The Situation . By Lady Cleo
All Disclaimers apply!
Note: This is an alternate universe where Jackie never dated Kelso so lots of stuff hasn't happened. For example Jackie never set Donna up with Casey so Donna and Eric never got back together.
Chapter Six: M. Kelso.... Left in the Dark
Point Place High was getting desperate. The perfect little Jackie Burkhart remained dateless. And when Jackie was dateless, the schools gossip died down to little unimportant tidbits.
One off which included the notorious Steven Hyde, the bad ass, bad boy rebel of Point Place High. It was a well known fact that when Steven Hyde walked the halls he walked alone. That was nothing new. But for the past three days since the return from the Thanksgiving break Steven Hyde had spoken little, if at all, to those other people commonly associated as his friends.
When Kelso was asked about the situation he replied, "I don't know what's going on thanks to Pam!"
Pam's angry reply to this, "Well I'm sorry Kelso, but I will not be subjected to being in the same presence of that slut Laurie Foreman."
"But baby," Kelso had whined in reply, "We obviously missed something good."
Pam's response..... A slap in the shoulder as she yelled, "Yeah right, you just wanted to see that slut Laurie."
Donna reported this wide spread news to the group, that scrawny boy's response, "What the hell do they care if he's not talking to us."
As more days went bye man pretty Michael Kelso quizzed each and every basement occupant on the weekend's event. Their responses... "Ask Hyde."
Hyde's response..... Silence.
The entire group, minus M. Kelso, knew the reason for Hyde's silence on the matter. It was obvious, when you tell Kelso the sky is blue, he tells Pam the sky is blue, who in turn tells Cynthia the sky is blue. Cynthia tells Rodger, who tells Betty, who tells the freshman cheerleading squad, who then passes it unto the varsity squad who tells the football players. The football players tell the student body president who tells the student council who tells the chess club who passes it unto the nerds who causal mentions it to the bullies while being pounded. The bullies then spread the news to the juvenile delinquents who casually mention it to Donna who tells the basement. By the end of a school day, the entire school knows the sky is blue thanks to M. Kelso, man pretty, man whore.
**********
The Situation. The Foreman Residence:
Hyde walked down the stairs quietly, half expecting to find the basement devoid of life, which it was not. Foreman and Donna stood, waiting patently for his arrival, Fez sat quietly on the couch. It looked like a police interrogation to Hyde.
"Look Hyde..." Foreman started to say.
Hyde raised an eyebrow, slipping into his usual chair, "If this is about Jackie being Darth Vader, and the devil I've already heard it."
Foreman rolled his eyes, looking to Donna for support. "Hyde I'm not going to say that she isn't the devil or that she isn't a force of the dark side...."
"What Eric is trying to say is that were sorry but we can't help not liking your little girlfriend." Donna interrupted, already foreseeing where Eric's conversation had been headed.
"She's not my girlfriend. I don't believe in that whole conformist girlfriend, boyfriend crap." Hyde declared, "But she's going to be around me a lot so you're going to half to get over your whole attitude towards her."
Eric threw his arms up expatriated, Donna smacked him on the shoulder before turning back to Hyde, "Look we won't ever really like her but if our hating her costs us your friendship we'll pretend like we don't hate her." Donna reluctantly acceded. "But," she added quickly, "Only when you guys are around. We reserve the right to burn her behind your back!"
"Whatever!" Hyde replied then smirked, "It's a good thing that you did because Mrs. Foreman has taken a real liking to her." He stood walking over to the basement door, "Which reminds me Eric, your mom invited her over for dinner."
An absolute look of horror crossed Foreman's face as Hyde quickly left the basement. "What the Hell?" Donna demanded, "When we were dating Mrs. Foreman never invited me over to dinner!"
"Obviously you did not get the hint Donna!" Fez quipped as he stood, heading over to the door.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Donna demanded after his retreating back, turning back to her former Foreman boyfriend Donna reluctantly took a seat. "Hey when are we going to tell Kelso?"
**********
The Situation. The Foreman Residence, the basement, the circle:
Eric: Man can you imagine what it's going to be like when Kelso finds out.
