Decisions
Author: Trekaholic
Paramount owns Enterprise. And all the stuff I put down for the first chapter applies here too.
Chapter Two
Trip was still having trouble registering what was going on as T'Pol waited outside his quarters. She was the last person he had expected to see this late, but there she was, in the flesh, wanting to talk. He was shaken out of his reverie when T'Pol spoke again.
"Commander? Are you alright?" She had taken a step closer to him.
"Uh---yeah. Sorry about that. You just caught me by surprise, that's all." He stepped aside and motioned her in with his left hand. He turned to face her once she was inside. "I wasn't expectin' any company this late."
T'Pol made her way toward his desk and stopped, also turning to face him. "I apologize for disturbing you, but there is something rather important I wished to discuss with you."
Trip saw something in her eyes. Something he had seen before when she was concentrating on her work or trying to solve a complicated problem. It was determination. Although his curiosity had taken over him, he still had some things he needed to get off his chest. "T'Pol, we've barely spoken in the past week. I was pretty sure you'd been avoidin' me, but now you show up in the middle of the night with somethin' important to tell me. You have to admit this is a little strange."
T'Pol understood his discomfort. She had been avoiding him, and she knew he deserved to know the truth. "I apologize for my behaviour. I will admit that I have been avoiding any unnecessary contact with you since you recovered." There. She finally felt---relieved to confront their situation.
Trip never thought he'd get an admission like that from her. "What made you change your mind?"
"I found it unacceptable to continue in this manner. We have known each other for some time now, and from what I understand, we have formed a friendship in human terms." She noticed his body tense at her statement. "Was I incorrect in assuming this?"
Trip started shaking his head. "No, no. Not at all T'Pol. I just never thought you saw us as friends." He regained his composure and leaned back against the wall. "I think of us as friends too. Good friends."
T'Pol was glad their conversation was going smoothly. She found it difficult to broach the more complicated part of her reason for coming, but at least he still regarded her as a friend, which made it easier for her to continue. "I am grateful for our friendship. Although it is a foreign concept to me, I am beginning to understand why it is so important to humans. Aside from spending off-duty time together, friendship entails certain responsibilities upon a person. I believe that as your friend, I have failed thus far in fulfilling my responsibilities in your time of distress." Trip was about to speak but T'Pol cut him off. "In the past, you have concerned yourself with my well-being on several occasions. After the incident with Raijin, I found it comforting that you came to visit me while I was recovering in sickbay, even though I told you your presence and constant worry were only irritating. You have offered me your support as a friend when I was in need of it, and I regret not having done the same for you."
Trip didn't know what to say or do. For once, he was just frozen in place trying to process everything that was going on. She had actually been comforted by his concern for her. He would have never imagined that, but he pushed the thought aside for a moment and decided there was something more serious he had to address. She was troubled by not being able to help him, and something inside of him rejoiced in her concern for him, but also made him realize just how much this actually bothered her.
T'Pol had turned away from him at this point. This was becoming more difficult than she had anticipated. Vulcans weren't supposed to experience these types of feelings, let alone share them with other beings. She wondered what her people would think if they ever found out how far she had strayed from the teachings of Surak? What would her family think? Before she could ponder further, she felt strong hands grip her by the shoulders and turn her around. For a moment she allowed herself to enjoy the feel of his hands on her body. It had been quite some time since their last neuro- pressure session.
"T'Pol. You can't come here and tell me you've failed me as a friend, cause it's just not true. After the attack on earth, after I found out my sister died, my whole life was fallin' apart on me. I couldn't eat or sleep and all I thought about was how bad I wanted to kill every Xindi out there. If it wasn't for you and the neuro-pressure exercises, I don't know what I woulda done."
T'Pol looked up at him. "I do not deserve the credit for that Commander. It was the Doctor who asked me to help you with neuro-pressure."
"But you accepted it. You agreed to it and stuck with it even though the last thing you probably ever wanted was to be stuck with me every other night."
"That is untrue. I must admit that in the beginning I did not think you possessed the patience to engage in neuro-pressure, but I have come to value our sessions, for they are as beneficial to me as they are to you."
Trip let go of her shoulders and took a step back. "So does that mean this week has been as bad for you as it has for me?"
"If you are referring to a feeling of emptiness by the absence of my presence, then yes."
"Then why have you been avoidin' me, T'Pol?"
