I leave the door ajar, letting Jack come to me during the night if he needs
to. I quickly change tops, since the one I'm wearing is soaked through and
I slip into bed and close my eyes with a soft breath.
****
A few minutes pass and I hear a soft rap outside my door. I slip out of bed, glancing through the peephole, to see Martin. I feel myself growing nervous and quickly head to the adjoining door, to shut it quietly, before opening the front door.
"Hey," I whisper, surprised to see him over here.
"Did Jack tell you he called us in?"
"Yeah. He's sleeping right now, though," I state softly, hinting for Martin to keep his voice down.
"Oh," he nods moving inside and shutting the door behind him. "I heard the news."
"Yeah, tough case. It'll be even worse if we don't find out who did it."
"It's no longer our case," Martin reminds me.
"I know. Jack talked about calling into the station in the morning to see if they needed any extra hands on board, or if they had anything for us to look into."
"Is that such a good idea?"
"I think we have a right to know. Besides, I think it would be best if one of us told the family rather then some stranger."
"And we're not strangers?" Martin muses.
"You know what I mean," I roll my eyes and take a seat on my bed. "Where's the rest of the team staying?"
"I'm next door to you; too bad we're not adjoining," he grins and I laugh softly, shaking my head.
"What about Vivian and Danny?"
"They're two doors apart. Apparently someone else came up here to stay the night. Who'd have thought that?"
"Oh, Martin," I breathe out, shaking my head with a laugh as he moves to take a seat on my bed.
"I missed working with you. It's not as much fun flirting with Danny," he grins as I shake my head in amusement. "How are you and Jack working out?" His eyes meet mine and I have no time to lie.
"It's been hard, but we're managing," I answer honestly.
"Hard as in he's giving you a hard time? I can talk to him if you want."
"No," I shake my head. "He's going through a rough time with Maria. I was trying to offer him advice, but I doubt he'll take it."
"What'd you tell him?"
"Pretty much if the job's killing his marriage and he wants his marriage to work, then he's got to ditch his job."
"Ouch," Martin winces. "How'd he take it?"
"I'm not really sure," I answer. "He went to sleep and I came back in here to shower."
"Must have been a while ago." He fingers his hand in my hair and the long ends are still wet, while the rest is mostly dry.
"Yeah," I nod in response, feeling slightly transfixed by his hand in my hair. The feelings I had for Jack less than an hour ago haven't dissolved, and my body is still craving to be touched. I feel guilty using Martin in such a way and even worse---in a sense--- for betraying Jack, even if he did end it between us.
I lie back against the mattress, gesturing for Martin to come up beside me. He unlaces his shoes and crawls onto the bed, moving onto his side to face me.
I rest on my back, staring up at the ceiling and feel Martin's gaze on me. "What are you thinking about?"
"What's going to happen tomorrow," I state.
He eyes me to go on, but I don't want to---not really anyways. I yearn to be with Jack, but he's stated the obvious: we can't be together even if we wanted to. I can't live my life as a lie, hiding from the world and pretending to just be working together.
"Samantha, what's the worst that could happen?"
"You could break my heart," I whisper, thinking how Jack crushed me and I've still yet to get over him.
"You'd probably break mine first," he answers with a soft laugh. I glance up into his eyes, realizing that it just might be the case someday if I don't return the sentimental three words I don't feel for him. "Samantha, you've done a lot more for a lot less."
"Gee thanks," I sit up angrily.
"That came out wrong," he grimaces.
"I know what you meant," I answer bitterly. "Please leave."
"Samantha."
"NOW!" My voice rises and my eyes grow fierce before Martin takes the hint and ushers himself out of my room.
I curl onto my bed, feeling tears pour from my eyes as my body shakes with sobs. I can't control my breathing and feel myself growing breathless from the emotional turmoil. I feel warm hands around me and immediately shake them away. "I told you to go away."
"Sam," I hear Jack's voice and roll around to see his sleepy form with a hand on my shoulder. "Mind if sit down?" I make room for him, feeling him pull me into his embrace as I rest my head in the crook of his neck, letting the floodgates open. "Shhh," he whispers, his hands running soft circles over my back as I try and catch my breath.
"Jack," I breathe out between tears, feeling my heart ache and my head heavy. I feel his cool hand on my forehead, trying to calm me down as he presses soft kisses to my head and cheeks.
"Shhh," he tells me, "it's okay." I feel him gently rock me in a coaxing mechanism and I laugh slightly from the absurdity of the gesture. "What?" He eyes me, probably thinking I've lost it as he kisses away a few more tears. "You want to talk about it?"
