"If you're worried about Maria---" he cuts me off by opening his door. I
follow behind, heading up the stairs to the door. I don't question his
sudden decision change, and I won't, because I want this.
******
"Hey, you two," Eva glances my way. "I was wondering when you were going to get home." She grins towards me. "I started dinner. I've got enough for three, if you're staying?" Eva eyes Jack with a smile.
"Sounds good." We slip out of our coats, hanging them in the closet as I make my way to the sofa to sit down.
"So, Jack, did you tell her the news yet?" Eva glances towards me and then him.
"Not yet; thanks for bringing it up."
"Sorry," she grimaces with a smile, not at all meaning the words.
"Tell me what, Jack?" I turn towards him, taking his hand and ushering him to sit beside me.
"Maria wants a divorce."
"Oh," I feel my stomach tense and my head ache. "I'm sorry," I whisper, not sure what else to say. My heart pounds at the thought and I'm not allowing myself to consider why.
"She's tired of trying to work things out. She," he pauses with a sigh, "doesn't think I love her anymore."
"And do you?" My eyes meet his.
"I don't know. I guess I'm in love with the idea of marriage and what I used to have. It hasn't been that way in ages, though," he tells me with a sigh, leaning back into the sofa.
"Maybe you'll work things out."
"No," Jack shakes his head. "I tried to talk to her, but it was no use. Funny thing is, it was the longest conversation we've had in probably six months. For a while she wasn't even talking to me; imagine living that way."
"Must have been awful," Eva interjects, glancing back towards us.
"I've had worse," Jack's eyes meet mine and I feel my stomach knot. What's he referring to? "I'll be back," he tells me, standing up and heading for the bathroom.
"Where were you two?" Eva runs over to take a seat beside me on the sofa.
"We got into a heated argument."
"Oh, so foreplay?" She grins as I shake my head no with a laugh. "Too bad." She stands up, heading for the stove to continue cooking.
Jack makes his way towards me, sitting down beside me. His arm manages to rest against the back of the sofa, his hand coming up to my neck, softly fingering my hair.
"Did you manage to get any clothes today?" I eye him seriously. "You can't wear that into work a third day in a row."
"Yeah, I've got a bag of clean clothes in the trunk. I should probably go apartment hunting this weekend," he lets out a soft breath. "I never thought I'd say those words again."
"It's not all bad."
"I'll be divorced in a few short months." He eyes me skeptically. "How is that not bad?"
I shrug quietly, not telling him that it doesn't have to be bad; it's only bad if he makes it that way. I stand up, offering to help as we finish getting dinner ready.
We all take a seat at the kitchen table, starting in on eating.
"I know you were against me staying with her," Eva tells Jack, "but I'm glad you've come around."
"Yeah, well it would have been nice if you hadn't lied to us."
"I'm truly sorry." Her head falls with sad fearful eyes.
"It's okay," I answer, "just don't ever do it again."
She nods her head, her voice failing her as we finish our dinner and head to the sofa to watch a movie before bed.
Jack takes a seat beside me, and Eva sits on the recliner. Immediately it reminds me of the night Martin was over, but this feels so right.
Jack makes no move towards me, his body sitting on the couch as the movie starts in. I work on making some popcorn and offer Jack a piece. I toss it towards his mouth playfully, but it lands on his neck.
"Sam," his smile is warm and his laugh is soft as he grabs for the bowl so he can manage to actually eat some.
"Oh come on," I insist, grabbing another piece and tossing it towards his mouth. He catches it in his hand instead. "You're no fun," I sulk, handing him the bowl of popcorn.
"I'm no fun?" he repeats aloud, his eyes staring into mine with an evil smirk.
"That's right."
"I just prefer to play with grownup food," he answers.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I eye him curiously as he heads into the kitchen and opens the fridge. "Jack?" I question.
"Close your eyes."
"Oh no," I shake my head.
"You trust me, don't you?"
"Fine," I let out a soft breath, and close my eyes.
"Keep them closed." I hear his words and then his footsteps towards me. "Open your mouth."
"Jack," as his name escapes my mouth, a strawberry dances along my lips. "Mmm," I whisper aloud, licking the fruit and opening my eyes as I bite down, watching his gaze. The juice trickles down my chin and Jack's mouth moves in, cleaning up the mess. His lips never touch mine, but they don't have to. I chew the small piece of fruit, as I intentionally dribble more of the juices down my chin for him to lick up.
"Samantha, you are so messy!" Eva glances towards me. "And, Jack, you're just plain dirty." She shakes her head with a laugh, "I'm heading to bed."
"You don't have to," I answer her, watching as she stands up.
"How can I not? Would you two kiss already?" She groans out, heading for her bedroom.
