It still rained that day on and off, and it remained cold. Not your typical early April weather, which was why I was so thankful for being able to wear pants at work.
I had all day to sit and think about the little meeting at the magazine stand of earlier, so by now I was convinced that it was all just nothing, like Cloud had said. Besides, worrying made people more vulnerable to colds and things.
Gigi came to work a few minutes late, wearing the little pleated white skirt. Never mind how it was forty degrees outside; I had a good idea why she did that. She came in with one of those big puffy jackets too, dark blue and almost long enough to make it look like she wasn't wearing anything from the waist down. "Brrr... So cold!" she said when she reached the bar. She made for the break room in back, but before she even got into the hallway Antoine stopped her.
"You're wearing a skirt? It's like winter out there!"
Gigi paid him little mind. "So what? A little cold never hurt anyone." She wasn't telling the full story; I could figure out that much.
Antoine made a little comment about her being late, but she just called him a cock sucker and went on her way. "She looks like a chicken," he muttered resentfully after she disappeared, and I laughed a little. He'd made that remark half to himself, probably to be on the safe side, but when he heard me laugh at it he continued. "You know, those bird legs and that huge jacket... Damn. Just like a chicken."
I was still giggling by the time Gigi emerged from the back of The Cafe. "What? What's so funny?"
"Nothing," I said simply. Before she could cut in with something else, I changed the subject. "So why are you wearing the skirt?"
Antoine threw a glance our way. "That's what I'd like to know."
"Shuddup, shit face," Gigi snapped at him. Then she turned to me and stated more calmly, "Because...! That Sef guy is bound to come back here one of these days! And he might just come back tonight, so..." She trailed off momentarily, then grinned from ear to ear. "When he does, it's bending-over time."
I could've given myself credit for a.) being psychic, or b.) being a good judge of her character. I decided to go with option b. When it came to the opposite sex, Gigi could actually be predictable. Never mind how she said she wasn't interested in Sef that afternoon. She never gave up so easily.
"Oh God," Antoine groaned. "I just ate dinner too, a half an hour ago..."
I was kind of disgusted myself, but I just raised my eyebrows neutrally. Better silent than sorry.
Gigi chewed Antoine's ass off the way she normally did. "Bite me, you turd lover! It's none of your business anyway!"
Knowing how Gigi operated, her schemes normally became everyone's business. But as usual, I didn't say anything.
Work went slow that night, the way it normally did during the last shift. It ended at midnight and as always I walked myself home. From that point life became normal and peaceful again, and it remained that way until the fourth day.
It was Thursday and another late shift for me. Gigi had worn her skirt every day to work that week, expecting Sef to show up, but he never did until then. I should've taken what happened earlier that night as an omen of returning weirdness or something: Mr. Weiss left early because he got a call from a hospital in Reine saying his wife had been mugged. Too, Antoine had to leave before nine o'clock because his aspiring-actress girlfriend needed to be picked up from a play rehearsal.
"I can't believe he got a girlfriend," Gigi said. "He's the biggest APE! Who the hell would go out with him, in their right mind?" Of course she was one of the first people to hear about that; she made a real effort to keep on top of local gossip.
But enough digression. It was a little past a quarter after eight when Sef came in. He had no hat on this time, so I finally got a good look at his hair. It was just like I thought it'd been: white. Or silver. Yes, silver was a better word for it. And it was tied back into a little tail, just like last time. He wore that same long black coat too, and it gave him the effect of a shadow as he entered on light feet. He walked with unusual grace, almost like he was dancing across the floor, waltzing, catlike. Like a panther, or someone who did ballet. ...Ballet? All right, that was just dumb, but it popped into my head as I watched him. He picked a table by the window, way off on the right, and sat down with hardly any sound save the legs of the chair scraping against the floor. Against all the low sounds in here it was like a freight train.
I couldn't believe it. It was Monday's incident about to happen all over again. I was going to get sick and upset and have to leave work early and be up all night worrying. The last time I had several hours to while it away doing other things. Now I had nothing between his latest appearance and me going to bed except for a quick shower once I got home.
Antoine really didn't take notice of Sef; he had no reason to. Gigi was all excited naturally, so much so that she was practically jumping up and down the moment she saw him come in. She gasped so loud, then did the whole "oh my God it's him it's him it's him" thing. Then when she calmed down a bit she started narrating his every move like a documentary. "He's walking over to the side... He's taking a seat by the window... He's pulling out the chair... He's sitting down... Oh God, I wish I was that chair..."
