And once again, I forgot to say it. But here it is! Since I am new to posting, I do not know how to retain my original format when moving from document to webpage. This is why my format is sometimes kooky. I chose to ignore it for now, but perhaps someday I'll get the hang of it.

Your reviews are still and will always be appreciated.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters (though that would be nice…what kind of jutsu would I have? Well, it'd have to have food involved. I'm quite partial to yummies. ^__^)

SPOILERS: If you have not been keeping up with the manga and you do not want any inkling of spoilers, you may not want to read. But it is up to you.

* * * * *

Run From You

            By Doskoipanda

Chapter 6: Denial

Naruto did not understand himself anymore. Why couldn't he get over the incident with Sasuke during his jounin field trial? Why did he get so hurt this time, why couldn't he just shrug it off and just forget it as usual?

Was it because of what had been born in him that fateful night?

            A year ago, he had not mastered the taijutsu art of staying absolutely still so as to blend into shadows and silhouettes without the aid of hand seals or chakra expenditure. It was a basic skill—Kakashi had aggravatingly pointed that out—so that was of course enough to make him stay out all night to practice and show "that goddamn asshole and that pervert sensei."

            But it had been a hard day, and the extra practicing soon had Naruto perched precariously in a high tree, asleep. He was rudely awakened when he toppled from his seat into the Konoha canopy.

            If he had only hit the ground, that would have been better at least for his dignity. But no, he had to get caught on a sturdy tree branch by the seat of his pants, completely immersed in branches and leaves.

            So he hung there with a gigantic hole in his pants, trying to twist around and free himself but not getting enough momentum to quite make it all the way around, snagging on all those ridiculous leaves, cursing during the whole ordeal—

            "What're you trying to pull?!"

            Hello. Voices. Voices = Help.

            Naruto sucked in a deep breath to scream for assistance. Instead he squeaked in shock as a shuriken suddenly burst through the canopy, not too far from his head.

            The situation went from aggravating to BAD in 0.2 seconds. "CRAP," Naruto hissed. He was rather ill-disposed to defend himself, dangling like some ridiculous piece of fruit in the middle of a shinobi duel. AND there was a hole in his pants.

            After a bit of thinking, he decided not to call for help because of the high chance of being mistaken as an enemy and killed. Hopefully, the two warring shinobi wouldn't notice him and would eventually move away.

Now was a good time for that taijutsu he'd been practicing. Biting his lip, he stilled his entire body and prayed that his lucky underwear wasn't poking through the canopy. He then focused his hearing on the fight below to judge their distance from him—

            "Get the hell away from me!"

            Naruto jumped. That was Iruka-sensei's voice!

            "Iruka-sensei?!" he called, getting a mouthful of leaves. Spitting and cursing, he clawed a small hole in the canopy to see what was going on below.

            His breath caught in his throat. His teacher, mentor and friend was pinned against a tree by a man that Naruto had never seen before, though the unknown shinobi wore the Konoha insignia on his flak jacket. A man with silver hair and a covered eye—

            Wait a minute.

            ……………

            No way.

            Naruto shook his head vigorously. That was not his sensei. That could not be his sensei, reason being Kakashi-sensei wore a face mask and was a kind of vapid-looking guy most of the time. Indeed, he was nothing at all like that steely, tense, aggressive mask-less shinobi down there who was handsome in a really irksome kind of way, like Naruto knew someone who looked like him, that guy below with a low drawling voice and a tilted forehead protector…. and….and….

            HOLY SHIT.

            Naruto snapped his open mouth shut so fast that he heard a cracking sound. He looked again.

            Way. Very way.

            That was Kakashi-sensei.

            No mask.

            It was almost like seeing the man naked. Naruto had the strong urge to look away, as if he was invading Kakashi's privacy by looking at his unmasked face. But he couldn't, just as Iruka-sensei couldn't seem to.

            Naruto had always wondered what had been hidden by that dark cloth. He had suspected all mannerisms of things, such as fish lips, horse teeth, hairy moles, BAD acne, interesting/compromising birthmarks, scars, or perhaps a tattoo of the Icha Icha Paradise logo. But he was not prepared to see absolutely nothing.

            Well, there was one scar, a very long one that ran across his left eye and down the left side of his face, almost to his jaw. Other than that, he looked like an ordinary….well, a good-looking guy.

            Naruto was disappointed. He now owed Sakura 500 yen.

            The missing face mask in question had fallen down around Kakashi-sensei's neck. But the silver-haired jounin didn't seem to care, as he was intent upon holding Iruka-sensei down.

            Oh yeah. Forgot about that. WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON??

