about how your friends reflect upon you.
Miss Megumi shook her head before she spotted me. Kamatari had been freed from his imprisonment thanks to Sano and was flexing his arm to see how much it hurt. By the look on his face, it hurt a lot. Miss Megumi had already fixed it up and had whirled to deal with her more immediate problem.
Miss Kaoru spoke accusingly from beside me, making me jump out of my skin, "What happened Kenshin? Why are you in here? I sent you out for some fun, not to be thrown in jail."
"This unworthy one is very sorry Miss Kaoru. It is a funny stor- oof." That last bit was when Miss Megumi jumped me from behind.
"You are not hurt, are you Sir Ken?" She asked, brushing a hand against my forehead. Kaoru's face stormed over and she looked like a buffalo ready to charge. I winced and tried to extract myself from Miss Megumi's gripe assuring her I was fine. She wasn't going to let me off that easy.
I glanced around hoping Sano would once again save me. Unfortunately, he was arguing with a rather unimpressed, unmoved Saitou. Either Miss Megumi's behavior annoyed or hurt him or he simply lost interest. I wasn't sure which to think.
"That rooster head has no respect for others. His hooligan friend is even worse." Megumi pursed her lips before a sly grin slipped across her face, "You should not keep that sort of company. I am surprised Kaoru would let you go out for the night. Then again, considering her cooking who would want to stay?"
Kaoru was now red with anger and embarrassment.
"This unworthy one likes Miss Kaoru's cooking." I said meaning every word of it. I liked it because she made it. Great, now I sounded like a sappy romantic. Well, deigning my attraction wouldn't make it go away. It didn't make them any more appropriate either. She didn't want anything from me but my money, and that was the way I planned to keep it.
"Oh yes. I saw the work it did on that bear." Miss Megumi smirked and glanced at Miss Kaoru from the corner of her eye. "Then again, the more you eat of it the more chance you have of coming into the clinic with food poisoning. I would be happy to treat you Sir Ken."
Miss Kaoru grabbed my arm and yanked. I flew away from Miss Megumi and barely stopped myself from crashing into the undamaged part of the wall.
"Come on Kenshin, we are going home." Miss Kaoru growled and I wondered if she was angry with me.
"Where do you think you're taking him Raccoon Girl?"
She whirled on him, finally finding an outlet for her penned up anger. "You need to stop hanging around! Don't you have a life other than bothering poor Kenshin? He's done nothing to you, and you badger the hell out of him! I don't understand and I don't want to! Leave. Him. Alone."
I was torn between letting her go after him and telling the truth. I decided the former was far more amusing and less dangerous than the latter.
"So you want to pay your little pet's bail?" Saitou sneered. I wondered how they could ever be cousins.
"Bail?" Miss Kaoru echoed.
"Do your ears not work correctly? Bail. Money paid in order to release a criminal."
"Kenshin's not a criminal! I don't know why he was in there, but I bet that slacker Sanosuke had something to do with it!" She grabbed my hand and pulled. I followed after her.
"Battousai and I need to talk." Saitou's words halted me. Kaoru tugged, but I gently disengaged her hand. Flashing a reassuring smile I walked soundlessly back to the psycho sheriff. A small smirk played around his lips having gotten the reaction he wanted from me.
"Miss Kaoru, I need to speak with Saitou for a moment. If you could please excuse us?" She paused uncertainly but Missus Tokio pulled her aside.
"What do you want." I felt no need to be polite when I knew the favor was neither going appreciated nor returned. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Inhaling deeply he searched my face.
"You've change. I cannot imagine the famous assassin taking orders from a mere slip of a girl, such as my cousin."
I felt a smile creep up on my face at the mention of Miss Kaoru, but hid it swiftly. Saitou was not a man who appreciated sentiment; he scorned it. I wanted us to be on equal footing for whatever he had to say to me.
"It is difficult to see you with a wife." I said, returning fire. His face shifted and he glanced over to where Missus Tokio was still talking with Miss Kaoru.
