Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine and belong to Donald P.
Bellisario. I am not making any money off of my story and don't intend to.
Rating: PG - Just about the same type of stuff you would see in a normal episode of JAG. There's no swearing, no sexual situations or anything. Just some romance, a little action.
This is my first fanfiction story and I hope all of you enjoy it. Feedback is definitely welcome.
Chapter 4: Reasons
Harm's Recovery Room
Hospital, Washington D.C.
1200 EST
It didn't take long for Mac to fall asleep. The night had been long and emotionally draining, and her body urged her to slumber. Though the previous times had left her in a dreamless sleep, this time was by far different. The familiar view of Harm's apartment came into view, and she found herself at the top of his short stairs. Walking down into his kitchen, the first stimulant was to her nose in the common smell of salmon. Harm loved salmon, and considering he didn't eat any red meat, he made it a point to know how to cook salmon twelve different ways. This time it smelled Cajun. She smiled as Harm came into view, seeing him cooking and happy. It was something he loved to do and found enjoyment in.
"I see nothing changes, not even in the unconscious," Mac said, stepping closer to him.
Harm looked up, giving her a wry smile. "Hey, there's not much to do. Where did you go, anyway?"
Mac sat down on the bar stool across from him at the island in the middle of his kitchen. "Harm, this is absurd. Whether it's you or me, or both, we're dreaming."
"Dreaming about me isn't new to you, is it?"
"I think we're in your dream," Mac retorted.
Harm just smiled, continuing to work with his meal. "So what have you found out?"
Mac shook her head, "Not much. You're seriously injured, Harm. How you ended up this way is still a mystery. Do you remember anything?"
"No," came Harm's simple response.
"Are you sure, Harm? Because anything would ." before she could finish, Harm interrupted her briskly.
"I told you, Mac, I don't remember anything. Can we just eat?"
Mac didn't realize how far along Harm was with the meal. "Sure."
Harm set the food on the already set table. Must be Harm had been expecting her, because the table was effectively set for two. This had all gotten more and more interesting by the minute.
Mac went over to sit at the table as Harm put his apron away and sat next to her. The food did smell good, and Mac was finding it difficult to remember that this was all just a dream. Harm and Mac began to eat in silence. It didn't take long for Harm to break the silence, however, feeling a need to talk to Mac as much as he could. "How am I doing?"
"Okay," Mac answered, choosing not to look him directly in the eyes.
Harm shook his head. "That bad, huh?"
"No, really, you're ." Mac began, but was interrupted quickly by Harm.
"I know that look. It's ok. I want you to tell me the truth."
At that Mac looked up at him. "You're still in a coma, had some internal bleeding. And you were shot." Mac looked up at him with that last statement, expecting to see surprise, but he just merely nodded. Now Mac was convinced that he knew more than he was letting on.
Harm looked down at his food, feeling a small sadness come over him. What were the chances that he wouldn't make it? Why was here? Was the dreaming a way for him to say goodbye? Is that what this is all for? To make amends? Not just through Mac to other people, but to Mac herself? Was he ready to do that?
"You okay?" came the concerned voice beside him.
"Yeah, sure." Harm lied, not sure what to make of his feelings. He also did not feel comfortable talking to Mac right now about personal issues. Ever since Paraguay, it had become increasingly hard to confide in her. At one time, he went to her about every little detail of his life, which explains why she knows him so well. But now, when his life is in trouble, he stills sees the woman who broke his heart and chose another man over him. "Why aren't you with your precious Webb?" Harm asked, feeling a need to change the attention from him to Mac.
Mac just shook her head at his comment, ignoring it as she did every other one. She, too, had been unable to confide in Harm about much lately, despite the decent state of their friendship. Since she rarely talked to him, Harm didn't know that the relationship between Mac and Webb never took place. It never got off the ground because of her unwillingness to trust Webb, and though she felt Harm probably had a right to know, his attitude kept her from supplying him the information. If his stubbornness continues, she will refuse to tell him and let him think what he wants.
"How is your relationship going, anyway? Married yet?" Harm asked roughly, pressing the issue further.
Mac sighed. "Why can't you remember what happened to you?"
"Why are you avoiding the question?"
"Stop avoiding mine!" Mac stated firmly.
Harm smirked. "Trouble in paradise, I see." He took another bit of his salmon, then stood up to go to the refrigerator.
