The Situation... By Lady Cleo

All Disclaimers apply!

Recap: This is an alternate universe where Jackie never dated Kelso so lots of stuff hasn't happened.

Chapter Five: Turkey Day Surprises
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The Situation. The Foreman Residence:

It was a dangerous situation, but the scrawny warrior knew that it had to be done, else there would be an entirely different deadly situation latter on.

Eric Foreman stood on the porch to his own hell, inside raged a pair of deadly demons. It was a situation he couldn't ignore, but a situation that wouldn't be easy to face. To his right Donna sat starring into space, Fez stood beside her, humming a little tune to himself.

"Man, this totally bites! A demon grandmother, menopausal mother and whore of a sister all in gathered together in the same house!"

Donna rolled her eyes, pushing herself up to face off against him, "Look Eric we have to go in there some time! We can't stay out here forever."

"Sure we can! I mean what's so important about Thanksgiving day." Eric declared tossing up his hands in desperation.

"The food!" Fez commented as he gazed longingly into the kitchen.

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The Situation. The Foreman Residence, the Kitchen:

Kitty continued to chop the food before her, violence flashing within the dark depths of her eyes, the knife attacking its prey violently. A few words slipped through her lips just as Hyde stepped into the kitchen, having finally escaped the torment of the living room. He caught something like, "hell..... Stupid....... Witch... Kill......." Baring his shoulders Hyde gently tapped Kitty on the shoulder. She jumped, spinning around with the knife still clutched in her head, the blade aimed at his throat.

"Steven!" Kitty laughed nervously, putting the utensil back down on the cutting board. "Sorry honey, I'm just a little stressed."

"Yeah Mrs. Foreman, cuz for a second there I thought you were having one of Red's flashbacks!"

Kitty laughed again, busily wiping her hands on her apron before turning back to the preparations. "So Steven! We could use a little cheer over here. Why don't you invite the nice little Burkhart girl! She was just the sweetest thing that night."

An escape. It was his chance to get out of this house, to run for freedom.

"Sure Mrs. Foreman. In fact why don't I drive over their right now and ask."

"Steven Honey, why don't you just call her?" Mrs. Foreman quietly asked, never noticing the fact that Hyde was already inching towards the glass doors.

Hyde paused only for a second to think of a quick reply. "You know, it's....... more romantic this way. Bye!" It two seconds he was out the door, past Foreman, Fez and Donna and half way to Jackie's house.

Kitty paused her work for a second, gazing after Hyde's smoking trial with a thoughtful expression on her face. "If only the other rotten basterds in this household were as thoughtful as that one!"

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The Situation. The Burkhart Residence:

Hyde pulled up to Jackie's house, his gaze immediately flying to the expensive car parked in the drive way. The front door was wide open, a butler, or maybe it was a chaffer, was carrying some suitcases out to the open trunk. Hyde raised an eyebrow as he stepped inside, bypassing another suitcase that sat in the hallway. He made his way silently into the living room, pausing at the sight of Jackie sitting forlornly on the couch, the phone pressed to her ear.

"But daddy!" He heard her whisper into the phone "You just got back........" He watched her silently pluck at her dress, her frown deepening. "But it's Thanksgiving!" Her voice dropped more, her entire face giving away the disappointment she felt, the loneliness that had her on the verge of tears. "I understand Daddy....... Okay Daddy, I love you, bye." Jackie hung the phone up. She sat there for a second, staring into space. Fluffy Cakes barked, reaching down Jackie gently picked him up, cradling the puppy in her lap.

Hyde heard the front door gently slam behind him, watched as Jackie winced at the sound. A part of him wanted to react to her pain, to hold her, but just like him Jackie was proud. She didn't want anybody's pity.

"What are you doing for dinner tonight?" He asked, leaning causally against the wall.

Jackie jumped, turning slightly in her seat so she could gaze at him with a shocked expression. "Steven?" She squealed happily, gently placing Fluffy Cakes on the ground as she quickly raced over to him, throwing her arms around his neck and clinging tightly to his form. "When did you show up?" She asked, burying her face into his neck. "I wasn't planning on seeing you today." She added quietly as her fingers lightly traced along his muscles.

"Good to see you too babe!" He chuckled, his hand snaking around the back of her neck as he placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. He held her in his arms, gently cradling her, letting her soak up some comfort. "What gives?" He questioned, finally releasing her small form. "You look kind of down." Jackie shrugged her shoulders, her hand neatly fitting into his.

Hyde let her silence pass, understanding that she probably didn't want to tell him, as he led her towards the couch. He slouched down unto the comfortable material, pulling her down to his lap. "So what are you doing for dinner? Mrs. Foreman thought of you and asked me to invite you." He declared, his hand tracing along her leg, eyes avoiding hers.

Jackie's head titled as she gazed down at him, "She did?" she asked a small smile slipping across her lips. "Ah, Steven I would love to come! But maybe I shouldn't, what about your friends? I mean, what are they going to think when you bring a cheerleader to dinner?"

"Like I care what they think!" Hyde snorted, and then frowned when Jackie's smile vanished. "Look baby, I don't care what they think, and neither should you. So go do whatever girly thingy you need to do so we can get back to hell!"

