Chapter Eleven

Battousai had once again deserted me. I ignored the lonely, empty feeling in the back of my mind and stared at the young, smiling boy before me. What was it about him that made Battousai retreat? Was it out of fear? I bit back a cynical snort. I could picture his mentality now, fear, what fear? Fear is for idiots who can't control themselves. Giving a little shake of my head I considered the other option. He was plotting.

Now that one was very much a possibility, but it was one I was loath to consider. Plotting usually ended with someone seriously injured and myself taking the blame. What was I suppose to do with him? Put him on a chain and place a mental sign on my forehead that warned Beware of Battousai? Yeah, that would work. Both of us knew that he didn't have to stay in that cage all the time; he was, as he had proven on several instances, able to give me the slip. Presto. Suddenly the jailer is behind bars and the parolee running amuck.

"Good evening Mister Himura, Miss Kamiya." Did I mention his overly polite manner was grating? At least he didn't say Miss Kaoru, which was my name for her. "I just came to see if I could discuss buying that one heifer with the black spot on its ear."

Now, me, I was like, there's a difference? A cow was a cow. Sure, they came in a few different colors, but when you come down to it they're all still four legged, ruminants that spit up grass and re-chewed it a thousand times. Again, I reiterate, they taste pretty good.

"Come in." Miss Kaoru said with a broad smile. I could almost see money signs chinging behind her eyes. So why exactly did that make me jealous?

Of course, if Battousai were around like he was supposed to be, he was gladly taunt me with the answer. Was I too stupid to figure out my own subconscious with the psycho? Apparently so. His lose I guess, that he wasn't here to torment me like he charged with.

They soon launched into a long, intricate talk about cattle that left me stupefied and bored out of my mind. Eventually I started dinner, but from the kitchen I had a limited ability to listen in on their utterly mundane conversation. So I decided dinner was going to be a skimpy affair, something I could throw together, but would still be infinitely less dangerous than Miss Kaoru's cooking. Then again, if Soujirou stayed for dinner and she cooked he might just kick off. Gah! See what happened when Battousai stepped out? I went all pissy and mean and petty. That was his job, so why wasn't he doing it?

Instead of poisoning the stew like I wanted to I made myself walk out into the small living room. "This unworthy one was wondering if our guest was staying for dinner."

The kid looked up with a bright, sparkling smile and I recoiled slightly. Did he get frozen in a blizzard as a child causing him to lose all the elasticity in his face? Or was he simply trying to lose weight. They say a smile burn three times the calories than a frown. In that case, Father Aoshi must be on a diet, because he wasn't winning any points there.

All in all I was in an incredibly sour mood. I half hoped he would say yes so I could pour in some pepper or something.

"Thank you for offering, but I must decline. You see, I'm staying with Miss Yumi, and she would be most disappointed if I didn't join her for dinner." He managed all that with that same bloody smile and the most annoying tone I'd ever heard. It was almost… patronizing? Yes, that was it. And, yes. Far more annoying than myself even, in my humble opinion. Not that I was trying to be annoying, I just got carried away sometime. Yeah.

I watched as money changed hands and suddenly I felt guarded. There was something about… nah, just my over active imagination I'm sure. I was getting paranoid. Not everyone in the world was out to get me.

"I will drop off the money tomorrow, but could you please keep her a few more days? I'm afraid my companion and I will be staying in town for a bit longer and I don't have a place to keep her."

"That's just fine." Miss Kaoru assured him. She sounded so happy. Then again, considering the town she was living in this must be a wonderfully positive experience for her.

"Good night Miss Kamiya, Mister Himura."

That was one door I was happy to slam.

"Oh Kenshin," Turning I half expected to be clobbered for any perceived rudeness. Her sapphire eyes locked with mine. We stared, not to be cliché or anything, but we stared into each other's eyes. Who the heck said you could see the soul through someone's eyes was talking some serious BS. But they were an absolutely beautiful shade of blue, a gorgeous azure with darker flecks and rim. That would have been all well and good so long as my violet ones didn't decide to wander downwards. I didn't even see it coming, "Kenshin you pervert!"

Nursing the painful bump on my head I walked into the kitchen after her.

We were just about done when there was a knock on the door. Irritated, I excused myself and opened the door a bit too violently. Missus Tokio looked at me with a serene smile and I found myself highly embarrassed.

"May I come in?"