Eric's fantasy:
Cue Music: Star Wars Theme
Roll Credits:
STAR WARS EPOSIDE ?
OBI WAN TO THE RESCUE.
HAN SOLO HAS BEEN CAPUTURED BY THE DARK FORCES. DARTH VADER PLANS TO USE THE PILOT IN HOPES OF CONVERTING HIM TO THE DARK WAYS.
Cue music: Vader's theme.
Cue opening scene:
Hyde sits in his usual chair within a metallic cell. He is dressed as Han solo instead of Obi Wan as previously seen. The cell door opens admitting a short female Darth Vader. She walks in slowly, her masked face glued to Hyde's form as she comes to a halt in front of her prisoner "Give it up Solo! You'll never resist the powers of the dark side."
"Whatever" Hyde declared as he raised his eyebrow at the short Darth Vader.
"Is that what you think?" Vader questioned, the small gloved hands grasped the helmet slowly pulling the heavy black object off. Once removed Jackie tossed her hair over her shoulders in slow motion. She walked slowly over to Hyde, making a show of straddling him.
"Ah damn!" Hyde cursed, obviously not resisting her anymore.
"No one can resist the dark side!" Jackie grinned, then slowly leans down and kisses him, her hands slipping beneath his vest to run along his quest.
The cell door suddenly burst open and in walks Kelso dressed as Obi Wan. "I've come to save you... oh sorry!" Kelso declared. "Didn't know you were busy. I'll come back later." He leaves.
End fantasy....
Donna: Eric I don't think anything like that would happen. I think he's going to be a little upset.
Donna's fantasy: The Foreman living room, in black and white.
Red and Kitty Foreman stand dressed in a 1940's fashion, Kitty is happily bouncing on her toes, waiting patiently. The kitchen door swung open, admitting Eric dressed in a world war two uniform. Donna followed after him, her face tear streaked, her lips a bright red from kisses.
Eric paused in front of Red slowly extending his hand, "Well dad! Our train's leaving soon, so I guess this is goodbye for now."
Red nodded taking the outstretched hand, "I'm proud of you son."
Kitty started to cry as she pulled her son into a tight embrace. "Oh my little boy's going to go save the world." She finally released him when Eric started to gasp for breath.
Donna walked up to Eric more tears slipping down her cheeks. "Come back to me Eric!" She started to say but then turned away from him, sobbing her heart out. The scrawny boy frowned as she gently pulled her back to him, his arms encircling her waist as he held tightly onto her form.
The Kitchen door suddenly swung open, admitting Hyde, also dressed in a uniform, with Jackie clinging to his arm desperately. They walked silently over to the Foreman's.
"Steven, I'm proud of you for doing what's right. I know for a second there you were debating heading for Canada, but you did the right thing." Red declared as he stepped forward to shake Hyde's hand.
Kitty started to bawl again, before awkwardly attempting to hug Hyde, only to find the Jackie wouldn't release him for even a second. Kitty finally stepped back, grabbing a hold of her husband.
Jackie started to sob, still clinging desperately to his form, "Ah damn, don't cry woman!" Hyde ordered as he wrapped both his arms around her small waist and crushed her protectively to his chest."
"I just don't understand why you have to leave me!" She sobbed into his shoulder, her fingers tightly gripping his uniform.
Hyde frowned. "Ah you're getting the uniform wet!" He declared as he pulled away from Jackie so he could gaze down into her face. "Okay look, this isn't easy for me to say, but since Donna has put me in this ridiculous situation were I could possibly be killed I'm going to say it. I love you!"
Jackie started to cry harder, latching back onto his form. Hyde rolled his eyes, lifting her chin she he could gaze back down into her wet eyes he whispered quietly. "I will come back!" He slowly bent his head, pressing his lips to her gently. Jackie responded, throwing her arms around his neck she deepened the kiss as Hyde wrapped his arms around her, lifting the small girl off her feet.
The kitchen door suddenly swung open admitting Kelso, also in uniform. "What the hell?" Kelso demanded forcing Hyde to pull away from Jackie. "What is my best friend doing kissing the girl I love?"
