Butch scampered along in front of us as we raced towards the clinic. It was amazing how much the puppy had grown. His head was now even with my shoulder and his ears were never cropped, although his tail was docked. Those same ears flopped up and down with each powerful lunge. It was hard to believe that the black dog was Saitoh's and Saitoh's alone. He still scared the hell out of Lobo with his play drive and had taken a rather violent disliking to Master.
"Miss Megumi?" I panted, sticking my head in the clinic. The door was unlocked as always, but there was an empty feeling to the room. Only my own voice answered when I called out again.
"Maybe she's at the store? Or the church." Miss Kaoru suggested and Sano leered, "Foxy in the confessional."
"Gutter mind." Miss Kaoru snapped and ordered, "Kenshin, you're the fastest so you go to the church. Sicko and I will check around town."
I nodded and made sure that Butch stayed with Miss Kaoru. He was a very sweet, obedient puppy and had no problem doing as I asked.
'If only women were so compliant.' Oro!
I raced along wondering why Miss Megumi would leave her clinic. She'd never done it before, at least not before dusk. Her apartment was in the back and she generally stayed there at night so people knew where to find her. Being a doctor was far from easy.
I skittered to a stop when I heard two voices speaking in low tones. Creeping up I was surprised to find Chou and Soujirou conversing.
"I do not think this is a good time to do this Chou." Soujirou protested innocently.
"Hell, there ain't no such thin' as a bad time ta bust up the bad guys!" Chou protested, thumbing the hammer on one of his many pistols.
"Oro." I whispered, thoroughly confused.
Both of them whirled and Chou shook his spiky head, "It's jus' ta battousai. 'Taint nothin' ta worry 'bout Sou."
Soujirou gave a sceptical smile, "But he is Mister Himura now. I do not suppose he would approve of bloodshed as he is now."
"Aw, yer righ'." Chou spat, "But this is our job."
Could we back this wagon up a bit? "Excuse this unworthy one's ignorance, but what the hell are you two doing?"
'What does it look like they're doing? They're stalking whoever is in the confessional!' Battousai piped up, interested suddenly.
What? I thought you liked to disappear when Soujirou is around.
'Oh, that. I need naps too.' Why wasn't I buying that? 'Fine, I did it to freak you out. Worked pretty well too. Just like making up Butch.'
You made him up?
"You see Mister Himura, Chou and I are agents for the government. We have been tracking a pair of criminals for months now. We had to be certain that they were them if you understand my meaning. Otherwise we would have made our move long before. Now that we are perfectly certain, we were planning to ambush them before they thought to skip town."
"But-." I started not sure what I was planning to ask.
"We have no interest in you. As far as the government is concerned you are dead." Soujirou continued, "And as for staying with Miss Yumi and Kamatari, well, that was also true. We do have relations. Kamatari is my twin brother."
Oro!
'Well, that explains nothing. Except that they're both freaks.'
Oro!
'Stop that, if you were half as stunned as you pretend to be you'd die of a heart attack.'
"Would ya quit yappin' and help meh here?" Chou grunted as he moved a bench to use as a shield slash firing platform.
"I doubt they are armed."
"Yeah, but that fella don't leave much ta chance. I ain't getting an ass whompin' 'cuz ya thought theys was harmless."
"Have you seen Miss Megumi?" I asked, regaining my original senses and mission. So what if the two were brothers, you were entitled to visit your kin. And if the two were cops all the more reason to get out of there. Even if the government claimed me dead that didn't necessarily mean that they wouldn't want my body as proof.
Soujirou just smiled wider and Chou growled, checking his gun again.
Soujirou nodded and shot forward tearing off the curtain to the confessional. Needless to say I was shocked. Of all the people… of all the… shit, I can't even say it in my mind!
Kamatari looked up with a slightly guilty look and Yumi jerked her hand away like it burned. He got up and subconsciously brushed away some invisible dirt.
"Hey Sou. What are you two up to?"
Soujirou grinned back at his brother and shook his head making a motion to Chou. The blond looked like he was, pardon the term, going to shit a brick. His face was redder than my shirt by a hundredfold. So much so that I wondered if he was breathing properly and how could he possibly have so much blood in his face. He stared between Kamatari and Yumi with his fists clenched.
Without warning he jumped the younger man. Kamatari was in his normal woman's attire, which made it impossible to dodge. He did ditch the shoes though while twisting under Chou's merciless grip.
"Stop it Chou!" Yumi hollered, looking mighty peeved herself. She marched up and smacked the broom head with her shoe. He looked stunned before disentangling his fingers from Kamatari's hair. The cross-dresser grinned ruefully and retreated beside his brother. I guess they were fraternal twins since they only vaguely resembled each other.
"Ya two-timin'…" Chou hissed.
"No language. You know what will happen if you ever so much as think that word at me again. It ended our marriage. You have no claim over me, what I do, or who I see." Yumi replied calmly and slipped her shoe on.