She knew the question would come sooner or later, but was still as unprepared as she was before coming to his quarters. "Commander." She remembered their agreement to call each other by their first names off- duty. It had occurred some time after they began neuro-pressure, and he had persisted until she finally accepted and decided she would call him Charles, much to his protest about Trip being his preference. "Charles, when the clone was created, no one anticipated he would be so much like you. It was difficult for the crew to interact with Sim because he reminded them all of you. He reminded me of you. My time with Sim was very trying, because not only did he act in a manner similar to yours, but he also recalled your memories. He even knew of our neuro-pressure sessions, recalling them as his own."
"That must've been really weird for you." Trip was starting to understand her situation, but also felt a little uneasy about knowing all this. He wasn't too crazy about having someone else walk around with his memories and feelings.
"It was rather---unsettling. But the more time we spent together working and interacting, the more I found that being in his presence was much like being in your own. I had visited you several times in sickbay, but your condition was always unchanged. I suppose there was some measure of comfort knowing you were alive in some way through him."
Trip was glad to know she had come to see him in sickbay. It was nice to know she cared enough to check up on his condition, even if he wasn't getting any better. "It means a lot to me that you came to see how I was doin'. It's nice to know I wasn't really alone the whole time." He took a deep breath and continued. "But I need to know, T'Pol. Have you been avoidin' me because it bothers you to see me here instead of Sim?"
T'Pol hadn't expected that question, but it was a logical one. "Although the Captain and I were well aware of the ethical and moral implications involved with creating Sim, I agree that his decision was the right one. You are an important member of this crew, and you must remember that Sim was like you, but not you."
Trip walked over to his bed and sat down, leaving his hands to rest on his knees. "Then what's wrong T'Pol?"
She was being evasive, but it was time to tell him the truth. "Sim had come to my quarters to discuss his plan on releasing the ship using the shuttle pods. I told him that although there were risks and a possibility of failure, I had passed it on to the Captain. I believe his mindset was after our last neuro-pressure session because he recalled working on the neural nodes in our feet. I asked him if there was something else he wished to discuss because he seemed preoccupied. He appeared to hesitate before telling me he had deep feelings for me, and that he found it difficult to stop thinking about me."
Trip's head flew up as T'Pol finished her last sentence. He couldn't believe what she just said. Sim had told her about his feelings, and now she knew. He didn't know what he could possibly say, and before he opened his mouth not knowing what would come out, she added.
"He was very troubled because he could not decide whether the feelings were his own, or yours."
So she didn't know, but she was suspicious. Trip had done such a good job of hiding his feelings and now Sim had gone and ruined it. He would have to do some major damage control. He didn't want to lose his friendship with T'Pol. "You have to understand I never intended for any of this to happen. If I knew what went on with you two, I'd understand why you'd been avoidin' me a little better."
"I very much doubt that, Charles." T'Pol knew it was time to come clean. It was now or never. "Before his operation, I decided to visit Sim one last time. I felt it would be comforting for him to know that he had made friends in his life that would miss him." She composed her thoughts and continued. "I had my own reasons for visiting him as well. I decided that if indeed the feelings were his own and not yours, this would be my one chance to find out the true nature of my own feelings." At Trip's puzzled expression, she went on. She was as nervous as any Vulcan could be, but there was no turning back.
"During our time together on Enterprise, I have become rather---fond of you. At first I suppressed these feelings because I concluded they were the result of our continuing friendship. But after we began neuro-pressure, I realized there was something more to what I felt, an attraction I could not describe even to myself. I found it difficult to understand and deal with these emotions, but I knew for certain that I enjoyed your companionship and looked forward to the time we spent together. When Sim told me of his feelings, I decided it was an opportunity to learn how I also felt. When I went to visit him that night, I experienced an emotion I have felt in your presence before. It compelled me to kiss him, because I knew this was the human way of expressing affection. I realized in that moment that I had deep feelings for you, and that even after you recovered I would find it difficult to continue giving you neuro-pressure without having some closure."
Trip felt as if his heart was ready to beat its way out of his chest, and when he tried to take some calming breaths, it only made his heart thump louder. He was happy and nervous at the same time, mostly nervous because he never thought he'd be having a conversation like this with T'Pol. But he realized she must have been as nervous as he was since she was looking at the ground waiting for him to answer. "T'Pol, I don't know what to say. I mean---well---I never thought you could feel this way about me." This was definitely not going to be easy.