Jackie shifted, melting into Hyde's side as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "And in what universe was I ever your girl?" Jackie demanded, looking ever so pissed off and annoyed at the interruption of her academy award winning performance.
"Oh, right!" Kelso murmured shaking his head. "But anyway, it still hurts, cuz you know I liked you Jackie. I really wanted you and Hyde totally knew it and he went after you anyway."
Jackie raised an eyebrow, "Steven never went after me! I went after him. And who can resist me?"
Kelso nodded, immediately seeing her point, "Since you put it that way, I guess I'm over it." Kelso declared. "We'll I'm going to go find some other girl to make out with before we board the train."
A train conductor suddenly walked down the stairs as Kelso disappears back into the Kitchen. The train crashed through the living room wall, billowing smoke. "Oh that's going to ruin the furniture." Kitty yelled angrily watching as the train continued to billow steam blasts, while it crashed through the television. "Why couldn't they have taken a boat or something?"
"Yeah like that would be any better." Eric murmured under his breath, "If' we'd taken a boat half the house would be under water" Donna snickered in agreement.
The conductor walked over to the group, making a show of pulling out his watch, "All aboard, this is the last call, all aboard."
Jackie flung herself into Steven's arms, "Don't go."
Hyde rolled his eyes, prying the small girl off and handing her over to Mrs. Kitty. "Don't worry babe, I'll be back!"
Last goodbye were called out and the two soldiers boarded the trains, Hyde and Foreman stood on the steps, both their eyes glued to the small group as the train took off, billowing more furniture-ruining steam. Jackie clung to Mrs. Kitty sobbing, as Donna stood watching the now clear tracks that had passed through the Foreman living room. Several more minutes passed, the small group remained just absorbing the silence.
Kelso suddenly burst into the living room. "What the hell? I missed the train! Ah damn now I'm not going to get to make out with all those hot foreign chicks."
End fantasy.
Fez: No, you've got it all wrong!
Fez's fantasy:
Fez steps out into a spot light, "I see something more American, something that just says drama." The lights come up to revel that Fez is standing in the middle of a desert town, dressed as a cowboy. Behind him loomed the sheriff's office and just a few feet away a pristine church rose against the blue sky.
Kitty and Red exited from the church, their eyes going wide at the sight of all the sand. "Oh my god!" Kitty yelled, half horrified, half angry. "We'll never get rid of all this sand, and where's my furniture?" She demanded before storming back into the church. Red followed after her, mumbling about stupid dumb asses and their stupid fantasies.
Hyde suddenly stepped out of the Sheriff's office, dressed for his part as the local sheriff with a black cowboy hat on his head. He slowly walked over to Fez, "Man, are you sure you want me as sheriff? Wouldn't I be better as some really cool outlaw who storms into town and steals the heart of the local girl?"
Fez shook his head, "This is my fantasy you turn stealer."
Jackie appeared down the street walking towards them in a gingham dress and bonnet, carrying a basket laden with food. She walked angrily over to Hyde and thrust the basket out. "Here I slaved over a fire to make your freaken lunch. And Fez, can we have a little wardrobe change, this dress just isn't working for me."
Fez growled angrily, "This is my fantasy, now do as told!"
"Fine!" Jackie barked as she turned to face Hyde, who was gingerly picking through the basket. Jackie rolled her eyes and took a deep breath before she started to speak in a monotone, "Oh my handsome husband, my sheriff, I've missed you so much."
"Do it with a little feeling woman!" Fez barked, throwing his hat down for emphases.
Jackie rolled her eyes and put on a fake smile as she joyfully cried out, "Oh my handsome husband! My sheriff! I've missed you so much!" Stepping closer to Hyde she threw her arms around him and pulled him into a shocking kiss.
Eric and Donna rode up on a pair of black horses, Donna trying to fix her low cut saloon girl dress, while Eric sat dressed in black and melting under the heat.
"Where's Kelso?" Fez demanded looking down the streets, obviously getting rather pissed off.
Eric tugged at his collar, pointing down the way they'd just come. Kelso was a ways down the street clinging desperately to a horse, obviously terrified of the beast.
