"Jack," I glance into his eyes and bite down on my lower lip, "I want to
talk to you about something, but I don't want you to get upset."
"All right," he answers, rolling onto his back as I roll onto my stomach and rest on my elbows to glance down at him.
******
"You were so adamant about me seeing someone after being shot," I pause, letting out a breath, "but you never talked to anyone about what happened when you were in there."
"Samantha." His eyes glance into mine.
"Jack, I have to know because whatever was said, you changed from that day on."
"I know," he nods his head with a sigh. "I went home to Maria that morning, but not before stopping by the hospital."
"You stopped by?"
"Yeah," Jack nods his head, running his hand through his hair. "You were still in surgery, and I waited for the news that you were out and all right before I went home."
"I thought you might have showed up and I just didn't know about it."
"I left you a vase of flowers and signed the card with a heart."
"So that was from you."
"Who else did you think it was from?"
"I wasn't sure. Martin made me think it was from him."
"Figures," Jack laughs and shakes his head.
"So, what happened in the bookstore?"
"Samantha."
"Please tell me," I whisper. "I told you about my father leaving me. It couldn't be much worse than that," I point out.
"I had a gun to my head." He eyes me seriously.
"And I had a bullet lodged in my leg. What's your point?" I let out a soft breath. "I don't doubt you were scared for you life; I know I was."
"It's not that." Jack shakes his head and stares up at the ceiling.
"Then tell me," I press on.
"He reminded me so much of my father." Jack shakes his head. "Barry knew about us. I guess when I traded my life for yours--" I silence him with a soft kiss before he continues. "He thought I was selfish for destroying my family and all along I kept seeing my father's face. I confronted Barry about his attempted suicide and I couldn't back down. I told Barry everything that I've ever wanted to say to my father--about how he's good at feeling sorry for himself."
"Jack."
"I couldn't drop it, though. He kept telling me to shut up, and it only reminded me more of my father." My hand trails along his chest as I press a kiss to his shoulder. "I reminded him that she isn't coming back and, in that moment, I saw my mother's face and my father's eyes of anger and hatred."
"Your father doesn't hate you." I run my hand down the blankets to find his fingers. I intertwine them as his eyes meet mine.
"He does," Jack nods and closes his eyes. "I don't blame him, though."
"How can he hate you? It was never your fault."
"I never told him that it wasn't his fault, though," Jack answers with a sigh. "I never talked much to my father after my mother died. We drifted apart, but he was so much like Barry; he was so good at feeling sorry for himself."
"That's not your fault." I glance into Jack's eyes. "It was never your responsibility to look after your father."
"If I would have, he wouldn't be an alcoholic." Jack's eyes meet mine with a sigh as he rolls onto his side and his hand slides along my hips.
"You don't know that." I move my hand along his chest softly. "You can't worry about him; you have your own family now," I remind Jack. I let out a soft sigh, remembering that as much as I love him, I'm not really a part of his family or anyone else's.
I glance around the room and then at the clock. I slip out of bed.
"Where are you going?"
"Shower. Care to join me?" I glance back towards him.
"I don't think I can even manage to walk right now," he answers.
"Oh, come on," I roll my eyes. "I should be the one complaining," I retort. "So, are you going to join me?"
"Will you be mad if I lie here for a little while longer?"
"No, go ahead and rest." I open the bathroom door, "you're just going to miss one hell of a show," I quip and close the door before running the shower.
I step beneath the warm spray, enjoying the solitude. "Sam?" I hear Jack's voice.
"You decided to join me?" I pull back the curtain to see him with my cell phone in his hands. "Oh. Take a message."
"I tried, but Eva wouldn't listen."
"Tell her I'm in the shower and--"
"Eva," Jack pauses, "yeah, you heard Sam? All right she'll call you later." Jack turns off the phone and heads out of the bathroom.
"You're not going to join me?"
"Oh, I am," Jack answers, as he slips back in through the door and pulls back the curtain to join me. "I had to put your phone on the bed," he points out. Jack's eyes watch mine.
"What?" I question with a smile.
"I have this sneaking suspicion that Eva knows about us."
"Oh." I can't hide my laugh as I turn my back to grab the soap. I feel Jack's hands around my hips as he pulls me against him.
"Did you tell her?" His breath is on my neck, as I turn my head back slightly to see his expression.
"I might have told her some of what was going on. She doesn't know we slept together recently, although she is voting on Maria leaving you, and then you and me hooking up."