"Still think you know everything, don't you?"
Harm shrugged, grabbing wine out of the refrigerator. "Because I usually do."
"Then why can't you tell me about the accident?"
"Why can't you tell me about Webb?" Harm shot back.
Mac threw her napkin to the floor and stood up. "For once in your life, Harm, stop avoiding the issues. Stop blaming everyone else but yourself. Get your head out of your six and realize you didn't win me in Paraguay. Realize why you have so much trouble with women. Why can't you state your feelings, Harm? You were so angry with me in Paraguay because I didn't want a relationship, but the fact is you never asked. You stopped short when it mattered. You saved my life, wonderful. I thank you. There was something else there, Harm, something was driving you. And when you can tell me what it is, and get off the top, let me know. Maybe I'll be in the mood to listen."
With that, Mac proceeded towards the door and opened it. However, Harm was there and stopped her quickly. He looked at her, feeling a pang of guilt and frustration. So many emotions were running through them right now. The truth was he didn't want her to leave. He wanted her to stay with him, be with him. He had missed her, missed talking to her, confiding in her, eating dinner with her. His need for her had not changed. Harm held Mac's gaze, and replied, "Don't leave."
"Give me a reason to stay."
Harm looked down, trying to think of a way to answer. He wanted to say because he loved her, he needed her, that he was scared, but none of that wanted to come out. Instead he just sighed, wishing that he could just show his cards without being scared, without being worried that showing them would cost him her friendship. He decided it best to just say what he could. "Because I miss you."
Before Mac could react, her mind was urging her awake. No matter how much she wanted to fight it, the dream was beginning to fall away. The last thing she saw as her mind drifted was Harm's worried face.
Harm's Recovery Room, Hospital
Washington
10:00 PM EST
Mac suddenly realized she was awake. Her head had been resting on a pillow, and already her neck was screaming with pain. Eyes shifting around the room, she inevitably saw the same sight she had seen all day. Looking at her watch, she suddenly realized that she had been asleep for quite some time. Despite the amount of sleep, she was still quite exhausted. So exhausted that she didn't realize that someone else was in the room.
"Ma'am?" came the concerned response. Immediately, she knew who it was.
"Harriet," she replied, turning to look at the other woman. She was dressed warmly, as if she had just walked in. That made Mac feel a little better that she hadn't slept through Harriet's entire visit. Smiling, Mac finally stood up after sitting for hours on end next to her beloved partner. Harriet watched her, seeing the wear of a long night and the worries of a friend. There wasn't much she could say.
"Maybe you should go home and get some rest, Ma'am," Harriet offered. The suggestion was tempting, but Mac didn't feel right leaving Harm. Even after the dream-like fight she had just had, it had proven that Harm still cared deeply for her, as she did for him.
Mac knew, however, that she needed to get away from the hospital. It was beginning to consume her, and leaving for awhile was the best solution. She bent down close to Harm, kissed him tenderly on the cheek, and stood back up. He looked very weak, and Mac was going to be strong for him. She moved away from him towards Harriet, who couldn't hide her concern for either the Commander of the Colonel. Both needed comforting.
Continuing to the door, Mac looked back to Harriet, who had not moved. "Will you walk with me to my car?"
Harriet nodded, "Of course, ma'am. Sorry."
With that, they left.
Mac's Apartment
Georgetown
11:00 PM EST
The apartment was in the same state as Mac had left it. Her bed sheets were all awry from her quick departure, as were clothes all thrown throughout her bedroom. It didn't take long for Mac to move to the bathroom to take a long shower, the water beating away at her back at a massaging rhythm. She concentrated solely on the water and it's soothing affect that it had on her. It almost allowed her to forget everything of the past day. She could even almost feel Harm there, with her, arms encircling her, being with her as she so often felt she needed and never received. Her longing for him increased, though she knew current circumstances were heightening that need.
After the shower, Mac made herself cocoa, feeling the comfort of the chocolate reaching throughout her entire body. She set one of her more comforting chairs beside a window and, taking a blanket, wrapped herself in it, content on gazing at the endless stars in the clear, cold night. Her mind and body would not find the rest it needed tonight. The concern she had for her friend, the need to be with him, and the undying worry for his life allowed insomnia to take hold of her. Mac was alone in that long, unforgettable night, her thoughts never leaving Harm, waiting patiently for dawn to approach.