"Oh guys! Bandit gang! I need a little help here!" Kelso called, Eric rolled his eyes. Turning his own horse Eric galloped down the street and returned a second later leading his fearsome bandit leader, who sat clinging to his horse, terrified.
"Kelso just get off the damn horse!" Donna ordered, hiking up the bust line of her dress once again.
The man pretty bandit did as suggested, slowly sliding down the horse. Once his feet hit the ground, his confidence magically reappeared. He walked slowly over to where Hyde and Jackie stood, "Look here sheriff! I've had eyes on that woman of yours long before you ever noticed how hot she is."
"So!" Hyde declared, obviously unaffected by the chaffing group of bandits dressed in black.
"We'll I reckon I'll just take her then if you don't mind." Kelso laughed, Eric rolled his eyes, tugging once again at his collar. Donna was too busy trying to keep her dress from revealing too much to even notice the events.
"Whatever!" Was the only reply, as Hyde wrapped his arms protectively around his little woman.
Kelso laughed manically once again, obviously enjoying his roll. He quickly pulled out his gun and fired.
And missed Hyde by a couple of miles!
Hyde rolled his eyes, "Come on Jacks. Let's go eat!" Turning the pair entered the sheriff office, shutting the door behind them.
"You think they have air conditioning in there?" Eric asked, "Cuz if they do I have no qualms about joining their side. Maybe he needs a deputy!"
"That's not how it's supposed to end!" Kelso yelled angrily but stopped when Pam Macy suddenly walked by. Dressed as a saloon girl! "We'll hello pretty lady!" Kelso called, following after her.
End fantasy
Jackie sits there quietly on Hyde's lap, both of them staring at the three other teenagers like they've each gained another head.
Hyde: What the hell are you on?
Jackie: Okay Donna, Fez, you had some pretty good, but twisted ideas. Eric, well yours was just wrong. Personally I see something more along this way...
Jackie's fantasy:
Jackie stands in the middle of a field picking flowers. Hyde suddenly rides up on a white horse, dressed in shinning armor.
"Milady!" He calls out, jumping down from the horse and embracing her. "At last I have found thee."
End fantasy.
Eric: Okay where was Kelso's part in that story.
Donna: Maybe he was the horse!
Fez: No Donna, do not be ridiculous! He was the flowers that Jackie was picking and tossing aside.
Hyde grinned.
Jackie: No one said that man whore Kelso had to be in it!
**********
The Situation. The Foreman Residence:
The dinner table was quiet, Laurie sat silently beside Eric, her glare fixed on Jackie, who paid no attention to the blond slut but happily chatted away with Kitty. The rest of the table continued to eat silently.
Laurie leaned over to Eric quietly whispering, "What's Hyde's little virgin doing here?"
Eric glared at his demon sister, and suddenly paused, his gaze flickering between Jackie and Laurie. "You don't like her?" He questioned, obviously shocked, after all he was under the impression that sluts like them usually bonded.
"Of course not, she's a little goody-two-shoe virgin who called me the whore of Point Place and threatened to tell the world about the kind of diseases I spread if I ever so much as looked at Hyde." She paused for a second, "Why the hell I'm I telling you this." Laurie suddenly declared before turning back to dinner.
The world Eric saw seemed to morph..
Old View:
Darth Vader sat beside Han Solo with his arm causally draped around her shoulders. The Emperor Red laughed at one end of the table, while Kitty sat at the other end of the table dressed as an Imperial general. Beside him his storm trooper sister grumbled about that slut Darth Vader.
New View:
The Emperor Red still sat at the end of the table, Kitty still laughed but know seemed to be in her better mood, making her a Rebel general. Hyde was still Han Solo with his arm still draped over Jackie. But Jackie was no longer dressed as Vader; instead she was a rebel fighter pilot smiling happily at her Solo. For a second Eric didn't dare look at Laurie but then suddenly found the curiosity overwhelming. He found Darth Vader occupying the chair beside him..
Eric nearly jumped out of his chair, Darth Vader suddenly turned to him asked, "What the hell are you looking at me like that for?"
Next Chapter: The Not So Typical, Typical Foreman Christmas.