Antoine made a little noise that sounded something like "ew."
Gigi totally ignored him. "God... I knew it! I knew it! I knew he'd come here sometime this week!" She grabbed me by the arm and started shaking me. "Look at him, damn it! Look!"
I'd been biting on my lip so hard that I managed to draw a little blood. I hadn't even been aware of doing that. "What? I'm looking, I'm looking..."
"Well don't just stand there! Put some things on the floor so I can pick 'em up! I'm going to go...act casual." She grabbed a cloth, then headed out from behind the bar and started cleaning one of the tables. I noticed that she started on the side of the room opposite from where Sef was sitting. She'd work her way there eventually, I knew.
I didn't do what Gigi asked me to because I wasn't thinking about it. I was getting that creepy feeling again, but this time I wasn't sick. That had to have been a good sign. I tried recalling what Cloud told me, that it was all just nothing, all in my head. Mind over matter.
Still, if I could've wished for the guy to disappear, I would've done so.
With the absence of Gigi nearby, Antoine started talking again. "What's she so excited about anyway? Who's she talking about?"
I didn't face him when I answered. "The guy sitting over there, by the windows." I didn't point; I just hoped he'd get the idea. My eyes were locked on Sef. He had reading material with him again, a newspaper this time. He was bent over it and the furrow in his brow was so familiar to me. Add that to the funny hair color and it had me thinking, was he right? Had I really met him somewhere before? I went over Monday's incident for the umpteenth time. What if this Sef remembered something that I couldn't? Maybe his memory was sharper than mine. Maybe that's why he recognized me, and not the other way around.
But still, he lived in Reine, and I'd never been there.
Unless he lived somewhere else prior...
"You mean the guy all the way over on the side there?" Antoine asked me. He came up behind me now. "Is he going to get something here or what? This isn't a restaurant; I'm not waiting on him..."
Two customers, a guy and a girl, came in and I moved to one of the registers, waiting for them. When Antoine saw that I was going to handle them, he turned back to staring at Sef. "Take a picture; it lasts longer," I mumbled irritably. He must've heard me, because he moved away.
"So Gigi likes that guy, or what?" He was at my side again, whispering to me. I turned and opened my mouth to say something, but by then the customers had already reached the register.
They didn't want much, just two Wutan teas. That tea brought back memories; my mother used to make it a lot back in Nibelheim, before Wutai warred with ShinRa. After ShinRa's victory, anything Wutai-related was sort of downplayed or just discouraged. Not so in towns like Quintz, of course. Actually, I found that it was in independent places like this one that businessmen from Wutai found reliable clientele.
Antoine made the tea, I gave it to them and they paid for it, and that was it. Gigi stopped cleaning tables soon after the customers sat down. She headed over to the bar. I knew she was going to be impatient by then, so I mentally braced myself.
"Damn it Tifa, you've gotta start dropping things or something here," she hissed at me through clenched teeth. "I'm gettin' all nervous... My palms are sweaty..." She wiped them on her skirt.
"I can't drop anything," I told her. "I don't know what to drop without making it look like I'm doing it on purpose..."
"Well then just do this---" Gigi grabbed a few napkins from a holder and released them from her hand, beyond the bar, where they fluttered to the floor.
"What the fuck...?" Antoine started.
"Shut up, nut sack licker," she whispered severely.
I started giggling. "Stop with those silly names...!"
She turned on me then. "Shut up, ass lover." As much as she was trying not to smile, it was getting the better of her. "You people're making me more nervous, damn it!"
While the three of us were being silly, I instinctively threw a glance back over at Sef. He was watching us now. I saw one exotic green eye beholding our commotion. The expression on his face was blank; I couldn't tell what he was thinking. Pretty soon I realized that his look had changed over to recognition again, like back at the magazine stand.
He was looking at me. Again.
I froze and stopped laughing. Not again. This was too incredible. Behind me Gigi and Antoine were actually being civilized with each other, but I was too stunned to care.
"Oh shit, I forgot about the napkins..." Gigi brushed past me then. She went around the bar and made a big display out of bending over to get them. I barely noticed; I was more interested in Sef's reaction.
He looked at her all right, but his expression was neutral.
Gigi "accidentally" dropped a few more things on the floor---fortunately unbreakable stuff---and I kept my eye on Sef. After the first time, he paid no attention to her at all. He went back to reading.