"I also never thought I was capable of feeling this way. But I have come to accept it, because denying it has been a futile attempt." She still wasn't looking at him. "I hope you understand that I never wished to avoid you after your recovery, but rather to take some time and sort my emotions out. As I have previously stated, I do value our friendship a great deal. I do believe we should discontinue our sessions but I would like to continue being your friend if that is acceptable."
Trip was confused. "Why would you want to---?" He realized then he hadn't even told her he felt the same way. She probably assumed he had no interest in her beyond that of friendship. "T'Pol, I have my own confession to make." He stood up when she looked at him. "The feelings Sim told you about, they were mine. I kept them to myself because I didn't think you felt the same way. I know we were getting' close and all, but I didn't want to risk tellin' you how I felt. I didn't want to lose what we had." He smiled as he realized their situation. "I guess we were both in the same boat."
For a moment T'Pol had worried that her worst-case scenario had come true. That she would have to continue her relationship with Charles as friends and nothing more. But the admission that he reciprocated her feelings made her feel very---content. She suddenly had the urge to tease him, which she had gotten quite used to enjoying lately. "I'm afraid I am unfamiliar with this boat you are referring to."
Trip immediately picked up the humour in her voice. Over the years he was getting better at reading her and was quite pleased with how far he had gotten. He moved closer to her until they were only a foot apart, then he reached out and grazed her cheek with the back of his hand. "You get a kick out of doing that, don't you?"
T'Pol enjoyed the feel of his hand against her cheek. It was quite pleasant. "Perhaps." They were staring into each other's eyes, neither willing to move away. T'Pol's next words were said in a lower and softer tone as her eyes shifted downwards. "Charles, I wish you to know that I am pleased with the fact that my attraction toward you is---mutual."
Something in her voice told Trip there was more to what she had to say. He brought his hand down under her chin and lifted her gaze to meet his. "But?"
T'Pol thought that maybe her time on the human vessel had compromised her ability to hide her emotions, but realized it was more likely that it was this man who learned how to look past her Vulcan façade, and perhaps into her very soul. "Neither the Vulcan High Command nor Starfleet would be pleased if we were to pursue a romantic relationship together. I doubt even the Captain would approve if he found out his first and second officers were fraternizing with each other. There is also the issue of compatibility. A relationship between a Vulcan and human has not been---." T'Pol stopped talking when she noticed Trip smiling and trying to hold back a fit of laughter. "I fail to see what you find so amusing about this situation."
Trip saw T'Pol's annoyed expression and decided to hold back his laughter, unless of course he wanted an angry Vulcan on his hands. "Sorry T'Pol. I don't find the situation amusin'; I know how serious it is. I just couldn't help myself once you got into Vulcan-mode."
"Vulcan-mode?" T'Pol was confused.
"Well you know, getting' all logical and stuff. Puttin' into account all possible variables, like your tryin' to solve some sort of scientific problem. I guess I just hadn't seen you do it in a while and---like I said I'm sorry." But he still couldn't wipe the smile off his face.
"It would appear that you find humour in my ability to apply logic to a situation, though I do not see a reason why. I'm afraid I will never fully understand your behaviour, Charles." T'Pol noticed his smile grow wider and found it pleasant too see him happy, even if it was at her expense. It had been a long time since he had smiled like that. "It would seem that both of us find a certain level of satisfaction in 'getting a rise' out of one another."
Trip placed both her hands in his and looked down, absent-mindedly rubbing her knuckles. "Yeah, we do don't we?"
"There is still the matter of our situation."
"I know, but let's not worry about that right now. You're right about everything T'Pol, I don't doubt that. But right now let's take things slow and see how they work out. Nobody has to know about us, not now anyway. Even though I have a good feeling about you and me, we may end up realizing this isn't going to work, or one of us might decide we no longer want to continue with it. In any case, we can deal with whatever problems that might be in our way as they come."
"Remaining discreet would be wise. Although we will eventually have to deal with the repercussions of our relationship, should it work out, I find this course of action to be the most acceptable one." T'Pol took her right hand out of Trip's and laid it down on his chest. "Aside from what we have already discussed, our compatibility is an important issue. Despite how we both feel, you must understand that being Vulcan, I am unfamiliar with the complexities of human relationships. As you know, Vulcan marriages are arranged from birth, and we are not open to courting members of the opposite sex as humans are accustomed to doing."
"So does that mean Koss is the only guy you've ever dated?"
