Disclaimer- I am currently in negotiations over the ownership of Severus Snape. Apparently it's unlawful to just steal characters and hold them for ransom. door kicks in "Police! Freeze!" Uh-oh. grabs a bound and gagged Severus from the closet and slings him over her shoulder Ok, so he's not mine…yet =^_^=.
Harry desperately fled through the dark halls of Snape Manor, not really seeing or caring where he was going. He just felt so sick and angry. He didn't know who he was anymore. Already he could feel the tingle of hunger gnawing at the back of his brain. He was used to the sensation after living with the Dursleys, so he figured he could endure it for quite some time.
Harry turned right and opened the door. The room was decorated calmly, yet quite extravagantly. It was surprisingly decorated in the colors of Gryffindor. The thought of having his house colors surround him gave him some sense of serenity. Spotting a large armchair, he laid back upon it. His head throbbed, and Harry felt like he could feel every pulse that went through his temples. Placing his hands across his brow, Harry was quite surprised when they came away wet. 'Pull yourself together Harry.'
He sat there for some time trying desperately to try and remember the essay he had written on vampyres for Professor Lupin two year ago. Lupin! Perhaps he should write Moony about this. He certainly would have a better understanding of things like this and a sudden change in "lifestyle". But that would entail telling him about Snape. He would definitely not be as freaked out as Sirius, but he couldn't picture Lupin being particularly happy. Remus had always been understanding about things at Hogwarts though, and he knew how to keep a secret. Harry wished Lupin were here now so he could talk to him; he doubted Snape would allow him to owl Remus. Perhaps when he was back at Hogwarts he would write him.
Harry let out a heavy sigh and curled his arms around his knees. He was beginning to feel kind of lonely with no one to talk to. At least Hogwarts started in two weeks. He didn't know if he should be happy or scared, AND he was going to have to spend time with "daddy dearest". He just needed some time to think this new development over. Jeez, couldn't Snape have waited awhile to drop that bomb?
Harry thought about what he was going to do next. Placing his head on his knees and removing his glasses, Harry rubbed his eyes in an attempt to dislodge the stress today had put on him. He felt tired already even though he had only awoken about an hour earlier. He refused to let himself sink back into such a lethargic state. Picking himself off the chair, he circled the room. While it was pleasant, there was nothing particularly remarkable about the room besides its colouring. The room he had previously been in had merely been red, but here the crimson and gold swirled about in what seemed like a constant motion. 'Must be some sort of wizarding décor.' He wondered why Snape had this room here in the first place.
However, mere wall colour was not enough to keep Harry entertained for hours on end. Carefully he crept to the door to listen for any sound that could be a signal of Snape looking for him. He heard nothing and peeked out the door. His suspicions were confirmed, and Harry found himself examining the rest of the house. 'I wonder what kind of salary Snape gets at Hogwarts,' Harry thought to himself as he notice how carefully everything was arranged and in such splendor. It was a bit too meticulous for Harry's taste.
A devilish grin swept Harry face. He knew immediately that he wanted, no needed, to find Snape's room. He giggled at the remembrance of Snape in his nightgown during 4th year. Harry wandered through the halls, hoping that the next door was Snape's. He had no idea how many rooms this house held, but he didn't fancy the idea of looking through all of them.
After about twenty minutes of searching, Harry gave up, but one last door was just begging for him to open it. 'Might as well.' Bingo. Harry didn't know what he was expecting, perhaps a green and silver motif (some of the other rooms had been in this scheme, but he had found out quickly that these rooms were uninhabited). He didn't know how he knew, but nevertheless did, that this was Snape's room.
The room was solid black, with a canopy bed, and as the crowning piece- several black armchairs surrounded a fireplace, no doubt for flooing or communication. Quickly, Harry ran over to the closet. Unsurprisingly, it was filled with black robe made of various materials. There was a small chest of drawers that Harry could guess the contents of. He open the top draw filled with inky black. Harry picked up a portion of it. 'I knew it! Boxers. Well, guess I win the bet, Ron,' he smirked to himself. Ron had thought that perhaps the potion master's crankiness was due to, ahem, being too restricted.
