'Your funeral buddy.'
I gulped. The butterflies in my stomach had long since died and were now rotting in acidic juices. If I put this off any longer they might go all the way through.
'You volunteered wussy boy.'
"That I did." I sighed under my breath. Why? Why me?
"Are you going to come in Kenshin?"
Good question. Was it too late to turn tail and run? Hiding under the bed was looking pretty good at the moment. Or maybe just hit the trail.
"Yes Miss Kaoru."
I pushed open the door, not quite sure what I would see. To my relief everything was as I left it. The ingredients were lined up neatly on the counter with the measuring cups and spoons set in front of them. The bowls and cookie sheet were set to the side. If there was one thing necessary for good cooking that was a clean kitchen.
'Housewife.'
But it's true! You don't want to spread germs or mix up your foods when doing a full dinner.
'They mix in your stomach anyway.' Battousai snorted, but continued to watch keenly. I know he was sitting in wait for me to make a fool out of myself. Well, I would just have to prove him wrong. After all, Miss Kaoru was a bright, competent young woman. She should have no problem picking up on the basics. 'An overestimation.'
"Kenshin," I turned and had to smile at her outfit. She was wearing the usual, but over it was an apron that might as well have belonged to Kamatari. I briefly wondered if the person who made it was truly color blind or just so eccentric that they thought that neon orange and pastel green went together. "I'm ready!"
And so it commenced.
I ushered her over next to me where she fidgeted nervously. I don't know why she was jumpy she wasn't the one teaching. The one who was in the immediate embarrassment zone was myself. I'd never taught anything to anyone. And my only point of reference was Master. I could just imagine how well that would go over. You couldn't even mention his name without her face clouding over with thunderheads. He made quite the impression, as usual.
"Okay Miss Kaoru. The first thing we need to do is sift the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt in. Just be careful of the… salt." Too late. That's okay, they were peanut butter cookies, the saltier the better right? She was trying to scoop the small mound of salt off the top of the flour with little success.
"Sorry Kenshin."
"That's okay Miss Kaoru. Next you need to crack three eggs in that bowl over there." I handed her the mentioned bowl. It was small and separate to catch any stray shells. There wasn't supposed to be crunch in cookies.
She busted the first egg. Her eyes narrowed and she reached for the second. I intercepted, taking the fragile white orb out of her hands. She watched me with a look of 'I can do this' and 'I don't need your help'.
"Miss Kaoru, egg cracking is a very delicate and secret art," I said then lowered my voice, "One cannot learn it overnight, that they cannot. However, this unworthy one would be honored to demonstrate the correct procedure." I executed a bow and waited patiently. I had never really teased her before. Then again, there was always someone else around getting in the way.
She giggled, "Go ahead then Kenshin. Show me the secret."
I gently tapped the egg's curved side on the sharp edge of the counter. A thin, precise crack snaked up the middle. With ease born of practice I exerted pressure with my thumbs splitting the shell perfectly. The yolk oozed out nicely, remaining intact. With three precise, extravagant flicks I rid the shell of the excess and set it aside, one side cupped in the other.
'And you called me a show pony.' Battousai grumped. I'm sure he was hoping she'd give me a beating. But I usually did fairly well on my own. I just had to remember she was like a mine. The slightest pressure in the wrong place could set her off. Otherwise she was a generous, sunny woman with a kind heart.
'I noticed you didn't say gentle.'
"Wow. How did you do that?" I showed her again, this time without the showmanship. She looked uncertainly when I held out the last egg to her.
"I don't know Kenshin. I could mess it all up, and your perfect yolk would get shell in them." She said timidly. I took her hand and placed the egg in it. With a reassuring smile I encouraged, "You'll do just fine Miss Kaoru."
"Here goes."
'Yes, definitely, here goes.'
She broke the shell messily and yanked it apart, but only a few flakes descended into the yellow pool.
"I didn't smash the egg!" She yipped with joy. Grabbing my hands in hers she did an energetic dance of pure joy and accomplishment. Which would have been nice if I didn't step in the unfortunate remains of the original yolk.
"Oro?" I'm sure my eyes were swirling like mad and my head was throbbing. Picking myself up slowly I found her cleaning it up.
"I'm sorry Kenshin, it was all my fault!"
I raised an eyebrow while her back was turned to me. Her fault that I was a klutz even when I wasn't pretending to be? It was nice that she would take the blame, but…
'Puke… it is her fault.' I glared. He stood loosely behind the bars with his calm amber eyes on mine. It was kind of odd; he hadn't tried to escape for days. Actually, rather than odd it was worrisome. Was he just waiting for me to drop my guard, or was my life suddenly so boring that it was more fun to watch? I suppose since there hadn't been as many strange characters around the days were a bit dull.
