Oh. Eheh. Um…. ::hides under desk:: I brought this on my own head, I know, but I didn't think I'd get happy reviews. Thank you very much, all of you. I really appreciate it, and I hope I don't disappoint you with the rest of my work. Though if I do, I can slap a sticker on it that says "First attempt" and laugh it off. Ah, the powers of a neophyte.
Really, thank you. ^__^
As you might have guessed, I have the story pretty much written out, but I keep revamping and revamping…which brings me to this chapter. There are some parts here that I don't really like and if I were braver, I would remove them. But after looking at it many times, I felt that removing the parts that bothered me would ultimately do more harm than good, so I didn't do anything to it. Oh well. Let's see what y'all think.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters (though that would be nice…I'd feel very safe with them around.)
SPOILERS: If you have not been keeping up with the manga and you do not want any inkling of spoilers, you may not want to read. But it is up to you.
* * * * *
Run From You
By Doskoipanda
Chapter 3: Speculating
Sakura waved as the last of her students ran off to their next class. Smiling, she absentmindedly flicked her hair off her shoulders and turned back to the classroom. There wasn't much to tidy, but the kids always managed to cause some disarray.
She fell to erasing the blackboard, noting the time. It was 2:50…she'd have to wait ten minutes before Lee finished coaching the kids' taijutsu classes, and since he would always show up wherever she was at 3:00 on the dot, she preferred to wait for him in her classroom. It wasn't that she was ashamed of him, but Lee had a habit of belting out songs of love and adoration whenever he saw her, and he had caught her at the grocery store just last week. The cashiers had not stopped tittering at her since.
She'd have to teach him not to do that. Beat it into him, more like. But she couldn't help smiling.
Lee had come so far since the fateful Chuunin exam seven years ago, where he had sustained injuries that had nearly ended his life as a shinobi. The Fifth Hokage's surgical procedures had worked, but she had warned Lee that it would take years—at least four—for his physical prowess to return to him. But he'd proven her wrong; he had regained his form in one year. The next hurdle was his utter lack of jutsu capability; he failed the jounin exam three years in a row because of it. But with Sakura's help, (he had cracked and sought tutoring) he finally passed. Now, three years later, he was a taijutsu sensei at the Ninja Academy with 23
A -rank missions to his name.
And somewhere during all that time spent with him, Sakura had found it increasingly easier to disregard those eyebrows, easier to comfort and encourage him when he was down, easier to let him be his bumbling, passionate self. Somewhere in all that time, something tangled and complex had begun to grow in her, and had ensnared Rock Lee in its tendrils and branches.
All she could do…all she wanted to do…was to grow with him.
She had nearly finished erasing the blackboard when the door slid open and footsteps heralded a new arrival.
"You're here early," Sakura said in some surprise, not turning around. "Hang on, I'm almost done." She finished, closed her eyes and turned, bracing herself for the torrent of hearts and the enthusiastic hug she would receive.
It did not come. She held out her arms, and still nothing. Frowning, she opened her eyes and promptly squeaked in embarrassment. Sasuke was regarding her coolly, though he had one eyebrow raised.
"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura's face burned. "I thought….sorry, I thought you were Lee-san…"
"I figured." Sasuke sat on one of the desks. "You think he'd blow a gasket if I was here?"
"Of course not." Some of Sakura's composure had returned, and she began to rearrange the desks into straighter lines. "He's not a jealous person."
He's too simple minded for that, Sasuke thought. "By the way, congratulations on your teaching certificate." He tossed a small bundle of irises onto the counter beside the classroom vase.
"Thank you," Sakura said warmly, but Sasuke had moved into a silent contemplation of the classroom floor.
Sakura arranged the flowers nicely, then turned and looked directly at her former teammate, who did not notice but kept on musing in a totally different world.
It was hard to say what Sakura was to Sasuke. Her love for him had not abated, but as the years went by, the nature of her love had changed. She had realized, though some of the explanation had come directly from him, that what he did not need was another irritating, mindless girl who fancied herself in love with him.
She had been heartbroken when she'd finally admitted it to herself, but she had healed, and she had indeed become Sasuke's special girl, but not in the way she'd imagined it. She was like a combination of elder sister and mother to him. He confided in her what he could not to Kakashi-sensei; Sakura figured that she filled the empty space that his real mother had once occupied.
She was fiercely proud of her role. There was no other woman in his life that he respected and cherished more, and to be able to take care of him the way she could was more than any Konoha girl could boast of. She loved him as much as she loved Naruto, and just as platonically.
But this did not mean that he could get away with his behavior.
"Sasuke-kun," she began quietly, trying not to let her inner self take control. "Why did you fail Naruto again?"