Harry exited the walk-in closet and eyed the fireplace. He sauntered over and sat in one of the soft, high-backed chairs. Comfy. His attention was drawn to the small round table next to the chair. Harry felt drawn to the piece of paper and the box that lay on top of it. There was also a glass that smelt quite rank on the table as well, and Harry tried his best to ignore it.
Settling into the cushiony warmth, he picked up the note and began to read.
Snape's eyes flew across the titles of the many volumes in his library. Deftly, he picked out the ones he though would be pertinent. If Harry could have seen the accumulating stack of extracurricular reading he was going to have to do, he would have fainted right on the spot.
Severus's thoughts floated back to when his father had shown him what it meant to be a Snape. He shuddered at the memory. No, things would be taught correctly this time. If it hadn't been for Dumbledore, his entire class probably wouldn't have seen graduation. Except for Malfoy. He always had a way of escaping any situation. The more it dripped with pain and anguish, the more pleasurable it was for Lucius to revel in it and easier to slip away. Snape pitied Draco. God knows what he saw and experienced in that house. It would only be a matter of time before another mask bearing cold blue eyes entered Voldemort's circle of death.
Snape returned his attention to his book selection; such thoughts were best left for another time. In any case, at the rate he was going, Harry wouldn't finished reading until long after graduation. That's the way Snape liked it- a continuous education.
His slender fingers fell upon a red leather bound book. Instead to tossing it into the ever-growing pile, he caressed the cover. In gold letters it read- Dracula. Lily had given it to him. He had found it hilarious, wrought with errors everywhere. In other words, a piece of pure fiction-though not without its entertainment value. Lily had been puzzled by his reaction to it. She had asked him if he did not find some notes of truth within it. Looking back he realized that she had been referring to the relationship between Mina and Dracula- doomed but undeniable, thwarted by that irksome Jonathan.
He placed the book against his chest. Yes, the boy would definitely have to read this to know how mistaken muggles were about vampires…but not this copy. Gently, he placed it back on the shelf. Due to this distraction, what he failed to realize was that his young stead had already entered the room.
"What's that?"
Snape spun around. He quickly squelched the anger that the unexpected entrance had caused and replaced it with his normal cool façade. "It is a book that is very dear to me. Your mother gave it to me."
Almost under his breath, Harry thought he heard Snape mutter, "for my 16th birthday." Somehow Harry couldn't picture Snape being 16. He felt it wise not to pursue the book further; he had other things on his mind.
"I found this." Harry thrust out the note he had found in Snape's room. For a second, Snape's eyes blazed with anger. Severus snatched the note out of his hands. He felt panicked. How much had Harry seen in his room? This could be bad, very bad.
But, no. Now thinking back he had, at least, put that somewhere else, somewhere safe. Harry was not ready for that yet, nor would he ever be. It didn't concern the boy anyway. Counting backward from 50, Severus unclenched his teeth and relaxed. It would not do if he kept exploding at the boy.
Snape replied in a clam, but deadly voice, "Never enter my room again, unless I bid you to do so."
Harry swallowed. Still his determination drove him forward. "I…I think I understand things a little better now. I'm trying to accept this, and it would help me out a lot if you could try to do so too. I been under a lot of stress this past year," an image of Cedric Diggory's dead eyes staring at him flashed through Harry's brain, "and I think that we should just try and get through this."
Severus sighed. He knew Harry was having a difficult time dealing with Diggory's death, as well as the dreams he was doubtlessly having about Voldemort. He stared into those green eyes, the same ones that that stared up at him over 20 years ago, begging him to stop…no, he didn't want to think about that either.
"Is it because I look like James? I've always known you hated him, and now I see that it was due to much more than the resentment of him saving you life. Is that why you hate me so much? Because he took what you wanted?"
"He took my life away! He did nothing to deserve Lily." Severus was surprised to find himself on the verge of tears. 'No, not in front of the boy. It's not like I did anything to deserve Lily either.'