            Figuring that something tremendous was happening, Naruto decided to not make a move or sound until he figured out what the two men were up to. He held his breath and peered carefully at the two jounin.

            Iruka struggled valiantly, but to no avail. Kakashi held him pinned against the tree trunk almost painfully.

            "Stop it, dammit!" Iruka's eyes locked onto Kakashi's with something that looked a lot like fear.

            "Then don't fight me." Kakashi's voice was low and almost monotonous, which might have fooled Iruka except for the harsh glint he saw in Kakashi's right eye. The silver-haired jounin was pissed.

            Then he smiled a strange smile.

            "You're really serious," he commented. "You even tried to attack me."

            "That wasn't obvious enough?!" Iruka nearly yelled. "I DID attack you! And I'll do it again when you get off me—"

            "I'm not going to," Kakashi's grip tightened on Iruka's arms. "Not until you tell me—"            "Like HELL I'm going to say ANYTHING—"

            "Iruka."

            The brown-haired jounin stiffened, eyes wide as if horrified. It was the second time Kakashi had addressed him by name, and its effect was no less potent. Something in him froze; his soul solidified into the most delicate and fragile of crystal, exposed and alone.

            He could not let Kakashi see that.

            "You don't have any manners at all, do you?!" Iruka made his voice unusually loud to hide the trembling. "Addressing me by my first name—"

            The outburst was stilled as Kakashi pressed the fingers of his left hand to Iruka's mouth. "Iruka..." he said again, quietly. "Say what you want to say."

            Iruka's chest heaved as a huge knot suddenly twisted his insides. Kakashi was right. Though his tongue was laden with furious diatribes and accusations, there was really one thing he wanted to ask.

He wasn't really sure he wanted the answer, though. But he had to know.

            "Why did you kiss me?" Iruka almost whispered, his mind's eye flashing back to events that had barely occurred…

            "You don't have to talk about it, seriously—"

            "It's not like it's a huge secret or anything, Sensei."

            Iruka shook his head. It was true that he already knew the story of Kakashi's left eye and how it had come to be, but still. "No, just don't. It's doesn't feel right somehow for you to be telling me about it…..the story of your past, I mean."

            The moonlight made little impact through the trees of the forest, so it was hard to see Kakashi's covered face. But somehow, Iruka knew Kakashi was smiling ever so slightly. Perhaps it was in his voice. "You're sure?" the silver-haired jounin asked.

            "Wha…of course I'm sure!" Iruka was affronted. "I'm not trying to dig into your past or anything, I….what do you think I am?"

            "You'd make a great mother."

            Iruka's eyebrow twitched. "Look, it's almost three in the morning, Naruto's probably passed out in here somewhere. It's not healthy given any case to sleep out in the open—"

            "Alright mom, keep your apron on." Kakashi sighed and shook his head. "You should head back. You gotta teach tomorrow, right? It's my fault that Naruto's out here anyway, so I'll find him—"

            "I'll find him 'cause I want to, and you're staying with me till he's safe at home." Iruka huffed. "Damn right it's your fault he's out here."

            Kakashi's right eye closed as he smiled sheepishly, and they continued to walk side by side through the forest in silence.

This was not an unfamiliar scene for either of them; ever since Naruto had been under Kakashi's tutelage, a relationship had begun to form between the two jounin due to Iruka's concern for Naruto. Though rocky at first, the bond between the two men had grown just as their students had, so much so that they were together most of the time now, enjoying each other's company in work and rest, in talk and comfortable silence. Unless of course Kakashi was stupid and provoking enough to make stupider individuals stay out late and get sick, then Iruka would drag said jounin out of his nice warm bed and into the woods not for company, but for punishment.

But when it was all said and done, it was still good to be with someone in the dark cold woods, someone like Kakashi who was quiet and confident and put Iruka in mind of a guard dog, fiercely protective.

Shaking his head slightly to dislodge these distracting thoughts, Iruka began to send his chakra out in a thin wall, trying to locate Naruto's blue and red aura.

            Distracting thoughts….reformulating….Iruka gritted his teeth and tried to concentrate, but it was futile.

Perhaps it was Kakashi's proximity, the fact that he was so near Iruka, close enough for the other to feel the magnificent, dangerous strength of his chakra. A strangely warm, soothing force.

            This was the chakra of a man who had been an ANBU special force ever since he was sixteen, who had seen more death and war in his teens than Iruka had seen his whole life, who had probably killed dozens and was destined to kill more. But Iruka felt so incredibly safe with him, so comfortable and at ease.

            People were such mysterious beings, especially once you got to know them.

