"So Kenshin, what do you think?"
Miss Kaoru was sitting easily on her bay quarter horse mare. The animal was slightly old, but I could tell Miss Kaoru took very good care of her.
"I do not know much about cattle Miss Kaoru." I admitted. Mentally I amended that. I knew that they tasted pretty good. Did that count?
"That's okay Kenshin." I glanced at her sideways. Her sapphire blue eyes were staring off into the distance, unfocused. Whatever she was thinking about had brought a small smile to her face. Abruptly she blinked violently and gently bit her bottom lip with her top teeth.
"Are you alright Miss Kaoru?"
"Huh? Oh, fine."
Fine my foot. Something had startled her, but if she didn't want to talk about it I wasn't going to force her. Just at that moment the beast I was seated on decided to shift. I suppose it was bored, but I wasn't paying attention. If I hadn't caught myself I would have ended up on my head. Shoot, with my luck I'd have buried it in a prairie dog hole and the horse would have stepped on me. If someone up above was trying out to get me, it'd be quite possible I'd either pass out or never have children.
Children. I did love the little squirts. I wonder if Miss Kaoru and I had children what they would look like. Shaking my head I blinked several times. Where had that come from!
"We should go into town and get food for dinner." She said, turning away from the same herd of heifers that were grazing.
I had made breakfast after finally convincing her that I was, indeed, capable of doing not only laundry, but cooking as well. She tasted it and seemed to melt. Well. Considering she'd been living off her own cooking for so long…
'No wonder she'd got such a nasty temper. I would too if I lived off that pig swell lover boy.'
Lover boy?
'That's what I call you. Your sweet on her, like a pathetic lovesick puppy. It's making me want to rolf. You should just ravage her. That's always good fun.'
My mouth dropped open and I cringed. Ravage her? What was he thinking? Sicko.
'Pediphile.' He returned with a smirk.
I choose, valiantly, to ignore him. Unfortunately, some of my internal struggle must have leaked out and Miss Kaoru was looking at me oddly. I gave her a wide, sweet smile. She growled under her breath. What does it take to impress a girl?
'Slamming her against the wall while pinning her arms…'
"Oro!"
"Kenshin, why are you acting so weird all of a sudden? Are you okay?"
At the risk of saying no and going to the clinic I forced a quick, slight nod. Battousai merely snickered.
The trip to town was uneventful. I didn't fall off my horse, Battousai actually shut up, and Miss Kaoru was silent. I guess she was thinking again. It made me curious as to what was going on in her mind. After the third time I caught her looking at me I asked, "Is something wrong Miss Kaoru?"
She blushed crimson and mumbled that she was fine. Perfectly fine. Nothing to worry about. Except she wouldn't meet my eyes. Had I don't something wrong? If so, why didn't she just whack me? That always seemed to help her express her anger. Not that I particularly wanted to be hit, it was just I didn't like not knowing what was going on.
'You're dumb as a box of rocks. How you ever survive is beyond me.'
What's that suppose to mean? I stared at him with narrowed eyes. What did he know that I didn't? I was me after all. And this was none of his business! He just smiled back and waved cheerily back.
'If you let me out I'll tell you.'
Fat chance. In fact, a radish's chance in Kaoru's stew and becoming edible. He ignored me and began looking at the dirt under his fingernails scrupulously. I turned my back on him and hoped he wouldn't suddenly decide to torment me. What was I saying? This was my evil alter ego here. Of course he would torment me. It was in his job description. I wondered if he considered it a perk. Probably. He sure liked to mess with people's heads, especially mine.
'Fine then. I won't tell you. You'll just be clueless forever and ever.' And this seemed to be digressing back to second grade. I half expected him to stick out his tongue and pull down one lower eyelid. Instead he leaned back and closed his eyes.
My eyes wandered as I held my internal debate. They paused jerking my attention away from my sulky other half and held fast on their prize. Two coal black horses were tied outside the bar. Both seemed to be of good breeding and looked to be very expensive and well training. Their ears were prick back at us intelligently and the saddles on their backs were rich, new leather. The good stuff.
"I've never seen those before. Let's go see who the strangers are!" Miss Kaoru said excitedly. She hastily hitched her horse, then mine before grabbing my upper arm and dragging me in the bar.
The last place on earth I ever wanted to be again.
At least Sano, Kamatari, and Yumi were out of sight, if not out of mind. Warily I eyed the two strangers. They were quietly chatting among themselves. The tall one with the gravity defying straw colored hair took a shot before slamming the glass back down. He seemed to have guns strapped to every part of his body. I expected Battousai to make a comment about the man making up for something, but he had disappeared. Completely.