"Not really," I answer, slightly embarrassed by the conversation I had with Martin. Embarrassed that Martin and perhaps the others see me in such an awful light. I roll out from Jack's arms, moving to lie back on the pillows.
My eyes are filled with pain as I glance towards the wall where Martin resides. How could I have been so stupid? I shake my head and feel more tears making their way to the surface.
Jack slides further onto the bed and helps me slip beneath the covers. "You should get some rest." His eyes look filled with pain as well and that alone breaks my heart. "Whatever happened," Jack leans down to press a kiss to my forehead, "it'll be forgotten."
"No it won't," I answer soundly. "He said something I can never forgive, not if that's what he thinks of me."
"Who? Martin?"
I nod my head as Jack puts the pieces together. "Are they here?" I nod my head as he comprehends what's going on. He presses a soft kiss to my lips before shutting off the light.
"Don't go," I whisper out in a hush.
"Sam, I have to."
"Please," I practically beg aloud.
"All right. Can you give me two minutes?"
I nod my head and feel him give me another kiss before he slips back into his room and I hear the front door shut. "Shit," I gasp out, realizing he's going to find Martin and talk to him. Not a good idea. I bury my head in the pillow to keep the muffled voices between the paper-thin walls from my ears. Their tones grow louder between one another before I hear someone knocking on Martin's door and a third voice interfering. It sounds like Vivian. I tug the blanket tightly to my body, and a minute or so later I hear Jack's door open.
He comes into the room, shutting off the light and slipping between the covers. "I talked to him."
"What'd you say?"
"I told him he needed to think about whatever it is he did to upset you, because tomorrow you'll have to work together."
I groan and feel Jack's hand move to my hip. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, Sam. Promise me something."
"Hmmmm?"
"If you ever do decide to get married and have kids, you won't settle. I want you to find someone you're madly in love with."
"Jack," I whisper.
"That was the mistake I made when I was younger. I rushed into getting married because I thought I wouldn't find anyone else. I needed someone and so I found Maria. I didn't realize the outcome it could have on my life. Just promise me," he pauses, "that you'll find someone who appreciates you, loves you, and worships you."
"That might be hard," I answer with a soft, sad smile as I cuddle into his frame before falling into a light, yet warm and comfortable sleep.
****
A few minutes pass and I hear a soft rap outside my door. I slip out of bed, glancing through the peephole, to see Martin. I feel myself growing nervous and quickly head to the adjoining door, to shut it quietly, before opening the front door.
"Hey," I whisper, surprised to see him over here.
"Did Jack tell you he called us in?"
"Yeah. He's sleeping right now, though," I state softly, hinting for Martin to keep his voice down.
"Oh," he nods moving inside and shutting the door behind him. "I heard the news."
"Yeah, tough case. It'll be even worse if we don't find out who did it."
"It's no longer our case," Martin reminds me.
"I know. Jack talked about calling into the station in the morning to see if they needed any extra hands on board, or if they had anything for us to look into."
"Is that such a good idea?"
"I think we have a right to know. Besides, I think it would be best if one of us told the family rather then some stranger."
"And we're not strangers?" Martin muses.
"You know what I mean," I roll my eyes and take a seat on my bed. "Where's the rest of the team staying?"
"I'm next door to you; too bad we're not adjoining," he grins and I laugh softly, shaking my head.
"What about Vivian and Danny?"
"They're two doors apart. Apparently someone else came up here to stay the night. Who'd have thought that?"
"Oh, Martin," I breathe out, shaking my head with a laugh as he moves to take a seat on my bed.
"I missed working with you. It's not as much fun flirting with Danny," he grins as I shake my head in amusement. "How are you and Jack working out?" His eyes meet mine and I have no time to lie.
"It's been hard, but we're managing," I answer honestly.
"Hard as in he's giving you a hard time? I can talk to him if you want."
"No," I shake my head. "He's going through a rough time with Maria. I was trying to offer him advice, but I doubt he'll take it."
"What'd you tell him?"
"Pretty much if the job's killing his marriage and he wants his marriage to work, then he's got to ditch his job."
"Ouch," Martin winces. "How'd he take it?"
"I'm not really sure," I answer. "He went to sleep and I came back in here to shower."
"Must have been a while ago." He fingers his hand in my hair and the long ends are still wet, while the rest is mostly dry.