"This unworthy one didn't mean… er… it was an accident-." I abruptly decided stuttering was getting me nowhere. Damn. Now that I consider it she was scarily similar to Master in some ways. So I did the only thing I could. Shut up.

"Who… Oh, Tokio." Miss Kaoru said, emerging from the kitchen. She effectively thrust me out of the doorway, where I had been standing with the deer-in-the-headlight syndrome. I considering stumbling, but somehow I assumed Missus Tokio wouldn't buy it and Miss Kaoru would just be exasperated. I didn't need another mark. "Come in. Did Saitoh come with you?"

Missus Tokio strolled in, quite at home. At the mention of Saitoh I peered into the murky yard waiting to see him lurking around. Instead, Lobo padded in. He growled at me before settling in front of the fireplace. The orange glow, which would have normally been considered warm and cheery, now had a satanic cast to it where it flickered over the beast's grey coat.

By the look on Missus Tokio's face, she wanted to talk. It was the kind of look that said, girls- er, woman only. I beat a hasty retreat to the kitchen claiming the dishes needed doing. Well, they did!

I collected the plates and scrubbed them in short order. Okay, so what else? Oh yeah, the glasses and the silverware. Done. Anything else? Well, the table looked a bit dirty. I should clean it…

All right! So I couldn't resist! It's all Battousai's fault!

Creeping up on the thin adjoining wall I gingerly pressed an ear to the wall hoping they won't hear me.

"-Since your mother passed away I feel obligated to speak to you about this matter. It seemed rather harmless at first, but after yesterday…" Missus Tokio trailed off delicately and I could hear Miss Kaoru shifting nervously.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about Tokio."

There was a pause then Missus Tokio continued bluntly, "I've seen the way you've been looking at Mister Himura. Now, you do realize what will happen if you are intimate with him? You could conceive a child and it would become a bastard when he leaves. I don't have to tell you that Father Aoshi would have a fit."

My eyes, threatening to pop out, had to blink several times as I mentally picture Mr. I'm Made of Stone having a fit. It wasn't happening.

"Further more, your reputation would be ruined. You know Hajime wouldn't stand for that. I am as much afraid for Mister Himura as I am for you. Hajime is a wrathful man when his ire is stirred and he feels it demands justice."

Oh crap, I forgot about him. He'd tear me from throat to navel. Or maybe navel to throat? Crap crap crap. Bad mental picture. One hand clutched my throat protectively and the other guarded that area.

"If you truly like him you need to convince him to stay."

"Tokio-."

"Don't interrupt please. And I'm not talking about hitting him over the head. I know men are frustrating and stubborn, but there is no need for violence. Believe me, there are other ways to get them to behave like civilized human beings."

My face flamed. Please let her be talking about the old phrase, 'A way to a man's heart is through his stomach'. Then it hit me. Please don't tell her that! Although her meals were flavourful and interesting I don't think my stomach and intestine agreed.

"Tokio, Kenshin is my border." Miss Kaoru reminded her primly. Wait, primly?

"A very handsome border." Missus Tokio said suggestively and I could practically see the smug smirk on her face. Living with Saitoh must have permanently warped her mind. She now considered every conversation a sparring match. "He kisses well enough too."

I jerked away from the wall like I had been burned with a hot, iron poker. Why was she talking about that to Miss Kaoru? I knew my cheeks were flaming like a beacon and that I should have walked away then. And I did. For a second anyway. The term 'dead man walking' struck me as appropriate.

"Tokio! When did you kiss Kenshin?" There was an enraged quality to her voice and I could picture her pink, but furious. Furious. Hmm, why would she be so mad? Before I could consider that one she continued, "What were you doing kissing Kenshin? You have a husband!"

I concur.

"Yes, and he needed to be taught a lesson." Thank god I escaped in time. Who knew what else she would attempt to get even. "You see that's one thing you need to learn. Men can be utter pigs. Sometimes they need to be reminded how to behave."

"What does that have to do with kissing Kenshin?" Miss Kaoru demanded.

I could almost picture Tokio shaking her head, refined.

"Never mind. The point is, he's a fine specimen, and you shouldn't give up so easily. You've always been a go-getter. I don't see why this should be any different."

Specimen? What was I? A new breed of dog or something? Oh yes, and this is the red coated variety, very rare. He may be a bit short, but he's well muscled. And such odd colored eyes. It's almost like there's a person in there looking back at you.