"After my arrangement to marry Koss, I had met with him and his family four times, which is acceptable in setting up an acquaintance between two partners and their families. I do not believe, however, that this constitutes a date in human terms."
Trip smiled at that. "I guess human relationships are pretty complicated in Vulcan terms."
"Indeed. Humans feel the need to display their affection for one another verbally and physically on a regular basis, and they do tend to get involved in more than one relationship. On Vulcan, a marriage solidifies the arrangement between two Vulcans permanently. Only after marriage and bonding do two Vulcans engage in reproductive acts."
"So if you didn't cancel your wedding to Koss, you'd be stuck with him for the rest of your life?" Trip found that hard to believe.
"Yes. Only in the event of death or other extenuating circumstances does a Vulcan take another mate."
"T'Pol, I gotta admit I don't know a lot about Vulcan relationships. But from what you've told me and the little I do know, does this mean you can't---well--- we can't---?" Trip was having a hard time formulating a sentence.
T'Pol understood what he was trying to say. "Mate?" Trip nodded but couldn't help the deep redness creeping up his cheeks. "I do not know. That is why I agree that we should take this slowly, since neither of us is certain of our compatibility. But I will understand if you do not wish to attempt this. As I stated, I cannot offer you the same things a human female could."
"The same goes for you T'Pol. Like you said, humans are very touchy- feely. If we get into this, you're gonna have to get used to a little more physical contact." To make his point, Trip brought his hands up to her face and cupped her cheeks. "T'Pol, I do want this to happen. Both of us are gonna have to make some sacrifices, but I'm willin' if you are, darlin'."
He was correct in his assessment, thought T'Pol. Physical and emotional intimacies, as well as his need to use terms of endearment were things T'Pol would have to get accustomed to. But she knew she wanted this relationship, and more than anything she was certain of that. "I am willing, Charles."
They were staring into each other's eyes again, and Trip decided now was definitely the time to experiment with some physical intimacy. He bent down and pressed his lips slowly against hers, and deepened the kiss after he realized how good her mouth felt against his own. When there was no reaction from her, he pulled away and removed his hands from her face. "Sorry," was the only thing that came out as he tried to hide the nervousness on his face.
T'Pol didn't understand his reaction. She was enjoying the kiss until he abruptly pulled away. "Why are you apologizing?" She took a step to close the space between them. "And why did you stop?"
Trip's expression went from that of nervousness to that of surprise. "Well---I thought I was doin' somethin' wrong. You weren't kissin' me back."
T'Pol averted her eyes. "My experience with members of the opposite sex is limited."
Trip studied her face. Was she blushing? There was a slight green tint growing on her face. He couldn't believe it! He never knew Vulcans could blush. "Well darlin', this is something humans like to call makin' out. Just follow my lead and do what I do." He put his arms around her and pulled her into another deep kiss. T'Pol studied the movement of his lips as the sensations flooded her body and started mimicking his actions. She found the effect most desirable as they continued pressing more tightly against one another until both had to pull apart to catch their breath.
"Damn T'Pol, you're a quick learner."
There was a ghost of a smile on T'Pol's lips. "I have a good teacher." She still hadn't removed her hands from his chest. "It is getting late. You need to rest, Charles. I do not wish to keep you from recovering." There was concern in her voice.
It was Trip's turn to smile. "Don't worry, if anythin' you made me feel better. But I guess I should follow the Doctor's orders and get some rest." Before she had a chance to leave, he added. "How about we make tomorrow nights movie our first official date?"
T'Pol was a bit confused. "We have gone to movie night together before. Why would tomorrow be considered a date?"
"Cause after movie night, we continue this lesson in your quarters. I still have some things to teach you, that is, if you're up for it?"
"A Vulcan never turns away from a challenge, Mr. Tucker. I accept your offer."
"It's a date then." Trip bent down to give her a kiss.
"Goodnight, Charles." T'Pol walked toward the door and glanced back at him one last time before pushing the button.
"G'night, T'Pol."
Trip got into bed once T'Pol was gone and turned off the lights. He didn't think he'd be having any trouble sleeping now that he knew things were starting to turn around for him. The Powers That Be were definitely working in his favour.
I hope everyone likes it. I don't mind continuing it as long as readers tell me that's what they want. The whole Hoshi going to Archer's quarters was just to build some suspense in where T'Pol was headed, but I could actually turn that into something. So let me know what you think!