I glance back to see Jack's eyes dark with a smile. "What?" I quip, feeling his mouth hovering above mine. "Jack," my eyes look into his. "You're still married. I don't want there to be any regrets."
"I never." I cut him off with a soft kiss to his lips, quieting him.
"Or guilt." My eyes meet his, as I take his hands in mine and lead him with me into the bedroom.
"Sam," his voice is honey on my ears. I feel my insides burning to be touched as his lips descend on mine and he pushes me into my room with kisses. The back of my legs hit the mattress, as I fall back onto it.
"You're so good at that," I whisper, feeling his lips on my neck, sucking that incredible spot. "Right there," I bite down on my lower lip, groaning out as he continues to kiss his way down my body.
He moves above my skin, his fingers working on the buttons of my blouse. "I didn't come over here for this," he whispers into my ear.
My mouth meets his, not letting him stop, even if he wanted to. My hands rake through his hair, and down his back, working on his shirt next.
I feel a vibrating sensation from Jack's pants leg, and I glance into his eyes, trying to hold my disappointment. He rolls off my frame, slipping the phone out, "Malone," he answers, moving onto his back. He closes his eyes, with his hand resting on his forehead. "Uh huh," he breathes out, as I lean against him, running my hand softly against his chest. "I'm at the office," he tells the caller. "I don't know." He pauses, listening to the voice on the other end of the phone. "Well that's just great." He sits up, giving me a sad look. "Bye." He hangs up the phone.
"Maria?" I question.
He nods his head, his eyes shut, as he sits on the edge of my bed.
"What'd she say?" I move my hand to his back, softly running my palm against his flesh.
"She doesn't want to give up just yet on us. She thinks it would be a mistake, especially for the girls."
Jack's eyes meet mine as I let out a soft breath, trying as best I can, to hide my disappointment. I bite down on my lower lip, knowing what I must do. I button my shirt and place my hand over his. "Go home," I tell him softly, feeling my stomach knot at the awful words escaping my lips.
"Sam."
"I can't do this anyways," I whisper, shrugging my shoulders.
"Do what?" His eyes hold concern.
"Be the girl you have an affair with. It's not what I want any more," I tell him. "Your girls need you, Jack." I slip out of bed, opening the bedroom door. "I'll see you tomorrow," I tell him soundly.
"Sam," my name on his lips, comes out in a soft whisper.
"Please, don't make this any harder than it has to be," I answer, covering my eyes to keep myself from crying.
I feel his hand on my wrist, lowering my arm. "Maybe I want to be with you."
"Jack," I shake my head no, "we can't."
"We?" His eyes look deep into mine. "I think we're talking about you." He pulls me towards my bed to sit down.
"Jack, you're married."
"It's not going to last."
"You should try," I answer him. "Otherwise you'll hate yourself and blame." I trail off.
"You think I'll blame you?" His finger moves to under my chin to meet his gaze. I nod softly, wiping my eyes. "I would never," he shakes his head. "Samantha, of all the people I've known, you're the last person I'd blame anything on."
"Jack," I let out a soft sigh, closing my eyes under his touch. His fingers dance along my eyes, drying them, and moving softly down my cheeks. "I do love you, but I can't do this---pretending to have something I don't."
"You have me."
"No," I shake my head, "I don't." I slip from his grasp and stand up, staring at the ceiling to keep my emotions at bay. "Please go," I whisper.
"Samantha."
"Please," I beg him, not wanting him to see me upset.
"What if I asked for a divorce?"
"Jack, don't." I warn him. "This isn't what you want."
"How do you know that?"
"You want your daughters living with you as a family," I remind him. "It's what you've always wanted. That's why you ended things with us in the first place," I let out a soft sigh, finally meeting his gaze. "We can't have that." I glance into his eyes. "You know I'll always love you, Jack. You need to go home, though. Work things out, at least try to," I tell him.
He stands up, leaning down to give me one final kiss before fixing his clothes and heading out my front door. I collapse onto my bed, feeling vulnerable and all alone. Today was one of the most emotional days I've had with Jack, and now, I don't know what to do.
I guess I can't really do anything. If Maria wants to try again, and Jack's willing, it's not my place to interfere. Do I go back to Martin, and try again? Do I forgive and forget? Can I, after the awful words he said?
I don't want to be alone tonight. I guess I'm not really alone---Eva is right next door. It's not the same though, as being in a man's arms, especially his.
I really thought things were going to change between Jack and myself. I thought Maria had finally decided she had enough and that it was over. I guess that will never really happen, which is probably for the best.
I head into the bathroom, running myself a bath. I grab a few candles, lighting them before turning off the light and slipping in the tub.
I close my eyes, relaxing in the tub and trying to forget the recent worries and woes in my life.