All Disclaimers apply!
Note: This is an alternate universe where Jackie never dated Kelso so lots of stuff hasn't happened. For example Jackie never set Donna up with Casey so Donna and Eric never got back together.
Chapter Six: M. Kelso.... Left in the Dark
Point Place High was getting desperate. The perfect little Jackie Burkhart remained dateless. And when Jackie was dateless, the schools gossip died down to little unimportant tidbits.
One off which included the notorious Steven Hyde, the bad ass, bad boy rebel of Point Place High. It was a well known fact that when Steven Hyde walked the halls he walked alone. That was nothing new. But for the past three days since the return from the Thanksgiving break Steven Hyde had spoken little, if at all, to those other people commonly associated as his friends.
When Kelso was asked about the situation he replied, "I don't know what's going on thanks to Pam!"
Pam's angry reply to this, "Well I'm sorry Kelso, but I will not be subjected to being in the same presence of that slut Laurie Foreman."
"But baby," Kelso had whined in reply, "We obviously missed something good."
Pam's response..... A slap in the shoulder as she yelled, "Yeah right, you just wanted to see that slut Laurie."
Donna reported this wide spread news to the group, that scrawny boy's response, "What the hell do they care if he's not talking to us."
As more days went bye man pretty Michael Kelso quizzed each and every basement occupant on the weekend's event. Their responses... "Ask Hyde."
Hyde's response..... Silence.
The entire group, minus M. Kelso, knew the reason for Hyde's silence on the matter. It was obvious, when you tell Kelso the sky is blue, he tells Pam the sky is blue, who in turn tells Cynthia the sky is blue. Cynthia tells Rodger, who tells Betty, who tells the freshman cheerleading squad, who then passes it unto the varsity squad who tells the football players. The football players tell the student body president who tells the student council who tells the chess club who passes it unto the nerds who causal mentions it to the bullies while being pounded. The bullies then spread the news to the juvenile delinquents who casually mention it to Donna who tells the basement. By the end of a school day, the entire school knows the sky is blue thanks to M. Kelso, man pretty, man whore.
**********
The Situation. The Foreman Residence:
Hyde walked down the stairs quietly, half expecting to find the basement devoid of life, which it was not. Foreman and Donna stood, waiting patently for his arrival, Fez sat quietly on the couch. It looked like a police interrogation to Hyde.
"Look Hyde..." Foreman started to say.
Hyde raised an eyebrow, slipping into his usual chair, "If this is about Jackie being Darth Vader, and the devil I've already heard it."
Foreman rolled his eyes, looking to Donna for support. "Hyde I'm not going to say that she isn't the devil or that she isn't a force of the dark side...."
"What Eric is trying to say is that were sorry but we can't help not liking your little girlfriend." Donna interrupted, already foreseeing where Eric's conversation had been headed.
"She's not my girlfriend. I don't believe in that whole conformist girlfriend, boyfriend crap." Hyde declared, "But she's going to be around me a lot so you're going to half to get over your whole attitude towards her."
Eric threw his arms up expatriated, Donna smacked him on the shoulder before turning back to Hyde, "Look we won't ever really like her but if our hating her costs us your friendship we'll pretend like we don't hate her." Donna reluctantly acceded. "But," she added quickly, "Only when you guys are around. We reserve the right to burn her behind your back!"
"Whatever!" Hyde replied then smirked, "It's a good thing that you did because Mrs. Foreman has taken a real liking to her." He stood walking over to the basement door, "Which reminds me Eric, your mom invited her over for dinner."
An absolute look of horror crossed Foreman's face as Hyde quickly left the basement. "What the Hell?" Donna demanded, "When we were dating Mrs. Foreman never invited me over to dinner!"
"Obviously you did not get the hint Donna!" Fez quipped as he stood, heading over to the door.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Donna demanded after his retreating back, turning back to her former Foreman boyfriend Donna reluctantly took a seat. "Hey when are we going to tell Kelso?"
**********
The Situation. The Foreman Residence, the basement, the circle:
Eric: Man can you imagine what it's going to be like when Kelso finds out.
