Chapter 5: Brad, Out On a Limb
"OH SHIT!" Brad fell to the ground. The group jumped out of the car and ran toward him. Brad rolled over and his eyes began to dilate. Schu and Nagi both looked at each other; they didn't know what to do. Ran came over and looked at Brad.
"Damn. Quick, Nagi, call the hospital, Schu let's go," Schu and Ran got into the car and started the engine. Schu pulled his foot off of the brake and put it over the gas.
"Hey! What about me?" Brad called from the ground. Ran got out and ran over and helped Brad to the car. "I can't believe you were going to go to the hospital for me. WITHOUT ME! Ouch."
Schu put his foot on the accelerator and they left as fast as their car could go. Schu looked over at Brad with a worried expression. "What's the matter?" he asked.
Brad looked up and said, "my shoulder. it-"
"He still has the bullet in his chest, there is a possibility it hit his lungs. Although, there could have been other things. if we don't hurry, he WILL die." Ran remained silent after saying this for the rest of the trip, Schu stared into the sky at the sound of those words. "He WILL die." The words played over and over in his head. He looked constantly back at Brad during the trip.
He pulled into the hospital parking lot and they carried him into the waiting room. Schu ran to the front desk pushing over a small child and an old man clutching his chest. And slammed his fists on the desk at which the woman sat. "This man has been shot, I want the bullet removed now."
"I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time," she said gleefully.
Schu looked down at the woman; "I want him in there now."
"I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time," she said gleefully.
Schu began to glare at the woman, "check the damn computer again," he said in the most forced calm voice he had.
She looked down at her computer for a split second, "I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time," she said gleefully.
"You listen to me, I want him in there right now, and I want a security guard, so I can get a gun to shoot you," Schu said irritably.
The woman scooted back in her chair, she began to stare at Schu, "I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time," she said with a forced smile.
"DOCTOR! NOW!"
"I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time," she said still smiling.
"All right you little bitch," Schu said quietly, grinding his teeth, "I want to look at your damn computer right this damn minute. I also want a damn doctor, so I can talk to him about my damn friend all I damn please. You are going to get me these damn things right now damn it, and if you don't, I will blow your damn head off. He has been shot in the damn chest. He needs care damn it!"
The woman stared at Schu with great disbelief. Her face began to turn red. She lowered her head and began to sob into her knees. Then from behind, Schu was grabbed by the arms and carried out by security guards. As he was being pulled away, he saw the woman sit straight up with a smile on her face, mouth the word, "Prick." And he was pulled into another room.
Ran looked around to try and spot Schu. But there was no Schu in sight. He began to become worried. So he walked up to the woman. "Um, excuse me ma'am, I-"
"I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time," she said gleefully.
"No, I would like to know if you saw an orange hared man come through here."
At that moment a door at the other end of the waiting room flung open. Schu ran out of the room and over to Ran. "Quick, I tied them up and gagged them. Get us into the emergency room so we can get Brad all better," Schu said breathing heavily.
"You tied them up and GAGGED them?" Ran exclaimed
"Yeah? Why?" Schu asked.
"Schu, you are an idiot." Ran looked back at the woman and gave her a smile, "is there any way we can speed this along?"
"I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time," she said gleefully yet again.
"Okay, listen, this man will die in approximately twenty minutes, if you don't get us in there."
"Tokyo Medical is not responsible for deaths when not under the direct care of a Tokyo Medical official employee," the woman said with a grin on her face.
"KNOCK IT OFF! GET ME A DAMNED DOCTOR!"
The woman stood in shock at Ran's yells. "Uhhhh." she stuttered, "I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time."
A man in a lab coat entered the room and looked around. He noticed the man holding his right arm in his left hand. And told him to get up and come with him. Schu saw that he had chosen somebody other than Brad. He dove for the man who took Brad's place and knocked his arm flying into the air.
Schu stood up quickly and motioned for Ran and Brad to come where the doctor seemed to be leading. They went into a room labeled 617. The doctor left as Brad, Ran and Schu all got situated. A nurse came into the room and told Brad to strip. Ran and a slightly hesitant Schu left the room.