Author: Trekaholic
Paramount owns Enterprise. And all the stuff I put down for the first chapter applies here too.
Chapter Two
Trip was still having trouble registering what was going on as T'Pol waited outside his quarters. She was the last person he had expected to see this late, but there she was, in the flesh, wanting to talk. He was shaken out of his reverie when T'Pol spoke again.
"Commander? Are you alright?" She had taken a step closer to him.
"Uh---yeah. Sorry about that. You just caught me by surprise, that's all." He stepped aside and motioned her in with his left hand. He turned to face her once she was inside. "I wasn't expectin' any company this late."
T'Pol made her way toward his desk and stopped, also turning to face him. "I apologize for disturbing you, but there is something rather important I wished to discuss with you."
Trip saw something in her eyes. Something he had seen before when she was concentrating on her work or trying to solve a complicated problem. It was determination. Although his curiosity had taken over him, he still had some things he needed to get off his chest. "T'Pol, we've barely spoken in the past week. I was pretty sure you'd been avoidin' me, but now you show up in the middle of the night with somethin' important to tell me. You have to admit this is a little strange."
T'Pol understood his discomfort. She had been avoiding him, and she knew he deserved to know the truth. "I apologize for my behaviour. I will admit that I have been avoiding any unnecessary contact with you since you recovered." There. She finally felt---relieved to confront their situation.
Trip never thought he'd get an admission like that from her. "What made you change your mind?"
"I found it unacceptable to continue in this manner. We have known each other for some time now, and from what I understand, we have formed a friendship in human terms." She noticed his body tense at her statement. "Was I incorrect in assuming this?"
Trip started shaking his head. "No, no. Not at all T'Pol. I just never thought you saw us as friends." He regained his composure and leaned back against the wall. "I think of us as friends too. Good friends."
T'Pol was glad their conversation was going smoothly. She found it difficult to broach the more complicated part of her reason for coming, but at least he still regarded her as a friend, which made it easier for her to continue. "I am grateful for our friendship. Although it is a foreign concept to me, I am beginning to understand why it is so important to humans. Aside from spending off-duty time together, friendship entails certain responsibilities upon a person. I believe that as your friend, I have failed thus far in fulfilling my responsibilities in your time of distress." Trip was about to speak but T'Pol cut him off. "In the past, you have concerned yourself with my well-being on several occasions. After the incident with Raijin, I found it comforting that you came to visit me while I was recovering in sickbay, even though I told you your presence and constant worry were only irritating. You have offered me your support as a friend when I was in need of it, and I regret not having done the same for you."
Trip didn't know what to say or do. For once, he was just frozen in place trying to process everything that was going on. She had actually been comforted by his concern for her. He would have never imagined that, but he pushed the thought aside for a moment and decided there was something more serious he had to address. She was troubled by not being able to help him, and something inside of him rejoiced in her concern for him, but also made him realize just how much this actually bothered her.
T'Pol had turned away from him at this point. This was becoming more difficult than she had anticipated. Vulcans weren't supposed to experience these types of feelings, let alone share them with other beings. She wondered what her people would think if they ever found out how far she had strayed from the teachings of Surak? What would her family think? Before she could ponder further, she felt strong hands grip her by the shoulders and turn her around. For a moment she allowed herself to enjoy the feel of his hands on her body. It had been quite some time since their last neuro- pressure session.
"T'Pol. You can't come here and tell me you've failed me as a friend, cause it's just not true. After the attack on earth, after I found out my sister died, my whole life was fallin' apart on me. I couldn't eat or sleep and all I thought about was how bad I wanted to kill every Xindi out there. If it wasn't for you and the neuro-pressure exercises, I don't know what I woulda done."
T'Pol looked up at him. "I do not deserve the credit for that Commander. It was the Doctor who asked me to help you with neuro-pressure."
"But you accepted it. You agreed to it and stuck with it even though the last thing you probably ever wanted was to be stuck with me every other night."
"That is untrue. I must admit that in the beginning I did not think you possessed the patience to engage in neuro-pressure, but I have come to value our sessions, for they are as beneficial to me as they are to you."
Trip let go of her shoulders and took a step back. "So does that mean this week has been as bad for you as it has for me?"
"If you are referring to a feeling of emptiness by the absence of my presence, then yes."
"Then why have you been avoidin' me, T'Pol?"