"Sounds like a really bad reality show." I shake my head with a laugh and run my soapy hands along his chest. "You have to promise me you won't tell Eva about us."
"I can't lie to her. She's going to know."
"Not if you don't tell her."
"Oh, come on! You don't think you spending the night will give it away?" He bites down on his lower lip. "Tell me you're not having second thoughts."
"It's not that." He presses a soft kiss to my lips before I run my hands through Jack's scalp to rinse his hair. "I'm just concerned. We haven't told Martin yet about us. He's bound to find out, but it needs to be from you."
"I know." I let out a soft sigh. "That still doesn't explain why I can't tell Eva. Besides, you already told your girls."
He nods his head with a sigh. "We'll tell her, when the time is right."
"Jack--" I plead with him.
"Do you trust me?"
"Of course I do."
"Then trust me when I tell you, I'll be staying overnight--if you still want me?"
"Why wouldn't I?" I wrap my arms around his frame, as we finish up in the shower and turn the water off. I grab a towel, pulling it over my body.
"Good."
"And you don't expect Eva to know what's going on?"
"We're going to pretend like nothing's happening," Jack tells me.
"I hate that game." I eye him seriously. "I want to at least be able to confide in one other person about us."
"You will, when the time is right. Eva will figure things out for herself. In the meantime, we're going to your mother's, right?"
"Yeah," I nod my head and step out from the bathroom to grab a fresh change of clothes.
After I finish pulling my clothes on, I take a seat on the edge of the bed and Jack's eyes meet mine.
"What are we going to do about Martin? He's still in love with you." His words are simple and yet I know there's only one answer he's looking for.
"I don't know," I whisper with a soft breath. "I guess I'll have to break his heart. I just want to let him down gently. I'll take him to dinner and--"
"Sam, you're trailing him along."
"I can't tell him over the phone; it's not right."
"I trust you." His eyes bore into mine and I feel my stomach tense.
"You can come if you want, Jack."
"No, you should tell him."
"I will when we get back. We should head out." I grab my bag and Jack takes his to the car. "We can take my car," I offer, dropping my bag into the trunk and letting Jack do the same with his.
"Sounds good," he nods and we slip into my car and make my way to my mother's home.
"All right," he answers, rolling onto his back as I roll onto my stomach and rest on my elbows to glance down at him.
******
"You were so adamant about me seeing someone after being shot," I pause, letting out a breath, "but you never talked to anyone about what happened when you were in there."
"Samantha." His eyes glance into mine.
"Jack, I have to know because whatever was said, you changed from that day on."
"I know," he nods his head with a sigh. "I went home to Maria that morning, but not before stopping by the hospital."
"You stopped by?"
"Yeah," Jack nods his head, running his hand through his hair. "You were still in surgery, and I waited for the news that you were out and all right before I went home."
"I thought you might have showed up and I just didn't know about it."
"I left you a vase of flowers and signed the card with a heart."
"So that was from you."
"Who else did you think it was from?"
"I wasn't sure. Martin made me think it was from him."
"Figures," Jack laughs and shakes his head.
"So, what happened in the bookstore?"
"Samantha."
"Please tell me," I whisper. "I told you about my father leaving me. It couldn't be much worse than that," I point out.
"I had a gun to my head." He eyes me seriously.
"And I had a bullet lodged in my leg. What's your point?" I let out a soft breath. "I don't doubt you were scared for you life; I know I was."
"It's not that." Jack shakes his head and stares up at the ceiling.
"Then tell me," I press on.
"He reminded me so much of my father." Jack shakes his head. "Barry knew about us. I guess when I traded my life for yours--" I silence him with a soft kiss before he continues. "He thought I was selfish for destroying my family and all along I kept seeing my father's face. I confronted Barry about his attempted suicide and I couldn't back down. I told Barry everything that I've ever wanted to say to my father--about how he's good at feeling sorry for himself."
"Jack."
"I couldn't drop it, though. He kept telling me to shut up, and it only reminded me more of my father." My hand trails along his chest as I press a kiss to his shoulder. "I reminded him that she isn't coming back and, in that moment, I saw my mother's face and my father's eyes of anger and hatred."
"Your father doesn't hate you." I run my hand down the blankets to find his fingers. I intertwine them as his eyes meet mine.
"He does," Jack nods and closes his eyes. "I don't blame him, though."