When she was finished, Gigi asked me about his reaction. I told her the truth.
"Only the first time? What about all the other times?" she fumed. She looked over at him. He was folding his newspaper up and rising from his chair. He made his way over to us. I swallowed. Gigi stood beside me and squeezed my arm. Antoine reached the register first.
Gigi said nothing. She still said nothing even as Sef walked right by the two of us. He didn't even do so much as glance. He went over to Antoine, ordered something, and the two of us turned and watched while Antoine carried it out himself. I felt awkward. I couldn't tell what was going through Gigi's mind. Just swallow me, I begged the floor.
Sef must've ordered coffee, because I caught the smell. He waited patiently for everything, and when he finally got it, he paid for it and made his way back to where he'd been sitting. And that was that.
Gigi's grip on my arm loosened. She was ticked. "That monkey fucker just walked right by me!" she whispered. "Can you believe that?"
"Maybe he's not interested," I replied. He'd made that obvious from day one.
"Not interested?" Gigi left my side and leaned over the bar. She shouted to Sef just as he was sitting down again. "Hey you! Remember me?"
He looked up at her. "No," he said slowly.
Gigi persisted. "'No'? Hello? What about the magazine stand? A few days ago? On Monday?"
"Don't push him," I warned her.
Sef looked as though he recognized her then, but his eyes turned icy fast. "Oh... I see. Look, I don't know what you want from me..."
She wants a lay, I thought.
"...But I'd rather have you leave me alone. I'm here for peace and quiet."
Surprisingly Gigi didn't answer him. She was so embarrassed I could feel it. She drew back from the bar, slowly, like she'd been struck. "Bastard," she growled, before she turned and quickly retreated to the back.
I caught Antoine shooting me a questioning glance. I shook my head. "Let me handle her."
I went after Gigi and found her in the break room, sitting on a chair. She drew her knees up and folded her arms on top of them. That said "approach with caution" to me, so I stood in the doorway and let her know I was there. I called her name.
She looked over her shoulder slightly. "Go away."
I walked into the room and stopped right beside her. "Gigi, look... I tried to tell you, he wasn't interested. Besides, you have a boyfriend---you have Roger. You don't need that guy..."
"Damn right I don't," she answered me. She didn't look at me that time. "God, what a stupid fucking jerk. Did you see the way he looked at me?" She lowered her feet to the floor and faced me now. "Did you see the way he acted? So fucking cold. God damn... If I punched him in the heart I'd break my goddamn fist!"
I didn't know what to say; I exhausted all my best consolatory remarks seconds ago. "Well... He's just not your type," I offered weakly. "You're right though; he is too cold. And spooky," I added, mainly to myself.
"Spooky? Shit, Tifa, he's a goddamned creep! I try to be nice, I try to say hi, I was hoping he'd recognize me the moment he came in... Got all my fucking hopes up for nothing. Fucker." She stomped her foot there, then drew her knees up again. "Just go away, okay? I don't feel like talking right now."
I felt bad. Even if what Gigi wanted was wrong, considering she already had a boyfriend, I didn't like to see her get so depressed. So I gave her a little hug.
She looked up at me. "I love you, Tifa. In that non-gay way."
I chuckled.
"Now get out," she said curtly, putting her head down. I let her go and made for the door. As I left she added, "Don't say a THING about this to Antoine, okay?"
"I won't say anything."
She seemed content at that, so I headed back out front. She was lucky Mr. Weiss had to leave early.
Antoine and I handled things by ourselves for ten minutes. Sef remained there with us, still seated and still reading, only now he interspersed that with a sip of his coffee. Gigi reemerged from the break room then, back to her old self. And twice as spiteful.
"He's probably gay," she said out loud. "Girls don't turn him on... I know! I'll bring my four-year-old cousin in here! He's a boy; that oughta make his goddamned evening..."
We tried to hush her, but it wasn't much use. The night wore on and soon it was nine o'clock. Sef, Antoine, Gigi, and I were pretty much the only people in The Cafe. I knew Antoine had to leave then. He reminded us to lock up as he went, and Gigi told him to go to hell, in so many words.
That reduced things to just three of us. Sef still didn't leave and Gigi was still angry, probably because Sef was still there and therefore she still had to look at him. Why he was still there, I couldn't say. He might've been really absorbed in what he was reading, but that didn't entirely make sense. He'd been sitting there for nearly an hour.
Mind over matter, I told myself. I was starting to lose faith in that, though.