Eric's fantasy:
Cue Music: Star Wars Theme
Roll Credits:
STAR WARS EPOSIDE ?
OBI WAN TO THE RESCUE.
HAN SOLO HAS BEEN CAPUTURED BY THE DARK FORCES. DARTH VADER PLANS TO USE THE PILOT IN HOPES OF CONVERTING HIM TO THE DARK WAYS.
Cue music: Vader's theme.
Cue opening scene:
Hyde sits in his usual chair within a metallic cell. He is dressed as Han solo instead of Obi Wan as previously seen. The cell door opens admitting a short female Darth Vader. She walks in slowly, her masked face glued to Hyde's form as she comes to a halt in front of her prisoner "Give it up Solo! You'll never resist the powers of the dark side."
"Whatever" Hyde declared as he raised his eyebrow at the short Darth Vader.
"Is that what you think?" Vader questioned, the small gloved hands grasped the helmet slowly pulling the heavy black object off. Once removed Jackie tossed her hair over her shoulders in slow motion. She walked slowly over to Hyde, making a show of straddling him.
"Ah damn!" Hyde cursed, obviously not resisting her anymore.
"No one can resist the dark side!" Jackie grinned, then slowly leans down and kisses him, her hands slipping beneath his vest to run along his quest.
The cell door suddenly burst open and in walks Kelso dressed as Obi Wan. "I've come to save you... oh sorry!" Kelso declared. "Didn't know you were busy. I'll come back later." He leaves.
End fantasy....
Donna: Eric I don't think anything like that would happen. I think he's going to be a little upset.
Donna's fantasy: The Foreman living room, in black and white.
Red and Kitty Foreman stand dressed in a 1940's fashion, Kitty is happily bouncing on her toes, waiting patiently. The kitchen door swung open, admitting Eric dressed in a world war two uniform. Donna followed after him, her face tear streaked, her lips a bright red from kisses.
Eric paused in front of Red slowly extending his hand, "Well dad! Our train's leaving soon, so I guess this is goodbye for now."
Red nodded taking the outstretched hand, "I'm proud of you son."
Kitty started to cry as she pulled her son into a tight embrace. "Oh my little boy's going to go save the world." She finally released him when Eric started to gasp for breath.
Donna walked up to Eric more tears slipping down her cheeks. "Come back to me Eric!" She started to say but then turned away from him, sobbing her heart out. The scrawny boy frowned as she gently pulled her back to him, his arms encircling her waist as he held tightly onto her form.
The Kitchen door suddenly swung open, admitting Hyde, also dressed in a uniform, with Jackie clinging to his arm desperately. They walked silently over to the Foreman's.
"Steven, I'm proud of you for doing what's right. I know for a second there you were debating heading for Canada, but you did the right thing." Red declared as he stepped forward to shake Hyde's hand.
Kitty started to bawl again, before awkwardly attempting to hug Hyde, only to find the Jackie wouldn't release him for even a second. Kitty finally stepped back, grabbing a hold of her husband.
Jackie started to sob, still clinging desperately to his form, "Ah damn, don't cry woman!" Hyde ordered as he wrapped both his arms around her small waist and crushed her protectively to his chest."
"I just don't understand why you have to leave me!" She sobbed into his shoulder, her fingers tightly gripping his uniform.
Hyde frowned. "Ah you're getting the uniform wet!" He declared as he pulled away from Jackie so he could gaze down into her face. "Okay look, this isn't easy for me to say, but since Donna has put me in this ridiculous situation were I could possibly be killed I'm going to say it. I love you!"
Jackie started to cry harder, latching back onto his form. Hyde rolled his eyes, lifting her chin she he could gaze back down into her wet eyes he whispered quietly. "I will come back!" He slowly bent his head, pressing his lips to her gently. Jackie responded, throwing her arms around his neck she deepened the kiss as Hyde wrapped his arms around her, lifting the small girl off her feet.
The kitchen door suddenly swung open admitting Kelso, also in uniform. "What the hell?" Kelso demanded forcing Hyde to pull away from Jackie. "What is my best friend doing kissing the girl I love?"
