Sweet Words I Want to Hear

Chapter 1

     Kagome ran her fingers through her ebony hair and sighed, looking at herself in the mirror. 

     She didn't like what she saw, she hardly ever did.

     It never really mattered to her . . . but for some reason . . .

     Some reason it did then.  At that moment. 

     At that moment by herself, when the world wasn't looking at her.

     When it was just her.

     Kagome and her own reflection.

     Her entire school thought she was beautiful.

     Hojo relentlessly hunted her down each day between classes, begging for a date . . .

     And Kouga . . . well, he was just an animal.

     Miroku said she was beautiful once or twice . . . among other things . . .

     It was things like that . . . phrases that made a girl feel special. 

     Feel beautiful . . .

     But that was not how she felt. 

     Tenderly, she touched her cheek, feeling her skin against her finger.  It was warm and soft . . .

     But chubby to her . . .

     She wasn't pretty at all . . .

     At least, not in the eyes of the one she had always wanted to hear it from.  His voice remained silent for as long as she knew him.  Refusing to give her so much as a soft hint of what he thought of her, other than a jewel detector . . .

     She knew Inu-Yasha liked her . . . she was useful and he protected her . . .

     How he threw himself in front of a blast from the Tetsusiaga for her . . .

     How he pulled her from the miasma . . .

     Protected her from Sesshoumaru . . . at least tried to . . .

     He was always there for her . . .

     But a kind word . . . that was all she wanted . . . it was all that she needed.

     No one knew how she felt, though.  She was so proper and cocky when around her friends.  Never daring to allow herself to seem weak in her image.  She knew Sango thought she was pretty, as far as females regarding females are concerned, but another females opinion was not what she wanted . . .

     For once . . . she wanted Inu-Yasha to say so . . .

     She wanted him to tell her so . . .

     To tell her she's beautiful! 

     It was all she wanted to hear from him to lift the veil of self doubt from her. 

     His arms around her was all she needed to feel safe.

     His strength was all she needed to be comforted.

     But why did she feel so vulnerable at her own home.

     Her mother was there, but she was too busy dealing with her own problems.

     Grandpa was there, but he was too busy exorcizing demons to notice her.

     Sota would only say how pretty she was, but he was only a little boy.  He didn't know any better – only wanted to make her happy. 

    A tear slid down her cheek as she slumped onto her bed, throwing her hands over her face, shielding any light that dared to creep into her eyes.

     She wanted to disappear.  To hide away from the world so no one could see her.

     She was weak and she hated to feel so. 

     School work suddenly didn't matter to her as she lay there, a night away from going to the Feudal Era, all her friends a million miles away in her head.  Their laughter meaning nothing to her . . .

     She was alone and she hated it . . .

     But why did she feel this way?  Why . . .

     Inu-Yasha could have Kikyou!

     Miroku could have Sango . . . and Kagome was sure he'd like it that way too . . .

     But her?  When the entire Jewel thing was over with . . . who would she have?  What would she have? 

     A broken heart? 

     The prospect of ever loving anyone as much as she loved Inu-Yasha were dim. 

     Without him there would be nothing left to life.  No jokes.  No fun.

     No one to protect her.

     Without him, she felt naked.  Alone.  Scared.  Like a child lost from her parents in a dark forest where monsters lurked in the undergrowth.

     She could feel them watching her . . .

     Without Inu-Yasha, she was vulnerable. 

     She hated it!

     She hated this feeling!

     How could she be such a fool?

     Why was she feeling so down?

     All she wanted was to be back in time with Inu-Yasha . . .

     But he wasn't expecting her.

     Maybe . . . maybe if she went back then and surprised him? 

     It was dark out, so it would be night in the Feudal Era . . .

     If she went back and told him how she felt . . . maybe he'd take her hand and hold her close to him.

     Of course, knowing Inu-Yasha . . . he probably wouldn't . . .

     And what if he didn't feel the same towards her? 

     What if he shunned her . . . insulted her . . .

     Her heart couldn't take it!

     What did she have to lose?  She thought darkly to herself.

     Nothing.

     Lifting herself from her soft bed she bypassed her already packed backpack and headed for the downstairs with only a sweater, jeans and a head full of worry. 

     What foolery was this?

     What idiocy?

     But as she gently shut the screen door behind her and headed towards the well, she didn't care . . .

     What was to become of her after all this was over? 

     Suddenly the present didn't matter to her anymore as much as hearing simple words from Inu-Yasha . . . even if she traded her entire life just to be told he loved her . . . that he thought she was beautiful . . .

     Kagome stood at the well, staring into its depths with a breath.  A cold wind blew through her sweater . . . but she ignored it.  With a defiant leap, she slung her legs over the wooden side and fell into the sparkling blue . . .

*** This is totally experimental.  And I do use the word 'mental' very heavily in that last sentence! ;O) Anyway, please review – even if you don't like it.  I want to know!  I know I have more stories that need written and done but this one just forced it's way onto the keyboard!  I will not continue this story unless told to!  It is a vote then!  If anyone cares what Inu-Yasha has to say to her – then review it!  If not . . . sniff then poor Kagome must go on with her pathetic life without ever knowing and what will happen to her?  Running away – into which era?  Suicide?  I don't know innocent shrug.  Maybe more?  Let me know!!! REVIEWS ARE GOOD!!! ***