"Never Be the Same Again"



EMAIL: little_miss_likes_to_fight@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Angst, future story, romance
SPOILERS: "Singularity," "The Broca Divide"
SEASON/SEQUEL: Future series
CONTENT WARNINGS: Character death
PAIRING: Sam/Jack, Daniel/Janet
SUMMARY: To some they were heroes to be worshiped. To others, they were just people doing their jobs. To some they were both. And to some, they were simply "mom" or "dad."
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I don't know what inspired to write this, but it sort of just wrote itself. I don't normally write in the first person, so this was a bit of a change for me.

It was a normal day as far as I could tell. I was sitting at my desk, marking some tests. I pulled a disgusted face when I noticed that the highest mark so far was 12 out of 30. It was times like this when I wondered why I had become a teacher. It wasn't actually my dream job either. My first love was always going to have be the military- the Air Force, if you wanted to be specific.

Until, twenty years ago, I was injured while on duty, and forced to retire on medical grounds. Basically, the fact that I could no longer walk without a limp, thanks to my knee being smashed in meant that I was never going to be able to say that I was a major in the USAF.

I won't lie - I miss being military. But, most of all, I miss my last assignment - Stargate Command, the SGC. Probably one of the most secret military facilities in the United States which contained an alien gate, through which you could travel to a variety of planets.

I had been the 2IC of one of the teams sent through that gate. I had been a part of the team, as a scientist, for only a couple of years, before my knee injury. And so ended my brief, and as some would say, dazzling, career in the Air Force.

I stayed as a scientific consultant at Cheyenne Mountain for another year, before I realised that it was too depressing; watching the teams head off through the Stargate, knowing that I could never be a part of them again. So I went back to college for a year, and trained to become a teacher.

I stayed in Colorado Springs once I was qualified for my new career - my husband is still stationed at SGC. It's a part of him now. Guess it's a part of us all really.

I heard a knock on the door, and called "Enter," laying down my pen as I prepared to receive my visitor. As well as being the senior science teacher, I was also one of the deputy principles of the new joint middle and high school in Colorado Springs. My fellow colleagues joke that my military training help keeps the kids in-line. It could have been anyone from one of our few juvenile delinquents, sent for causing mayhem in their class, or perhaps one of my older students, seeking help with the problems I had set them.

However, it turned out to be someone I would never have expected. "Doctor," I exclaimed, rising up to firmly grasp the offered hand. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit? Please, have a seat."

Yet even as my visitor took the offered seat, fear gripped at my heart. This was someone who I hadn't seen in a long time; her daughter had left school fifteen, sixteen years previously, and although her second had just turned twelve, she wasn't going to be under my jurisdiction for another two years, as I was only responsible for the high school students. And even though she is my doctor, it was still a long time, as I had been remarkably healthy for the last several years. My visitor's face was pale, and there was no laughter in her eyes - something that I had always remembered her for. Even when she was giving you post-mission physicals, she was always kind about it, unless you belonged to a certain team, who always seemed to be spending more time in the infirmary than off-world!

"I need to speak to Carter, Caitlin and Samantha," Janet Fraiser announced, trying to keep her voice steady. Janet Fraiser-Jackson, I reminded myself. But, I guess old habits die hard - even though it had been thirteen years since she had finally married Daniel Jackson. If I had been just another teacher, I would not have noticed the tremble in her voice. But I was not just another teacher, and instinctively, I knew that something was wrong. The fact that she was asking to see Carter and Caitlin was a bad sign to start with.

"Of course," I told her, picking up my phone, and calling the school secretary. "Sue - it's Holly. Could you get Samantha Jackson, seventh grade, and Carter and Caitlin O'Neill, ninth and eleventh grades, to come my office immediately please."

Sue agreed, without any questions; she was a good woman, and one I was proud to call my friend.

Turning back to Janet, I offered her a drink. She shook her head, declining. I was half tempted to offer her tissues, as it looked as though she was about to start crying.

