'I think its ridicules that the boy won't go near horses.' Battousai muttered, watching Sanosuke give a brace of the beasts, who were quietly minding their own business, a wide berth. The owners of the mounts were stocking up in the general store. Two little girls were playing rambunctiously in the front. Both were fairly young with brown hair.
Phobias are hardly picky. Besides, I think he'd take anything else on just for the fun of it.
'He is rather stupid, isn't he?'
I wasn't so sure about that. He seemed pretty smart wrangling us into doing the work for him. Miss Kaoru and Yahiko, drawn by the presence of strangers, had joined Sano in the rubbernecking. I guess most travellers didn't usually come through here, especially not with the new train station set up in Colorado Springs just a forty or so miles south of this town.
'I wouldn't think that hippophobia could be such a big deal.' He snorted, unconvinced.
I looked at him and retorted, It's equinophobia.
'You're as dumb as he is! Hippo is Greek for horse.' I had to point out that phobia was Latin for fear. 'So? Boy, your Master really screwed you over royally, didn't he. You don't even know the difference between Latin and Greek.'
But…
'The Greeks came before; Latin was used during the Roman Era. Sometimes I wonder if you were raised by Hiko at all. Are you sure it wasn't a pack of wolves?' I protested that wasn't Rome founded by two brothers raised by a she-wolf. 'Just stop, stop. Besides, the term wolf makes me think of two of my least favourite animals that tend to skulk around this town.'
I was about to agree, no one wants to think overly much about Saitoh, except maybe Missus Tokio, when a tall, graceful woman walked by. I was hit by nostalgia so strong I had to brace my back against the wall. Luckily, Sano, Yahiko, and Miss Kaoru were still across the street, although the three had retired to a good vantage point.
A suspicious rattle rumbled through my mind. I shot up with a jolt and Battousai balled his fists, looking on guard.
'Who else in here?' Battousai demanded of me. Like I knew? What, suddenly I was all knowing just because it was my body?
A short, small figure so heavily wrapped in chains that it couldn't walk fell out of the darkness.
Battousai crept over like the mass of wiggling, live chains were going to leap up and strangle him. He poke it experimentally and suggested, 'Let's kill it.'
A small whimpering noise issued and I shoved Battousai aside. Kneeling down I fiddled with the iron chains wondering what sort of monster could be locked up within. Every so often the chains would shift and I could see a flash of skin or hair. Red hair oddly enough.
'Don't let it loose, are you mad?'
I ignored him. Someone needed my help. No, I don't have a martyr complex! I just need to help people, to lighten the load a bit. It didn't matter if the person I was helping had just crawled out of my subconscious.
With one last yank and jerk the thick, heavy links slithered to the ground. A dazed and confused young boy stared up at me with unblinking violet eyes. Uncanny eyes that seemed to be a reflection of my own violet orbs, just younger, less jaded.
'I hate kids.' Battousai hissed and backed up substantially. He seated himself on the far end of the chamber and eyed the child warily.
The boy stared between us before venturing, as natural as if he hadn't just been rescued from a mass of chains binding his body, -You two look a lot alike. Are you twins?-
'Get rid of it!'
He's just a boy, I protested, utterly confused as to why Battousai was behaving like a frightened little schoolgirl. Okay, so I exaggerate, but he was definitely nervous. Something which I was enjoying very much.
'Burn it, it's a witch! Or better yet, let it drowned.' Battousai growled with a darker gleam in his amber eyes. I put myself between the two of them and the boy peered around my legs innocently.
Those are horrible deaths! I chided. He growled back at me, 'Children are horrible creatures.'
We were once a child.
'And look at the hell you put Hiko through!' Battousai retorted. The use of 'you' didn't escape me. Little fink, trying to squirm out of it.
I thought you didn't like Master.
'I don't.'
Oro!
'Why else would I burn his house down?'
This was baffling. It amazed me how he could twist things to go whichever way he wanted them!
