Disclaimer: Sorry Everyone! I've been dead busy and things have been a little hard around my house! But, that's really no excuse, so, I shall now update with a half assed chapter that has ramblings, cars, pencils, Ralphs grocery store strikers, and a very, very, VERY, crazy Snape.

Scene 15:

Take one:

Me: Action!

Harry: My dad didn't strut!

Snape: *smirks*

Harry: And neither do I!

Snape: *stops smirking* Wait. What's a strut?

All: *groan*

Ron: *raises his hand*

Harry: *looks hungry*

Snape: Yes Ronald?

Lupin: *whistles*

Ron: I'll show you! *gets up*

Harry: *snorts*

Ron: *walks like an Egyptian*

Harry: *eats Lupin's shirt*

Hermione: NO! It's not like that! *gets up*

Lupin: *swats Harry in the head*

Hermione: *walks like a super model*

Alphonso: Hey! If there's anyone in this room that should know about strutting and sexual contact, it's me! *gets up*

Harry: *goes for Lupin's pant leg*

Alphonso: *walks with his head held high and winks.*

Lupin: *swats Harry again and growls.*

Snape: Im so lost, won't someone know how to strut?! *covers face dramatically*

Voice: I know how to strut!!

All: *looks at the mysterious person in the shadows*

Mysterious person: Shall I try?

Ron: Are you ego-theistical, monomaniacal, arrogant, and so completely sure of your self that you could jump off a fifty foot building and know that you will in fact survive because of your amazing powerfulness and extreme element control?

Mysterious voice: um..no?

Ron: You are the weakest link, goodbye!

Harry: *stops gnawing on Lupin's leg* Ron, *pauses* Shut the fuck up!

Ron: Oh yah! Your mom!

Harry: No your mom!

Ron: Oh yah! Your momma was so fat, she heard it was chilli outside and she went and got a bowl.

All: ooooo!

Snape: that's sooo original.

Harry: yah, and besides, my mom was Irish.

Ron: Then maybe I should be making "Your momma was so drunk jokes*

Snape:*drums* bu du ba!

Harry: Oh now you starting' it! *gets up*

Ron: Bring it on! *goes closer*

Harry: Oh I've broughten it! *moves head*

Ron: So bring it already! *raises fists.*

Harry: consider it broughten! *moves toward them*

Snape: *gasps*

All: *gasp*

Harry: what?

Snape: Harry, Ron, will you walk closer, one more time? *looks excited*

Harry and Ron: *move closer*

Ron: *smiles*

All: Yay!

Snape: You two just did a strut!

All: Yay!

Harry: *shrugs and goes over to Lupin*

Ron: Oh wow. Now it just goes to show that we were both arrogant bastards all along!

All: Yay!

Lupin: *beats Harry with a stick*

Me: Cut!

Scene 5:

Take one:

The Night Bus: *grumble grumble*

Harry: Oh my gosh a double decker bus!

Stan: Yes you dumb shit. A double decker bus.

Harry: Well you're a bundle of laughs. *scowls*

Stan: Actually, it isn't a double decker bus.

Harry: It's not? *looks shocked*

Stan: oh no, Your having drug hallucinations! *waves hands around*

Harry: I am?

Stan: Yes! Drug hallucinations!

Harry: Drug hallucinations?

Stan: Drug hallucinations!

Harry: I never knew! *eyes widen*

Stan: And all this magic stuff! It's all in your mind. *makes loco finger twirl*

Harry: wow. And to think, I actually thought I was special!

Stan: Oh but you are special! See? that's your bus over there! *points to the little yellow bus*

Harry: Wow.

Alphonso: Hey. this isn't right!

Stan: Yes, but doesn't it seem more dramatic this way?

All: *nod*

Harry: *sobs* My own little bus!

Me: *drives the bus away, laughing madly*

Harry: *runs after his bus* *falls*

Me: haha! Cut! *runs over the fallen Harry*

All: Yay!