"That is none of your concern." He remarked crisply.
I felt like telling him that my non-existent relationship with Miss Kaoru was also none of his concern. Instead I change the subject. The last thing I needed was to get in a fight with one of my old enemies.
"What did you wish to speak to me about?"
He paused, considering his words carefully. I could tell he was also making sure no one was close enough to ease drop. He flicked the butt of his cigarette to the ground and smashed it with his heel.
"Someone was at my cousin's place. Someone powerful, but who left their energy unmasked as if they wanted you to know. That same person visited my ranch, lifting one of Tokio's pair of earrings. Whatever they want, they are out for both of us."
I nodded. He was saying, in his own prideful way, that we needed to set aside our difference and work together. A temporary truce, until we could determine and deal with the threat. A thread of guilt slipped through me. I had accidentally gotten Miss Kaoru involved in whatever mess this was. I wasn't so naïve as to think that she would be overlooked, even if I left now. It was too late. The only thing I could do was stay near her and protect her. An equally pleasing and displeasing notion.
"Keep her safe or you will regret it." Saitou threatened lowly. His narrow eyes rested heavily on the two women before boring into me. I stared back; angered that he would think I would be frivolous with Miss Kaoru's life. I growled promisingly, "You do not have to worry. I will protect Miss Kaoru. With my life if need be."
A/N: Well, you people are not going to like this in the slightest, and I hope you read this author note, but I'm putting this story in hiatus (on hold) while I take a step back and take stock. Hopefully I'll get my act together soon, but no promises. While all of you are getting out of school/work, I'm now incredibly busy *whine*. I know it's not an excuse, but I'M NOT DISCONTINUING THIS. I WILL finish it, promise. So keep you're eyes open, okay? *runs before she's hung*
Weird One : Oh yes, and hopefully in 50 years I will not have had a surgery *is deathly afraid of needles and doctors. *blinks* No one said phobias were rational. There's absolutely no reason for me to be afraid of needles, yet I am, deathly so (I won't go into the things I say/do when I am/do come in contact with them). Besides, can you actually imagine Kenshin being afraid of a rat ^^; That just struck me as funny, picturing that. Yup, usually I would do them more justice, but it's all good.
MissBehavin: 1. One could hope ne? I kind view that pairing with misgivings because it seems to much like [figurial] incest to me. I mean, he practically raise her, right? 2. Battousai was egging Katsu on O__O;; 3. Yes, they do ^^;; but if I took away the knives and taped his mouth shut then the fun would end! 4. Woah there! Hold you horses! You may not abscond with my sheriff! And there may be a bit of reconciling 'tween the two. 5. Done
nina: @.@ ORO? I'm not sure how you managed that, but more power to you! Pairings are so top secret that if I told you I'd have to kill you... Okay, that's no fun. K/K, S/T, the rest are a messy jumble =D I could put the initials of first or last names if you want a hint: m/s/m/s/s. Oh, that didn't clear anything up did it?
Wistful-Eyes: Yay, someone else who likes Tomoe! I had to think of an *cough* innocent game that Misao would know that didn't actually need materials. No, Sano needs his intake, it will get him in a lot more trouble... Kenshin is fun. I don't usually go with the split persona thing either. Then again, I don't usually have the story in first person, kenshin as the main character, the story as a western, or as a comedy.
Fyyrrose: Pah, even void kitsunes have to play by the rules, so go seduce some guy. Besides, you know I'd be water ^__^ Hah, just, *pulls out stryafoam mallet as proof* look at this. Misao and knives, what a cringe-worthy combo there. Well, Lobo behaving indications a lot, but don't think Saitoh and he are going to be all buddy-buddy now. There is no firing squad, but I'm sure Saitoh would love to accomidate you. Never drank and never been around anyone who is drop dead drunk. You're sick. I've written more, just remember, the more I write the more you have to beta-read! *prances off*
