I Wished For You.

            Disclaimer.  None of the characters found in this novel belong to me.  They are the property of the creators of A Walk To Remember.

A N.  Wanted to thank James Potter's Lily Flower for your review.  Your book was wonderful, and still is, as well.  Also, just wanted to let you all know that my book might be a little slow, as the homework is catching me.  It'll speed up in a couple of months or so.

Summary.  Landon is angry, not at the world, but at God.  Jamie Sullivan Carter was taken from him, and the nightmares haunt him greatly.  When given the chance to change things, how will he handle it, and will he be able to live with his decision, or will it be too much for him?

As promised, here is Chappy two of a Walk To Remember.  Read and enjoy.

CHAPTER TWO.  THE PROPHECY.

Landon sat in the pew just at the back of the church, greeting the members as they entered.  He did not necessarily wish to be here, but knew he must, as it had been one of Jamie's wishes, that he remain a prominent member of her Father's church, even after she went away.  Now he honored that promise, as he sat still, shaking the hands of the members that passed him by, and pasting the smile upon his face, which had grown so hard to maintain.  It had been the same smile he had wore when Jamie and he were together, though before, he had never had to force this smile to cross his face.  It had been present only for her, and now Landon hated God even more, as he thought of how that very smile, would forever be a forced smile, upon his ever-serious face.

Landon shook the hand of the very last member, allowing the placid smile to disappear at last from his face, then he sat still, and waited for the sermon to begin, paying as little attention as he always did, as he was not very interested in what Reverend Sullivan had to say.  He knew the Reverend knew he wasn't paying attention, because every so often, the good Reverend Sullivan would turn to look at him, and a look of pure agony would cross the man's face, as he wondered in vain, why Landon had strayed so far from God's gracious hands.  Landon, who did not seem to care, would look half-dazed throughout the sermon, and when it would finally end, he would at last stand, and leave the church, smiling back in parting to all the members of his beloved Jamie's church.

Caught in his thoughts, Landon drifted the sermon away, then stood, ready to leave, as the good Reverend Sullivan stood, and made his way quickly to the back of the church, where he could stop Landon from leaving.  Landon, who had just gone outside, looked back, and seeing the Reverend walking quickly toward him, Landon stopped, and turned, wondering what his dear Father-In-Law wished to speak to him of.  Very rarely did he stop Landon from leaving his church, and as he chose to do so on that particular day, Landon felt a pang of worry creep through his body, wondering if the good Reverend meant to give him some sort of bad news.

"Landon, I do wish you would become a more active member of this church.  Jamie would have liked it." Reverend Sullivan said, as he reached the man..

"I know she would.  I try, Reverend.  I don't want to lie to people about how angry I am.  Jamie wouldn't like that one, if I did." Landon answered, as he smiled at the Reverend.

"Jamie would hate it even worse, if you were angry with her God." the Reverend said, gently.

"Then tell her God, to stop giving me my nightmares.  Tell her God, to take me, so I can be with my wife." Landon said, glaring up at the bright blue sky overhead.

"Be careful what you wish for, Landon.  God has a way of giving you what you want." Reverend Sullivan said, very seriously.

"Good." Landon said, as he turned, and walked away.

When he had left the Reverend and his church far behind him, Landon slowed his walking pace, and turned into the Central Park, where he could sit and watch the children walk around him.  Here he walked, around and around the courts where the young children would often play, but as there were no children there to play with, Landon found no reason to sit, and thus, walked about the pavement, lost in thought,  It was as he walked around the large square for the seventh time, that Landon looked down, and noticed something shining brightly on the ground beside him.  Reaching down, Landon lifted the silver coin from the ground, and looked at it, his eyes widening at the words he read.

On the one side of the coin, engraved with bright red letters, (the words God Loves you.  As Landon turned the coin to the other side, Landon's eyes widened still further, as he saw a picture of a gold angel, engraved upon the silver coin.  Feeling that this coin was part of the church, and wondering if perhaps one of the members had dropped it by accident, Landon turned, and made his way to the good Reverend's home, where he knocked soundly upon the door, deciding that ringing the bell wouldn't be such a good idea, in case the reverend might be working on next sunday's sermon.