Battousai, satisfied to have won that little sparring, turned to the kid and said in a deadly voice, 'Where did you come from? I must dispatch you and anyone else who is wandering this desolate place.'
The child stared back and said simply with a shrug, -There are no others.-
I sighed with relief. This was getting incredibly sticky.
-And I wasn't hiding, you locked me up.-
Battousai make an absentminded gesture and remarked, 'I did? Well, shit, I did myself a favour.'
I peered at him. His behaviour just begged the questions, Why did you lock him up and why won't you come any closer?
Battousai looked decidedly nervous and very irritated that I called him on it, 'They have germs.'
Did alter egos have germs? That was just silly… wasn't it? With Battousai I never seemed to know when he was being serious and when he was quite happily yanking my chain.
'You don't know where he's been. Look, look. You're touching him! What if he's carrying some sort of deadly disease.' His mouth dropped and his voice took on a wild cast, 'What if he has the Yellow Fever. He looks yellow to me, what about you?' He sucked him his breath with a sharp noise and said cautiously in a lowered voice, 'You touched him. You're carrying the plague now too!'
I rolled my eyes and said in a bland tone, You locked the poor child up, I figured you would know where he was.'
The child tugged on my sleeve and said in a quiet, clear voice, -My named is Shinta.-
Now that rang some bells. I'm not sure exactly which ones and all, but they were ringing somewhere quite persistently. Maybe Miss Misao was ringing them?
'Look, it talks. Do you do any other tricks?'
Shinta looked at him with a serious face and replied, -I bite.-
Oro!
No fighting now, you two keep it clean! I yelled. The last thing I need was to have my mind turned into a battlefield.
'You were the one checking out Sanosuke the other night. Don't you dare to tell me to keep things clean, not with that gutter mind of yours.' Battousai snapped, peeved that I had halted his fun.
That's not what I meant!
-Who's Sanosuke, does he live here too?-
'He's just the guy that Kenshin keeps checking out.' Battousai snickered. He grinned and added, 'I think the feeling is mutual.
Across the street Sano sneezed and mumbled something about someone must be calling him gay again.
Shinta's wide blue-violet eyes turned to me and my cheeks were already starting to turn pink. He bit his lip and asked, -Don't you like women?-
'When a guy likes another guy…'
Shut up! You don't explain things like that to a five year old! Besides, I'm not gay. Admittedly Aoshi's got a nice butt…
Battousai's jaw dropped and he looked at me with pity and revulsion. 'Who said anything about that mofo?'
Don't say things like that in front of the child!
'Please, I swear I'll never diss Sticks 'n' Bones again. Just don't ever bring up Aoshi's ass ever again!'
Language! I prompted, You don't say those things in front of children!
'Sorry Kenny, I'll make sure that I tone down my language next time I talk with you.' He retorted.
Another tug on my shirt, -What does mofo mean?-
Again, Battousai was more than happy to start explaining, 'It's slang and short for mother fu-.'
Enough!
I grabbed the child's shoulders and steered him away. When we were far enough away from my dirty alter ego I suggested that Shinta go play while Uncle Battousai and I had a nice chat. He nodded and immediately took control of my body.
Something tickled in the back of my mind about how bad an idea that could be, but I shrugged it off. Shinta couldn't do any worse than Battousai.
'You let the brat play around, but I'm stuck in a cage. Abuse!'
So call the alter ego police, I snapped. How do we get rid of him? Don't say kill him, he's just a kid. He had to have come from somewhere.
I was vaguely aware that Shinta had steered the body in a beeline for the two little girls. Good, maybe he could keep all three of them occupied.
"Wanna play?" He asked with a slight childish slur.
The older of the two stared up at him, "What's wrong with you? Grownups don't play with kids."
"Yeah, play with kids." The younger echoed. If she hadn't been I might not have been able to understand a word that come out of her mouth.
Shinta looked back at me and I felt absurd. I made an encouraging motion.
"Well, I wanna play." He replied stubbornly.
"Okay, let's play house!"
'House?' Battousai screeched, 'What do I look like, a Daddy?'