"It… it just is! And I never said I liked Kenshin!" She sputtered. She didn't like me? As in she hated me, or just didn't like me in that way, or just would be happy when I left?

"Of course you do. I like Kenshin is plastered all over your face every time you look at him." Missus Tokio replied in a patient tone.

"Am I that obvious?" Miss Kaoru asked and my thoughts were, so she does like me?

"Very much so. Even Hajime has noticed."

Wow, and he's astute. Then again, looking at his marriage…

"I think I'm attracted to him because I don't know everything," And she stressed that last word to the point where it had a heart attack and died, "About him. I mean, in this little town everyone knows everything about everyone. There's absolutely no privacy, no secrets."

She likes me because I'm mysterious? Chalk up the bonus points there.

"Nonsense. There are secrets all over the place if you look hard enough." Missus Tokio corrected and Lobo growled in agreement. "Would you like to know his past?"

Oh no. Bad idea! Bad bad bad.

"I am a bit curious." She admitted and I substituted Battousai's normal remarks with my own inferior voice, mayday mayday! Crash and burn baby.

Again, there was that pause. "Why don't you ask him?"

Please, no. What would I say? Oh yes, I was just the legendary killer that fought for the Confederates and won them more than a few battles? I've killed too many men to remember and am now drifting around seeking atone me? She'd ship me off faster than… well, really fast. And then she'd sic Father Aoshi on me to exorcise the demons or something.

"Why should he tell me anything anyway? It's not like he likes me back or anything."

What? I liked her. A lot. More than I should. Far more than I should with her cousin wanting to impale me, and Master just around the corner, waiting for me to slip up no doubt. And Aoshi, I won't even think about that.

"You could always ask my brother." Missus Tokio suggested and I banged my forehead lightly against the wall. The only thing Miss Kaoru would get out of him was stories about how I wet the bed at age seven or ate some of those mushrooms that made me think… who the heck grows those kinds of mushrooms in their back lot anyway? That was begging for a lawsuit or lynching.

"I don't want to see that big jerk ever again!" She declared violently.

There was a low chuckle and it took me a moment to realize it was Missus Tokio. She snickered, "Yes, he is a bit of an ass, but he's a good man under all the alcohol and smart comments. Arguing with him only gives him fuel. Both Hajime and I know that. So does Himura obviously. You didn't hear any of us talking back, did you? Or at least not overly much. You should have seen the first time he and Hajime met. We had been married for, oh, about two years by then. Brother just wandered in and made himself at home. I thought the war had restarted and would end in bloodshed."

There was a fondness in her voice and she seemed to be happy to remember what sounded, to me, like hell on earth.

"Speaking of Hajime," She continued, ignoring Miss Kaoru's half protests, "You could always ask him. He and Himura go way back."

I pictured Miss Kaoru rolling her bright blue eyes in exasperation and she growled, "Like he would be much better than Hiko. One says I'm fat, which I'm not! And the other calls me a raccoon."

"Hajime calls everyone an animal. I do believe he originally called Misao a possum. But then he and Father Aoshi had a talk. Or, actually, they glared at each other, and he changed it to weasel."

Well, the things you learn when eavesdropping. The ice chunk had some sense of… something, in there after all!

"So what does he call you? It can't be worse than a raccoon."

There was a warm silence and I couldn't help it, I had to peep around the edge of the doorway. Miss Kaoru and Missus Tokio were seated on the only two pieces of furniture in the tiny room, across from each other. Missus Tokio's face, normally set in a pleasant, distant fashion was warm. That scared me.

"What Hajime calls me is our business." Missus Tokio said suddenly, but the smile lingered on her lips. Maybe there was far more to their relationship than I had given it credit for. Why were they so damn confusing? First she's talking about an eye for an eye sort of then and now she was blushing like a schoolgirl with a crush. Okay, well, not blushing, but she was far from unhappy about the object of her thoughts.

Abruptly her eyes cut across the room and I jerked back. Had she seen me? Oh, I was in for it now!

"Now, what you need to do is bed Himura. That way…" She didn't get to finish her sentence because a harsh, high-pitched woman's scream cut through the air.

Despite the fact that I was so flustered I must have looked like a friggin' tomato, I grabbed my gun and bolted into the livingroom. Of course, if she didn't know I was there before she certainly knew it now. And so did Miss Kaoru. But I wasn't overly worried about that. I had distinctly heard a scream, although now that I thought about it, it came from outside.