"She has you there partner." Soujirou grinned like an idiot.
'I told you, but this divorce makes things so much more interesting.' Battousai remarked rubbing his chin.
"You two were married?"
"I know, but young people do foolish things." Yumi replied, glaring. "And I am beautiful after all."
Kamatari slung an affection arm over her shoulder and teased, "Sure you are, for such an old woman."
Creepyville here.
"Brother, you should be nicer." Soujirou chided and I suddenly felt horribly out of place. These people were close as family and here I was bumbling in the middle of them.
Chou looked sullen, "Where are they?"
"Who?" Kamatari asked blinking.
"The people we have been following. Chou and I decided it was time to make a move before they flee again." Soujirou replied.
Yumi's mouth twitched and she said bluntly, "Oh, them. They rented a room at the bar."
"Upstairs?" Soujirou pressed without sounding demanding. Yumi nodded and sauntered past Chou with Kamatari's arm still slung carelessly around her shoulders. The tall man snarled something under his breath and stalked back towards town, not waiting for the rest of us.
Yes, us. Like it or not my curiosity had gotten the better of me. Besides, I was sure Sano would have volunteered to have searched he bar for Miss Megumi. It would be an easy way to meet back up with him.
'Sure it is.'
Yumi and Kamatari paused in the doorway. They had dropped their arms and scooted a safe distance away from each other. Kamatari had a smirk plastered on his face and Yumi an irritated frown. Damn they were good. Well, they had fooled the whole town for so long anyhow…
"Third door from the right, you might want to knock first." Kamatari snickered.
"That would give us away!" Chou growled and pushed past the smaller man. He stomped up the stairs while Soujirou and I trailed behind.
"You do not have to come Mister Himura."
How to answer that? Before I could formulate an answer Chou had already prepared to smash the door in. I slipped past him and turned the knob. Guess what? It was unlocked. And guess what, I never want to see that done to another human being again. I shut the door quietly and counted the room numbers.
"This unworthy one thinks that maybe you miscounted, that he does." I managed, still shaken and very embarrassed. Sweat trickled down my neck making it itch. Chou did a recount and grinned, "Guess ya were righ'. No har' done."
'Except that Kenshin got a nice visual sexual education.' Battousai grinned at my discomfort.
We all bunched around the door that supposedly harboured the criminals. What would they be like? I grinned mentally, of course it would have to be Saitoh.
'Probably Father Aoshi.'
Chou had to smash the door open this time.
"Fuckin' A that hurt!" He howled interrupting the two lovers.
Megumi was seated on Aoshi's lap with one arm wrapped around his neck and the other buried in his hair. Her cheek was resting against his forehead and she arched an eyebrow at our impromptu approach.
Both Chou and I flushed fuchsia while Soujirou's smile quirked.
Aoshi, on the other hand, held no emotion. He slipped on his serious Man of God mask and only Hell could take it off. Even so, I noticed he didn't take his hand from where it rested somewhere in the nether between the hip and rump.
Both of them were slightly tousled and their clothing was quite loose, if not missing entirely.
"Looks like the mean coppers caught up with us, although I didn't expect Sir Ken to be with them." Miss Megumi pouted, her lips swollen from what I could only guess as a long bout of lip locking.
I changed my mind. This was something that warranted bleach. Although the two weren't doing anything too unseemly, the fact that he was a priest and she was the town doctor, wasn't sitting well. Not at all.
'Once I finish doing the 'I told you so dance' I may just have to laugh some more.' Battousai said grinning from ear to ear.
"Father Aoshi…" What can I say? Hey, priests don't French and the most certainly don't do what you were about to go into.
Miss Megumi flipped her hair and gave a smirk, "He's no more a religious man than Sanosuke. Isn't that right Aoshi?" He nodded silently.
Not… a priest? Then what the hell had he been playing at this whole time? But, but… the sermons!
'I know!'
And he talked so much… and the confessional!
'I know!'
This so isn't happening.
'Aren't you glad you never used the confessional?'
Not kidding.
"So are ya comin' quietly or what?"
"What did they do…?" Besides mentally scarring me for life that is. I had to lean against the door jam. This turned my world topsy turvy.
Soujirou stepped up, his eyes locked on Aoshi. The man had straightened and retrieved most of his clothing without dislodging Megumi. She, likewise, was in a better state of dress with her arms now wrapped around his waist. Was there any more secret relationships I needed to know about here?
Miss Megumi punched Aoshi lightly in the shoulder and said with a playful smile that looked all together too much like a sly fox taking the hounds for a run, "I told you we overstayed our welcome."
He shrugged and replied brushing a hand across hers, "But we had good cover."
"I suppose. I'll miss you Sir Ken. Tell that silly girl of yours not to get so ruffled when other women show interest!" Miss Megumi advised.