"How can he hate you? It was never your fault."
"I never told him that it wasn't his fault, though," Jack answers with a sigh. "I never talked much to my father after my mother died. We drifted apart, but he was so much like Barry; he was so good at feeling sorry for himself."
"That's not your fault." I glance into Jack's eyes. "It was never your responsibility to look after your father."
"If I would have, he wouldn't be an alcoholic." Jack's eyes meet mine with a sigh as he rolls onto his side and his hand slides along my hips.
"You don't know that." I move my hand along his chest softly. "You can't worry about him; you have your own family now," I remind Jack. I let out a soft sigh, remembering that as much as I love him, I'm not really a part of his family or anyone else's.
I glance around the room and then at the clock. I slip out of bed.
"Where are you going?"
"Shower. Care to join me?" I glance back towards him.
"I don't think I can even manage to walk right now," he answers.
"Oh, come on," I roll my eyes. "I should be the one complaining," I retort. "So, are you going to join me?"
"Will you be mad if I lie here for a little while longer?"
"No, go ahead and rest." I open the bathroom door, "you're just going to miss one hell of a show," I quip and close the door before running the shower.
I step beneath the warm spray, enjoying the solitude. "Sam?" I hear Jack's voice.
"You decided to join me?" I pull back the curtain to see him with my cell phone in his hands. "Oh. Take a message."
"I tried, but Eva wouldn't listen."
"Tell her I'm in the shower and--"
"Eva," Jack pauses, "yeah, you heard Sam? All right she'll call you later." Jack turns off the phone and heads out of the bathroom.
"You're not going to join me?"
"Oh, I am," Jack answers, as he slips back in through the door and pulls back the curtain to join me. "I had to put your phone on the bed," he points out. Jack's eyes watch mine.
"What?" I question with a smile.
"I have this sneaking suspicion that Eva knows about us."
"Oh." I can't hide my laugh as I turn my back to grab the soap. I feel Jack's hands around my hips as he pulls me against him.
"Did you tell her?" His breath is on my neck, as I turn my head back slightly to see his expression.
"I might have told her some of what was going on. She doesn't know we slept together recently, although she is voting on Maria leaving you, and then you and me hooking up."
"Sounds like a really bad reality show." I shake my head with a laugh and run my soapy hands along his chest. "You have to promise me you won't tell Eva about us."
"I can't lie to her. She's going to know."
"Not if you don't tell her."
"Oh, come on! You don't think you spending the night will give it away?" He bites down on his lower lip. "Tell me you're not having second thoughts."
"It's not that." He presses a soft kiss to my lips before I run my hands through Jack's scalp to rinse his hair. "I'm just concerned. We haven't told Martin yet about us. He's bound to find out, but it needs to be from you."
"I know." I let out a soft sigh. "That still doesn't explain why I can't tell Eva. Besides, you already told your girls."
He nods his head with a sigh. "We'll tell her, when the time is right."
"Jack--" I plead with him.
"Do you trust me?"
"Of course I do."
"Then trust me when I tell you, I'll be staying overnight--if you still want me?"
"Why wouldn't I?" I wrap my arms around his frame, as we finish up in the shower and turn the water off. I grab a towel, pulling it over my body.
"Good."
"And you don't expect Eva to know what's going on?"
"We're going to pretend like nothing's happening," Jack tells me.
"I hate that game." I eye him seriously. "I want to at least be able to confide in one other person about us."
"You will, when the time is right. Eva will figure things out for herself. In the meantime, we're going to your mother's, right?"
"Yeah," I nod my head and step out from the bathroom to grab a fresh change of clothes.
After I finish pulling my clothes on, I take a seat on the edge of the bed and Jack's eyes meet mine.
"What are we going to do about Martin? He's still in love with you." His words are simple and yet I know there's only one answer he's looking for.
"I don't know," I whisper with a soft breath. "I guess I'll have to break his heart. I just want to let him down gently. I'll take him to dinner and--"
"Sam, you're trailing him along."
"I can't tell him over the phone; it's not right."
"I trust you." His eyes bore into mine and I feel my stomach tense.
"You can come if you want, Jack."
"No, you should tell him."
"I will when we get back. We should head out." I grab my bag and Jack takes his to the car. "We can take my car," I offer, dropping my bag into the trunk and letting Jack do the same with his.
"Sounds good," he nods and we slip into my car and make my way to my mother's home.
