"You seem really distant lately" Martin eyes me as we take a seat in his
car.
"Distant, disappointed, same thing" I quip, fastening my seatbelt and glancing out the window.
"What are you disappointed about? We found Lianna and saved her. We've had cases that have ended a million times worse."
"I know."
"Then why are you so upset?"
"Can we just drop it?" I eye him seriously.
"Ok" he answers, pulling out of the parking garage. "You'll have to give me directions to your place." He eyes me.
"Make a right" I tell him, taking him around the federal building and to my apartment. We pull up in front and he eyes me with a quiet look.
"If you want to be alone" he offers the words and I glance up at him and see reluctant written all over his features.
"Maybe I should" I solemnly state, feeling my heart being crushed once again as I open the door handle and step outside. I shut the door behind me and walk up into my building without ever glancing back. I can't glance back, I won't. I feel tears meeting my eyes and realize I've only added one more mistake to the mess I already call my life. I shut Martin out, and as much as I may not love him, I need someone to cling on to right now.
I bang my hand against the door, feeling tears pour their way down my eyes as I feel myself falling. I find my key, sliding it into the door but not having the energy to turn it. I can't go home alone, not again. I've been alone far too long and every night it eats away at me.
I feel a hand on my shoulder and immediately move my hand to my face to wipe my runny mascara. "Samantha" I hear Martin's voice in my ear and watch as his other hand moves to turn the key and open the door for me.
"You don't have to" I tell him, feeling completely vulnerable and so alone in a world of so many faces.
"I want to" he offers the words, shutting the door behind him as he steps inside. "You look broken" he states the obvious and I let out a sigh and a shrug.
I move towards the sofa, burying myself in the cushions as I watch Martin take a seat across from me, on the edge of the coffee table. "Christmas is next week" he points out.
"Don't remind me" I let out a sigh and avert my gaze to anywhere but him. He watches me, my features, my face and moves his hand to wipe the pain away.
"You want to spend it together?"
"I don't know Martin." I wipe my eyes and want to bury my head in my hands. I can't though. I cover my face partially with my hand and let out a sigh.
"Come on Samantha, it'll be fun."
"What part of the lonely holiday will I enjoy more? Remembering I don't have any family to share it with, or remembering everyone I care about forgot me."
"I care about you and I haven't forgotten you. We're friends" he reminds me, moving his hands over mine, pulling it down from my face. "I know I'm probably not the person you want to spend Christmas with, but it's better then being alone, right?"
"I guess so" I whisper out with a sigh.
"Don't sound so disappointed," he eyes me seriously. "Besides who's forgotten about you?"
I glance out the window and watch the snow falling from the sky. I don't answer Martin's question. Instead I let out a soft breath and move to stand up. "Where are we ordering from?"
Martin takes his hands in mine when I rise from the sofa. "Samantha" his voice is soft and holding concern.
"I'm fine, really" I reassure him. "Just hungry. What are you in the mood for?"
"Anything that delivers." He answers with a smile. "The snow's piling up and I'd rather not go out, unless it's time for me to head home."
"Sounds good" I nod, glancing down at his hands over mine, and he releases his grip. I head into the kitchen, grabbing the number from the fridge. "What do you want to eat?"
"Whatever you're having." A few minutes later the order is placed and I head back on over towards the sofa to sit down. Martin takes a seat beside me glancing towards me with a smile.
"Distant, disappointed, same thing" I quip, fastening my seatbelt and glancing out the window.
"What are you disappointed about? We found Lianna and saved her. We've had cases that have ended a million times worse."
"I know."
"Then why are you so upset?"
"Can we just drop it?" I eye him seriously.
"Ok" he answers, pulling out of the parking garage. "You'll have to give me directions to your place." He eyes me.
"Make a right" I tell him, taking him around the federal building and to my apartment. We pull up in front and he eyes me with a quiet look.
"If you want to be alone" he offers the words and I glance up at him and see reluctant written all over his features.
"Maybe I should" I solemnly state, feeling my heart being crushed once again as I open the door handle and step outside. I shut the door behind me and walk up into my building without ever glancing back. I can't glance back, I won't. I feel tears meeting my eyes and realize I've only added one more mistake to the mess I already call my life. I shut Martin out, and as much as I may not love him, I need someone to cling on to right now.
I bang my hand against the door, feeling tears pour their way down my eyes as I feel myself falling. I find my key, sliding it into the door but not having the energy to turn it. I can't go home alone, not again. I've been alone far too long and every night it eats away at me.
I feel a hand on my shoulder and immediately move my hand to my face to wipe my runny mascara. "Samantha" I hear Martin's voice in my ear and watch as his other hand moves to turn the key and open the door for me.
"You don't have to" I tell him, feeling completely vulnerable and so alone in a world of so many faces.
"I want to" he offers the words, shutting the door behind him as he steps inside. "You look broken" he states the obvious and I let out a sigh and a shrug.
I move towards the sofa, burying myself in the cushions as I watch Martin take a seat across from me, on the edge of the coffee table. "Christmas is next week" he points out.
"Don't remind me" I let out a sigh and avert my gaze to anywhere but him. He watches me, my features, my face and moves his hand to wipe the pain away.
"You want to spend it together?"
"I don't know Martin." I wipe my eyes and want to bury my head in my hands. I can't though. I cover my face partially with my hand and let out a sigh.
"Come on Samantha, it'll be fun."
"What part of the lonely holiday will I enjoy more? Remembering I don't have any family to share it with, or remembering everyone I care about forgot me."
"I care about you and I haven't forgotten you. We're friends" he reminds me, moving his hands over mine, pulling it down from my face. "I know I'm probably not the person you want to spend Christmas with, but it's better then being alone, right?"
"I guess so" I whisper out with a sigh.
"Don't sound so disappointed," he eyes me seriously. "Besides who's forgotten about you?"
I glance out the window and watch the snow falling from the sky. I don't answer Martin's question. Instead I let out a soft breath and move to stand up. "Where are we ordering from?"
Martin takes his hands in mine when I rise from the sofa. "Samantha" his voice is soft and holding concern.
"I'm fine, really" I reassure him. "Just hungry. What are you in the mood for?"
"Anything that delivers." He answers with a smile. "The snow's piling up and I'd rather not go out, unless it's time for me to head home."
"Sounds good" I nod, glancing down at his hands over mine, and he releases his grip. I head into the kitchen, grabbing the number from the fridge. "What do you want to eat?"
"Whatever you're having." A few minutes later the order is placed and I head back on over towards the sofa to sit down. Martin takes a seat beside me glancing towards me with a smile.