Gigi walked over to the register suddenly and put two gil in there. Then she turned and reached for a shot glass. I knew what she was doing, and it wasn't allowed. "Gigi, you're not supposed to---"
"Who cares? No one's here but us." She filled the shot glass with beer from the tap, then downed the whole thing like it was nothing. A frequent drinker, then? "Why don't you have one too? Shit, think about what we can get away with now that we're the only ones here!" She paid for another shot, refilled the glass, and downed that one.
I was hesitant. I could get away with doing that, I realized, and for the love of God, I felt so uptight. Alcohol probably would've done me good. But I'd never been drunk on a job before, so the idea of breaking that record was kind of repulsive. I didn't want to drag myself down to Gigi's level simply because she was upset. But I was upset too, so wasn't that enough of an excuse?
"Coward," she teased me. She was downing a third shot then. "C'mon! Who cares? No one'll know!" Famous last words. She filled the glass a fourth time, then reached for a new glass, filled that one up, and gave it to me. "Here. Drink. Just remember to pay for it; I can't shell out for both of us."
"But I've never been drunk on the jo...hell." I took the shot glass, then reached in my pants pocket. I didn't think I had much on me; I never carried much money to work. I had no reason to. "Oh, damn. Just two ten-gil pieces." I looked up at Gigi and frowned.
"Well then put them both in! That's what...ten shots right there? C'mon! We're gettin' paid again tomorrow!" She held out her hand for the money. I still hesitated. "Is that all you have left? What do you have to buy anyway? Nothing important, right?"
"Well... Nothing really, but I like to have a little something on hand just in case---"
"And you'll get that tomorrow! C'mon! It ain't fun gettin' drunk alone! I'm miserable, damn it. I wanna get drunk and forget about everything. C'mon, Tif! Drink and we'll gradually get merry!"
I laughed at her last comment. But I didn't think she understood: I wasn't like her; I didn't find rebellion to be fun. Then again, I didn't always play by the rules either, but it was better to work under them and keep your job than break them and lose it. Besides, rules could always be bent a little...
Like now? "What if Mr. Weiss finds out? We're gonna be in deep---"
Shit. Deep shit. I didn't get to finish my sentence because Gigi swiped my last twenty gil and deposited it in the register. "He won't find out, if we don't make too big a mess." She smiled that big smile of hers, raised her glass a little, and downed her fourth shot. Or was that the fifth?
I downed my first then, which was about the time that something hit me. "Wait, you didn't pay for that last one!"
She shrugged. "I put it on your tab."
"My tab?"
"Yeah, that twenty gil sitting in there."
"No! No because I'm not shelling out for you! Pay up!" If it was one thing I was going to put my foot down about, it was money. I was no rich girl, and it sadly didn't grow on trees.
Gigi's face turned red. "I don't think I have any more money, actually..." Her eyes started darting here and there.
"Gigi!"
"Yes?" she asked sheepishly.
I advanced on her. "You owe me." And if she thought that drinking would wipe that off my memory, she had another thing coming.
"Jesus, okay, fine! Next pay..." She filled her glass up again. I did the same.
And that was our descent into drunkenness. We did that for maybe ten or fifteen minutes, and I forgot how many shots we'd downed, but almost needless to say it was a lot. When Gigi started getting really slaphappy, I stopped her and myself. I was only a few shots behind her, so I was getting pretty silly myself.
And uninhibited. We started leaning on the bar and talking about things. The whole time, Sef looked like he was trying to pretend we weren't there...or maybe his reading was still occupying most of his thoughts. I got the feeling that he didn't approve of what we were doing. Maybe he'd come over and lecture us about it...for some reason. Because he looked like the stern type.
"I don't think he likes what we're doing," I said to Gigi.
"Meh... So? He's not my goddamned father," she slurred. A little pause. "Say, when you told me he looked, the first time I was bendin' over...what did he look like? Like, was he all happy, like 'Hot damn!' happy? Was 'e smilin', or..."
"No actually he was...frowning," I said, frowning myself, imitating his face. "Kind of like this... See?" I showed Gigi.
"What? What the fuck, that's NOT how you look at someone who's showing off her butt in your general direction..."
"And he didn't look again, all the other times."
"Because he's GAY, Tifa! He's proven that earlier..."
"Mmm well, he was staring at me," I blurted out. Oops. Unintentional spill of interior monologue. Damn drunken state that I was in...