A few minutes pass by, and I hear a soft rap on the door.
******
"Hey, you two," Eva glances my way. "I was wondering when you were going to get home." She grins towards me. "I started dinner. I've got enough for three, if you're staying?" Eva eyes Jack with a smile.
"Sounds good." We slip out of our coats, hanging them in the closet as I make my way to the sofa to sit down.
"So, Jack, did you tell her the news yet?" Eva glances towards me and then him.
"Not yet; thanks for bringing it up."
"Sorry," she grimaces with a smile, not at all meaning the words.
"Tell me what, Jack?" I turn towards him, taking his hand and ushering him to sit beside me.
"Maria wants a divorce."
"Oh," I feel my stomach tense and my head ache. "I'm sorry," I whisper, not sure what else to say. My heart pounds at the thought and I'm not allowing myself to consider why.
"She's tired of trying to work things out. She," he pauses with a sigh, "doesn't think I love her anymore."
"And do you?" My eyes meet his.
"I don't know. I guess I'm in love with the idea of marriage and what I used to have. It hasn't been that way in ages, though," he tells me with a sigh, leaning back into the sofa.
"Maybe you'll work things out."
"No," Jack shakes his head. "I tried to talk to her, but it was no use. Funny thing is, it was the longest conversation we've had in probably six months. For a while she wasn't even talking to me; imagine living that way."
"Must have been awful," Eva interjects, glancing back towards us.
"I've had worse," Jack's eyes meet mine and I feel my stomach knot. What's he referring to? "I'll be back," he tells me, standing up and heading for the bathroom.
"Where were you two?" Eva runs over to take a seat beside me on the sofa.
"We got into a heated argument."
"Oh, so foreplay?" She grins as I shake my head no with a laugh. "Too bad." She stands up, heading for the stove to continue cooking.
Jack makes his way towards me, sitting down beside me. His arm manages to rest against the back of the sofa, his hand coming up to my neck, softly fingering my hair.
"Did you manage to get any clothes today?" I eye him seriously. "You can't wear that into work a third day in a row."
"Yeah, I've got a bag of clean clothes in the trunk. I should probably go apartment hunting this weekend," he lets out a soft breath. "I never thought I'd say those words again."
"It's not all bad."
"I'll be divorced in a few short months." He eyes me skeptically. "How is that not bad?"
I shrug quietly, not telling him that it doesn't have to be bad; it's only bad if he makes it that way. I stand up, offering to help as we finish getting dinner ready.
We all take a seat at the kitchen table, starting in on eating.
"I know you were against me staying with her," Eva tells Jack, "but I'm glad you've come around."
"Yeah, well it would have been nice if you hadn't lied to us."
"I'm truly sorry." Her head falls with sad fearful eyes.
"It's okay," I answer, "just don't ever do it again."
She nods her head, her voice failing her as we finish our dinner and head to the sofa to watch a movie before bed.
Jack takes a seat beside me, and Eva sits on the recliner. Immediately it reminds me of the night Martin was over, but this feels so right.
Jack makes no move towards me, his body sitting on the couch as the movie starts in. I work on making some popcorn and offer Jack a piece. I toss it towards his mouth playfully, but it lands on his neck.
"Sam," his smile is warm and his laugh is soft as he grabs for the bowl so he can manage to actually eat some.
"Oh come on," I insist, grabbing another piece and tossing it towards his mouth. He catches it in his hand instead. "You're no fun," I sulk, handing him the bowl of popcorn.
"I'm no fun?" he repeats aloud, his eyes staring into mine with an evil smirk.
"That's right."
"I just prefer to play with grownup food," he answers.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I eye him curiously as he heads into the kitchen and opens the fridge. "Jack?" I question.
"Close your eyes."
"Oh no," I shake my head.
"You trust me, don't you?"
"Fine," I let out a soft breath, and close my eyes.
"Keep them closed." I hear his words and then his footsteps towards me. "Open your mouth."
"Jack," as his name escapes my mouth, a strawberry dances along my lips. "Mmm," I whisper aloud, licking the fruit and opening my eyes as I bite down, watching his gaze. The juice trickles down my chin and Jack's mouth moves in, cleaning up the mess. His lips never touch mine, but they don't have to. I chew the small piece of fruit, as I intentionally dribble more of the juices down my chin for him to lick up.
"Samantha, you are so messy!" Eva glances towards me. "And, Jack, you're just plain dirty." She shakes her head with a laugh, "I'm heading to bed."
"You don't have to," I answer her, watching as she stands up.
"How can I not? Would you two kiss already?" She groans out, heading for her bedroom.