Sano and Miss Misao, along with Yahiko, were helping to rebuilding the church. I didn't know why Sano would bother until I was informed that they gave out free meals to the workers. Saitoh still spent a lot of time at home. After all, his child was only a few weeks old. Kamatari and Yumi hadn't changed a bit and no one knew about their relationship yet. I suspect they rather enjoy getting each other in hot water. With Miss Megumi gone the clinic had been occupied by the old doctor with the two cute granddaughters. They still call me Shinta.
'Thank you, he's gone.'
He… I… was cute.
"It is not your fault Miss Kaoru. This unworthy one should be more careful, that he should." I said rubbing the back of my tender head.
"If I wasn't so awful in the kitchen I wouldn't have cracked that egg and you wouldn't have slipped!" She protested cutely. Yes, I know. I've given up on correcting myself. I allow myself to call her cute among other things. I know, you're gagging on the fact that I'm getting fluffier than a cottontail. So I'll just move on.
I grabbed her hand and took the sponge away. She looked up in confusion and I pulled her up noticing how close she was.
'Are you at least going to kiss her this time? You let too many good chances go by.' I stuck my tongue out at him, but sighed. Was I too timid? Well, the ideals of society weren't helping. Statuary rape laws… I didn't want to be on the wolf's bad side on that issue. 'Why bother with laws? They just get in the way.'
"Miss Kaoru, you are not awful in the kitchen. It is this unworthy one's opinion that you simply were never taught, that you weren't. We cannot know what we are not taught."
'Unless you're a magical being.' Shut up, you're becoming nonsensical. 'Pretty unicorns! Called by the sweetest virgins.' That's it, no more literary classics for you. No wonder you see a plot behind everything.
The rest of the cookie baking was rather uneventful. They weren't going to be perfect, but I was sure that they would at least be edible.
'You better hope you, taste tester.'
" Kenshin, can I ask you a question?" Miss Kaoru said sitting on the chair across from me. She was chewing her lip nervously, never a good sign. "Do you like it here?"
'She means, "Will you stay".' Battousai clarified in a surprisingly neutral tone. Were all the toxins I'd been eating getting to him? 'Don't look at me like that. I know your skull is denser than Hiko gives it credit for. You don't speak woman-ese, or even understand it exists.'
I shook my head. Something was definitely wrong with him. Very wrong.
"This unworthy one enjoys his days here." I replied carefully. Tread as if each step could be your last and you will never fall.
'Or you'll just prolong your agony.' Battousai snorted, but there was no sting in his words.
"I see." Miss Kaoru said disappointment expressed in her eyes and body. Did she really want me to stay? Forever? Or would she get bored one day.
I couldn't help it! The pressure! What's a poor guy to do? Well, the smart thing would have been to sit down, shut up, and hold on for the ride. After either expressing an interest or lack thereof. What did I do? The exact opposite of course. I made a hasty excuse, told her to take the cookies out of the oven in ten minutes, and bolted for my room.
'Oh no you don't! Don't you dare!' Battousai fumed. His amber eyes flashed with ire and disbelief, "You can't spend your life running, I won't let you.'
I thought you hated this town and everyone in it.
Pausing only enough to squeeze through the door I slammed it shut behind me. I was essentially a neat, organized person and finding things was easy. My hands were nothing but a fleshy blur as they tossed all the items in that I needed.
'Yes, but you don't. I don't want to listen to you bitch, piss, and moan for however many fucking years before you come back. Then you find out that you left something behind that was irreplaceable because you were a fucking spineless coward!' He snarled, throwing himself at the bars. If he got out he would force me to stay. I re-enforced the iron hoping it would hold. I'd not seen him in such a state since Tomoe's death.
Once I had packed I went over to the window.
'You… you…' Battousai sputtered, going into a new level of rage. 'You fucking get your sorry ass out to the kitchen. You're not going to sneak out like… like some stupid spy or thief. If you're going to do this, at least be a man about it.'
I… I can't.
Battousai glared before slowly turning his back to me. With stark frustration he severed the link leaving me alone.
Ditched by my own alter ego, could it get worse? His voice echoed in my mind saying there was always farther to fall. What would I do without him? We'd been together for eleven years.
I paused at the edge of town and looked back. This was wrong. I should go back and tell Miss Kaoru that I was leaving. It was the correct and honorable thing to do. I was supposed to be the one with rigor morals, while Battousai was so loose they might as well not existed.
When I picked up the pack I felt a crinkle of paper. Curious, because I know that wasn't there before, I unfolded the carefully placed note.
