Chapter 3: Of Hats and Preschool

A three-and-a half-year-old Edward was looking at the pictures of his soon- to-be classmates.
"Jonny 2x4, Edward Bad, Edward Dimm, Nazz Smith, and Kevin Williams," Edward read, among others. Then, he realized something. Everyone had hair on top of their heads, while he had a shiny, bald head, like his father, except for those three hairs on the back of his neck, and the fact that he did not have gangrene.
"Father?" Edward asked politely as his father was working in his lab. Mr. Maxwell jumped up, startled, before he realized that it was simply his son behind him.
"You know I don't like it when you interrupt my work, but what is it, son," he asked.
Later, Edward and his father reached a store called Peach Creek Hats, and Mr. Maxwell parked his brainwave-powered scooter right in front of it.
"Why hello there, Mr. Maxwell!" said the owner of the store, a burly man with an Australian accent, "How shall I serve you today?"
"Well, Mr. Buffer," Maxwell shifted uncomfortably, "My son, Edward, needs a hat before tomorrow, his first day of school, because he's bald, and is embarrassed by it."
"No prob!" said Mr. Buffer, "I'll find his perfect match! And with that, he strode Edward into the hat-trying room.
Mr. Buffer looked upon rows and rows of hats, all different colors, shapes, and sizes. He stood in deep thought for a long time before finally deciding on a big, blue cap.
"Here ya go!" he said as he put the cap on Edward.
"I can't see!" he yelped as he crashed into a wall. The cap covered his eyes.
"Nope, this won't do!" Mr. Buffer decided as he reached for another hat, a small, red fez. However, it didn't cover Edward's baldhead entirely, so he wanted another one. Mr. Buffer then gave him a pink sleeping cap, which he refused immediately. The next one was too heavy, the one after that was too loud, another one was really itchy, and the next one had lice in it. One by one, the hats were thrown in a failed pile, which steadily grew larger and larger. Finally, there was but a single hat left.
Mr. Buffer sighed, "I guess there's no hat that works for ya, Edward, you can go home now. That last hat, nobody will take, so its not worth tryin'." With that, the man cried and ran out of the building. Edward felt sorry for Mr. Buffer for a while, then realized that the last hat is worth a shot. He stood on his tip- toes and could just barely reach the black hat, which strangely looked like a sock. He fitted the sock-hat on his head, and suddenly felt a cozy warmness. It was perfect! From that moment on, Edward never took that hat of for any reason.
For the first time in his life, Edward was excited to go to school, now that he had a perfect hat to cover his baldhead. He skipped his way to Peach Creek Elementary while singing famous classical masterpieces. When he entered the building, however, his smile dropped.
"Heya, dork! What's up with the stupid hat?" mocked a red haired kid with a red cap as he pedaled on his tricycle and noticed Edward.
"Its my comfy hat!" he exclaimed. The kid just laughed. Meanwhile, Edward also noticed a blonde girl playing with a make-up set, a boy with a big head talking to a board of wood, and two more boys trying to construct something with blocks. Edward decided to join them.
"Hello there!" he said happily as he joined the two boys at the corner, "My name's Edward, what's yours'?"
"Buttered toast!" yelled the tall boy, then the short boy slapped him.
"Ed! He asked for your name!" he said angrily. Then he noticed Edward.
"Welcome to Ed's block store! Only five cents per block!"
Edward stared dumbfound, then said, "You're Edward, too?" Then he remembered the pictures.
"You're both Edwards? How intriguing!"
Ed and Eddy stared at Edward for his use of "intriguing", and then Eddy answered, "Well, yeah, but we call him Ed," he pointed to the tall boy, "and I'm Eddy. However, Edward won't cut it."
"What do you mean?" Edward asked.
"I mean, Edward sounds dorky," Eddy answered, "You need a nickname, like us, except different." Ed raised his hand and said, "Ooh, ooh, me me! I know a good name! How about Double-D?"
"Naah," said Eddy, "Just let me think for a second."
"I've got a better one; Double-D!" Ed said, "Or how about Double-D, or Double-D, or."
"FINE!!!" Eddy screamed, "We'll call him Double-D, just shut up, Ed!"
And for that day forward, Edward was called Double-D.