Lobo was on his feet, snarling with his murky yellow eyes blazing.

And that's when the door banged open and Sano came racing inside. At first I was too surprised and shocked at his sudden appear to notice his was missing a few items… namely the articles of clothing that should have been covering his body. He was missing not only his shirt, not like that made much of a difference considering he paraded around with it half open all the time, but also his pants, one sock, and his red headband. He wore an utterly haunted looked and his brown hair was standing on end wildly.

Seeing us his eyes widened. He followed Miss Kaoru's blatant stare and turned pale then pink. Hastily he tried inefficiently to hide himself before grabbing the closest thing to him. Me. Now let me say, this was one of the weirdest positions I have ever been in. Why did Sanosuke seem to have that effect on me? Whenever I was around him something perverted, or something that could be constructed as perverted, happened.

"Eh-heh," He said, gaining his composure and running his fingers through his hair, "I guess it's not as chilly as I first thought. All that running got me quite sweaty actually. And damn, no hot chick at the end of the trail."

A/N: And for anyone who didn't get that, there was a cougar "chasing" Sano. Oh, and I had WAY too much fun with this chapter. Flowed from my fingers like water. Also, credit where credit is due: the "talk" was inspired by a fic called Wolf's Blood.

Reviewers:

MissBehavin: Sweet title for him. Just for a bit, because he's such an ass. *gleefully snatches up the torch and burns down pottery shed* *fire hits the alochol and there's a massive explosion* O__O oops. Unfortunately, arguing with the man just encourages him -.- Yes, Aku Soku Zan the evil people. Yes, poor innocent Sou *sleepy look*. Chou and Kenshin have gutterminds (well, Chou does, and Kenshin is just too... I'm not finishing that).

eriesalia: I suppose if I take fyyrrose's fanfic challenge I will have to have them butt heads, or maybe swords I guess *shrug* And yes, I can see them absolutely loathing one another. Go Tokio!

Wistful-Eyes: I wouldn't advise hugging him, who knows how he'd react. Then again, he might just be pleased and call you 'lovely' O.o Okay, freaking myself out again. Well, I couldn't exactly have him poke fun at her tomboy-ish-ness, because look at the other woman O.O;; It would be nice if she gave him anmensia or something, then again, he'd probably still be snide and caustic and tormenting and superior... shutting up now.

Nigihayami Haruko: Good, I'm glad you liked it. I have a way of getting back at characters. Poor Kenshin's justice as been served. Nah, don't worry about it, I planned to bring it in, I just haven't decided yet. And I'm curious too. Overly so.

The Weird One2: That's okay, I still can't guarrentee that I'll update on time *sheepish grin* but I'm trying (which is why I haven't taken it off hiatus yet). Insulting people is what he's good at ^__^. INCEST! LMFAO, okay, only in the eyes of the law *chokes*.

Fyyrrose: You know that emicon on YIM? That's what I was imagining. You know I'm too poor to get ahold of something like that. It wasn't a "talk", it was a "lecture". Had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with what was wrong with my lemon. Animals love me too, but that's not to say I've never been bitten or kicked. Okay, after working at a dog kennel for two years how could I not? And working at a stable for a year... Baron stepped on my foot and Beauty *tried* to bite me, but she was a biter... And I've only been bitten once by a dog! (an insane dog named Saffy, she was skitzo I swear!).

Nine Fires: Thank you very much *deep bow of appreciation* Unique... oro @.@ If you think that Hiko was too extreme you should see the original version. I tamed it down A LOT. Gack, I so suck at romance, as all the other readers will tell you. But I will try!

Houndingwolf:*grins*

Trupana: Ah yes LotR >:) But Return of the King isn't as good as the Two Towers *waves hand*. Still, it should be awesome. Smeagol/Golum is the best *toothy grin* Besides the elf *drool*. Okay, totally off topic. We-ll, yeah, I won't comment on that, but she's obviously better looking than Kaoru ^^;; I do too *pouts* Draw her? He barely even mentioned the poor woman. That's okay, fanfiction has made an interesting character out of her O.o;; That might not be a good thing... You know your imagination runs wild when you start picturing Tokio and Saitoh singing Anything You Can Do *rolls eyes* Good luck on all your studying!