"So, you think he'll be all right?" Schu asked repeatedly.
"Yes, he'll be fine, now shut up Schu?" was the constant answer from Ran.
The nurse returned with a rather large syringe in her hand. She put it on the table. "What's that for?" Brad asked with a slight sound of fear in his voice.
"Oh, just in case," she said with a smile.
"Um. okay?" Brad said, "when is this going to happen?" the woman looked at him with confusion. "What?"
"I'm just trying to figure you out sir," she said staring at him with an expression that clearly read, "Weirdo." She was walking out of the door, when she turned and looked at him again. "Why do you want this done?"
"It has to happen," Brad said, "I might die if it doesn't."
"Riiiiiiiiiight."
A doctor came past, with a cart with a sheet draped over it. Schu looked at it with great fear. "Oh my God, he's died, they're gonna carry him out on that cart right now! NOOOOOOOO! WHY! WHY! WHY!"
"No, no, this isn't for him, Mr. Johnson is just fine, he'll be back to normal in a few weeks," the doctor said with a grin.
Ran and Schu looked at each other with confused looks. They turned to the door, and thought for a second. They could hear the woman saying, "just breathe in and out sir, the gas will knock you out long enough to attach it."
***Schu flashback*** A man in a lab coat entered the room and looked around. He noticed the man holding his right arm in his left hand. And told him to get up and come with him. Schu saw that he had chosen somebody other than Brad. He dove for the man who took Brad's place and knocked his arm flying into the air. ***Schu flash forward***
Schu looked at Ran, "this isn't right. OH MY GOD! THE MAN WITH ONE ARM! THIS IS HIS SURGERY ROOM! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Schu rammed his shoulder into the door. It did not move. He backed up and rammed the door again. It still did not move.
Brad opened his eyes, looking around he could see a group of doctors and nurses handing items to perform some sort of surgery.
"Sponge," A voice said. "Measure," It said. "Sharpie," it said soon after, "Arm." Brad's eyes went wide open. He sat straight up and ripped off his medical attachments. Looking around the room he saw all of the doctors standing in shock. One doctor was holding an arm in his hand.
Brad looked at all of them with great confusion, "what the hell is going on?" he asked. "Why are you holding an arm? Who are you people!"
"Mr. Johnson, I don't know how you woke up from the gas so early, but you need to calm down. All we have to do is attach the arm and every body will be happy and you can go home," a nurse said picking up the large syringe from before.
"ATTACH MY ARM? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" Brad looked down to see if both of his arms were still in tact, they were hanging happily from his shoulder. Brad let out a sigh, "So, why are you attaching an arm to me?"
"You requested it!" one of the doctors said. They began to argue whether or not Brad had requested the surgery or not. It seemed to go on for twenty minutes.
Meanwhile, Schu was still trying to break the door down. His shoulders were now very badly bruised. He gave up on ramming his shoulder and proceeded to pound on the door with his fists. After his hands became bloody he went to kick the door. He hit his foot on a chair and badly stubbed his toe. He looked to Ran, "Help me out here man! Brad's gonna come out with a third arm!" Schu picked up a chair, and looked at Ran. "Either help me take the door down or get out of the way."
Ran moved to the side of the door. Schu took three deep breaths and then began to run towards the door with his badly bruised shoulder, stubbed toe, and his bloody hands. He ran forward at the door with mush speed. Ran opened the door and Schu tripped and fell into the unlocked room. The chair was flung into the air and landed on one of the doctors, causing him to run into a nurse, who fell onto a cabinet screaming loudly. Which caused another doctor to quickly turn to see what was wrong. In the process he hit the table containing a syringe. The syringe flew into the air, and landed in Schu's arm. Schu fell fast asleep.
Brad picked up Schu and carried him out to Ran, "Wrong room," he said as he walked tiredly to the doctor at the end of the hall. They reached the doctor. "Listen, I've been shot. I need this bullet removed.and I don't want another arm."
"Okay, come with me," the doctor said. "Why would I give you a new arm?"