The Uchiha did not answer, nor did he look at her, but he could feel the intensity of her stare boring into his skin, possibly passing through muscle and bone in an intense search for answers lost deep in his soul.
"He did well. He received top marks from everyone, and that's hard to do. Everyone," she took a step closer to him. "Everyone except you."
No response.
"You know how much it means to him."
Sasuke knew. Naruto's dream of becoming Hokage would become even more tangible when he ascended to jounin level.
"And it's not passing the exam that matters. He wants your approval."
His insides crashed together painfully, and his eyes suddenly met hers. She stopped, a tirade clearly on the tip of her tongue, and yet she knew that he wanted to….that he needed to tell her something.
The room was still. Outside, Lee's enthusiastic roars spurred the children on to greater efforts, but the sound was lost upon the two shinobi.
"I can't give him that." Sasuke said slowly, deliberately. Desperately. "I can't."
"Why not?" Sakura's voice was still tinged with anger. "It wouldn't hurt. He's worked so hard, and he values your opinion a lot, no matter how much he denies—"
"No, Sakura, I can't. You have to….you have to understa—"
"Why not?!" Sakura snapped.
"Because everything…would…come apart." Sasuke said lamely.
Because I saw something in him.
Because I'm afraid of it.
Because I'm afraid of myself.
Sakura grabbed her hair in frustration and growled. "Sasuke-kun, to be frank, this thing you guys have going on between you is as stupid as it is so over-seven-years-ago, can't you give it a rest? Don't you get tired of hating each other?"
"I don't hate him."
The answer was so sudden and so full of suppressed emotion that Sakura stared. Sasuke looked startled himself, as if he hadn't meant to say it but it had burst out of him without consent. And he was apparently not finished. "I'm trying to…keep him away…I think…I don't even know…" he said slowly, unwillingly, finally locking eyes with Sakura and allowing her to see his state of mind through his gaze.
She saw confusion, and fear, and then her breath caught in her throat as she beheld something that was obvious and yet not, destined and yet not.
Something so right…
Kami-sama…is it even possible? she thought dazedly.
"Sasuke-kun…" she began helplessly, but was interrupted by Lee's booming, happy voice. "SAKURA-SAN! I HAVE PINED FOR YOU ALL DAY—ah!" The indefatigable Rock Lee noticed Rival No. 2 and instantly nodded his head with respect. "Sasuke-kun! It has been awhile!"
Sasuke nodded back, all traces of the last few moments completely gone from his face. Sakura sighed inwardly, then smiled ruefully as Lee found out that the flowers were for his Sakura-san and nearly killed Sasuke with the exuberance of his gratitude.
Sasuke-kun…are you…?
* * * * * *
It was obvious that something had happened between Naruto and Sasuke. They did not speak to each other unless they had to, and when they did, mothers covered their children's ears.
But because Naruto still smiled and Sasuke was still moody, their antagonism was passed off as a completely normal event. After all, didn't those two fight all they time? It wasn't breaking news.
And after a few more days, Naruto and Sasuke were interacting civilly once more, and the inhabitants of Konoha rolled their eyes and got about their business. Naruto was as obnoxious as ever, Sasuke brooded, and all was right in the Hidden Village of the Leaf.
Except that Naruto was extremely defensive and touchy now, especially around Sasuke, and the Uchiha went out of his way to avoid the blonde shinobi when he could. But oh well, this change in their relationship hardly mattered to the majority of Konoha.
Sakura cared, though. And being the brilliant, intuitive and concerned kunoichi she was, she took her theories and thoughts to a friend that she liked and respected immensely, someone she could trust….
* * * * * *
But oh man, did Ino have a loud voice.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Ino's voice nearly shattered the windowpanes of her family's flower shop. Sakura waved frantically for her to be quiet. "It's just a hunch," she hissed. "So don't go screaming it out."
Ino sat back in her chair, completely flabbergasted. "I can't believe…or actually I can….no, never mind. I can't."
Sakura sat back as well, picking up her tea cup and turning it around in her hands. She almost dropped it as Ino's face appeared right under her nose. "Are you SURE?" the blonde asked.
"No." Sakura shut her eyes in annoyance. "It's just…what Sasuke-kun said…got me to thinking. And it somehow….works out."
"But it's a shame," Ino mourned, reaching out to pour more tea. "I'm a lot more beautiful than Naruto."
Sakura gave her a look that would have frozen the tea, but Ino giggled. "Girl, you're so easy to tease." She filled both cups but did not drink out of hers, choosing to stare at it instead. "No…it makes sense," she mused. "In fact it seems….right."