Suddenly I felt very naked and alone. He had never just skittered off like that for no reason and without warning! Despite our arguing he was a part of my life, one I liked to tolerate. It was nice to have a trump card if I got in deep. And now he was gone. No note or anything.
Miss Kaoru, suddenly shy, watching the strangers sat down on the barstool. She had left a space between the other stranger and herself. Did she want me to sit there? To keep myself between her and the stranger. Or did she want me to be on the other side because she was merely pretending to be polite, but really wanted to listen in on their conversation? I decided I would rather face her ire than let her be in any danger.
Gingerly, I sat down and cocked an obliging ear toward the pair. While the yard high hair man was leaning against the bar top cockily, his younger companion was seated. He was nursing what looked like water. Then again, he looked like he was, oh, fifteen. Bangs hung in his large eyes and his face had a definitely boyish cast to it. Adorned on that face was the hugest, most fake smile I had ever seen in my life. He put my clueless drifter smile to shame, slaughtered it with a butter knife.
"Woah, check the chick two seats over." The tall one said with a clear southern accent. I bristled. There was only one 'chick' in the vicinity.
"I think we should buy a heifer, you know? A young, pretty one without too much fat and all." The boy replied idly. He played with his glass of water, expression never changing. It was freaky. He was talking about a woman as property and it didn't bother him a bit.
Apparently this also stuck his companion, "Ain't all heifers fat asses anyway? I didn' realize ya were into that kinda thing."
"Sure Chou, I like milk. A lot." The boy replied, unphased.
"Wohoo, didn't see ya that way 'fore."
"It's best fresh."
Chou gaped and let out a low whistle, "Grave robber!"
"No, I'd do it at night, in some grassy field, undisturbed. She wouldn't like it if there were a lot of people around. Makes her nervous. If I'm careful I can drink all I want." I swallowed suddenly, feeling slightly ill.
"Nasty shit boy."
"The young ones are best. That's why I want a heifer." The boy explained, taking a sip. Still, that scary smile never faltered, even when the glass touched his lips. He didn't even dribble it down the front of him. Now that was talent.
"Ya're such a dirty dog Soujirou!" Chou drawled with a decidedly lecherous look. "Shit, I could take lessons from ya."
"Well, it is dirty work, but that's half the fun." Soujirou admitted, "The firm thing you need to do is take a firm grip. You won't get anything out if you're too soft. You have to curl your fingers and pull down. Unless you just want to stick your mouth on them and get what you want, but I don't suggest that. It's hardly hygienic."
I felt my face heating up and one glance at Miss Kaoru warned me she was getting ready to explode. Gently I grasped her wrist, hoping to calm her. If anything that seemed to do the opposite. She jerked her wrist out of my hand like she had been burned and massaged it with a foreign look on her face. Catching me staring she narrowed her eyes drastically, promising a beat down later.
"Just be sure you have warm hands. She won't like it if you put your cold hands on her nipples. That's sensitive skin. Especially to temperature changes."
"I neva thought of that." Chou said with a pensive look.
"Well, you don't want to be kicked. That happened to me once; I couldn't walk for a week. Taught me a lesson."
Chou's eyes were bugging out of his head, and I hoped mine weren't doing the same. He clicked his jaw shut and I suddenly felt very sympathetic toward the boy. Imagine, that must have been painful! Being kicked there by an enraged woman.
"I ain' been kicked yet." Chou breathed.
Soujirou turned that creepy smile on the gun man and said in a cheerful voice, "Perhaps you should be giving me the advice then!"
Miss Kaoru abruptly stood up with an enraged expression and stomped over there. I made a grab at her ponytail and missed. Cursing pathetically, without Battousai to lend a helping comment, I really couldn't think of anything at all.
"How dare you two! Talking like that. Like it's okay to treat women like cattle!" She screamed. Luckily it seemed that there were no loose planks in the establishment or else she would have beaned them both.
The boy looked up at her calmly, the smile widening and he said in a very polite voice, "Do you have any to sell? I'm looking for a young, healthy heifer."
"Are ya fuckin' crazy boy?" Chou asked incredulous and I glared. I hope the kid wasn't insinuation what it sounded like.
"Oh, actually I do." Miss Kaoru said, her tone sweetening her tone drastically.
"Oro!"
"Fuck."
"How much?" He asked innocently, "I don't have much spare change, but I think it should be enough."
"Ya can't sell women!" Chou yelped like he had been smacked from behind with a wet towel. His previous leer was replaced with out and out horror.
"Technically you can honey." Oh wonderful. Look who has made his entrance, unwieldy cast and all. "Happens all the time."