"Well, hello, Landon.  Come inside." the Reverend said, upon answering the door.

"Reverend Sullivan, I can't stay long.  I only meant to bring you back the coin someone dropped in the Park." Landon said, pulling out the coin from his pocket, and handing it to the good Reverend.

"Landon, this coin isn't mine, and I won't take it.  You found it, so it's yours." The reverend said, as he thrust the coin back at Landon.

"Reverend Sullivan, I won't be a full-time member of your church." Landon said, firmly.

"Landon, this coin isn't a coin from my church.  It's a coin from God, and you'll want to keep it." The reverend said, looking at Landon.

"What are you talking about?" Landon asked, becoming slightly frustrated with the good Reverend.

"Landon, have you ever heard about the book of Evelon?" the Reverend asked, seriously.

"Yeah.  You talked about it once in your sermon, back when Jamie was still alive." Landon said, absentmindedly.

"There's a passage in that talks of a prophecy, given to us straight by God." the Reverend said, looking into Landon's face.

"So what?" Landon asked, looking back into the face of the Reverend.

"In that passage, it says that every fifty years, a miracle will be granted to the person who finds the silver coin with God's words engraved in his blood, and the angel engraved in the color of Heaven's streets." Reverend Sullivan said, as he finally dropped the coin into Landon's hands.

"I don't believe that, Reverend Sullivan." Landon said, impatiently.

"Look for yourself, Landon.  I have not seen both sides of that coin.  You saw me look at it.  I am telling the truth." Reverend Sullivan said, looking into the face of Landon.

"If you want me to take it, I will.  Don't tell me stories I don't believe, though." Landon said, as the silver coin burned red upon his hands.

"See, Landon?  See how it burns within your hands?" the Reverend asked, as a look of horror crossed Landon's already pale face.

Quickly, Landon thrust the coin into his pocket, and left the house, calling a quick goodbye to the Reverend as he went, and running as fast as he could go, Landon hurried home, and only slowed his pace, when he reached the steps leading up to the door he had seen so many times.  Once inside the house, Landon sat upon the couch, and thought of what the Reverend had told him, standing every so often, to pace about the house, and when suppertime finally came, Landon made himself a quick sandwich, as he never ate big meals very often any more, since Jamie had gone to Heaven.  Then, when dinner had been finished, and his bath taken, Landon lay upon the bed, knowing in his mind that sleep would not be easy in coming.  Finally, when he had lain up for nearly an hour, sleep finally came, and Landon was once again thrust into nightmares, remembering again and again, how Jamie had looked, that horrible day so long ago, when she had died within his arms, and how the tears then would fall.

Waking from his dream, Landon sat bolt upright, and looked upon the side table, at the clock.  It was just after one in the morning, and Landon knew he would not be sleeping for the rest of the night.  Crawling from his bed, Landon dressed, and walked out the front door, to sit upon his steps, as he always did, when the nightmares came.  Here he allowed the cold pouring rain to fall on his head and body, and tried to remember when the last time he had gone to the cemetery to see Jamie had been.  It had been the week before, and as he had forgotten to go on sunday, Landon stood, and began absently to walk to the cemetery, where he could talk to the one person who had always understood him.

Turning into the cemetery pathways, Landon made his way to Jamie's grave side., and after seating himself beside her grave, he allowed the tears to come at last, and held the stone for support, as he fell into deep, sad sobs.  Jamie's grave seemed so hollow that night, as he cried on and on, and still he held to her headstone, his eyes growing puffy and red with the tears he now cried.  When at last the tears had slowed slightly, Landon sat up, and dusted himself off, not noticing how wet he had become.

"Every night, Jamie!  I dream of it every night, and it doesn't go away.  I hate God, and your father doesn't understand why I do!  Oh, Jamie, our house is so empty without you.  I miss you so much, and I won't ever be able to hold you again!  Jamie, I just wish you were here again, and that we could live our lives together!  I wish we could have grown old together, Jamie, and saw our great-grandchildren!  You told me once that miracles happen, Jamie,  I have yet to see one." Landon said, collapsing back onto her gravestone, as he sobbed helplessly.

overhead, lightning struck, and thunder crashed, sending off a deafening roar that could be heard from miles around,  as the  rain fell upon the ground in  torrents  of water.  Still Landon sat, his eyes wet, and his body trembling from sobs, and when   at last he did stand, he saw a round hole in his pocket, where once the silver coin had been.  Wiping his eyes with the back of his wet hand, Landon made his way home, undressed, and threw his wet clothes into a pile.  Then, having completed this, he climbed into bed, and fell into an exhausted sleep.