She knew the question would come sooner or later, but was still as unprepared as she was before coming to his quarters. "Commander." She remembered their agreement to call each other by their first names off- duty. It had occurred some time after they began neuro-pressure, and he had persisted until she finally accepted and decided she would call him Charles, much to his protest about Trip being his preference. "Charles, when the clone was created, no one anticipated he would be so much like you. It was difficult for the crew to interact with Sim because he reminded them all of you. He reminded me of you. My time with Sim was very trying, because not only did he act in a manner similar to yours, but he also recalled your memories. He even knew of our neuro-pressure sessions, recalling them as his own."
"That must've been really weird for you." Trip was starting to understand her situation, but also felt a little uneasy about knowing all this. He wasn't too crazy about having someone else walk around with his memories and feelings.
"It was rather---unsettling. But the more time we spent together working and interacting, the more I found that being in his presence was much like being in your own. I had visited you several times in sickbay, but your condition was always unchanged. I suppose there was some measure of comfort knowing you were alive in some way through him."
Trip was glad to know she had come to see him in sickbay. It was nice to know she cared enough to check up on his condition, even if he wasn't getting any better. "It means a lot to me that you came to see how I was doin'. It's nice to know I wasn't really alone the whole time." He took a deep breath and continued. "But I need to know, T'Pol. Have you been avoidin' me because it bothers you to see me here instead of Sim?"
T'Pol hadn't expected that question, but it was a logical one. "Although the Captain and I were well aware of the ethical and moral implications involved with creating Sim, I agree that his decision was the right one. You are an important member of this crew, and you must remember that Sim was like you, but not you."
Trip walked over to his bed and sat down, leaving his hands to rest on his knees. "Then what's wrong T'Pol?"
She was being evasive, but it was time to tell him the truth. "Sim had come to my quarters to discuss his plan on releasing the ship using the shuttle pods. I told him that although there were risks and a possibility of failure, I had passed it on to the Captain. I believe his mindset was after our last neuro-pressure session because he recalled working on the neural nodes in our feet. I asked him if there was something else he wished to discuss because he seemed preoccupied. He appeared to hesitate before telling me he had deep feelings for me, and that he found it difficult to stop thinking about me."
Trip's head flew up as T'Pol finished her last sentence. He couldn't believe what she just said. Sim had told her about his feelings, and now she knew. He didn't know what he could possibly say, and before he opened his mouth not knowing what would come out, she added.
"He was very troubled because he could not decide whether the feelings were his own, or yours."
So she didn't know, but she was suspicious. Trip had done such a good job of hiding his feelings and now Sim had gone and ruined it. He would have to do some major damage control. He didn't want to lose his friendship with T'Pol. "You have to understand I never intended for any of this to happen. If I knew what went on with you two, I'd understand why you'd been avoidin' me a little better."
"I very much doubt that, Charles." T'Pol knew it was time to come clean. It was now or never. "Before his operation, I decided to visit Sim one last time. I felt it would be comforting for him to know that he had made friends in his life that would miss him." She composed her thoughts and continued. "I had my own reasons for visiting him as well. I decided that if indeed the feelings were his own and not yours, this would be my one chance to find out the true nature of my own feelings." At Trip's puzzled expression, she went on. She was as nervous as any Vulcan could be, but there was no turning back.
"During our time together on Enterprise, I have become rather---fond of you. At first I suppressed these feelings because I concluded they were the result of our continuing friendship. But after we began neuro-pressure, I realized there was something more to what I felt, an attraction I could not describe even to myself. I found it difficult to understand and deal with these emotions, but I knew for certain that I enjoyed your companionship and looked forward to the time we spent together. When Sim told me of his feelings, I decided it was an opportunity to learn how I also felt. When I went to visit him that night, I experienced an emotion I have felt in your presence before. It compelled me to kiss him, because I knew this was the human way of expressing affection. I realized in that moment that I had deep feelings for you, and that even after you recovered I would find it difficult to continue giving you neuro-pressure without having some closure."
Trip felt as if his heart was ready to beat its way out of his chest, and when he tried to take some calming breaths, it only made his heart thump louder. He was happy and nervous at the same time, mostly nervous because he never thought he'd be having a conversation like this with T'Pol. But he realized she must have been as nervous as he was since she was looking at the ground waiting for him to answer. "T'Pol, I don't know what to say. I mean---well---I never thought you could feel this way about me." This was definitely not going to be easy.