I glance back to see Jack's eyes dark with a smile. "What?" I quip, feeling his mouth hovering above mine. "Jack," my eyes look into his. "You're still married. I don't want there to be any regrets."
"I never." I cut him off with a soft kiss to his lips, quieting him.
"Or guilt." My eyes meet his, as I take his hands in mine and lead him with me into the bedroom.
"Sam," his voice is honey on my ears. I feel my insides burning to be touched as his lips descend on mine and he pushes me into my room with kisses. The back of my legs hit the mattress, as I fall back onto it.
"You're so good at that," I whisper, feeling his lips on my neck, sucking that incredible spot. "Right there," I bite down on my lower lip, groaning out as he continues to kiss his way down my body.
He moves above my skin, his fingers working on the buttons of my blouse. "I didn't come over here for this," he whispers into my ear.
My mouth meets his, not letting him stop, even if he wanted to. My hands rake through his hair, and down his back, working on his shirt next.
I feel a vibrating sensation from Jack's pants leg, and I glance into his eyes, trying to hold my disappointment. He rolls off my frame, slipping the phone out, "Malone," he answers, moving onto his back. He closes his eyes, with his hand resting on his forehead. "Uh huh," he breathes out, as I lean against him, running my hand softly against his chest. "I'm at the office," he tells the caller. "I don't know." He pauses, listening to the voice on the other end of the phone. "Well that's just great." He sits up, giving me a sad look. "Bye." He hangs up the phone.
"Maria?" I question.
He nods his head, his eyes shut, as he sits on the edge of my bed.
"What'd she say?" I move my hand to his back, softly running my palm against his flesh.
"She doesn't want to give up just yet on us. She thinks it would be a mistake, especially for the girls."
Jack's eyes meet mine as I let out a soft breath, trying as best I can, to hide my disappointment. I bite down on my lower lip, knowing what I must do. I button my shirt and place my hand over his. "Go home," I tell him softly, feeling my stomach knot at the awful words escaping my lips.
"Sam."
"I can't do this anyways," I whisper, shrugging my shoulders.
"Do what?" His eyes hold concern.
"Be the girl you have an affair with. It's not what I want any more," I tell him. "Your girls need you, Jack." I slip out of bed, opening the bedroom door. "I'll see you tomorrow," I tell him soundly.
"Sam," my name on his lips, comes out in a soft whisper.
"Please, don't make this any harder than it has to be," I answer, covering my eyes to keep myself from crying.
I feel his hand on my wrist, lowering my arm. "Maybe I want to be with you."
"Jack," I shake my head no, "we can't."
"We?" His eyes look deep into mine. "I think we're talking about you." He pulls me towards my bed to sit down.
"Jack, you're married."
"It's not going to last."
"You should try," I answer him. "Otherwise you'll hate yourself and blame." I trail off.
"You think I'll blame you?" His finger moves to under my chin to meet his gaze. I nod softly, wiping my eyes. "I would never," he shakes his head. "Samantha, of all the people I've known, you're the last person I'd blame anything on."
"Jack," I let out a soft sigh, closing my eyes under his touch. His fingers dance along my eyes, drying them, and moving softly down my cheeks. "I do love you, but I can't do this---pretending to have something I don't."
"You have me."
"No," I shake my head, "I don't." I slip from his grasp and stand up, staring at the ceiling to keep my emotions at bay. "Please go," I whisper.
"Samantha."
"Please," I beg him, not wanting him to see me upset.
"What if I asked for a divorce?"
"Jack, don't." I warn him. "This isn't what you want."
"How do you know that?"
"You want your daughters living with you as a family," I remind him. "It's what you've always wanted. That's why you ended things with us in the first place," I let out a soft sigh, finally meeting his gaze. "We can't have that." I glance into his eyes. "You know I'll always love you, Jack. You need to go home, though. Work things out, at least try to," I tell him.
He stands up, leaning down to give me one final kiss before fixing his clothes and heading out my front door. I collapse onto my bed, feeling vulnerable and all alone. Today was one of the most emotional days I've had with Jack, and now, I don't know what to do.
I guess I can't really do anything. If Maria wants to try again, and Jack's willing, it's not my place to interfere. Do I go back to Martin, and try again? Do I forgive and forget? Can I, after the awful words he said?
I don't want to be alone tonight. I guess I'm not really alone---Eva is right next door. It's not the same though, as being in a man's arms, especially his.
I really thought things were going to change between Jack and myself. I thought Maria had finally decided she had enough and that it was over. I guess that will never really happen, which is probably for the best.
I head into the bathroom, running myself a bath. I grab a few candles, lighting them before turning off the light and slipping in the tub.
I close my eyes, relaxing in the tub and trying to forget the recent worries and woes in my life.
A few minutes pass by, and I hear a soft rap on the door.
