It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing
Chapter 5 – Dead Silence
At the end of my song, the crowd clapped, and cheered. Nothing could make anyone feel this happy. As I looked amongst the building I saw a too-familiar face: The face of the person who betrayed me. The face of the person who left me heartbroken, the face of John Carter, #1 traitor of 2003.
My heart sped up as I finished up on stage. I said my final goodbyes and thank you's, and my bodyguard led me down the stairs, and off the stage. Many people came up to me, but surprisingly, a lot didn't. I guess they were giving me my space, and respecting my decision. Susan and Chen came up to me and led me to the girl's bathroom, which of course, was locked on the inside so no one could break in.
"Wow…must have taken a lot to do that…" Susan said just above a whisper.
"Yeah…it did," I said. Chen was surprisingly quiet. "Chen…are you ok?"
"I saw him, Abby…I saw John. He's here. Right now."
"I know. I saw him too," I sighed with a frown. Dead silence surrounded us, and as if on cue, we heard a knock on the door.
Susan looked around at us, and pointed to the door. We both nodded. She went over to it and asked who it was…
"It's Carter! I saw you guys go in there. I need to speak with Abby!"
Too quickly, Susan shouted, "Well she doesn't want to talk to you!"
Sounding hurt, John whined, "But I really need to! It's important."
Reluctantly, I nodded. "Let him in."
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I was so frustrated. I was just going to walk away. Walk away from her just like I did two years ago. But the sound of the lock turning made me stop. As I turned around, I saw Susan's worried, and frustrated expression as she led me in. Slowly, her and Chen made their way out of the door, and locked it behind them. Later, if they will let me talk to them, I should thank them for giving us some privacy.
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Once again, dead silence filled the room just like before. My mind was racing faster than a speeding bullet. Questions remained unanswered in my head. Why is he back now? Does he still love me? Did I love him in the first place? Am I still mad at him? Is he mad at me? Should I stay mad at him for the rest of my life or should we start over? Does he want to? What does he want from me? Almost like he was reading my mind, he spoke up.
"Listen, Abby…"
"No. I don't wanna hear it!" And with that, I ran out of the bathroom, tears streaming down my face. It's like my world was a giant blur. I couldn't see anything. My eyes were burning, and they got wetter by the second. Making my way forward, not knowing where I was going, I could hear a faint voice behind me, calling out to me. He was following me, crying out my name. I could tell by the sorrowful sound in his voice that he was hurt by what I had done, and I didn't even know why I did it. Out of anger? Out of sorrow? I don't know. But something told me I had done the complete opposite of the right thing.
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Racing through the crowd I could see her. She was running away from me like a madman. Could you blame her? No. No, you couldn't. But I need to explain. Even if she doesn't listen. I need to explain myself, tell her that I'm sorry, and tell her that I love her.
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Finally. It's like I had been holding my breath until this very moment. I was out of that building and breathing in fresh air. Unfortunately, he was not far behind.
"Abby! Abbby!" he called out.
"WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME!?" I screamed at the top of my lungs.
"I'm sorry. Just, please, hear me out. You don't ever have to talk to me again, ever, as long as you hear me out."
"Fine. Only so I don't have to ever see you again!"
"Listen," he said, putting his hands on my shoulders. Surprisingly, I didn't tell him not to. "Leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I don't even think I remember why I did it. I guess I was so scared to face life, and to face reality, that I threw away the only possible good thing in my life. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are worth more than life itself, and I will never, EVER forgive myself if I lose you.
"While I was in Africa, a lot of things happened. There were times where I was so close to death I could literally feel death taking me. The only thing that was running through my mind during those moments were you, and if I was ever going to see you again. Abby, I love you. I love you more than anything. I am so sorry I ever hurt you, and I regret every fight we had. If I could turn back time I would, trust me. I love you! So, so much." At this point there were tears forming in his eyes.
"And Abby, if you don't ever want to see, or talk to me again, I understand. I hurt you in every way possible, and that was unfair. I understand, really, I do." He sighed, lowered his head, and walked away. I could hear him sobbing as he was walking, and I did the unthinkable. With tears streaming down my face as well, I ran up to him, threw myself in his arms (when he turned around,) and kissed him like I've never kissed any man before.