"Hell?" Jackie inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't ask Baby! Don't ask!"

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The Situation. The Foreman Residence:

Kitty tugged uncomfortably at her collar. Eric, Donna and Fex had finally come inside. The three stood at the bottom of the steps, watching the adults mingle around the table set up in the dinning room. She glanced nervously down at her watch. Steven had been gone for a good thirty minutes. Dinner wasn't going to be ready for another hour or two, but she'd run out of things to do in the kitchen. If Hyde brought Jackie over she could at least get the nice little girl to district her demon mother from nagging.

The door bell rang. "I'll get it" Kitty laughed nervously as she raced over to the door.

She flung the door open wide. Hyde and Jackie stood on the doorstep, his arm thrown casually around her waist as she leaned into his shoulder smiling nervously.

"What the hell?" "The world is ending!" "Holy mother of God!" Came the three voices from just at the bottom of the stairs.

Kitty glared at the three shell shocked teenagers, stepping back as Hyde lead Jackie into the house, his hand gripping hers tightly. "It's good to see you again Jackie!" Kitty laughed nervously. "Everyone I want to introduce Jackie Burkhart, Steven's girlfriend."

"What the hell?" "The world really is ending!" "Holy mother of God!" Repeated the three voices from just at the bottom of the stairs.

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The Situation. The Foreman Residence the basement, the circle:

Foreman: (Shakes his head.) What the hell is going on up there? Cuz I swear I must be hallucinating. Did our Hyde just bring a cheerleader to dinner? Okay sure she's a hot little cheerleader, but she's the DEVIL man!

Donna: A cheerleader, a fricken cheerleader. What the hell is he thinking?

Fez: What the hell is he thinking! It's was my turn to date the Snow Queen!

Schotize sits on the couch, chewing on a bone.

Foreman: You now this is just like that time is Star Wars when.... (Eric's voice is drowned out by the moans.)

Donna: The freaking Snow Queen. He's dating Point Place's Snow Queen! She's the freaking Captain of the Cheerleader, their little ring leader. I mean she's never dated anyone but the most popular, and now she's with Hyde? What the hell are they thinking?

Fez: The world will end and I'll never have my turn because Hyde stole my only chance.

Schotize sits on the couch, gnawing away at a bone.

Foreman: How the hell did this happen? How the hell could we not have noticed? Okay so they showed absolutely no signs at school, but still shouldn't we have known just by the simple fact that.. um that.. So okay we couldn't have known so we couldn't have prevented this tragedy but still I mean.. (bangs head down.)

Donna: She's a cheerleader, the Snow Queen. For heaven's sake she's Jackie Burkhart, the perfectly perfect freaken Queen of Point Place High. How could he do this to us?

Fez: He doesn't deserve to live! The backstabber!

Schotize jumps down from the couch and trots out of the room.

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The Situation. The Foreman Residence:

Jackie and Hyde stood together at the bottom of the stairs with Bob and Red. "So?" Bob began. "Do you know Councilman Burkhart?"

"Bob you idiot!" Red barked glaring at his neighbor. "She's his daughter!"

"Really? Wow she looks nothing like him!" Bob nodded. Red rolled his eyes and walked away, Bob following after him. "What did I say?"

Fez, Donna and Eric silently entered from the kitchen. "Okay Donna!" Eric whispered. "Remember, divide and conquer. You're Princess Leia; you've been captured by Darth Vader and you have to make sure she doesn't come down while we try and rescue Obi Wan.

Fantasy..

Everything in the room takes on a metallic look, while staying the same. The group of adults turns into Storm Troopers..

Hyde stands at the bottom of the stairs dressed as Obi wan, causally sipping from a beer. At his side stands a short female Darth Vader. She lifts up the helmet and takes a deep breath! "God I can't breathe in that thing!" Jackie declares. "So Obi Wan, want to join the dark side so we can make out?"

Hyde shrugs his shoulder with a smirk. "Sure Vader, I'd love to get you out of that cape!" Hyde wraps his arm around her, crushing her to his chest as they kiss.

"Oh that's just wrong!" Eric declares as he stands dressed as Luke shaking his head in misery. Donna, dressed as Princess Leia nods her head in agreement and Fez as Han Solo growls low in his throat. "It's up to you Leia. I think you'd better take Chewbacca with you for protection!" Donna nodded, bending down she picked up Schotize a.k.a. Chewbacca and headed over to Vader and Obi wan.

"Wanna go upstairs and have a little girl talk Darth Vader?"

"Really?" Jackie asks eagerly. "Sure Princess Leia, maybe I could give you some tips on how to dress better. You know that white dress, and that hair style makes you look just like an imperial lumberjack."

A storm trooper suddenly walks over, removing its helmet to revile Laurie. "Count me in. I've got to see this!" The three girls head upstairs.

"So Obi Wan! Why don't we head back to the Millennium Falcon and have a nice little talk?" Eric declared solemnly.

"What?" Hyde demanded angrily.

End fantasy..