"I also never thought I was capable of feeling this way. But I have come to accept it, because denying it has been a futile attempt." She still wasn't looking at him. "I hope you understand that I never wished to avoid you after your recovery, but rather to take some time and sort my emotions out. As I have previously stated, I do value our friendship a great deal. I do believe we should discontinue our sessions but I would like to continue being your friend if that is acceptable."
Trip was confused. "Why would you want to---?" He realized then he hadn't even told her he felt the same way. She probably assumed he had no interest in her beyond that of friendship. "T'Pol, I have my own confession to make." He stood up when she looked at him. "The feelings Sim told you about, they were mine. I kept them to myself because I didn't think you felt the same way. I know we were getting' close and all, but I didn't want to risk tellin' you how I felt. I didn't want to lose what we had." He smiled as he realized their situation. "I guess we were both in the same boat."
For a moment T'Pol had worried that her worst-case scenario had come true. That she would have to continue her relationship with Charles as friends and nothing more. But the admission that he reciprocated her feelings made her feel very---content. She suddenly had the urge to tease him, which she had gotten quite used to enjoying lately. "I'm afraid I am unfamiliar with this boat you are referring to."
Trip immediately picked up the humour in her voice. Over the years he was getting better at reading her and was quite pleased with how far he had gotten. He moved closer to her until they were only a foot apart, then he reached out and grazed her cheek with the back of his hand. "You get a kick out of doing that, don't you?"
T'Pol enjoyed the feel of his hand against her cheek. It was quite pleasant. "Perhaps." They were staring into each other's eyes, neither willing to move away. T'Pol's next words were said in a lower and softer tone as her eyes shifted downwards. "Charles, I wish you to know that I am pleased with the fact that my attraction toward you is---mutual."
Something in her voice told Trip there was more to what she had to say. He brought his hand down under her chin and lifted her gaze to meet his. "But?"
T'Pol thought that maybe her time on the human vessel had compromised her ability to hide her emotions, but realized it was more likely that it was this man who learned how to look past her Vulcan façade, and perhaps into her very soul. "Neither the Vulcan High Command nor Starfleet would be pleased if we were to pursue a romantic relationship together. I doubt even the Captain would approve if he found out his first and second officers were fraternizing with each other. There is also the issue of compatibility. A relationship between a Vulcan and human has not been---." T'Pol stopped talking when she noticed Trip smiling and trying to hold back a fit of laughter. "I fail to see what you find so amusing about this situation."
Trip saw T'Pol's annoyed expression and decided to hold back his laughter, unless of course he wanted an angry Vulcan on his hands. "Sorry T'Pol. I don't find the situation amusin'; I know how serious it is. I just couldn't help myself once you got into Vulcan-mode."
"Vulcan-mode?" T'Pol was confused.
"Well you know, getting' all logical and stuff. Puttin' into account all possible variables, like your tryin' to solve some sort of scientific problem. I guess I just hadn't seen you do it in a while and---like I said I'm sorry." But he still couldn't wipe the smile off his face.
"It would appear that you find humour in my ability to apply logic to a situation, though I do not see a reason why. I'm afraid I will never fully understand your behaviour, Charles." T'Pol noticed his smile grow wider and found it pleasant too see him happy, even if it was at her expense. It had been a long time since he had smiled like that. "It would seem that both of us find a certain level of satisfaction in 'getting a rise' out of one another."
Trip placed both her hands in his and looked down, absent-mindedly rubbing her knuckles. "Yeah, we do don't we?"
"There is still the matter of our situation."
"I know, but let's not worry about that right now. You're right about everything T'Pol, I don't doubt that. But right now let's take things slow and see how they work out. Nobody has to know about us, not now anyway. Even though I have a good feeling about you and me, we may end up realizing this isn't going to work, or one of us might decide we no longer want to continue with it. In any case, we can deal with whatever problems that might be in our way as they come."
"Remaining discreet would be wise. Although we will eventually have to deal with the repercussions of our relationship, should it work out, I find this course of action to be the most acceptable one." T'Pol took her right hand out of Trip's and laid it down on his chest. "Aside from what we have already discussed, our compatibility is an important issue. Despite how we both feel, you must understand that being Vulcan, I am unfamiliar with the complexities of human relationships. As you know, Vulcan marriages are arranged from birth, and we are not open to courting members of the opposite sex as humans are accustomed to doing."
"So does that mean Koss is the only guy you've ever dated?"