It was past dawn when Landon finally awoke, and as he rubbed his eyes, stretching the full length of his bed, the smell of bacon and eggs reached him, and he knew that the housekeeper was present.  Sighing, he crawled out of bed, and made his way down the stairs, where he might have a bite to eat, before heading off to work.  As he entered the kitchen, he spotted the blonde head of his young housekeeper, and smiling, he accepted the plate she offered him, feeling that life could not get much better than this.     "You really ought to go on, Landon.  You're not getting any younger, you know." she said, smiling up at him.

"Well, when I do, I'll let you know.  You know there isn't anyone else for me, besides Jamie." Landon said, as he sat at the dining room.  table, and began to eat.

"Landon, Jamie would have wanted you to move on.  I know she would have.  She was a good woman." the housekeeper answered, seriously.

"I'm so glad everyone else knows what Jamie would have wanted." Landon snapped, his appetite gone.

"Oh, Landon." the housekeeper sighed, as he stood, and left the room.

As Landon made his way to work, he wondered in his mind, just what Jamie would have wanted.  Even now, six years after her death, he wondered again and again what she would have wanted, and his eyes would again mist with tears, though he had never been much for crying.  Jamie had always brought that side of him out, and Landon loved her deeply for that, for he had never felt he could cry, unless Jamie was present of mind.  Now he dried his eyes, and turned up the street that would take him to Mount Still.  Augustine's Hospital Facility, where he spent his days.  He had become the medicle doctor Jamie had been so proud he could become, and he did not regret his days, knowing that he would save at least one life, and thank Jamie for bringing this potential out of him.

Ten minutes before Landon was to go home, the telephone rang, and after listening to the earpiece for a moment, Doctor Fletcher called to Landon, and handed him the telephone, looking perplexed.  Landon, who rarely received calls, listened to the good Reverend questioning him on the coin, and when he could finally remember the silver coin with the two strange engravings, the Reverend was presented with the story of the night before, then Landon hung up with him, and placed his medicle uniforms into his dressing locker, before leaving the hospital for the day.  Just outside, Landon noticed how the rain had began to pour again, and just as he got into his car, a bolt of lightning shot down from the sky, and struck him senseless, as a deafening roar of thunder sounded overhead.

Landon woke a few moments later, and looked up, as the storm ceased, and as the sun broke through, he drove away from the hospital, wondering what had caused the time to fly as it had apparently done, and remembering not, the bolt of lightning that had changed his life forever.

When Landon arrived home, he found a garden growing outside his house, and recognized the telescope in the front yard, as that which had belonged to Jamie during her last days.  He had put the telescope away, and as he saw it, a pang of sadness ripped over his body like a torturous wave, so that Landon had to blink several times, to rid himself of the tears that might have come.  Then, crawling out of the car, Landon saw a swing on his porch, which had not been there that morning, and lying open upon the swing, was the Star book, which had once been Jamie's favorite.  Feeling now that someone meant to torture him with old memories, and becoming angry at this emotion he felt, Landon slammed the door to his car, and entered the house, where he could immediately smell the scent of fried chicken, and hear the music Jamie had long ago loved, playing quietly on the stereo.

"Who's in here?" Landon called, unable to place the amount of anger he felt at that moment, into his voice.

"Landon!" a familiar voice cried, as someone came into the room.

No sound came from Landon's open mouth, as he stared at the woman who now stood before him.  He could not pry his eyes from her, nor could he move any of the bones in his body, as he looked at the woman.  She was unmistakably Jamie Sullivan Carter's identical twin, for every part of her, from the top of her head, to the red sweater she wore, and on down to her white shoes, looked exactly as Jamie did.  As he stared at her, he could not bring himself to move, nor to inquire the name of this woman, and how she dared to disguise herself as Jamie looked.  Even the perfume and earrings she wore, was that of Jamie, and Landon felt his heart stop beating, wondering why it had to be him, and not some other Man on the street.