"You shut up freak. None one asked you." Yumi snapped. She walked past Chou and hugged Soujirou tightly.
"Women?" Soujirou asked, from her chest, looking thoroughly confused. His smile returned slightly before his scrunched up face and he looked so much like a confused toddler I wanted to laugh. "I was talking about cattle."
"So was I." Kaoru replied innocently.
Chou and I just gaped. Cattle? As in four legged walking dinners? The things that leather came from? Those beasts we were watching earlier. That sort of cattle?
"Good to see you again Soujirou. You're journey went well then?" Yumi asked, finally releasing him. I could see Chou watching jealously from the sidelines. Well, all things considered I think he had the right to be a bit green eyed. Considering the way his mind was going just a few minutes ago. Again, I expected Battousai to point out mine had been going in the exact same direction, but he was silent.
"It was quite pleasant." The boy said agreeably. And I heard Chou mutter under his breath, "If'n ya consider being near killed nice."
Someone about the two of them made me nervous. And I wondered why they would be visiting a place like this and what their connection to the two ladies were. It was obviously a close, friendly relationship, yet Miss Kaoru hadn't recognized the two strangers.
"Hello, my name is Soujirou Seta, and this is my companion Chou." I relaxed slightly. The name didn't ring any bells or whistles. Of course, names are easily changed, used, and discarded. But there was a sincerity about his introduction that rang true.
"I'm Kaoru Kamiya, and I own the ranch on the south part of town. If you would like a cow you should come on by and look them over. I'm sure you could find one you like." Miss Kaoru said and elbowed me sharply. I take it that meant I was to introduce myself. Something which I wasn't sure I wanted to do. "This unworthy one's name is Kenshin. It is a pleasure to met both of you."
"Soujirou, I'm sure you and Chou are exhausted." Yumi said only half as subtle as she thought she was.
"Yes." Soujirou agreed and executed a slight bow in our direction. "Nice to meet both of you. I may just stop by your ranch when I have rested."
With that the four retreated.
"What a polite boy, nothing like that brat Yahiko!" Miss Kaoru announced and I trailed her back out to our horses.
Still not a peep from our favourite insane alter ego.
A/N: Look! I managed another chapter! Albeit it was a day late, forgive me? I'll try to update at least once a week. Anyway, big thanks to Fyyrrose for sparking the idea for this chapter, and look, two more characters.
Reviewers:
MissBehavin: I figured the man has been such an ass he needed some good light shed on him. Well, that's the way I see him anyway ^^. Sano and Misao are fun to slam together >:)
victoria:: Fresh blood *glomp* Anyway, I'm not terribly great at the romance, but I hope this chapter satied you at least!
Fyyrrose: You want it? You whined that I shouldn't give it to you until after you finished your class stuff, remember? Besides, I bet you haven't done that paper yet! Bad, bad, bad. Chocolate *drools* Dang it, now I want to go to the gas station and buy a candy bar. When I was rearranging my room last night I found 5 bucks stashed. Soda for me! -.-;; Okay, I just evicted Fred's family from my room after what, two weeks? Why would I kill a rat, even fictionally? The poor baby didn't do anything!
Makes me think of this line in Petshop of Horrors, manga issue 3:
Count D: *slightly distainful* You know I don't care about humans Leon: -.- I forgot. *thinking* freak.
Yes, the wolf showed something other than cold cyancism, too much for you to handle? So you actually like Meg, never saw that coming. Well, you know me and my fav. characters. Go ahead, send the link to my mom, I DARE you. LMFAO.
Wistful-Eyes: *bows* It's good to know I'm giving the man some attention. Mwahaha, yes, pillow. I prefer my dog to a pyromaniac, but yes. Houndingwolf: There probably is a story like that, and many more. I was just being rather un-creative. Lobo is wolf in spanish ( I think anyway).
Nigihayami Haruko: *jaw drops* The horror! *grins* Well, that just means you get double the fun! *twitches* As for the past *eye tick* I haven't figured all that out yet, but it will be sorted and worked in!
Trupana: Yay, have a cookie (::) Hungry is evil. Aku Soku Zan! I suggest slaying it with a that cookie! Speaking of... I should make some more cookies today (my cooking is on par with Kaoru's. I'm probably going to poison myself again.). O.o It wasn't intended as a hint, but sure, I'll probably drop a few more in unwittingly *grins* Don't forget the crazy bomb-wielding coach driver! B will come out to play, he will. Or fyyrrose would disown me. Thank you ;) I'm was afraid I wasn't keeping to her character very well (I think Megumi-chan has addled my brain).