"Don't ask.ugh." Brad said.
After an hour, Schu woke up in the waiting room. He got up and looked at Ran, "What happened? Where's Brad? Is he all right? Can we go home? Why aren't you speaking?"
"Brad is talking to the doctor right now," Ran said, "now sit down and shut up."
Schu began to pace the room.
Brad came into the room with the doctor carrying a large amount of papers, he handed them to Schu, "Schu, I need your help filling these out, Schu, help me out here."
"All right, all right, give me some of those," Schu said, "okay, question one: mother's maiden name?"
"Schneizel," Brad said.
"Street originally lived on?" Schu asked.
"Gondola," Brad said, then added, "Stupid Bako."
"First dog's name?" Schu asked tediously.
"Ken-Ken," Brad said with a sigh.
"Weight in milligrams on Mars?" Schu continued down the list.
"Oh, hmmm. oh yeah! Eight hundred twenty seven thousand, three hundred ninety two."
"Okay, have you ever disowned your brothers wife's, aunt's nephew on her husbands side due to the fact that he had recently gotten chicKen pocks on twenty seventh street?"
"No, it was my uncles, wife's father's daughter in-law."
This questioning went on for about three hours, until the last question came for Schu to ask Brad, "All right, finally, the final question: have you. ever ran around the baseball field in Anaheim while wearing a pink hat and galoshes, singing the theme from "Shaft" while slapping the sides of the building, after recently telling your wife you had had an affair with her brother's cat, which originally belonged to a relative you had previously disowned from your mother's grandmother's side of the family due to his inability to look at your scar on your left knee."
"Ummm. well, actually, yeah. No, wait. No, I haven't, not wearing a pink hat, it was rainbow colored." Brad said with a dramatic chuckle.
Brad and Schu walked up to the desk, holding the stacks of paper in their hands, struggling to keep them from falling. Schu looked down to the secretary to see if they could go yet. She looked up at him with a smile. Schu was grabbed from behind again and pulled into a room. She smiled with the same evil smile she had earlier.
Ran and Brad asked the doctor and he said their leaving was fully authorized. They walked out to the car and waited for Schu a loud siren began to sound from inside the hospital. Schu ran out and jumped into the car. "GET IN!" he screamed as he started the engine, "NOW!" they got in and drove home faster than they had ever seen the car go.
Ran opened the door to find Kotori and Nagi talking on the couch, and Ken, Yuriko and Farf all sitting at the table playing cards. Colonel Mustard and Professor Plum sipped their tea at the kitchen counter. Colonel Mustard looked up and saw Ran walk in, "Oh good to see you old chap! How's tricks?"
Ran looked at Colonel Mustard with an arched eyebrow, "who the hell is tricks?"
"How are you? How's things? How have you been? You know, all the what what," the colonel said with a grin.
"Riiiiiiiiight.yeah," Ran said looking confusedly at the two of them, he then directed his attention to Nagi and Kotori, "you two seem to be having a fun time. are you?"
Nagi looked up at Ran, "Oh yes, we're having a marvelous time, thank you. Could you leave us alone for a little while longer?"
"Whatever," Ran got up and walked over to Farf and Ken. Ken was looking into Yuriko's eyes talking to her as though they were best friends, while Farfarello sat and looked at her cleavage. Although it was unnoticed by Yuriko, Ran slapped Farf in the back of the head. Farf fell directly into Yuriko's breasts. She screamed and pushed him back. He fell onto the floor and slid a few feet. She began to huff.
Brad and Schu walked into the room; Brad went over and sat down on the nearest seat. Schu went over to Ran, "We've got to go to Longs, Brad needs his prescription."
"Okay, Nagi, Farf, Ken, you come with us. Kotori, you stay," Ran began, he then pointed to Colonel Mustard, "Mustard, you hold the fort."
"Actually, it's Sir Graham Cracker, but righteo good sir!"
Ran and Schu walked out the door. Ken stopped to hold it for Brad, Nagi, and Farf. Ken then closed the door and went outside to the car.