"If anyone I'm Han Solo! Not that old freak Obi Wan. And what exactly do you consider the Millennium Falcon. Is it the Vista Cruiser, the El Camino?" Hyde demanded.

Eric rolled his eyes, glancing at Fez for support, only to find his support giving Hyde a murderous glare. "Die you basterd! You stole my turn!" Fez lunged for Hyde.

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The Situation. The Foreman Residence, Laurie's Room:

Laurie sits there, casually playing with her nails.

Donna nods her head, obviously trying to find something to say.

Schotize lays on a pillow, napping.

Jackie: So.. You're the girl that's totally in love with the scrawny boy!

Laurie: (Disgusted) You're still not over Eric! What did you ever see in him?

Donna: What? How did you know that?

Schotize continues to nap.

Jackie: Donna it's obvious, the entire School knows it. It's like that one time, when Cynthia was stalking Rodger, but this time it's as if Cynthia was stalk Rodger and Rodger was stalking Cynthia at the same time.

Laurie: (Confused) What?

Donna: (Trying to change the subject.) So you and Hyde?

Schotize wakes for a second, shifts positions and goes back to napping.

Jackie: (Happily) Yeah! I love Steven and he loves me!

Laurie: Steven? Who's Steven? Is that Hyde?

Donna: He lets you call him Steven?

Schotize continues to nap.

Jackie: Of course, why would I call him by his last name? That's just stupid. If I called him Hyde all the time like everybody else, he would have to call me Burkhart, and why would he call me Burkhart when he loves me?

Laurie: So have you and Hyde done it yet?"

Donna: (Disgusted) I don't want to know that. Hyde's one of my friends!

Schotize continues to nap.

Jackie: (To Laurie) God why would you ask that? I'm a virgin!

Laurie: What?

Donna: You're a virgin?

Schotize gets up, annoyed by the noise and jumps off the bed.

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The Situation. The Foreman Residence, the basement, the circle:

Eric: She's a cheerleader, the Snow Queen, the captain of the varsity squad. She hangs out with other demons. Didn't you read all the signs?

Hyde sits reading a magazine, ignoring Eric.

Fez: How could you steal her like that?

Hyde turns the page, continuing to read.

Eric: I can't believe you let her take you over to the dark side.

Hyde frowns, obviously not liking where this was going, but still not reacting.

Fez: How could you do it? You knew I wanted her, you knew it was my turn?

Hyde turns the page, raising an eyebrow at something he's reading.

Eric: Man she's like Darth Vader.

Hyde: (Throws down the magazine angrily.) What do you care Foreman. I'm the one that's dating her, not you. For the past thirty minutes I've listened to you two talk about how what were doing is wrong. And you know what! I honestly don't give a damn. If I wanna make out with someone you consider the Devil I will. (Hyde leaves.)

Fez: That's right run you turn stealer.

Eric: (Sarcastically) That went well!

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The Situation. The Foreman Residence, the kitchen:

Hyde stormed into the kitchen and paused, noticing Kitty standing over by her chopping black, he tries to quietly walk past, but Kitty hears and turns on him. "What's wrong Steven?"

Damn how did the woman now everything! "Eric, Fez and Donna, obviously don't like her! I don't car about what they think but they are my friends and if Jackie and I ever go public about this whole dating thing she's going to want someone on our side and I know her friends defiantly won't be." Hyde explained as Kitty led him over to the kitchen table. "Mrs. Foreman I don't want Jackie to get hurt and I know the fact that they don't like her is going to hurt her."

"That's not true Steven! I'm sure they love her!" Kitty laughed, patting him on the shoulder.

The kitchen door burst open, admitting an obviously unhappy Donna. She stormed over to the table, "You're dating a virgin! You're dating the captain of the cheerleading Squad, the reigning Snow Queen that won't stop calling me a lumberjack! This is like the freaken twilight zone!" That finally off her chest Donna stormed off towards the basement.

"Oh honey!" Kitty whispered, Hyde seemed unaffected by the outburst. "We'll you know what, they don't matter. What matters is that you like her! You know what I'm going to do...." Hyde raised an eyebrow. "We'll your going to find out mister, just you wait."

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The Situation. The Foreman Residence:

Everyone was gathering together slowly in the living room, food had been piled onto both the kid table and adult table. Kitty stood, doing last minute preparations as everyone started to take their seats. "Wait Laurie, I want you at the kiddy table!" She ordered.

"Mother?" Laurie demanded, but at the menopausal look her mother gave her did as ordered.

"Jackie honey, you come sit over here beside me! Hyde you sit beside her and Bob you're on the other side." No body moved for a second, at least none of the teenagers complied. "NOW!" Kitty shouted and the room went into a flurry of action. Once everyone was seated Kitty laughed nervously. "That's better."

Dinner began.

Kitty laughed happily as the entire table began to chat, Red and Steven talking about the football game, Jackie answering Bob's Question, while Burt and Bea made additional comments.

The perfectly perfect Jackie Burkhart smiled happily at her bad boy, bad ass Steven Hyde. The world of the adult table went happily along. While those gathered at the kid table exchanged baffled glances, wondering when their new skewed reality of the world had become the normal comfortable situation of the adult table.