Gigi's silliness turned to fury. "What?" she squeaked. "You? Why you? Goddamnit... It's those tits, I'll bet..."
"Hey!"
"Guess he's not gay after all... Men. I hate 'em."
"I'm more than just 'tits', Gigi."
"Not to some guys out there you ain't. Shit, I should've known... He probably likes you. Fucker. He said your name back then like I wasn't even there..."
"You try too hard."
"You're probably makin' him hard." She grinned like a Cheshire cat. I slapped her in the arm, not knowing why I did that really, only that I felt I should lash out. She slapped me back on my arm. I slapped her a second time and she returned that too. When I went to hit her a third time, she dodged me---albeit very awkwardly. She practically tripped over her own feet. "Damn it, Tifa... Don't hit me..."
"Why not? You hit me!"
"I c'n hit you, 'cuz you're stronger than me..."
"That isn't an excuse!"
"Yup it is. You hit too hard. You're so big and strong..."
I walked over until I was staring her in the face. "Don't say that; it makes me sound like a guy. 'Big and strong'..."
"Well you are!" She put her arms around my shoulders then. "Dance with me, Mister Tifa."
"Oh, you disgust me..." But I danced with her anyway, for the sake of dancing. We were doing some messed up version of the waltz, or something. Then Gigi released me and slapped me again. I tried to hit her back and she ran away. So I chased her, round and round all the tables. Sef was watching us, but I was too smashed to get a good look at his expression. Gigi started grabbing random salt shakers and tossing their contents in my direction. Usually she was way off target though. We spent a long time goofing off and doing stupid things, and the whole time it looked like Sef was keeping an eye on us. But he said nothing about what we were doing. I would've been freaked out again, or just confused, or both, but I had too much blood in my alcohol system, so I really couldn't think...
We were making a small mess into a huge one, but we didn't know it yet. We were losing track of time too, and we didn't realize it until Sef said something. "So," he started, as calm as you please, "what time do you close, normally?"
Close? I shot a tipsy glance at the clock on the wall. "Oh, crap. Gigi, it's five after! It's five after twelve!" And there were shot glasses that needed washing, and a floor that needed to be swept, and a building that had to be locked up...all of which should have been done five minutes ago.
Gigi looked disbelievingly at the clock, but then her eyes widened. "Oh SHIT! This place should've closed five minutes ago!" She looked back at me, covering her mouth. Her face was beet red, so much so that all her freckles disappeared.
"We're so fired!" I groaned. "C'mon, we've gotta clean up..." I reached out and grabbed her by the arm, dragging her back to the bar.
She was delirious. "Oh, we're screwed! We're so fucked! We're in the deepest, darkest shit... We're in shit so deep we'll need a boat to cross..."
I laughed in spite of the situation. She always said such ridiculous things. "Look, be serious. Wash the shot glasses, okay? I'm gonna go take care of the floor."
"We won't get out 'til, like, twelve-thirty! We should just go!"
"No, if Mr. Weiss sees that tomorrow we're fired! Just do it!" I abandoned Gigi and ran in back, got a broom and a dustpan, and set about the wonderful task of cleaning up spilt salt. Well, I realized, I probably should've swept the floor anyway. Earlier.
My sweeping took me close to Sef's table. To my shock---which was slightly numbed by my being drunk, but still present anyway---he started talking to me. "I admit, I didn't come here only for peace and quiet."
I stopped sweeping and looked at him. My head was swimming. "What do you mean?"
He turned around in his chair so that he was facing me. "I've been trying to run into you again for days. I wasn't entirely sure if you worked here, but it was the only thing I could go with."
Um, wow? ...No, that called for an "oh my God." Or a "what the hell is he talking about?" I was too drunk to pick from the choices, so I just gaped.
He continued. "I wanted to catch you right before you got out. Shows how much my timing is off." He leered. "I don't want to impose, but I would appreciate it if you'd allow me to walk you home. I have a few things I want to ask you."
I struggled to swallow everything he said. Our eyes locked. I cursed myself for being so drunk; I couldn't even read their expression. But God, they were so forceful. For a moment I thought they were the only things keeping me from falling right then and there. That power frightened me, because I knew where I'd seen it before. But no, he couldn't be who I thought he was. He couldn't be that awful name that just ran across my conscious thoughts like a bolt from the blue. No, I was too drunk. I was hallucinating. Yes. Of course.
I nodded. Yes, he could walk me home. Did I have a choice?