"OH SHIT!" Brad fell to the ground. The group jumped out of the car and ran toward him. Brad rolled over and his eyes began to dilate. Schu and Nagi both looked at each other; they didn't know what to do. Ran came over and looked at Brad.
"Damn. Quick, Nagi, call the hospital, Schu let's go," Schu and Ran got into the car and started the engine. Schu pulled his foot off of the brake and put it over the gas.
"Hey! What about me?" Brad called from the ground. Ran got out and ran over and helped Brad to the car. "I can't believe you were going to go to the hospital for me. WITHOUT ME! Ouch."
Schu put his foot on the accelerator and they left as fast as their car could go. Schu looked over at Brad with a worried expression. "What's the matter?" he asked.
Brad looked up and said, "my shoulder. it-"
"He still has the bullet in his chest, there is a possibility it hit his lungs. Although, there could have been other things. if we don't hurry, he WILL die." Ran remained silent after saying this for the rest of the trip, Schu stared into the sky at the sound of those words. "He WILL die." The words played over and over in his head. He looked constantly back at Brad during the trip.
He pulled into the hospital parking lot and they carried him into the waiting room. Schu ran to the front desk pushing over a small child and an old man clutching his chest. And slammed his fists on the desk at which the woman sat. "This man has been shot, I want the bullet removed now."
"I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time," she said gleefully.
Schu looked down at the woman; "I want him in there now."
"I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time," she said gleefully.
Schu began to glare at the woman, "check the damn computer again," he said in the most forced calm voice he had.
She looked down at her computer for a split second, "I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time," she said gleefully.
"You listen to me, I want him in there right now, and I want a security guard, so I can get a gun to shoot you," Schu said irritably.
The woman scooted back in her chair, she began to stare at Schu, "I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time," she said with a forced smile.
"DOCTOR! NOW!"
"I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time," she said still smiling.
"All right you little bitch," Schu said quietly, grinding his teeth, "I want to look at your damn computer right this damn minute. I also want a damn doctor, so I can talk to him about my damn friend all I damn please. You are going to get me these damn things right now damn it, and if you don't, I will blow your damn head off. He has been shot in the damn chest. He needs care damn it!"
The woman stared at Schu with great disbelief. Her face began to turn red. She lowered her head and began to sob into her knees. Then from behind, Schu was grabbed by the arms and carried out by security guards. As he was being pulled away, he saw the woman sit straight up with a smile on her face, mouth the word, "Prick." And he was pulled into another room.
Ran looked around to try and spot Schu. But there was no Schu in sight. He began to become worried. So he walked up to the woman. "Um, excuse me ma'am, I-"
"I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time," she said gleefully.
"No, I would like to know if you saw an orange hared man come through here."
At that moment a door at the other end of the waiting room flung open. Schu ran out of the room and over to Ran. "Quick, I tied them up and gagged them. Get us into the emergency room so we can get Brad all better," Schu said breathing heavily.
"You tied them up and GAGGED them?" Ran exclaimed
"Yeah? Why?" Schu asked.
"Schu, you are an idiot." Ran looked back at the woman and gave her a smile, "is there any way we can speed this along?"
"I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time," she said gleefully yet again.
"Okay, listen, this man will die in approximately twenty minutes, if you don't get us in there."
"Tokyo Medical is not responsible for deaths when not under the direct care of a Tokyo Medical official employee," the woman said with a grin on her face.
"KNOCK IT OFF! GET ME A DAMNED DOCTOR!"
The woman stood in shock at Ran's yells. "Uhhhh." she stuttered, "I'm sorry sir, but there is an hour and a half waiting time."
A man in a lab coat entered the room and looked around. He noticed the man holding his right arm in his left hand. And told him to get up and come with him. Schu saw that he had chosen somebody other than Brad. He dove for the man who took Brad's place and knocked his arm flying into the air.
Schu stood up quickly and motioned for Ran and Brad to come where the doctor seemed to be leading. They went into a room labeled 617. The doctor left as Brad, Ran and Schu all got situated. A nurse came into the room and told Brad to strip. Ran and a slightly hesitant Schu left the room.