The pair were fully dressed now. Chou and Soujirou closed in, but Aoshi swooped Megumi up bridal style and did a suicide dive out the window.
We rushed to the window only to find them gone.
"C'mon Sou, they can't of gone to far yet." Chou yelled, tearing hell-bent out of the room and stumbling down the stairs.
Soujirou turned to me and gave a sincere smile, "It was nice to meet you Mister Himura. I hope you stay around, there are people who truly care for you."
With that he disappeared out the door.
By the time I got downstairs both Chou and Soujirou were gone.
"Good riddance to bad rubbish. I was wondering how long he was going to stick around." Yumi snorted, speaking of Chou I'm assuming.
"Ah, I wished both of them good luck." Kamatari said cheerfully.
This had been a weird, weird day.
Miss Kaoru rushed in to find the three of us staring mildly down the road and out on the wild peaks that rose in the distance.
She tugged on my sleeve, "Kenshin, I've been looking all over for you! We couldn't find Miss Megumi, but Doctor Gensai, you know that old guy that stopped over with his two granddaughters, he helped instead. Saitoh and Tokio have a healthy baby boy! Isn't that great?"
"Oro!" Too much, I fainted dead away.
A/N: LMFAO, well, you people reap what you sow! I bet you weren't expecting a stunt like this? As for 'Tari/Yumi, that was not in the lesson plan, yet it crept in there. Only two more chapters and an epilogue. And for all you who wanted a sequel for Res. , I'm going to start posting it as soon as this one is done. Also, my dog is probably very sick so I don't know how fast I'll write/post it. Apologies in advance. On a good note, I'm learning grammer! *grins* Went from 50% (before the lesson) to 100% on complete sentences! Then I came home and started editting.
Side note: You people are lucky I have sense (or numbers) in my head. Fyyrrose wanted me to make Soujirou Kamatari and Yumi's kid. Me: O__O You know that Yumi's only 28 right? And that Soujirou's 18? She would have been 10! And Kamatari, I couldn't reach a solid conclusion. It's either 18 (which I used), 20, or 29. That would have been before he was born, 2, or 11. So not happening!
Reviewers:
mij: ^^ Maybe the title... or the summary... or the words 'insanity fic'... or maybe AU: Western. If you did I wouldn't blame you. I have a... unusual sense of humor! Apparently you do too, welcome to the club! *whistles innocently* As you can see, he's not. Um, well, let's see. Battousai's dialogue is always labelled in ' ' so I'm assuming Kenny is the problem. Just think of it this way, Kenshin's reply and his random thoughts are pretty much the same @.@ Some are just directed at his alter ego.
Houndingwolf: Katsu was fun because I always see him as fairly calm (with the exception of that one eppy in the anime). To have Hiko push his buttons was great fun! Hehe, Katsu pretty *is* a pyromanic bomb user in fic. *thinks about that* Nooooo, no more fics! Three is way over the limit already!
MissBehavin: Aoshi's humor was... difficult. I have a dry sense of humor, but it's sadistic and twisted. His is just practical, omg, what are these peoples' deal? sort of humor. (Now we're assuming he has one! I don't know, he seems pretty serious to me ~.^). As for Tokio, she's writting herself @_@ I have no control over any of these characters! And apparently she doesn't [want it to work]. Saitoh can't throw his hands up and walk off. Divorse was a BIG NO-NO back then... doesn't mean you can't have *cough*'accidents' *snicker*. Like her 'accidently' falling down the well while Lobo ate some stryctionide poison so he couldn't play 'Lassie'. All I can say is children are good relationship savers sometimes and if they got rid of Hiko there's half the problem (maybe more). Here's the problem: my plot is nothing like I originally planned, yet her character refuses to mold into something more suitable. And believe me, what I had planned before Saitoh would have deserved that and a whole lot more! I love my sibs more than anything, but I'd bust their butts if they tried that on me! Hehe, it's like, no Katsu, bomb, get the bomb! Math sucks, and I've learned you shouldn't read funny things (like Hiko coming on to Aoshi with Misao right behind them) when you're in the library either.
Wistful-Eyes: Yes, and he's so sane. Well, you know, more sane anyway. Tokio has problems ^^ but switching sides in the middle of things is great fun. Try it. Yup, 2. This one was written at a decent hour, but I think it's even more insane!
eriesalia: God: *looking for lightning bolts* *gives up* Hmm, maybe I should just wipe out the whole town with a tornado? Apparently he doesn't, and the way he said it makes you think it's a chronic habit. As you can see! Aoshi and Wolfwood. I started howling with laughter when I read that (I'm easily amused). He'd have to take up some smoking, but he's got that metal cross he dragged out of the church at Christmas... who's to say!
fyyrose: Okay, so I missed half of IY! That's no reason not to review and take credit!... Wait, if you don't... hey, more credit for me! Mwahaha.