Another knock on the door, and I instructed whoever it was on the other side to come in. It opened to reveal a very nervous Samantha Jackson, and I smiled reassuringly at her. Cassandra had never been this shy, I thought, then idly wondered how that young woman was getting on now. Samantha's expression changed from nervousness to puzzlement as she saw her mum sitting in my office. She doesn't know about my SGC connections; I don't broadcast the fact that I'm former military over the school. Over the years, I have been asked about my limp, and then I say that I was in the Air Force. That's it. No more, no less. If they try to distract me from my lessons by asking about my missions, or how I got hurt, I tell them that it's classified, then turn back to the safety of my science. I remember her when she was a baby - she would stay with Janet in the infirmary, which is where I have to go whenever I need to see a doctor, which I haven't ever since the birth of my third child seven years ago. Too many questions which I'm not allowed to answer would be asked if I saw a civilian doctor. How do you explain the residual traces of zat gun blasts, which will show up if they run the right tests? Not to mention the scars left behind from a couple of staff weapon blasts. And of course, knowing my luck, they would run those tests - probably first.

"Come here Sammy," Janet told her daughter, holding out her arms, and indicating that she was to sit on her lap. Obviously completely lost, and bewildered in my office, the small girl did, even as there was another knock on my door.

"Come in," I called, as Janet brushed the dark waves away from Samantha's face. Noticing the tears brimming in her eyes, I checked that my box of tissues was in easy reach as both Carter and Caitlin O'Neill entered. These two were no strangers to my office. Carter was despised by his Latin teacher, who would use every excuse to drag the poor boy here, while Caitlin was always coming to me about some science thing or another. She's the only person who I can talk to about wormhole physics - for obvious reasons, since Cassandra left. I once asked her why she didn't talk to her mother about these sorts of things. She replied that she did occasionally, but when her parents were on downtime, they didn't really want to discuss work related things, and the fact that she has three other siblings - plus her father - competing for her mother's attention.

Both looked puzzled as to why they had been summoned here - they both looked to be mentally reviewing their behaviour in the past week or so. However, their puzzled looks only increased further when they saw Janet, and her daughter.

"Sit down you two," I told them, thankful that I had at least three chairs in my office. "Doctor Fraiser wants to speak to you." I rose from my chair, preparing to leave and give them some privacy, but Janet looked at me, and held out her hand.

"If you don't mind staying, Holly," she told me. I stayed. Four pairs of eyes were fixated on the petite redhead - three brown and one blue.

Taking a deep breath, and obviously mentally preparing herself for what she was to say next, Janet began to speak.

"You know that SG-1 - the original SG-1, went to P3X639 for the Triumvirate," Janet began, aiming her question specifically at the children. I remember Stephen telling me briefly about it - a gathering between...

"Us, the Tollans and the Tok'ra all getting together on a neutral planet," Carter declared. "Yeah - I remember dad running around the day before looking for his dress blues."

"Mum then reminded him that they were on-base, because they hadn't needed them last time they wore them. So they left them there, as they'd only wore them for the journey between home and the mountain," Caitlin remembered. Not for the first time, I marvelled at the girl's memory; then reminded myself that she was the daughter of Samantha Carter. Janet smiled, although it didn't reach her eyes. What could have been so bad, I wondered, that could have affected her this badly? Yet even as I asked myself the question, I had a horrible feeling as to what the good doctor was going to say next.

Another deep breathe. "They left yesterday, at 0800 hours, along with the new SG-1, SG-7, and three of SG-15."

Standard information - she was obviously stalling for time.

"They were meant to report in at 2000 hours last night," Janet continued. "We haven't heard from them since they reached there yesterday morning."

There was a sharp intake of breath from Caitlin, and I noticed her brother reach out to grip his little sister's hand.