"So, you think he'll be all right?" Schu asked repeatedly.
"Yes, he'll be fine, now shut up Schu?" was the constant answer from Ran.
The nurse returned with a rather large syringe in her hand. She put it on the table. "What's that for?" Brad asked with a slight sound of fear in his voice.
"Oh, just in case," she said with a smile.
"Um. okay?" Brad said, "when is this going to happen?" the woman looked at him with confusion. "What?"
"I'm just trying to figure you out sir," she said staring at him with an expression that clearly read, "Weirdo." She was walking out of the door, when she turned and looked at him again. "Why do you want this done?"
"It has to happen," Brad said, "I might die if it doesn't."
"Riiiiiiiiiight."
A doctor came past, with a cart with a sheet draped over it. Schu looked at it with great fear. "Oh my God, he's died, they're gonna carry him out on that cart right now! NOOOOOOOO! WHY! WHY! WHY!"
"No, no, this isn't for him, Mr. Johnson is just fine, he'll be back to normal in a few weeks," the doctor said with a grin.
Ran and Schu looked at each other with confused looks. They turned to the door, and thought for a second. They could hear the woman saying, "just breathe in and out sir, the gas will knock you out long enough to attach it."
***Schu flashback*** A man in a lab coat entered the room and looked around. He noticed the man holding his right arm in his left hand. And told him to get up and come with him. Schu saw that he had chosen somebody other than Brad. He dove for the man who took Brad's place and knocked his arm flying into the air. ***Schu flash forward***
Schu looked at Ran, "this isn't right. OH MY GOD! THE MAN WITH ONE ARM! THIS IS HIS SURGERY ROOM! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Schu rammed his shoulder into the door. It did not move. He backed up and rammed the door again. It still did not move.
Brad opened his eyes, looking around he could see a group of doctors and nurses handing items to perform some sort of surgery.
"Sponge," A voice said. "Measure," It said. "Sharpie," it said soon after, "Arm." Brad's eyes went wide open. He sat straight up and ripped off his medical attachments. Looking around the room he saw all of the doctors standing in shock. One doctor was holding an arm in his hand.
Brad looked at all of them with great confusion, "what the hell is going on?" he asked. "Why are you holding an arm? Who are you people!"
"Mr. Johnson, I don't know how you woke up from the gas so early, but you need to calm down. All we have to do is attach the arm and every body will be happy and you can go home," a nurse said picking up the large syringe from before.
"ATTACH MY ARM? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" Brad looked down to see if both of his arms were still in tact, they were hanging happily from his shoulder. Brad let out a sigh, "So, why are you attaching an arm to me?"
"You requested it!" one of the doctors said. They began to argue whether or not Brad had requested the surgery or not. It seemed to go on for twenty minutes.
Meanwhile, Schu was still trying to break the door down. His shoulders were now very badly bruised. He gave up on ramming his shoulder and proceeded to pound on the door with his fists. After his hands became bloody he went to kick the door. He hit his foot on a chair and badly stubbed his toe. He looked to Ran, "Help me out here man! Brad's gonna come out with a third arm!" Schu picked up a chair, and looked at Ran. "Either help me take the door down or get out of the way."
Ran moved to the side of the door. Schu took three deep breaths and then began to run towards the door with his badly bruised shoulder, stubbed toe, and his bloody hands. He ran forward at the door with mush speed. Ran opened the door and Schu tripped and fell into the unlocked room. The chair was flung into the air and landed on one of the doctors, causing him to run into a nurse, who fell onto a cabinet screaming loudly. Which caused another doctor to quickly turn to see what was wrong. In the process he hit the table containing a syringe. The syringe flew into the air, and landed in Schu's arm. Schu fell fast asleep.
Brad picked up Schu and carried him out to Ran, "Wrong room," he said as he walked tiredly to the doctor at the end of the hall. They reached the doctor. "Listen, I've been shot. I need this bullet removed.and I don't want another arm."
"Okay, come with me," the doctor said. "Why would I give you a new arm?"