"You can be the Mommy okay?" Shinta nodded.
'Mommy? Mommy! I'll show the little shit 'mommy' when I tan their little butts.'
Can we focus here?
"Naw," The younger one chimed in, "She should be a Daddy."
"I'm a boy." Shinta pointed out.
"You look like a lady. Such pretty hair." The older girl said a bit wistfully.
Now Battousai was chuckling at me, 'They think you're a woman. From the mouths of babes.'
That means you too.
'That's where you are wrong, I'd never were pink.'
As if she had heard his stupid argument, the younger added, "Ladies wear pretty pink!"
'See?'
Shinta, defending me and himself, suggested meekly, "Guys can wear pink." The two girls crossed their arms and shook their heads.
'Why do you wear pink? You look like a variety of flower.'
This unworthy one feels that pink is the only color that correctly portrays his humbleness. I replied.
'Don't start with that shit again! I thought I eradicated it already!' Battousai snarled. He and Master hated nothing more then when I went fully into my drifter routine.
Apparently, the pink issue settled, the girls decided to play hopscotch instead.
Now, if I wasn't arguing with myself, I would have known that I was making quite the impression on a certain trio.
"Do Kenshin do that often Missy?" Sanosuke asked, nudging the young woman beside him. She looked up, startled and stared at the man in the pink shirt playing hopscotch with a pair of girls, "Or just when there's kids around?"
Kaoru's jaw dropped and his looked mortified. She opened her mouth to call out, but a large, rough hand descended, effectively shutting her up.
"Shh," Sanosuke said in her ear before letting go with a grin, "I want to see this." Yahiko started laughing.
"That's mean!" Kaoru protested.
"So? There's no harm in a bit of fun."
"I have to agree with the rooster head, this is just too funny!" Yahiko sniggered.
"You're both cruel. This is all at Kenshin's expense. What if my brother sees him acting like this? I'd never hear the end of it!"
"So that's how it is. Well, I don't see the cricket bastard anywhere, so I think you're safe." Sano replied, grinning, "You just don't want the jerk to get ammunition against you hooking up with Kenshin!"
Kaoru sputtered and turned bright red, "I do not!"
"Ugly, it's so obvious that you like him. Just ask him out already!"
"That's not lady-like, the woman asking the man." She murmured, her head turned down so only the crown showed.
Both of them choked with laughter at the proclamation.
"Anyway, maybe we should have him see Megumi. This sort of thing isn't normal for a grown man."
'Hey, you made this mess, you fix it.'
What? This is from the man who makes messes that seem to trail after him like a lost puppy!
Listen you, I said as firmly as I could, You don't have to haunt my body anymore than he does. Its because of Tomoe, isn't it?
I could have struck him with an iron crowbar and it wouldn't have procured the same pole axed look. That didn't last long. Within an instant he had cut the distance between us and had his fingers curled around my throat.
'Shut your filthy mouth before I break your jaw and wire it shut.' He snarled, his wrath in a tangible form. With a flick he tossed me away from him and stared down.
I picked myself up hesitantly. We hadn't really talked about this before. It was almost an agreement between us, that the past was a taboo subject. Maybe, in order for the child ego to go back, I had to confront what I'd been hiding from for so long.
'Count me out.' Battousai snarled sulkily. He turned his back to me.
I sat down, idly noting that Shinta and the girls were now playing jacks. The younger one kept dropping the ball and she started bawling. Shinta very carefully picked it up and showed her how to do it, ever patient.
Why was he so familiar?
A/N: And Shinta was originally Rob's idea. It all started with Saitoh (as it generally does, the poor man. One time we had him the Master of Voodoo Dolls.), yet someone turned into Kenshin's kid persona. I just slapped a name to a face and let it go from there. I don't remember how old Shinta was when Hiko found him so I picked a random age X_X Heh, wanna know something? I'm almost done writing this! *does dance* I have two more chapters and an eppy, then I'm done! Makes it an even 20 chapters, and about 150 pages I bet.