Take two:

Me: action! *stirs potion*

Harry: *falls over*

Bus: *grumble poo*

Sirius: bark! bark!

Stan: Oy! No dogs aloud on the Night Bus!

Harry: he's no dog, I mean, he's not my dog!

Alphonso: *whispers* smooth!

Harry: He's a nice dog, yes, snuffles! *pats dog*

Sirius: *tries to eat my potion*

Alphonso: No! I mean, *whispers* Not that name, bad name!

Harry: Oh dear. Um, well Sirius isn't my dog you see..

Me: *throws the ladle at Sirius*

Alphonso: No! You nincompoop!

Stan: man, you are slow.

Harry: Hey! I resent that! Half of these people have already read this book, so they know that Sirius is innocent anyways!

All: what?

Man in the theater: I never knew!

Women in the theater: Nor did I! What a disappointment!

Women, um, man, um, person in the theater: *throws a jar of mayo at Harry*

Me: *Laughs and rolls on the floor*

Sirius: *drinks my potion* *then gags*

Man in the theater: HOLY CRAP!

Me: oh dear.

Sirius: *makes popping noises*

Snape: I shall help!

Harry: what the hell are you doing here?

Snape: *stops in his tracks* *eyes widen* Im everywhere.

Sirius: *coughs*

Harry: That maybe, the most repugnant thing I've ever heard.

Alphonso: You obviously never seen any of my former movies.

Sirius: *turns into a woman*

Snape: ahh!! Head for the hills! Hit the deck! Take cover!!!

Me: Nice affect!

Harry: hey, he's, I mean, she's kind of cute!

Alphonso: so..ever do rated R movies?

Sirius: *giggles*

Me: ahh!! Head for the hills! Hit the deck! Take cover!!!

Cut! ahh!

(a/n. Yes, I am making fun of Alphonso and yes the fact Snape ran away is highly relevant.)

Scene whatever, I can't count.

Take one:

Me: Cut! phooey, I mean action!

Snape: *smacks Harry over the head with a clip board*

Harry: ouch! abuse!

Snape: Where is your quill Potter?

Harry: I..I uh.. I have a pencil! *pulls out a pencil with little flowers on it*

Snape: what the hells a pencil?

Harry: *dodges clip board* It works see? *writes "I like men" on parchment*

Snape: what is this? Such magic is over-powering! *flaps hands*

Hermione: You don't get out much do you?

Snape: *looks down at chains around his ankles* The institution doesn't think I'm fit enough to use my legs for anything.

Harry: why..

Snape: Classified reasons. *holds up pencil*

All: WOW!

Snape: We must have more of these! Were do you buy them, Harry Potter with a tiny r over your name?

Harry: Uh..A grocery store?

Snape: Ralphs!

All: Ralphs!

Harry: Wait! Stop!

Hermione: I hope they don't get into trouble.

Harry: *wipes eyes* they may not come back.

Hermione: Why on earth? *looks flabbergasted*

Harry: They're on strike.

Hermione: *gasps*

( At Ralphs)

Snape: *walks up to the doors*

Striker: You better beat it man, were strike! *talks in a threatening Mexican voice*

Snape: Well, you miscreant, I have the right to shop at any grocery store I want!

Striker: If you go in that store, *whispers*

Another striker: I will come into your house,

Other Striker: And cut you.

All: *gasp*

Snape: Is that a threat sir? *holds head up*

Mexican Striker: Oh yeah, that's a threat! *things get tense*

Snape: I declare war!

Strikers: *bring out machine gun*

Alphonso: *cackles madly*

Strikers: *fire guns on Snape's class*

All: ahhh!

Alphonso: HA!

Snape: *gets shot with a paint ball gun* *runs away screaming*

Striker: say hello to my little friend!

All: HA!

Snape: Hello!

Alphonso: *rolls on the ground*

Some homeless guy: *sneaks through the battle and plugs in his stereo*

Snape: I said HI! *gets shot again*

Alphonso: uh oh! Take cover!

All: ahh!

Strikers: Stupid cocka-roaches!