"Don't ask.ugh." Brad said.
After an hour, Schu woke up in the waiting room. He got up and looked at Ran, "What happened? Where's Brad? Is he all right? Can we go home? Why aren't you speaking?"
"Brad is talking to the doctor right now," Ran said, "now sit down and shut up."
Schu began to pace the room.
Brad came into the room with the doctor carrying a large amount of papers, he handed them to Schu, "Schu, I need your help filling these out, Schu, help me out here."
"All right, all right, give me some of those," Schu said, "okay, question one: mother's maiden name?"
"Schneizel," Brad said.
"Street originally lived on?" Schu asked.
"Gondola," Brad said, then added, "Stupid Bako."
"First dog's name?" Schu asked tediously.
"Ken-Ken," Brad said with a sigh.
"Weight in milligrams on Mars?" Schu continued down the list.
"Oh, hmmm. oh yeah! Eight hundred twenty seven thousand, three hundred ninety two."
"Okay, have you ever disowned your brothers wife's, aunt's nephew on her husbands side due to the fact that he had recently gotten chicKen pocks on twenty seventh street?"
"No, it was my uncles, wife's father's daughter in-law."
This questioning went on for about three hours, until the last question came for Schu to ask Brad, "All right, finally, the final question: have you. ever ran around the baseball field in Anaheim while wearing a pink hat and galoshes, singing the theme from "Shaft" while slapping the sides of the building, after recently telling your wife you had had an affair with her brother's cat, which originally belonged to a relative you had previously disowned from your mother's grandmother's side of the family due to his inability to look at your scar on your left knee."
"Ummm. well, actually, yeah. No, wait. No, I haven't, not wearing a pink hat, it was rainbow colored." Brad said with a dramatic chuckle.
Brad and Schu walked up to the desk, holding the stacks of paper in their hands, struggling to keep them from falling. Schu looked down to the secretary to see if they could go yet. She looked up at him with a smile. Schu was grabbed from behind again and pulled into a room. She smiled with the same evil smile she had earlier.
Ran and Brad asked the doctor and he said their leaving was fully authorized. They walked out to the car and waited for Schu a loud siren began to sound from inside the hospital. Schu ran out and jumped into the car. "GET IN!" he screamed as he started the engine, "NOW!" they got in and drove home faster than they had ever seen the car go.
Ran opened the door to find Kotori and Nagi talking on the couch, and Ken, Yuriko and Farf all sitting at the table playing cards. Colonel Mustard and Professor Plum sipped their tea at the kitchen counter. Colonel Mustard looked up and saw Ran walk in, "Oh good to see you old chap! How's tricks?"
Ran looked at Colonel Mustard with an arched eyebrow, "who the hell is tricks?"
"How are you? How's things? How have you been? You know, all the what what," the colonel said with a grin.
"Riiiiiiiiight.yeah," Ran said looking confusedly at the two of them, he then directed his attention to Nagi and Kotori, "you two seem to be having a fun time. are you?"
Nagi looked up at Ran, "Oh yes, we're having a marvelous time, thank you. Could you leave us alone for a little while longer?"
"Whatever," Ran got up and walked over to Farf and Ken. Ken was looking into Yuriko's eyes talking to her as though they were best friends, while Farfarello sat and looked at her cleavage. Although it was unnoticed by Yuriko, Ran slapped Farf in the back of the head. Farf fell directly into Yuriko's breasts. She screamed and pushed him back. He fell onto the floor and slid a few feet. She began to huff.
Brad and Schu walked into the room; Brad went over and sat down on the nearest seat. Schu went over to Ran, "We've got to go to Longs, Brad needs his prescription."
"Okay, Nagi, Farf, Ken, you come with us. Kotori, you stay," Ran began, he then pointed to Colonel Mustard, "Mustard, you hold the fort."
"Actually, it's Sir Graham Cracker, but righteo good sir!"
Ran and Schu walked out the door. Ken stopped to hold it for Brad, Nagi, and Farf. Ken then closed the door and went outside to the car.