Trupana: First off let me say this: I got this review when I was in the middle of flagging while trying to write another chapter. Not only did it have me laughing so hard that my G-ma came in to make sure I was alright, but it encouraged me to finish the chapter! Hehe, I think it was rather clever of Megumi to scare the crap out of the old man to halt his skirt chasing (if only for a bit!). Oh yes, the vain little bugger! I wouldn't mind having his hair. Or doing a commerical and making a bit of money either X_X. Yes, something obviously isn't connected all good and tight up there! Although, Sano fits right in with the "uncivilized beasts" ne? The gum is a good idea. At least poor Mr. No Persona's head and brains wouldn't explode. I read this one fic where Aoshi went into a coma when Misao was killed and this is bad, but I was saying, that's because the silence did it! The man doesn't know what silence means. God is on the man's side, or maybe God just wants to jab Battousai? Who knows. How many times have I said 'someone up there hates me'. Something about old people and sex freaks people out ^.~ Even depraved alter egos. I agree: WRONG, very wrong. Except Misao doesn't quite realize what she's saying *pukes*. Hmm, I could mean Megumi or Misao, I'll let you construct that one up the way you want! You and eriesalia won't be totally disappointed with the ending of the fic, I promise ^__^ Battousai doesn't hate Aoshi quite as much has he does Hiko or Saitoh, especially Saitoh. Sano's just unfocused, undisplined, and totally wild. I think if someone took it into their head to knock some sense into him they might actually find a diamond in the rough. Homophones are great, aren't they? They have got to be the most numerous grammerical error that I can actually catch! The one that kills me is: Damn and Dam -__-' If you don't know the difference then you're not old enough to cuss. Hated Old Yeller, I'm with B. Hehe, you got my veiled reference to the Shinsengumi ^^ Guess who was head of that division? Aoshi's a man who seems to get what he wants (when he's not having a midlife crisis). Sano, washing, and eww. *twitch* I doubt Yahiko is much cleaner. I think anyone repeatedly falling on you could get mightly heavy, but actually she weighs about as much as my little brother (90 something pounds). That's what she gets for being short! (what was it, 5'1"). >__ eriesalia: The two Vs of a Battousai's life. He had to get something from Hiko, even if it wasn't intentional. No Shishio. I considered him, but that idea didn't pan out well enough. *grins* I don't know, they took stuff like that very seriously back then! Especially if he were a dedicated priest.
Houndingwolf: Would it scare you if I said I'm considering becoming a Shrink? We'll see how I like Psychology class anyway. Drool and obsess away. Hmm, that works!
MissBehavin: Hehe, maybe, but I think Saitohs' Ranch is next on the hitlist @.@ or maybe Kaoru's kitchen? That movie seriously scared me, and this is AFTER I watched & read Cujo by Stephen King.
Fyyrrose: Sano would make a horrible overseer! Except for the motivation part X_X Although I can't see him as sadistic cruel. Free bait indeed, one of us will start someone and its up to the other to twist and pervert it. B has depth! Besides, most of Shakespeare's plays did involve blood, guts, betrayal, incest, war, and just a dash of love. Who wouldn't like him? *sweatdrop* Let loose the dogs of war! Etu Brute. Unsex me! My knowledge is a bit more limited than his unfortunately. Mr. Buttmunch will come back, twice in fact, before I'm done ^__^ But I think you know that by now. YES! He just picked it up, thought it sounded cool, and spit it back out much to the shock (and outrage of B) of everyone else. Do Sano know how to read anyway? I suppose he'd gone to school, at least a few grades, but it goes back to that growing up parentless thing X_X Who's to say he has to go to school if he doesn't want to? Since I didn't speel out a past for him, you guys can assume it ran somewhat similar to RK. Feh, you take Kaoru and soon you'll want Misao, and then it will turn into a habit. Be happy with CHB and the rebel food slave ^^;;; in BSR for now!
Wistful-Eyes: Yes, but then it wouldn't be fun (and gross) to use the old lecher in those situations.
