Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine and belong to Donald P. Bellisario. I am not making any money off of my story and don't intend to.

Rating: PG - Just about the same type of stuff you would see in a normal episode of JAG. There's no swearing, no sexual situations or anything. Just some romance, a little action.

This is my first fanfiction story and I hope all of you enjoy it. Feedback is definitely welcome.

Chapter 3: The Loneliness of Lost Chances

Bud and Harriet's car

Washington, D.C.

0530 EST

Bud's car couldn't go fast enough. It was extremely early in the morning, and though he felt tired, the events happening around him wasn't going to allow him to get much sleep. Their new baby had been up all night, so the call from the Admiral had not interrupted sleep at all. Once the baby calmed down, Harriet decided it was best for her to stay with the baby and get some rest while Bud drove to the hospital to receive the first reports of Harm's condition.

It had been so hard for Bud to deal with Harm's departure from the Navy, and everyday he had missed him. Harm was his mentor, a fellow officer, and, most importantly, his friend. Luckily, Harm had gotten himself back in the Navy eventually and it had seemed as if everything had gotten back on track. It even felt like most of the tension between Harm and Mac, Harm and the Admiral, between himself and Sturgis, had begun to resolve itself.

Now he found himself driving as fast as he could to the hospital to see a very seriously injured Harm. After everything had seemed to have gotten back on track, how could have all of it gone out of control so quickly?

OR Waiting Room, Hospital

Washington, D.C.

0600 EST

The waiting had become more and more difficult for Sturgis, Mac, and the Admiral. Sturgis was on his third magazine, and each time it had gotten harder and harder to read the articles. The Admiral had been gone for most of the time, and was only in the waiting room for a short while. Mac had walked a little on her own, but presently was sitting a few seats away from Sturgis. She had even dozed off a few times, though Harm's presence had not entered her dreams this time. There was no explanation as to the reason why she was having visions of Harm in such a way. Right now she wished that those visions would reappear, or even more wish that Harm could talk to her. His condition had awakened many emotions and old feelings that she had tried so hard to suppress in Paraguay, believing that a relationship with Harm would never work. Little did she know how hard Harm would take it, or of her own reservations about her comments.

Sturgis turned from his magazine to look at Mac. She had been alternating between sitting and standing all night. Her fatigue was quite apparent, but there was a strength in her eyes that Sturgis hadn't seen very often. Mac's marine training was not allowing her to fall asleep too long, and she wouldn't release the tension until she at least saw Harm. They were all tired, and the marathon waiting that had taken place thus far had taken a toll on all of them. Sturgis was finding it extremely difficult to stay awake himself, but he felt a need to stay awake as much as he could.

Mac stood up again, and this time she walked quietly over to the water cooler and got herself a drink. The water was very refreshing and it woke her up a little. Sturgis watched her and felt a need to ask about Paraguay. Neither Harm nor Mac had been very forthcoming about the events that conspired during their time there, and they claimed it was classified. However, Sturgis knew that the adventure they had was only half the story. Unfortunately, he found himself many times in the middle of Harm and Mac's many confrontations. He would always believe that such distractions were unprofessional in the JAG office. However, he also understood the tension only because he talked to both of them about the subject. He felt he had an innate ability to sense where they were because both had a tendency to confide in him, and being around them during those times makes it easier to sense.

"Mac?"

Mac turned to look at Sturgis. "Yeah?"

"How are you?"

Walking over to him and sitting down next to him, she just shrugged. "I guess as good as I can be with my best friend in a coma."

Sturgis nodded, and then remembered stories that he had been told about events such as these. "You've been through this before, haven't you?"

"When Harm was lost at sea," Mac remembered. She then stood up once again, walking over to the other side of the room. "It was a tough time for me. For all of us."

Sturgis pushed further. "You were supposed to get married, weren't you?"

Mac nodded, leaning up against the far wall. Suddenly all of those events flooded back to her. It had taken her months to get over Mic leaving, Harm abandoning her, and only rarely did she think of it. "I was, yes. But there were complications."

"Such as?"

"Why are you asking so many questions?" Mac asked, openly irritated.

Sturgis shrugged. "Just trying to get a picture of what happened. Wondering if there are any similarities to this."

"Only that Harm gets himself in trouble often."

"I've noticed that."

Mac looked away from Sturgis, again pacing a bit. "It feels like it was ages ago. A lot has changed."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

Sighing, Mac moved over to the water cooler and filled her glass again. Talking about almost losing Harm at sea, Paraguay, and now the recent events all involve one important element; expressing her feelings for Harm. It was something that she had always been afraid to do, just as Harm obviously has been concerning her. That fear, however, has kept them apart. They both like to be in control during their relationships, and that fact has caused them to agree time and time again about a variety of subjects involving their own friendship. Compromise has been the only way to solve the problem, as well as realizing they truly respect and love each other.

Mac finally answered. "Not really." She was never comfortable talking about it, not even with Harm. Sturgis, however, knows more than she may want, but he has been someone she felt she could talk to. He has kept her secret for quite some time concerning her true feelings for Harm.

"I haven't had a chance to talk to Harm about the events in Paraguay, not that he would tell me."

Mac smiled. "It's still classified."