In the same lifeless tone that she had started in, Janet continued to talk. "Colonel Richardson sent a MALP through at 2200 hours last night, but no telemetry came through. They tried again this morning, at 0800 hours, and from what we can tell, it looks as though the planet's been attacked."

We were all staring at Janet in horror. Who could have attacked them? Who knew that the meeting was happening then, and there? It was supposed to be top secret - I knew that it was happening, but not where and when. And Stephen had only told me about it due to the momentous fact that it was the original SG-1 team going; General Jack O'Neill, Major General Doctor Samantha Carter-O'Neill, Doctor Daniel Jackson and Teal'c.

"SG-2 and SG-9 went through the gate at 0900. They reported back at 1200 hours. They haven't found anything." Janet paused, and swallowed. "Or anyone."

I looked at the three children sitting in my office, the horror starting to sink in. And it showed on their faces. All were old enough to understand the seriousness of this; old enough to understand that their parents might not be returning.

"Colonel Richardson announced them Missing in Action an hour ago," Janet finished, breaking the silence that had fallen upon us. However, at her stark words, another silence fell, punctuated only by Samantha's quiet sobs, as her mother rocked her in her arms as though she was still only five, and the worst thing that had befallen her was a scraped knee.

I knew that I had to call Stephen - the Colonel Richardson that Janet had mentioned. I just had to talk to him - find out details that there was no way in hell that I was going to ask Janet.

I looked over at the two teenagers, still maintaining their contact through their hands. Caitlin was chewing her lip, and I could her blinking away the tears in her blue eyes. She was not going to let them fall in my company; I could see that. And Carter was sitting still, just staring ahead at the wall in front of him. Janet was still trying to quieten Samantha, although I could see that she was keeping one eye on her best friends' children.

Noticing Caitlin's composure falter, I quickly pulled out a box of tissues, and handed them over to her. She grabbed one, while nodding her thanks and dabbed at her eyes.

I don't really know how long we sat there, in silence. I think the bell rang, indicating the end of the lesson, but we still didn't move. It was kind of hard to comprehend. The original SG-1 team was kind of bigger than life. In all their years in active service, they had never lost anybody. They had remained together; would never leave anyone behind. They had seemed invincible, untouchable. And now they were gone. Not in a blaze of glory, but killed during stupid, pointless negotiations. They were never diplomats - they should not have died while sitting at a conference table, discussing peace treaties. They had survived just about anything that the Stargate had thrown at them - Goa'uld invasions, time travel, alternate realities, Hathor.... They deserved to have died hero's deaths, or peaceful deaths. At home, surrounded by their family; those who they loved, and who loved them. It wasn't right, I realised. But was death ever right? I asked myself. Still we sat there. Until a knock came at my door, shaking us all out of our own thoughts.

"I need to get, um," Janet began, helping Samantha off her lap. "I need to get the children from school. I need to tell them."

I knew that she was referring to her young son, and the O'Neill twins - the latter two who were only seven years old. My heart went out to them - my youngest is that age. How would she cope if she were told that her father and I were never coming back?

"Of course," I told her, standing up as she did. "Carter, Caitlin, Samantha... are you going with Doctor Fraiser?"

Asking Samantha was pointless - it was obvious that the way she gripped at her mother's hand that the two weren't going to be separated. And I think that I would have been very, very surprised if Carter and Caitlin had replied in the negative.

Caitlin just nodded, while Carter managed a weak "yeah."

"I'll inform your teachers," I assured them, although I expected that school was the furthest thing from their minds at the moment. "Janet - it was good to see you; I only wish it could have been under better circumstances."

My visitor nodded curtly. "You too Holly. I'm sure we'll be seeing more of each other soon."

Such a simple comment, but we were both aware of its hidden depths. I would be present at the memorial service, so I'd see her then, and as she and Daniel had been listed as the O'Neill children's legal guardians, she would be talking to me on behalf of Carter and Caitlin. Oh yes, we were certainly going to see more of each other.