"Yeah," I nod in response, feeling slightly transfixed by his hand in my hair. The feelings I had for Jack less than an hour ago haven't dissolved, and my body is still craving to be touched. I feel guilty using Martin in such a way and even worse---in a sense--- for betraying Jack, even if he did end it between us.
I lie back against the mattress, gesturing for Martin to come up beside me. He unlaces his shoes and crawls onto the bed, moving onto his side to face me.
I rest on my back, staring up at the ceiling and feel Martin's gaze on me. "What are you thinking about?"
"What's going to happen tomorrow," I state.
He eyes me to go on, but I don't want to---not really anyways. I yearn to be with Jack, but he's stated the obvious: we can't be together even if we wanted to. I can't live my life as a lie, hiding from the world and pretending to just be working together.
"Samantha, what's the worst that could happen?"
"You could break my heart," I whisper, thinking how Jack crushed me and I've still yet to get over him.
"You'd probably break mine first," he answers with a soft laugh. I glance up into his eyes, realizing that it just might be the case someday if I don't return the sentimental three words I don't feel for him. "Samantha, you've done a lot more for a lot less."
"Gee thanks," I sit up angrily.
"That came out wrong," he grimaces.
"I know what you meant," I answer bitterly. "Please leave."
"Samantha."
"NOW!" My voice rises and my eyes grow fierce before Martin takes the hint and ushers himself out of my room.
I curl onto my bed, feeling tears pour from my eyes as my body shakes with sobs. I can't control my breathing and feel myself growing breathless from the emotional turmoil. I feel warm hands around me and immediately shake them away. "I told you to go away."
"Sam," I hear Jack's voice and roll around to see his sleepy form with a hand on my shoulder. "Mind if sit down?" I make room for him, feeling him pull me into his embrace as I rest my head in the crook of his neck, letting the floodgates open. "Shhh," he whispers, his hands running soft circles over my back as I try and catch my breath.
"Jack," I breathe out between tears, feeling my heart ache and my head heavy. I feel his cool hand on my forehead, trying to calm me down as he presses soft kisses to my head and cheeks.
"Shhh," he tells me, "it's okay." I feel him gently rock me in a coaxing mechanism and I laugh slightly from the absurdity of the gesture. "What?" He eyes me, probably thinking I've lost it as he kisses away a few more tears. "You want to talk about it?"
"Not really," I answer, slightly embarrassed by the conversation I had with Martin. Embarrassed that Martin and perhaps the others see me in such an awful light. I roll out from Jack's arms, moving to lie back on the pillows.
My eyes are filled with pain as I glance towards the wall where Martin resides. How could I have been so stupid? I shake my head and feel more tears making their way to the surface.
Jack slides further onto the bed and helps me slip beneath the covers. "You should get some rest." His eyes look filled with pain as well and that alone breaks my heart. "Whatever happened," Jack leans down to press a kiss to my forehead, "it'll be forgotten."
"No it won't," I answer soundly. "He said something I can never forgive, not if that's what he thinks of me."
"Who? Martin?"
I nod my head as Jack puts the pieces together. "Are they here?" I nod my head as he comprehends what's going on. He presses a soft kiss to my lips before shutting off the light.
"Don't go," I whisper out in a hush.
"Sam, I have to."
"Please," I practically beg aloud.
"All right. Can you give me two minutes?"
I nod my head and feel him give me another kiss before he slips back into his room and I hear the front door shut. "Shit," I gasp out, realizing he's going to find Martin and talk to him. Not a good idea. I bury my head in the pillow to keep the muffled voices between the paper-thin walls from my ears. Their tones grow louder between one another before I hear someone knocking on Martin's door and a third voice interfering. It sounds like Vivian. I tug the blanket tightly to my body, and a minute or so later I hear Jack's door open.
He comes into the room, shutting off the light and slipping between the covers. "I talked to him."
"What'd you say?"
"I told him he needed to think about whatever it is he did to upset you, because tomorrow you'll have to work together."
I groan and feel Jack's hand move to my hip. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, Sam. Promise me something."
"Hmmmm?"
"If you ever do decide to get married and have kids, you won't settle. I want you to find someone you're madly in love with."
"Jack," I whisper.
"That was the mistake I made when I was younger. I rushed into getting married because I thought I wouldn't find anyone else. I needed someone and so I found Maria. I didn't realize the outcome it could have on my life. Just promise me," he pauses, "that you'll find someone who appreciates you, loves you, and worships you."
"That might be hard," I answer with a soft, sad smile as I cuddle into his frame before falling into a light, yet warm and comfortable sleep.