Jackie shifted, melting into Hyde's side as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "And in what universe was I ever your girl?" Jackie demanded, looking ever so pissed off and annoyed at the interruption of her academy award winning performance.
"Oh, right!" Kelso murmured shaking his head. "But anyway, it still hurts, cuz you know I liked you Jackie. I really wanted you and Hyde totally knew it and he went after you anyway."
Jackie raised an eyebrow, "Steven never went after me! I went after him. And who can resist me?"
Kelso nodded, immediately seeing her point, "Since you put it that way, I guess I'm over it." Kelso declared. "We'll I'm going to go find some other girl to make out with before we board the train."
A train conductor suddenly walked down the stairs as Kelso disappears back into the Kitchen. The train crashed through the living room wall, billowing smoke. "Oh that's going to ruin the furniture." Kitty yelled angrily watching as the train continued to billow steam blasts, while it crashed through the television. "Why couldn't they have taken a boat or something?"
"Yeah like that would be any better." Eric murmured under his breath, "If' we'd taken a boat half the house would be under water" Donna snickered in agreement.
The conductor walked over to the group, making a show of pulling out his watch, "All aboard, this is the last call, all aboard."
Jackie flung herself into Steven's arms, "Don't go."
Hyde rolled his eyes, prying the small girl off and handing her over to Mrs. Kitty. "Don't worry babe, I'll be back!"
Last goodbye were called out and the two soldiers boarded the trains, Hyde and Foreman stood on the steps, both their eyes glued to the small group as the train took off, billowing more furniture-ruining steam. Jackie clung to Mrs. Kitty sobbing, as Donna stood watching the now clear tracks that had passed through the Foreman living room. Several more minutes passed, the small group remained just absorbing the silence.
Kelso suddenly burst into the living room. "What the hell? I missed the train! Ah damn now I'm not going to get to make out with all those hot foreign chicks."
End fantasy.
Fez: No, you've got it all wrong!
Fez's fantasy:
Fez steps out into a spot light, "I see something more American, something that just says drama." The lights come up to revel that Fez is standing in the middle of a desert town, dressed as a cowboy. Behind him loomed the sheriff's office and just a few feet away a pristine church rose against the blue sky.
Kitty and Red exited from the church, their eyes going wide at the sight of all the sand. "Oh my god!" Kitty yelled, half horrified, half angry. "We'll never get rid of all this sand, and where's my furniture?" She demanded before storming back into the church. Red followed after her, mumbling about stupid dumb asses and their stupid fantasies.
Hyde suddenly stepped out of the Sheriff's office, dressed for his part as the local sheriff with a black cowboy hat on his head. He slowly walked over to Fez, "Man, are you sure you want me as sheriff? Wouldn't I be better as some really cool outlaw who storms into town and steals the heart of the local girl?"
Fez shook his head, "This is my fantasy you turn stealer."
Jackie appeared down the street walking towards them in a gingham dress and bonnet, carrying a basket laden with food. She walked angrily over to Hyde and thrust the basket out. "Here I slaved over a fire to make your freaken lunch. And Fez, can we have a little wardrobe change, this dress just isn't working for me."
Fez growled angrily, "This is my fantasy, now do as told!"
"Fine!" Jackie barked as she turned to face Hyde, who was gingerly picking through the basket. Jackie rolled her eyes and took a deep breath before she started to speak in a monotone, "Oh my handsome husband, my sheriff, I've missed you so much."
"Do it with a little feeling woman!" Fez barked, throwing his hat down for emphases.
Jackie rolled her eyes and put on a fake smile as she joyfully cried out, "Oh my handsome husband! My sheriff! I've missed you so much!" Stepping closer to Hyde she threw her arms around him and pulled him into a shocking kiss.
Eric and Donna rode up on a pair of black horses, Donna trying to fix her low cut saloon girl dress, while Eric sat dressed in black and melting under the heat.
"Where's Kelso?" Fez demanded looking down the streets, obviously getting rather pissed off.
Eric tugged at his collar, pointing down the way they'd just come. Kelso was a ways down the street clinging desperately to a horse, obviously terrified of the beast.