What surprised him further was that he found himself in an embrace. He tightened his grip on the boy. He hadn't been this close to anyone in a long time.
Harry pulled away, forgiveness and concern in his eyes. 'Damn him! He is too perfect, too much like James. Too much like Lily.'
"I read the part about the glamoure. If you want, you could use that charm on me." While Snape was muttering to himself about how the perfect Potter wanted to make him fell better (the mask had gone back up), Harry's heart was pounding. He wanted to know what he really looked like. He had always wondered how it was possible that he was an exact copy of James Potter; how he could never change hairstyles. Harry had felt like Professor McGonagall sometimes forgot that he wasn't James Potter. What would he friends think? How would Voldemort react? Would he look like Snape?! Truth was Harry Potter (now Snape) was afraid.
Severus rubbed the spot on his chest where the medallion lay underneath his robes. He was very curious as to what the boy would really look like. Was it worth the risk? If Voldemort found out…Well, he would be more than willing to pay the price, but he was not willing to let Harry do so.
Snape licked his dry lips, "Do you want me to? I don't think I could re-establish a glamoure as good as this one. Perhaps a temporary one…"
Harry considered all the possibilities; his friends' reaction of course, but he knew Snape was probably worried about Voldemort finding out. It was the reason his mother had left Snape after all, but if Snape could whip up some potion or charm that could temporarily, yet consistently, replace his soon-to-be reveled self then there shouldn't be a problem. Besides he had promised himself to face the truth no matter what.
"Yes. I do want to know who I really am." Hastily he added, "As long as you can polyjuice me back."
Snape become lost in his own passionate thoughts of potions, and his eyes it up with a childish delight. "No, polyjuice would never do. Perhaps if I added some dragon's blood to some boomslang…"
"Professor!"
If Harry didn't know better he would have thought Snape was blushing like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Snape cleared his throat, "Of…of course. I could think of something to perhaps create an image of your current self, but you would probably have to take a daily portion of it." Severus's mouth twitched with anticipation. He loved a challenge, especially when it came to potions. He noticed Harry restlessly shuffling his feet in a 'let's get this over with' look on his face.
Snape looked around the shelves. Where had he put that book? Deftly he swooped (in a very bat like fashion, Harry thought) to the other side of the room and snatched a blue book from the shelf. He thumbed through it quickly, his thin fingers working as if they were separate entities from his body. Suddenly they stopped and Harry felt Snape's black orbs pierce his own green ones.
"Are you ready?"
"Yes," which came out more like a squeak instead of the confident affirmation Harry wanted it to. He stood up straight and clinched his fist. 'Oh, boy. Here we go.' Harry said one last good-bye to his small nose.
Snape gave him a small nod and began, holding the charm in his left hand.
"Dimittus persona. Indigus diutius ni. Aperio verum ipsum."
Harry felt his body tingle, which increased to a kind of itching sensation. It reminded him of when he had used the polyjuice potion in second year. He could feel his skin and bones stretching out. It wasn't uncomfortable, but he didn't really like it either. He just shut his eyes tighter and waited for this to be over. It was weird feeling the pajamas he was wearing slid up higher on his legs and farther up his arms. In fact, they were feeling a bit tight now. Perhaps he would have done this wearing just a robe, but hindsight is 20/20.
Snape watched the transformation with a silent amazement. Of course he had seen similar transformations before, but watching Harry lose his childlike features was odd. He watched with a sort of morbid glee as James Potter's face melted away…
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A/N- Thanks for the all reviews! Sorry to make this so long, but I was just bitten by inspiration. I'm also sorry about my horrible Latin- it's been 7 years since I took it and I can't remember which declension everything should be in. Basically (and badly) it translates to "Abandon this mask. You need it no longer. I reveal the true self."
xikum- Well, isn't Snape sometimes irrationally mean to Harry anyway? Just trying to show how upset Snape is over all this, and how childish he can be expressing his dissatisfaction. I'm trying to have him adjust, but well, Snape's been Snape for about 40 years so it's going to be hard for him to change. Thanks for your excellent review!