Sakura looked at her friend sharply. Ino had chosen the same word that she had….the word "right".
So what exactly was bothering Sasuke-kun?
Ino stopped staring at her tea and looked up at Sakura. "So why are you telling me?" she asked. "You want me to go play matchmaker?"
"NO!" It was Sakura's turn to rattle the windowpanes now. "And don't you DARE go blabbing about it. I told you, it's just a hunch, I may be wrong."
"What, the great Haruno Sakura, wrong? May lightning strike me dead." Ino winked at her. "Don't worry, I won't tell a soul."
Sakura smiled. Though they still had their squabbles, she and Ino were growing closer and closer as the years went by.
"I told you because I can't figure out why it's a problem for him." Sakura slumped over and put her hand over her tea cup. Steam fogged under and around her fingers.
"Well, that's obvious." Ino leaned back with her own tea. "They're both men."
Sakura frowned. "I don't think it's as simple as tha—"
"Oi."
Both women whipped their heads around to view the newcomer, then let their mouths fall open. "Shika!" Ino jumped up and rushed over to the shadow ninja, who was wearing his usual look of pained annoyance and about fourteen assorted packages on his back. "What's all this…why are you…did you go to get the shipment by yourself?! You brought EVERYTHING AT ONCE???"
"Well, you were busy here." Shikamaru answered in a bored tone, though almost bent double from the load of small urns and large stone tablets. "Where do you want this stuff?"
"I'm not going to pay you extra for getting here fast, you know!" Ino snapped angrily at him as she removed packages and placed them anywhere she could. Sakura had to rescue the tea cups and kettle from being crushed under a marble slab. "Seriously, how could you be so stupid?! These blocks weigh ten pounds each!"
Shikamaru shrugged and flexed his shoulders. "I didn't want you to have to carry them."
Ino blinked. A flush suddenly made its way across Shikamaru's face. "Uh…I mean…it'd be troublesome to make three trips, you know, one to come get you, one for us to go back, one for us to carry it all here…" His eyes traveled around the shop as if trying to escape and rested briefly on Sakura, who nodded and smiled at him. He nodded back and without looking at Ino, stepped out of the shop. "So uh…I'll be here at ten tomorrow."
"Ok…don't be late…" Ino's voice was oddly quiet. Sakura waited until her friend had reseated herself before giving her a Naruto-ish grin. "What was that?"
Ino's baby blue eyes snapped dangerously quickly back onto Sakura's green ones. "What was WHAT?!" she demanded. "I have no idea! I don't understand him at all! Mou…he's really smart and yet so dumb…" She began to gather up the items she had haphazardly placed everywhere, muttering about how stupid men were and if he had dropped the load it would have cost her a fortune and how could he be so brilliant and so stupid at the same time…Sakura could not smother her smile as she put the tea items back on the table.
But as she remembered what had brought her here, the smile faded. Her intuitiveness told her that things could not be so simple, so natural, for Sasuke and Naruto. Whatever happened between them would not include the things that made her smile, things like Shikamaru embarrassed to be caught doing a favor for Ino.
Whatever happened between Sasuke and Naruto would be explosive and powerful, because that was the kind of people they were, and it would either break them or weld them together. Of that much, she was sure.
Sakura rolled her eyes as a shattering crash broke through her thoughts, followed by Ino's screams of outrage. As she rose to help her friend, she happened to glance out the windows of the shop and suddenly made an exclamation of surprise. Hyuuga Hinata was walking down the street, escorted by several Sand Village ninja.
"Hyuuga-san!" Sakura called, waving her hand. The timid young woman turned, a smile transforming her face. "Haruno-san!" she said delightedly. She spoke briefly to the group around her, all of whom nodded and continued down the street save one who walked with her into the shop. Sakura's smile became very, very fixed as she recognized Gaara.
Ino, who had been cursing at Sakura for inviting people in when the shop was in such a state, masterfully changed her attitude and tone of voice as the little bell over the door rang. "Irashaima—SE!!!!" she squeaked as she turned and also recognized the infamous Sand shinobi.
There was a terse silence, then Hinata's small, unsure voice piped up. "A…ano…it's a pleasure to see you two again. It's been a while."
"Seriously, it's been weeks!" Ino mastered her voice tone, and her sociable nature took charge. "Come on, sit down, I'll get more cups…oh the tea's cold, hang on just a second!"
Ino disappeared into the back room, leaving Sakura with Hinata and Gaara. None of them said a word; Hinata began to rub her index fingers together, a sure sign that she was nervous. Sakura, on the other hand, stared openly at Gaara, who returned her stare with cool eyes. Though immensely respectful of the Sand shinobi, she had never quite forgiven him for hurting Lee so badly, and the knowledge that he had once tried to start a war in Konoha made her extremely wary of him. Not to mention he had also tried to kill her once.