Himura,
You must be on the road again if you have discovered this. I have something to admit. Chou and I were there not only for the two criminals but also to keep tabs on you as well. Sorry, but our orders were to delay you as long as possible. You will find your stolen money hidden in the bar. Ask Kamatari. As for Miss Kaoru's locket and Missus Tokio's earrings, Aoshi stole them to distract Saitoh. They are with the money; super speed does have its advantages after all. Even if I did not have time to pick up my heifer I trust that she will be well taken care of until I return. I apologize again for taking the money, if it truly was not your wish to remain. The government would most likely still offer you a position if you require more. Perhaps you can join us on the hunt, right? Ah, I ramble. Enjoy life.
Soujirou Seta
If it truly was not my wish to remain?
A/N: Okay, if I were intelligent I would just go to bed -__-' I have a killer headache and watching Angel didn't help any. Umm, disclaimers about this chapter... I was reading an awesome fight scene between Makoto Shishio and Kagato (Tenchi Muyo) going at it in Hell. Very amusing, but I'm not sure what sort of effect it had on this chapter O__O
MangoMania: I take that as a compliment of the highest sort ^_~ But I prefer the term unorthodox genius! *does silly pose* As for my imagination, that just means that part of my cerebreal cortex is working overtime.
mij: It turned out well (well, it turned out twisted, but that amounts to the same thing in this fic). I don't think anyone else has the audacity to do such things to these poor characters O__O But I don't go out of my way to read Aoshi/Meg fics, so I might have missed one. You'll get an update on the pair when I wrap everything up next update. I hope it was funny and not too twisted. It was funny (weird) to only be playing with three characters for this chapter. I'm used to at least five-twelve at a time. The way I see it; Sano's sturdy enough to put up with Misao's abuse and Misao's not too picky about... certain things O.o;; Rough housing for certain, hygiene?
MissBehavin: Sorry, well it's drawing to a close and I really want it to be. Although that means I should get my butt in gear with the sequel to Responsiblies ;__; Rivers are useful, but you can't say you didn't see that coming! *grins* Maybe he did, I leave that for interpertation LOL. Battousai is great, I love his character (even if he doesn't really exist). O__O Are you trying to reduce me to a babbling idiot? Visions like those, they're corrosive! Besides, he looks much better in blue *pretends she's not drooling*.
eriesalia: That could be great. If I ever get bored I might do that. Double-crossing is fun, and you know it would surely happen! And maybe they could run across some fun characters I was forced to leave out this time. Shishio would make a nice outlaw! That could get completely twisted. Now look what you've done! I can't put any more on my plate right now! Running three stupid fics already and two of them are only about 20 pages...
Nigihayami Haruko: I knicked the term from Austin Powers but O__O;; *nature narrator voice* Observe: the devote father loves his son so much he's even willing to share his hard-won nicotine. Wow, what a guy ^^
Wistful-Eyes: Hehe, the blockhead (or not? O.o beware, beware). Sano needed a bit of tweaking, the poor man. I made him dumb as a box of tnt in this fic. I had to write a paragraph for English -__-' I scared my peer reviewer. I ask you, am I really that bad? *Sou grin* We all know I'm strapped up for the paddy wagon...
Fyyrrose: We got our snow LMFAO, I'm glad I didn't have school today ^^ But I went to go Borders and it was closed! Dang it, I wanted to see if PSOH and Vampire Game were out yet *fumes*Ah ha, sucks to be you! I have to gloat, payback you see. We both know I'm a vindictive bitch and you watching those DVDs just SUCKS. I can just see Kaoru start beating the poor man and they both plummet downwards *starts laughing*, or maybe like the grave scene. Maybe that's why it seemed to familiar when you watched it. Hiko can try... I am AUTHOR behold my POWER. Katsu deserves more credit. You know, he's more like a weasel than Misao... You may NOT eat Katsu, literally or figuratively. I have some fun plans for him in Shoulder Angels... not for awhile, since we have to get through the Fujita fam. first and the poor, poor unsuspecting Aoiya residents as well as the Great Man himself. LMFAO, I need you for that! Can you imagine?!! Fluff, you know I was so tired on Monday night I went down and watched InuYasha. WTF?!! I had to pick the fluffiest I/K eppy ever! I mean, come on. Last night's was much better. Kohaku ^__^ and last Thurs. was Kikiyo. I got stuck with the boring, sappy one X_X If she looked like their kid then Yahiko looked like Sano and Kaoru's kid! That's all I have to say about that crap. Kite's not evil! She just has no freakin' clue of the damage and havoc she creates in her wake. I mean, she doesn't even realize Misao's been attempting to kill her X__X;; and she tried to bribe Aoshi with tea. Shadow, Raven, and the Devil's own luck is the only thing that's kept her alive this long :D
Houndingwolf: Acting smart, keywords. Who knows what goes on under that spiky hair? Besides the normal 19-yr-old hormones, goals, desires, and spaciness. Believe me, I know all about those. B will get his say, don't worry!