"After my arrangement to marry Koss, I had met with him and his family four times, which is acceptable in setting up an acquaintance between two partners and their families. I do not believe, however, that this constitutes a date in human terms."
Trip smiled at that. "I guess human relationships are pretty complicated in Vulcan terms."
"Indeed. Humans feel the need to display their affection for one another verbally and physically on a regular basis, and they do tend to get involved in more than one relationship. On Vulcan, a marriage solidifies the arrangement between two Vulcans permanently. Only after marriage and bonding do two Vulcans engage in reproductive acts."
"So if you didn't cancel your wedding to Koss, you'd be stuck with him for the rest of your life?" Trip found that hard to believe.
"Yes. Only in the event of death or other extenuating circumstances does a Vulcan take another mate."
"T'Pol, I gotta admit I don't know a lot about Vulcan relationships. But from what you've told me and the little I do know, does this mean you can't---well--- we can't---?" Trip was having a hard time formulating a sentence.
T'Pol understood what he was trying to say. "Mate?" Trip nodded but couldn't help the deep redness creeping up his cheeks. "I do not know. That is why I agree that we should take this slowly, since neither of us is certain of our compatibility. But I will understand if you do not wish to attempt this. As I stated, I cannot offer you the same things a human female could."
"The same goes for you T'Pol. Like you said, humans are very touchy- feely. If we get into this, you're gonna have to get used to a little more physical contact." To make his point, Trip brought his hands up to her face and cupped her cheeks. "T'Pol, I do want this to happen. Both of us are gonna have to make some sacrifices, but I'm willin' if you are, darlin'."
He was correct in his assessment, thought T'Pol. Physical and emotional intimacies, as well as his need to use terms of endearment were things T'Pol would have to get accustomed to. But she knew she wanted this relationship, and more than anything she was certain of that. "I am willing, Charles."
They were staring into each other's eyes again, and Trip decided now was definitely the time to experiment with some physical intimacy. He bent down and pressed his lips slowly against hers, and deepened the kiss after he realized how good her mouth felt against his own. When there was no reaction from her, he pulled away and removed his hands from her face. "Sorry," was the only thing that came out as he tried to hide the nervousness on his face.
T'Pol didn't understand his reaction. She was enjoying the kiss until he abruptly pulled away. "Why are you apologizing?" She took a step to close the space between them. "And why did you stop?"
Trip's expression went from that of nervousness to that of surprise. "Well---I thought I was doin' somethin' wrong. You weren't kissin' me back."
T'Pol averted her eyes. "My experience with members of the opposite sex is limited."
Trip studied her face. Was she blushing? There was a slight green tint growing on her face. He couldn't believe it! He never knew Vulcans could blush. "Well darlin', this is something humans like to call makin' out. Just follow my lead and do what I do." He put his arms around her and pulled her into another deep kiss. T'Pol studied the movement of his lips as the sensations flooded her body and started mimicking his actions. She found the effect most desirable as they continued pressing more tightly against one another until both had to pull apart to catch their breath.
"Damn T'Pol, you're a quick learner."
There was a ghost of a smile on T'Pol's lips. "I have a good teacher." She still hadn't removed her hands from his chest. "It is getting late. You need to rest, Charles. I do not wish to keep you from recovering." There was concern in her voice.
It was Trip's turn to smile. "Don't worry, if anythin' you made me feel better. But I guess I should follow the Doctor's orders and get some rest." Before she had a chance to leave, he added. "How about we make tomorrow nights movie our first official date?"
T'Pol was a bit confused. "We have gone to movie night together before. Why would tomorrow be considered a date?"
"Cause after movie night, we continue this lesson in your quarters. I still have some things to teach you, that is, if you're up for it?"
"A Vulcan never turns away from a challenge, Mr. Tucker. I accept your offer."
"It's a date then." Trip bent down to give her a kiss.
"Goodnight, Charles." T'Pol walked toward the door and glanced back at him one last time before pushing the button.
"G'night, T'Pol."
Trip got into bed once T'Pol was gone and turned off the lights. He didn't think he'd be having any trouble sleeping now that he knew things were starting to turn around for him. The Powers That Be were definitely working in his favour.
I hope everyone likes it. I don't mind continuing it as long as readers tell me that's what they want. The whole Hoshi going to Archer's quarters was just to build some suspense in where T'Pol was headed, but I could actually turn that into something. So let me know what you think!