"Oh guys! Bandit gang! I need a little help here!" Kelso called, Eric rolled his eyes. Turning his own horse Eric galloped down the street and returned a second later leading his fearsome bandit leader, who sat clinging to his horse, terrified.
"Kelso just get off the damn horse!" Donna ordered, hiking up the bust line of her dress once again.
The man pretty bandit did as suggested, slowly sliding down the horse. Once his feet hit the ground, his confidence magically reappeared. He walked slowly over to where Hyde and Jackie stood, "Look here sheriff! I've had eyes on that woman of yours long before you ever noticed how hot she is."
"So!" Hyde declared, obviously unaffected by the chaffing group of bandits dressed in black.
"We'll I reckon I'll just take her then if you don't mind." Kelso laughed, Eric rolled his eyes, tugging once again at his collar. Donna was too busy trying to keep her dress from revealing too much to even notice the events.
"Whatever!" Was the only reply, as Hyde wrapped his arms protectively around his little woman.
Kelso laughed manically once again, obviously enjoying his roll. He quickly pulled out his gun and fired.
And missed Hyde by a couple of miles!
Hyde rolled his eyes, "Come on Jacks. Let's go eat!" Turning the pair entered the sheriff office, shutting the door behind them.
"You think they have air conditioning in there?" Eric asked, "Cuz if they do I have no qualms about joining their side. Maybe he needs a deputy!"
"That's not how it's supposed to end!" Kelso yelled angrily but stopped when Pam Macy suddenly walked by. Dressed as a saloon girl! "We'll hello pretty lady!" Kelso called, following after her.
End fantasy
Jackie sits there quietly on Hyde's lap, both of them staring at the three other teenagers like they've each gained another head.
Hyde: What the hell are you on?
Jackie: Okay Donna, Fez, you had some pretty good, but twisted ideas. Eric, well yours was just wrong. Personally I see something more along this way...
Jackie's fantasy:
Jackie stands in the middle of a field picking flowers. Hyde suddenly rides up on a white horse, dressed in shinning armor.
"Milady!" He calls out, jumping down from the horse and embracing her. "At last I have found thee."
End fantasy.
Eric: Okay where was Kelso's part in that story.
Donna: Maybe he was the horse!
Fez: No Donna, do not be ridiculous! He was the flowers that Jackie was picking and tossing aside.
Hyde grinned.
Jackie: No one said that man whore Kelso had to be in it!
**********
The Situation. The Foreman Residence:
The dinner table was quiet, Laurie sat silently beside Eric, her glare fixed on Jackie, who paid no attention to the blond slut but happily chatted away with Kitty. The rest of the table continued to eat silently.
Laurie leaned over to Eric quietly whispering, "What's Hyde's little virgin doing here?"
Eric glared at his demon sister, and suddenly paused, his gaze flickering between Jackie and Laurie. "You don't like her?" He questioned, obviously shocked, after all he was under the impression that sluts like them usually bonded.
"Of course not, she's a little goody-two-shoe virgin who called me the whore of Point Place and threatened to tell the world about the kind of diseases I spread if I ever so much as looked at Hyde." She paused for a second, "Why the hell I'm I telling you this." Laurie suddenly declared before turning back to dinner.
The world Eric saw seemed to morph..
Old View:
Darth Vader sat beside Han Solo with his arm causally draped around her shoulders. The Emperor Red laughed at one end of the table, while Kitty sat at the other end of the table dressed as an Imperial general. Beside him his storm trooper sister grumbled about that slut Darth Vader.
New View:
The Emperor Red still sat at the end of the table, Kitty still laughed but know seemed to be in her better mood, making her a Rebel general. Hyde was still Han Solo with his arm still draped over Jackie. But Jackie was no longer dressed as Vader; instead she was a rebel fighter pilot smiling happily at her Solo. For a second Eric didn't dare look at Laurie but then suddenly found the curiosity overwhelming. He found Darth Vader occupying the chair beside him..
Eric nearly jumped out of his chair, Darth Vader suddenly turned to him asked, "What the hell are you looking at me like that for?"
Next Chapter: The Not So Typical, Typical Foreman Christmas.
