He stood on top of the roof and wondered why the hell he was here. He
hadn't even come up here really when he had been boss at CSI, and he sure
hadn't after he got switched back to homicide. He wasn't much of the
introspective type. He didn't like standing up here.
And yet he was anyway. He didn't know why. Maybe to just take a breather from life. To stand above and look down upon it, removed. He didn't feel removed from life most of the time. He usually felt right smack in the middle. He supposed it was good to get away every now and then. Stand back and think. Try to get a handle on all of it.
Life hadn't been the easiest lately. He hadn't heard from his daughter, Ellie, in almost two years now. He had no idea where she was or how she was doing, if she had gotten out of all the shit she had been into, or if she was already dead, lying unnoticed in a gutter somewhere in Sin City. Then, just a short time ago, Detective Lockwood, one of their own, had been shot and killed in a bank robbery. He had liked Lockwood. He was a good worker, good man. He felt horrible for the man's poor family. He couldn't imagine getting that call about Ellie.
No, that wasn't true. He had imagined in several times. He had awoken in the middle of the night to the phone ringing, and with each ring he grew more and more sure that Ellie was dead somewhere, murdered or OD-ed or something, and one of his cops was calling him to tell him that he needed to go to the morgue and ID her. He had seen Ellie dead in his mind far too many times. He never wanted to hear that call.
But death was all around these days, and he supposed that's just what happened when you choose your career as a cop. Ellie missing, Lockwood dead, the lab blown up, young Greg Sanders almost blown up right along with it. A little more than a year ago, Nick Stokes thrown out of a window, being stalked by some maniac. Three years ago, Holly Gribbs dead, perp returned at the scene. Death was everywhere.
But hey, this was Sin City, right? Death was just another form of entertainment.
Yeah, right.
He couldn't remember if things had always been this way. He had been a cop for too long; he had seen a lot of things and after awhile, the horror just sort of fades away. He didn't feel like he had grown jaded as much as the world had just grown darker. It was a stupid concept. Things had always been shit, especially in this city.
But that's why he was a cop. He got to put the bad guys in jail. He got to keep death from happening everywhere. He got to help the good guys live. And he didn't always succeed, sure. But most times, he did. And just that was worth fighting for.
He wondered again what the hell he was doing up here on the roof? Sure, it was nice to take a break now and then. But he didn't need one now; he just wasn't that introspective of a guy. And that was fine. Sure, it might be nice to be as intelligent and deep as Gil, but his life was all right with him. He had bad guys to catch and he was satisfied with that.
He still wished Ellie would come home, though.
Life would never be sweet if parts of it didn't taste like shit.
And yet he was anyway. He didn't know why. Maybe to just take a breather from life. To stand above and look down upon it, removed. He didn't feel removed from life most of the time. He usually felt right smack in the middle. He supposed it was good to get away every now and then. Stand back and think. Try to get a handle on all of it.
Life hadn't been the easiest lately. He hadn't heard from his daughter, Ellie, in almost two years now. He had no idea where she was or how she was doing, if she had gotten out of all the shit she had been into, or if she was already dead, lying unnoticed in a gutter somewhere in Sin City. Then, just a short time ago, Detective Lockwood, one of their own, had been shot and killed in a bank robbery. He had liked Lockwood. He was a good worker, good man. He felt horrible for the man's poor family. He couldn't imagine getting that call about Ellie.
No, that wasn't true. He had imagined in several times. He had awoken in the middle of the night to the phone ringing, and with each ring he grew more and more sure that Ellie was dead somewhere, murdered or OD-ed or something, and one of his cops was calling him to tell him that he needed to go to the morgue and ID her. He had seen Ellie dead in his mind far too many times. He never wanted to hear that call.
But death was all around these days, and he supposed that's just what happened when you choose your career as a cop. Ellie missing, Lockwood dead, the lab blown up, young Greg Sanders almost blown up right along with it. A little more than a year ago, Nick Stokes thrown out of a window, being stalked by some maniac. Three years ago, Holly Gribbs dead, perp returned at the scene. Death was everywhere.
But hey, this was Sin City, right? Death was just another form of entertainment.
Yeah, right.
He couldn't remember if things had always been this way. He had been a cop for too long; he had seen a lot of things and after awhile, the horror just sort of fades away. He didn't feel like he had grown jaded as much as the world had just grown darker. It was a stupid concept. Things had always been shit, especially in this city.
But that's why he was a cop. He got to put the bad guys in jail. He got to keep death from happening everywhere. He got to help the good guys live. And he didn't always succeed, sure. But most times, he did. And just that was worth fighting for.
He wondered again what the hell he was doing up here on the roof? Sure, it was nice to take a break now and then. But he didn't need one now; he just wasn't that introspective of a guy. And that was fine. Sure, it might be nice to be as intelligent and deep as Gil, but his life was all right with him. He had bad guys to catch and he was satisfied with that.
He still wished Ellie would come home, though.
Life would never be sweet if parts of it didn't taste like shit.