Sturgis nodded, "I know. But I don't think the case you two were following has anything to do with the real events that you two are hiding."

"So much happened in Paraguay, Sturgis," Mac replied, content to say only that. Sturgis looked to his colleague, not entirely positive as to what he was sensing. Maybe sadness, maybe frustration, maybe anger. Whatever it was, she was determined to keep it to herself for awhile.

They were then interrupted by an exhausted Bud, who had felt like he had been running for days to get to the hospital as quickly as he could. "How is he?!"

"Not too good, Bud. But he made it through surgery," Mac replied.

Bud nodded, looking around anxiously. "Where's the Admiral?"

"He went for a walk," Sturgis commented.

"But he's back," the Admiral replied, coming around the corner to the waiting room. Bud shook his hand, warm but nervous smiles under the current circumstances.

There wasn't a lot of time for pleasantries, because the doctor suddenly appeared. "You can see Commander Rabb now, if you'd like."

Mac, Sturgis and Bud hurried past the doctor to Rabb's room, but the Admiral stayed behind to shake the doctor's hand. "Thanks."

Harm's OR Recovery Room, Hospital

Washington, D.C.

0610 EST

Mac, followed by Sturgis, then Bud, walked into the room to where Harm was recovering. He seemed to have a dozen tubes coming from him to various machines. It was a sight that Mac was not used to, and happy that she would never be. No one spoke as each continued to walk towards the patient, each taking a position around him. Bud was on his left, Sturgis at his foot, and Mac strayed to his right. It didn't take long for her to grab a hold of his hand, squeeze it, and hope that he would squeeze back.

The doctor showed up behind them, looking at his patient. "Some of the swelling to his brain has started to go down. However, as far as we can tell, no brain-damage. We've intibated him, helping him breathe for the moment. We're hoping to take him off the respirator soon."

"How soon?" Sturgis inquired.

"Within a couple of days."

Sturgis nodded, turning to look back at Harm. He looked extremely lifeless, as if those machines alone were keeping him alive and nothing else. Sturgis watched as Mac grabbed a chair and sat next to her partner. She continued to hold his hand, determined to keep her gaze on his face. Mac smiled at Harm, squeezing his hand tighter as she began to speak, "Hey, Harm. We're all here for you."

Bud then looked to the doctor, "Can he hear us, doctor?"

The doctor nodded, "There has been some indication that coma victims can."

Sturgis walked up beside Mac, gazing down at Harm himself. All of this would take days for them to get used to, Sturgis knew. Everything seemed so surreal at the moment, making it difficult to absorb the sight in front of him. After all that Harm had gone through this year, from being arrested for murder to losing his job in the Navy, one would think that he had gone through his share of hard times.

The Admiral looked to the doctor, "Thank you."

"Take your time." With that, the doctor left, leaving the four of them alone with their friend. The Admiral walked up to the foot of the bed to look at Harm, who continued to remain motionless. What was most surprising was the lack of motion among everyone else. The understanding of these events had finally caught up with them.

Sturgis was the first to move, looking over to the Admiral, "I think I should go to the office for awhile." There wasn't much more to be done, and Sturgis felt a need to go and do some work to get his mind away from these events. It had been overwhelming already, and diving into his work would be a short escape. He also knew that Mac needed time with Harm, by herself.

AJ nodded, and motioned for him to walk to the other side of the room with him. Sturgis followed, anxious to hear what the Admiral would say. "That's a good idea. I'm giving you point for the investigation. I want an objective look at this, Commander."

Sturgis nodded, "Yes, sir. What about the Colonel?"

AJ glanced over at her, continuing to hang on to the Commander's hand while she talked with Bud. "I haven't decided yet. I'll let you know." The Admiral had decided to keep Mac out of it, but he was having second thoughts. No matter what he ordered, he had a feeling Mac was going to find herself amidst the investigation. It would be difficult for her to stay away.

"Aye, aye, sir." With that, Sturgis left.

Mac looked to see him leave, glancing to the Admiral. "Why did Commander Turner leave, sir?"

Walking over to the Colonel, the Admiral replied, "He wanted to go to the office for awhile."

Mac nodded, glancing again at Harm. Why did this all have to happen now? It had taken them months to be at good terms with each other. Why did so much get in the way? She felt helpless, unable to find any way to help the situation. All there was for her to do was sit next to her best friend, something that she intended to do for quite some time. Maybe she would leave eventually, but felt she was needed here the most.

As the first hour passed, and soon the second, Mac didn't move at all, while Bud found himself a chair to sit in, had gotten some coffee for everyone, and stared off into space. The Admiral had paced some, sat down, and paced some more. Bud found himself needing to leave, too, only because he wanted to make sure Harriet was ok. He also knew cases were in need of his attention, and strived for the same solitude in them that Sturgis had searched for hours earlier. He spoke to the Admiral quickly and left.

The third hour came and went, and the Admiral knew it was time for him to leave, as well. It was now 0900, and he too needed to go home, take a shower, and get to work. He was the Judge Advocate General, and many things needed his attention today. He walked over to the Colonial, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow." Mac finally gazed away from Harm to look up at the Admiral, who gave her a nod and left. Mac just watched him leave, now realizing she was alone.