Gaara's gaze suddenly broke from Sakura's to look out the windows into the street. "Where is Uzumaki?" he asked. Hinata's shoulders perked up, and she looked up at Sakura with an eager expression.
"He's off by himself behind the school, probably in the woods. Training." Sakura did not mention that Naruto had failed his second jounin field trial test. It would only depress Hinata, and she never really liked telling Gaara anything. She picked up her cold tea and took a sip.
"Is he well?" Hinata asked. Sakura turned to her with a smile. "He's the same as always."
Or maybe not, she thought as she remembered the brief but poignant hurt she had seen in his eyes not so long ago.
Gaara's monotone voice interrupted her thoughts. "Where is Uchiha?" he inquired.
"I think he's at the jounin academy." Sakura answered. "That's where he usually is at this time."
The red-haired sand ninja rose; Sakura instantly jumped to her feet. The black-rimmed eyes narrowed in a sinister smile as Gaara held up a hand. "Don't worry. I just need to deliver a message to him. That's all." He turned to look down at Hinata. "You will be safe here. I shall meet you at the village gate in twenty minutes."
Hinata nodded and smiled at him. He did not smile back, but rested his hand briefly on her shoulder before stepping out of the shop.
Sakura watched him go with a frown on her face, wondering if she ought to follow him, but her train of thought was stopped by Hinata's small voice. "Ano…" she pleaded softly but earnestly. "Please…please trust in him. I know he's done horrible things…but he's…he's changed so much…just give him a chance."
Inner Sakura grumbled with a thousand misgivings, but Sakura gave Hinata a gentle smile. "I know. He's with you after all."
The pale-eyed woman blushed and smiled, rubbing her fingers together again in embarrassment. She was undergoing training to be a Konoha delegate, and she had been assigned to communications with the Sand Country, a measure taken to re-establish trust after the attempted war. Consequently, she and Gaara had forged a close relationship, which had not surprised Sakura. Though Hinata was fond of Naruto, and had wanted to ease the pain of his early life, she had found a similar hurt in Gaara that needed her attention more than Naruto's did. And in trying to heal Gaara's pain, she had realized who she had been destined for.
But Hinata still loved Naruto dearly. And she knew him quite well, though she had little communication with him. And she knew. It was the reason it was not so hard to give him up.
She leaned forward. "Ano…truthfully…is Naruto-kun all right?"
Sakura glanced at her, then closed her eyes and sighed. "Not really."
"Is it about Uchiha-kun?"
Sakura's pale green eyes dilated with shock as she froze, her tea halfway to her mouth. "H-h-how do you—"
"I've known that for a long time." Hinata said gently, smiling to herself. "I don't think even Naruto-kun realizes it."
"Realizes what?" Sakura put her cup down and clasped her hands around it.
"That Uchiha-kun is important to him." Hinata's pale eyes met Sakura's vibrant ones. "That he probably cares for him above all others."
"You mean," Sakura's fingers loosened on the cup. "You mean that Naruto doesn't realize that he has feelings for Sasuke-kun?"
"Well, that's the way I see it." Hinata smiled. "Naruto-kun can be a bit blind to this kind of thing. And he's good at denying things, especially to himself—"
There was a clatter, then Ino emerged triumphantly with cups, a kettle of hot tea and rice crackers. "I couldn't find any snacks!" she complained as she sat down. "My mom must've gotten to them. I had to break into my own private stash."
As Hinata immediately began apologizing, Sakura took the opportunity to lose herself in thought. Is that what's bothering Sasuke-kun? she wondered. Is it because he doesn't know what Naruto thinks?
No. There had been confusion in Sasuke's eyes. As if Sasuke himself didn't know what was going on.
What was he thinking? What were they both thinking?
Sakura stole a glance over at Hinata, who was tentatively nibbling at a rice cracker. Hinata feels sure about Naruto, but….is it really that? Or is it something simpler, like he just wants Sasuke's acknowledgement? Maybe I should ask.
…………………
She shook her head. No. I won't do anything. I shouldn't. This is something they have to work out themselves. But even as she resolved this and Inner Sakura reluctantly seconded it, she couldn't help feeling a little prickle of trepidation, because…
Naruto and Sasuke were both so powerful…they both had the power to break each other beyond repair.
What's going to happen to them? she wondered.
* * * * * * *
So there it is. This is the only chapter that I have misgivings about, though. I'm pretty happy with the way the rest of the story is going.
Thanks for reading, please review!
