Poseidon, the Trident of Ankohl, and stuff.
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Rrrring! Rrrrring
The shrill ringing of a telephone pierced the watery silence just outsode of the grand coty of Lemuria. Sighing, a hulking half-man, half- fish lumbered over to the phone, picking it up with a snarl on his face.
"Hello, Poseidon's Fish Market, open till midnight."
A significant pause.
"Midnight. dumbass."
Another pause.
"Yes, I said you were a dumbass. You have a problem with that? Huh? Huh? You wanna know how many boneheads have been asking me what time my store closes? DO YOU?! NO?! Then keep your mouth shut, you whiny scum! And would you like the trout or the bass? Hello? Hello?"
Sighing, Poseidon hung up the phone, before swimming over to his diary. Making a mental note to eat another five Lemurians for dinner later, he began writing in his diary.
'Dear Diary,
It has been another uneventful day. Much like any other, although I did have fun ripping apart a submarine earlier this morning for laughs. I cannot remember it's name, but it was the Naughty. something. I think it was "Naughty Lust." Dumb name, anyhow. Well, what can I say? Nothing ever happens in this lousy place, and I'm starting to wonder if it's worth staying here. It's fun torturing the Lemurians and all, but they don't seem to want to play with me anymore. I wonder why? I just rip out their limbs one by one before popping their bodies into my mouth and chewing them. Nothing harmful at all. Except to them, I suppose. But who cares about others? I'm the only good thing in this desolate, barren place. Even the fish is stringy. But-"
He was cut off as an anchor was dropped squarely on his head, making a lovely resounding clang! Rubbing his slightly sore temple, he looked up, thinking he could hear the distant sound of a fight going on. Shrugging, he began swimming to the surface.
As he broke through the surface of the water, he saw two huge ships locked in combat with each other. This was a rare thing, especially in these choppy waters. What was weirder, however, was that one of the ships appeared to be firing various pieces of cutlery at the other. Blinking, Poseidon decided that this had absolutely nothing to do with him, and swam back into the ocean floor.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"So, you thought you could escape me?! Me, lord of the ocean, the scourge of the seas? You have led me on a merry chase, that is true, but today, ah, today! You shall face my true might, brought down by the heavens themselves! Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!"
The starfish gave no response. Poseidon grumbled to himself as he settled back onto his couch. Danged denizens of the ocean, they gave him no respect nowadays. Ah, well. What was a demigod supposed to do nowadays? Shrugging, he flicked off the light, and went to sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
His sleep was somewhat interrupted by a bunch of skeletons that walked all over him in an attack on a ship anchored nearby. Other than that, there was nothing too eventful. Until morning, that is. He had been awakened by the sound of a ship passing overhead.
Grumbling to himself, Poseidon once again swam to the surface, prepared to chew out whoever it was that was commandeering the ship. And maybe splatter their brains over the deck. That was fun to do.
The first thing he saw on the huge ship, however, was a pair of people standing on the bow. One man and woman.
"Jack, I'm flying! I'm fly-"
Splutch!
Poseidon smirked to himself as the aim from his trident proved true, spearing both the guy and and the girl in one clean throw. Grinning with satisfaction, he watched the trident fly in a long, slow arc before landing back in the water with a loud splash. After swimming down to retrieve it, he noted that the ship was still making a lot of sound.
Growling to himself, he cast Glacier several times to create a huge iceberg, and pushed it in the general direction of the ship. A few minutes later, he was rewarded with a loud screech!
Swimming back to his house, Poseidon settled back into bed for a long, long nap.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It was around July when it happened. He had just been minding his own business, you know, the usual stuff, like spearing five Lemurians with a single thrust of his weapon, when they showed up.
In teams. They always came in teams. And they always claimed they were the good guys. Saving the world. Hah! They were the evil ones. The ones that killed the good guy like him, slowly bleeding him of life. Once all the defenders of freedom like him were dead, then! Ah, then they would make their strike, and cover all the world in shadow. He had to stop it now.
Lifting his trident, Poseidon aimed it at them. With a snarl, he indicated that they should leave. They didn't comply. With a mental shrug, Poseidon decided to make the situation a lot more clear to them.
"I am NOT paying taxes again this year!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Another typical day in the ocean. Poseidon was bored. What he needed was a good punch-up. A fight. The Lemurians were pathetic. It would be a miracle if one of them got off a Frost spell before he impaled them. Not that it would have done much good against his Force Field anyway. Floating languidly to the surface, he glanced around bored. Yup, absolutely nothing around h-
Wait, was that a ship? Yes, it was! With four people on it. All of them looking decently strong. Yes, this might be fun. Swimming over, he splashed out of the ocean with a roar, raising his trident over his head.
However, before he could attack, a young blonde girl had already blasted him with a barrage of lightning. Others might have flinched under the pain, but the Force Field around Poseidon dissipated the attack before it could do any harm.
"Fool!" He laughed. "You cannot hope to challenge me!"
"No?" A dark-haired boy smirked.
"You dare mock me?" Poseidon growled. Raising his trident, he stabbed it straight at the boy, vaguely aware of the boy raising some other weapon, pointing it at him, and-
A blast of purple light, and the force field around Poseidon disappeared, among with a jolt of pain, that ran up his shoulder. His eyes widened as he stared at the shining weapon in the boy's hand. It couldn't be, it just couldn't.
"That trident was broken!" He cried.
The boy's eyes narrowed as another blast flew from it into Poseidon's body, causing him to roar in pain. "It has been remade."
"But-" The Sea God's face contorted into a snarl as he mentally reviewed his current status. "I destroyed it! I took it to the Cracks of Mt. Aleph, the one place where it could be destroyed! I cast it into the fire! It cannot still exist!"
A red-haired girl stepped forward, flinging a fireball at him. With the Force Field gone, the attacks now hurt. A lot. "Next time you destroy something, try not to choose things that can be easily reforged by some old coot standing around a hole."
The Sea God glanced around worriedly as the four warriors surrounded him. All of them beginning to glow with psynegetical attacks of their respective elements. And one thought entered his mind.
Shit.
