Disclaimer to be found in the first part, and, again, hugs to Mandii.
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Crystal: Part Two
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I wait in the snow, in the cold, half near to dreaming and mostly caught in an unthinking quiet without need to fill any voids that may, or may not, be within. It is easy, now, with fading sunlight and the sharp, brittle crispness of winter all about, to fall into aged and wearying memories; now beneath the small copse of trees near the house, hair growing damp with the slick melting of the snowflakes whispering down, I can remember with sudden clarity the feel of Mum's hand resting briefly upon my head.
I had known then, as I still know, that she did so out of gentleness for my winter illness, gentle because I looked so small and fragile that even I was puzzled by the feminine cut of my face reflected in the window. Knowing not with any bitterness, but the aching love for what is gone, and it is a deep, sore cut inside, to know that she knew and protected me from those flaws buried deep inside me.
"Eh, Lyserg, forgot your coat," he says, startling me as he grins, ever theatric and near-smirking, coming in a long gait from the house. The coat rests along the broad length of his forearm, and I nod, hesitantly, suddenly struck with the need to cross my arms over my turtleneck, the cold piercing where before it had been a distant numbness.
"Thank you," I say softly, carefully. "Ah - thank you."
"A kiss for my services?" he suggests with an obvious wink, a familiar (and somewhat mortifying) dreamy gleam to his eyes, and I gather my coat quickly from his arm. "Oh, my beautiful innocent," Ryu begins, more than prepared to launch into one of his bizarre, almost romantic speeches, and I let him.
The familiar motions of pulling my coat on serves as a balance point, tucking arms into sleeves that will warm up soon enough and glancing down at my feet out of an old instinct, from before when I was too shy to look my tormentors in the eye, and too nervous to look upon my saviors. Now it is only a brief, momentary habit, and I straighten my neck quickly, pulling the folds of my coat tight around my thin chest.
"I don't suppose you have dinner ready?" I suggest carefully, acutely aware of the cold and no longer satisfied with the coat I have only now put on.
He grins, almost sardonically, the cigarette in his mouth bobbing once, and rests his large, warm hand on my head. "What do you think?" he laughs, and his broad shoulders quiver with the emotion. "Ha! You've never had as grand a dinner as you will tonight!"
My cheeks color slightly, and I carefully lift his hand from my head, absently smoothing the pale green of my hair under the dampness of half-melted snow. "I hope so," I smile, and kiss him once on his cheek, forced to stand on the toes of my boots and praying I would not slip.
He claps a hand to his cheek when I settled back upon the (safer and less inclined to overbalanced) heels of my boots, and grins so widely I'm nearly embarrassed. "Dessert'll never top that," he assures me, and turns, large hand now at my elbow, to lead me back to the house, with its warm kitchen and glinting windows.
"Wait," I blurt, and catch his wrist, kneading my fingers into the cloth there. Ryu glances down, puzzled, and I cannot smile, know I cannot summon the strength or the heart to do so; I can only look seriously up at him, wind and snow and veins flushing my face. "Just - stay and watch the snow with me."
He blinks in that unconsciously half-bemused, half-sardonic manner he has, and then grins, not knowing why I've asked but agreeing anyway.
Has he ever seen the weakness inside me?
-end part two/crystal-