"Landon, don't look at me like that." The girl said, looking into his eyes.

"Jamie?" Landon asked, finding that it was her name alone, that would find voice.

"Landon, it's me.  Please, don't look at me like I'm some kind of stranger?  I can't handle that." the girl said, as she crossed the room, and stood just in front of him.

"No.  God no." Landon mumbled, looking as though he meant to be sick.

"Landon!  Please don't!" the girl cried, as tears came to her eyes.

"You can't look like Jamie.  You just, can't!" Landon cried, blinking back the tears from his eyes.

"Landon!  I am Jamie!  Why are you so angry?" the girl asked, as tears filled her eyes.

"Jamie's dead!" Landon cried, in frustration.

"I am not, Landon!  I'm fine!" the girl cried, her body trembling as she cried.

"Okay.  Say you are Jamie.  What did you say you were most afraid of, when you were sick?" Landon asked, trying to catch his breath.

"I said I was sick with leukemia, and that I had stopped responding when I was sixteen.  I said that I'd accepted it, and then you happened.  Landon, I was afraid of not being with you!" the girl cried, looking as though her heart was torn from her chest.

"Nobody could have known that but Jamie." Landon said, as his head began to spin.

"Don't you get it, Landon?  You wished last night that you could have me back.  You wished it on the coin of Evelon.  Now you have me, and I don't have an ounce of sickness in my body.  It was your faith, and your wish, that brought me back, and changed everyone's lives." the girl said, as tears flowed down the sides of her face.

"Oh, my Jamie!  My beautiful Jamie Sullivan." Landon said, as tears came at last to his eyes.

  "I've missed you, Landon." Jamie said, as she took him into her arms.

The two of them stood, as the minutes passed, and as their tears mingled together, they held fast to each other, never wishing to let go.  It was only when the sun had set, and night had fallen, that the two of them let go, and stood back from one another, looking deep into each other's eyes.  The expressions on their faces were deep and loving, and Landon and Jamie knew there was nothing they would have rather had in the world, than to be in love, and to live their lives together.  As the sky blackened with nighttime darkness, Landon and Jamie made their way into the livingroom, and sat together, reading the star books Jamie had loved so much, just as they used to do.

Being with Jamie again was like a dream to Landon---one that he knew he must wake from soon, and even as they fell to sleep that night, he held tightly to her, feeling that she would disappear when he awoke, and longing to keep her with him, as long as he could, for without her, Landon was not whole.  Even the nightmares that usually came to him were gone, as he slept peacefully, and Jamie, who had remembered what it had been like without Landon, lay awake, watching him sleep, and smiling into his eyes, as he slept peacefully through the night.  She loved him, more than she could have ever loved anyone else, and it was as though she were in a second heaven, for she had wished to God these past six years, that she should not have to leave him.

  *in.

There you have it, folks.  A happy chappy for Landon and Jamie.  The reading doesn't end there, though.  I have so much more, and just to keep you on your toes, here's a Chappy spoiler for you.

A red fire glowed brightly in the hearth, as Landon sat alone, thinking about what the Reverend had once told him.  It had felt so wonderful to have Jamie back with him, and knowing that she was given another chance at life had given Landon every hope he could have ever desired.  Now he found it hard to believe, however, as the night had passed, and yet, he could not find himself to question what he knew not.

At last, after he'd sat for a long hour beside the fire, an idea came to Landon, and he stood, pulling his clothes on.  He would go from this place, and remain gone for a long while, until he could finally accept what had happened.  Though he had not intended to wish Jamie back, he had, and now he felt guilty, for he was not sure she'd wanted to come back.  What was worse, was that Landon had needed a miracle, just to believe in God, and now that it had been granted him, Landon felt that he had done something so terribly wrong, that he would never be able to change it again.  Sighing, he finished pulling on his clothes, and left the house behind him, not knowing at all, where he meant to go, or what he meant to do.