            "I wonder if the rest of the world will ever see you the way I do." Iruka said softly, almost not meaning to say it aloud.

            "Huh?" Kakashi's response was predictably sleepy-sounding. Iruka smiled. "Nothing," he said just as quietly as his first comment.

            A moment passed by in what Iruka thought to be a comfortable silence, but that notion was destroyed immediately.

            "How do you see me differently?" Kakashi asked, his voice still low but no longer sleepy.

            A bit perturbed, Iruka came to a halt. Kakashi immediately matched his action step for step, turning to face the brown-haired jounin.
            "What are you talking about?" Iruka asked, the confusion plain in his eyes. Had he offended Kakashi in some way?

            "Do you really think you know me any better that anyone else?" Kakashi's voice was gravelly, with a slightly mocking air.

            Iruka's nervousness waned. "I would think so," he said lightly, smiling. "I've spent a lot of time with you, I'd think that I've probably know a bit more than anyone else around here. "

            "Have you really?" came the dry response. Iruka nodded slightly, still a bit lost and feeling displaced.

             "You're mistaken." Kakashi said pleasantly.

            A short silence emphasized Iruka's surprise. "Huh?" he said.

            "You don't know me any more than anyone else does." Kakashi's voice took on a slightly patronizing tone.

            "Wha…what does it matter…" Iruka was now totally dumbfounded, but starting to feel defensive. "It doesn't matter….I mean…what exactly haven't I seen about you? I even saw you cooking once, which I don't think a lot of people in this village—"

            Iruka's voice dropped away completely as Kakashi slowly raised a hand and tapped a finger to the side of his own face, against the dark blue mask.

            Silence pressed around them briefly, then Iruka's voice returned with a vengeance, along with a savage blush. "I WOULD NOT ASK TO SEE YOUR FACE!" the brown-haired jounin thundered, face red. "That's like….that's like seeing you naked!"

            Kakashi chuckled quietly, not sounding remotely mirthful. "See…you don't really know me that well."

            "Don't I?"

            Kakashi's eye snapped open and focused on Iruka, who was scratching at the scar over his nose to hide his embarrassment.

            "It's not that I don't want to see it," Iruka said to the ground, not looking up at the silver-haired jounin. "I think everyone in the village wants to. It's just that somehow…I know…that you wouldn't want to show it to just anyone that asked. I think…you'd only show it to people you really trusted. Or cared about."

            He expected to hear Kakashi's lazy laugh, or footsteps, but he wasn't prepared for silence. After a moment of it, he looked up at Kakashi and was mesmerized by what he saw in the other man's right eye, that glow of something gentle and vulnerable.

            "Do I trust you?" Kakashi asked quietly.

            And Iruka suddenly understood.

            But was it right? As Iruka reached up towards the mask, his hand clenched as if to hold himself back. Was it time to see Kakashi's face, time to expose himself to what Kakashi hid from the rest of the world? Did Kakashi really trust him enough to do this?

            And as he touched the edge of the mask and heard the breath catch in Kakashi's throat, he would have stopped were it not for Kakashi's gaze holding his own, assuring him, telling him that he was ready.

            Iruka clamped his eyes shut, hooked his fingers over the mask and pulled it down in one swift movement.

            Then he opened his eyes and saw Kakashi. Saw something so pure and unguarded in his face, something so trusting, something that looked like wonder.

            Was he really looking at this?

 Was this some kind of dream?

Iruka resisted the sudden and strong urge to reach out and touch Kakashi's exposed face, to make sure he was solid, dense, real.

            But there was no need to do that, as Kakashi was reaching towards him, saying something quietly, breathlessly…

"…Iruka…"

            Suddenly impossible to breathe—

            Too close, too warm, too—

            Kakashi's mouth closed gently over his own.

Iruka's eyes opened wide as he realized this, as he felt tremor after tremor break over his rigid body, as he understood what was happening to him.

And his mind reeled in horror as it discovered that his body was responding, relaxing, allowing the kiss to deepen, melting in the gentle passion emanating from the other—

            With a strangled cry and a gasp, Iruka broke away, stumbling back. The ground was fuzzy, swirling…he couldn't even see straight. Kakashi's body was the only thing that did not waver in his vision, but he could not seek refuge there. He could not!

            He saw Kakashi move forward and nearly fell trying to maintain his distance from him.

            "Stay away," Iruka gasped before vaulting into the canopy.

            But Kakashi was a jounin after all. Not even shuriken had deterred him from catching his prey.

            Why?! Why did he do it?! Why had he ruined everything?!

            "Why did you kiss me?" Iruka whispered.