Homeless guy: *plays the Mexican hat dance song*

All: ahh! *war continues*

Homeless guy: *still dancing*

Snape: I want my mom!

Alphonso: I need to get back to sex-driven, crazy french films. *sobs*

All: *sob behind cars as gunfire rings out*

Snape: WE JUST WANTED SOME GOD DAMN PENCILS!

Striker guy: You did? OH!

All strikers: *drop weapons*

Striker: Man, you can just go to target for pencils you know! Holy Toledo!

All: *sigh*

(Later)

All: *shopping at Target*

Homeless guy: Let go to K-mart! Blue light special!

Snape: ooooh! *gets excited* *buys rip off Gucci purse*

Me: *sneaks off with machine guns*

Harry: cut!

Like I said: HALF ASSED. But you know, I did almost get in a fight with one of those strikers! And he very well could have had a gun! *looks around cautiously*

Anyway, Review responses!

Dimgwrthien: Glad you liked it! Part two is very nearly done!It just needs some tweaking. *pokes computer* No sneak previews though, to tell you the truth, I've been dead busy, and we've had some problems lately, but really, no biggie!p. s. read Celebony's fic!

crazed girl: really? You love all the chapters? I mean, it certainly makes me think so when you said you and your friends love reading "this junk" I'm not offended, it is uproariously junky.p. s. read Celebony's fic!

Mita SanStar: Exactly! No one believed me when I said Harry was a suicidal bastard! I'm soo glad someone agrees! But then again...I think that cheese can be shared through the telephone receiver. thanx for reviewing! :) p. s. read Celebony's fic!

Crystal Tips: *hold up letter from the solicitor* *smiles evilly* Yes, I hear by state that Legolas is yours. I have no need of him, yet... Funny! Did I put that? huh! Yes, I was Harry Potter, but it was dreadfully cold, so I had to wear a jacket! I made the best of it by attaching a sign to my neck saying, "I live in A dumpster, and dance to techno on the streets. Any money?" Yes, it was funny, and yes I am nuts!

oh! p. s. read Celebony's fic!

girlwithnoname: thanks for taking the time to say "this sux" and not even in proper English either! *claps* p. s. you suck too!

nkittyhawk: Yes indeedy Yay for queen! This ones a little bit more realistic and more dramatic. Ahh, I love Snape! I hope you got that quesadilla out of your nose. Dreadfully painful! You should try snorting Parmesan cheese..*sticks tongue out* lol, thanks again for your reviews, I hold them in high accord!p. s. read Celebony's fic!

neopyro: Thanks! You sure did get a kick out of that! And, I'm still glad I insulted that one person for insulting your fic. On the whole I think he/she has stopped doing it. Yes. I love the detachable penis song, so refreshing! thanks for reviewing! smiles!p. s. read Celebony's fic!

Jay: Nice name, if it is your real name. I like to use that in a lot of my outside fics. Anyway! thanks for reviewing, im soo happy people like it. Heck, Im soo happy I even got one review...p. s. read Celebony's fic!

DarkButterfly324: Gracias! I like you, hate computer class! It's sooo pointless! I say all classes should be related and strictly about Harry Potter! And! reading Fanfic should be our homework! *suggests it to teacher* *send me to the institution again* p. s. read Celebony's fic!

Celebony: I don't know what I'd do without you, this is a special shout out to how absolutely fantastic you are! EVERYONE MUST READ YOUR FIC, because, everyone one must know how great you are. You are a great friend to me and I appreciate it more then the guy who made cheeseburger. Thank you for sticking by me and always thinking positive! You have been assigned to my other new fic, because that one is technically better and this fic is too average for your graceful talents to touch. lol, Im soooo crazy. But that's not the pont, I hope your well and I'll drop you and e-mail pretty soon!

Smiles!

Phoo! Hope you liked it! I'll try and update WAY sooner! My penname will change, the tittle still stands! Hope you have a beautiful day!

Oh! crazed girl! I will remember: Fudge is yummy!

All: yum!!!