            There was only a thick silence to answer his question. Then Kakashi's right eye closed as his entire body seemed to sag, very slightly, but enough for Iruka to notice. "Forget it," The silver-haired jounin muttered as he began to turn away, letting his hands fall from Iruka's wrists.

            Quick as only a shinobi can be, Iruka's freed right hand grabbed the front of Kakashi's flak jacket , preventing him from turning away completely. Kakashi blinked at him in surprise.

            "Answer me," Iruka grated out softly but vehemently. "I deserve it."

            "Sensei—"

            "GodDAMN YOU!" Iruka suddenly and unexpectedly gave Kakashi a fierce shake. "You did NOT call me 'sensei' just a minute ago! What do you want from me?! You think I can ignore something like that as if it were nothing?! What the hell do you think I am?!"

            Kakashi did not struggle against Iruka's grip, but the eye that watched him was empty, distant. Normal. "Just forget it. You're making way too big of a deal out it."

            "'Making a big'…WHAT?!" Iruka demanded, something making his vision hazy and his heart so full of heat. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

Kakashi's shrugged. "I was just fooling around. You take these things way too seriousl—"

Iruka punched him. Punched that beautiful scarred face right in the jaw. Not hard enough to break bones, but enough for anyone to want to wear a face mask for a while.

There was nothing after that except Iruka's ragged breathing. The brown-haired shinobi gradually let his head hang until it rested on Kakashi's collarbone and said nothing. He could not say anything.

Kakashi could, though.

"Why did you take my mask off?" the copy-ninja asked softly.

Iruka started, but did not lift his head. He didn't want to see Kakashi's face, or the mark he'd just made. And he stayed quiet.

Kakashi was silent as well, simply standing there supporting Iruka's weight. They stayed that way for a long time, or perhaps it was a short time, who knew? The world swirled around them while they stood forlornly, timeless, like two boulders parting a river. Immovable.

Then Iruka's voice came, muffled by Kakashi's flak jacket. "I wanted you to trust me." He said into the silver-haired jounin's chest.

Kakashi's eye closed. "I see," he murmured. And then he began to pull away.

But he didn't make it. Iruka's hands were clenched in the sides of Kakashi's jacket, grip as strong as the stitches in the fabric itself.

"I answered your question." Iruka did not look up, though his voice shook with intensity. "So answer mine."

There was a pause. Then Kakashi lifted a hand, laid it against Iruka's cheek, gently forced the brown-haired jounin's gaze to meet his.

"I'm sorry," he said with a light, fake smile. "I was the one who was mistaken."

A mistake? Iruka repeated. What does that mean?

Maybe he means I wasn't the person he meant to…

No. That was obviously not it, because something deep in Kakashi's eyes was glowing intensely, painfully.

He did mean to do it.

But why?!

"I guess I just lost my head for a minute and…I don't know…I wasn't thinking." Kakashi gave a small, heartless chuckle. "Hoped…too much."

"Hoped for what?" Iruka whispered.

Kakashi did not answer, but he did not let his gaze break from Iruka's, so for one split second, Iruka saw the unguarded, wondering tenderness he had previously seen before on Kakashi's naked face.

And he realized it for what it was, because he had seen it in his youth on his own father's face as his father watched his mother sleep at night. It was the look of a man in love.

Love…

Kami-sama. Iruka felt the ground drop out beneath his sandaled feet as an anvil of epiphany fell heavily on his head.

He loves me.

And as Iruka grasped this, confirmed it, he probed for a reaction, scoured his soul for it. All he came up with was a tingling feeling, a burning glow deep in his gut.

Was it…?

His attention abruptly snapped back to Kakashi, who was still smiling so artificially, gaze full of a bleakness and sorrow that burned, the look of a sentenced man seeing his last glorious sunrise.

"I'm sorry, Iruka." The copy-ninja said. "Forget it, if you can."

And just as Kakashi was about to make the final seal of a memory suppression jutsu with his other hand, Iruka seized it in a fierce grip and yanked, pulling Kakashi down, crushing their mouths together, letting heat and possessive need pass between them, into and through them. Waves of gold pouring into Iruka's heart, a warmth so pure and joyous, filling in voids previously unknown.

He hadn't recognized it for what it was. He hadn't seen it! But it was there, surely it was there, large and vibrant as the sun. And everything made sense now, the strange thoughts and unexplainable desires fitting together like puzzle pieces.

He loved Kakashi with so much unknown power.

The kiss slowed at the end, finished gently, tenderly. Iruka drew back slowly, waiting for Kakashi to open his eyes. And he smiled bashfully as he watched the sadness melt, the surprise take its place, and most of all, watched a piercing ray of hope shine through Kakashi's eyes.

"That didn't feel like a mistake to me." Iruka said quietly, smiling.

He meant to say more, to be somehow formal about all this, but Kakashi was not a ceremonial person, and between the smiles and being crushed so close and another hungry kiss….Iruka grew too distracted to formulate coherent sentences.

When the two jounin were gone, Naruto finally freed himself and fell to the forest floor. He did not crow with triumph, curse the tree or even check the size of the hole in his pants.

He just sat where he'd landed, staring at the grass before him, silently exploring the foreign but not unpleasant throbbing in his heart.

What had he just seen?

It wasn't like he'd never seen amorous advances before. Hell, the ero-sennin was one of his mentors, the man made his living off of such things, right?

But this one was….different.

Was it because it was between two people so important and vital to Naruto's daily life? He examined this fresh thought carefully. Of course such a thing would made some kind of impression on him, right? It was perfectly normal for him to feel a bit strange about it.

But not like this.

All right, so this funny feeling wouldn't go away. Yes, time to face the music. Men. Two men. Albeit Iruka-sensei could do no wrong as far as Naruto was concerned, and Kakashi-sensei did whatever the hell he liked, but it was still….not normal. So yes, the funny feeling could be defined as discomfort.

Right?

The small, annoying voice inside Naruto said no.

Then what WAS IT?!

You want to feel that way, the voice said.

UGH, NO! Naruto shook his head vigorously. ONLY SISSIES DO STUFF LIKE THAT!

Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei aren't sissies, the voice said smugly.

………………

DAMN YOU, VOICE IN MY HEAD! SHUT THE HELL UP!! Naruto screamed mentally.

But he let the thought simmer, allowed himself to muse over it. Was that what was impacting him so much? That aura that had been almost palpable between the two jounin, such an intimate, sacred force, something that both demanded and gave at the same time…that funny thing people called "love."

Did he want that? Not a family type of love, the kind that Iruka-sensei and Sakura-chan gave him, but a possessive soul-sharing kind, that "special" kind?

He tentatively imagined what it would be like to have such a relationship. Something that made him feel warm inside, happy and whole, and at the same time empty, hungry, needing to satisfy forbidden desires, seeking deep blue colors and blood-red eyes—

What? WHAT? WHOAH THERE. Naruto's eyes opened wide. What the…

After a moment of shock, he commenced shut-down on all thought processes. He was obviously having way too many strange, results-of-having-butt-exposed-to-open-air thoughts.

But like a swimmer getting adjusted to cold water, he ventured to re-open his mind— just a bit— to the strange subject that had flashed involuntarily through his brain…a black-haired Sharingan user…

And suddenly the crack was ripped asunder as too many memories came flooding through—a husky voice telling him not to die—the same voice telling him to rest, his fight was done—a body curled up in a coffin—late nights of training, sweat, tears—eyes like blood filled with black fire—

Naruto broke out of the spiral of thought, breathing hard. He was trembling on the brink of some great epiphany, something that didn't make a lot of sense to him and was too disturbing to even imagine.

There's something wrong with me, he thought.

And he leapt off into the night, holding the back of his pants with one hand.

* * * * * * * * * *

There were just friends, Naruto had always told himself after that night. He and Sasuke were buddies. Well, maybe not buddies, more like…teammates…..or no…

No. There were more than that, they'd gone through too much together to simply call it that. They were friends.

So then…friends liked each other a lot, right? Right. And Naruto liked Sasuke, for all his cold-bastard behavior. They'd spent a lot of time together, so such feelings were perfectly normal too.

But after that night…after catching the scent of something so sweet and precious…Naruto found himself wondering what had happened to his understanding of Sasuke's importance to him, why the feeling seemed to be mutating before his very eyes, influencing his thoughts and dreams and desires—desires?! No, no no no no!!! Sasuke was just a friend, for crying out loud, their relationship did not involve anymore complicated than that.

So then why did it hurt that much when Sasuke pulled shit on him now? He'd done it countless times before, and Naruto had been able to deal with it back then…but lately it had begun to feel exponentially more awful with each incident.

Why?

Screw it. He wouldn't think about it. He would just label it as something-wrong-with-me-I'll-get-over-it-later and move on.

But deep in his heart, he knew an answer would have to come soon. Either he'd go mad first, or something really huge and most likely out of control would occur.

He didn't think he was ready for something like that.

* * * * * * * * * *

Done. Thanks for hanging in there, now we shall have action! Interaction! Confrontation and some…popcorn….I am hungry.

Thanks for reading, please review!