Rating: PG - Just about the same type of stuff you would see in a normal episode of JAG. There's no swearing, no sexual situations or anything. Just some romance, a little action.
This is my first fanfiction story and I hope all of you enjoy it. Feedback is definitely welcome.
Chapter 4: Reasons
Harm's Recovery Room
Hospital, Washington D.C.
1200 EST
It didn't take long for Mac to fall asleep. The night had been long and emotionally draining, and her body urged her to slumber. Though the previous times had left her in a dreamless sleep, this time was by far different. The familiar view of Harm's apartment came into view, and she found herself at the top of his short stairs. Walking down into his kitchen, the first stimulant was to her nose in the common smell of salmon. Harm loved salmon, and considering he didn't eat any red meat, he made it a point to know how to cook salmon twelve different ways. This time it smelled Cajun. She smiled as Harm came into view, seeing him cooking and happy. It was something he loved to do and found enjoyment in.
"I see nothing changes, not even in the unconscious," Mac said, stepping closer to him.
Harm looked up, giving her a wry smile. "Hey, there's not much to do. Where did you go, anyway?"
Mac sat down on the bar stool across from him at the island in the middle of his kitchen. "Harm, this is absurd. Whether it's you or me, or both, we're dreaming."
"Dreaming about me isn't new to you, is it?"
"I think we're in your dream," Mac retorted.
Harm just smiled, continuing to work with his meal. "So what have you found out?"
Mac shook her head, "Not much. You're seriously injured, Harm. How you ended up this way is still a mystery. Do you remember anything?"
"No," came Harm's simple response.
"Are you sure, Harm? Because anything would ." before she could finish, Harm interrupted her briskly.
"I told you, Mac, I don't remember anything. Can we just eat?"
Mac didn't realize how far along Harm was with the meal. "Sure."
Harm set the food on the already set table. Must be Harm had been expecting her, because the table was effectively set for two. This had all gotten more and more interesting by the minute.
Mac went over to sit at the table as Harm put his apron away and sat next to her. The food did smell good, and Mac was finding it difficult to remember that this was all just a dream. Harm and Mac began to eat in silence. It didn't take long for Harm to break the silence, however, feeling a need to talk to Mac as much as he could. "How am I doing?"
"Okay," Mac answered, choosing not to look him directly in the eyes.
Harm shook his head. "That bad, huh?"
"No, really, you're ." Mac began, but was interrupted quickly by Harm.
"I know that look. It's ok. I want you to tell me the truth."
At that Mac looked up at him. "You're still in a coma, had some internal bleeding. And you were shot." Mac looked up at him with that last statement, expecting to see surprise, but he just merely nodded. Now Mac was convinced that he knew more than he was letting on.
Harm looked down at his food, feeling a small sadness come over him. What were the chances that he wouldn't make it? Why was here? Was the dreaming a way for him to say goodbye? Is that what this is all for? To make amends? Not just through Mac to other people, but to Mac herself? Was he ready to do that?
"You okay?" came the concerned voice beside him.
"Yeah, sure." Harm lied, not sure what to make of his feelings. He also did not feel comfortable talking to Mac right now about personal issues. Ever since Paraguay, it had become increasingly hard to confide in her. At one time, he went to her about every little detail of his life, which explains why she knows him so well. But now, when his life is in trouble, he stills sees the woman who broke his heart and chose another man over him. "Why aren't you with your precious Webb?" Harm asked, feeling a need to change the attention from him to Mac.
Mac just shook her head at his comment, ignoring it as she did every other one. She, too, had been unable to confide in Harm about much lately, despite the decent state of their friendship. Since she rarely talked to him, Harm didn't know that the relationship between Mac and Webb never took place. It never got off the ground because of her unwillingness to trust Webb, and though she felt Harm probably had a right to know, his attitude kept her from supplying him the information. If his stubbornness continues, she will refuse to tell him and let him think what he wants.
"How is your relationship going, anyway? Married yet?" Harm asked roughly, pressing the issue further.
Mac sighed. "Why can't you remember what happened to you?"
"Why are you avoiding the question?"
"Stop avoiding mine!" Mac stated firmly.
Harm smirked. "Trouble in paradise, I see." He took another bit of his salmon, then stood up to go to the refrigerator.
"Still think you know everything, don't you?"
Harm shrugged, grabbing wine out of the refrigerator. "Because I usually do."
"Then why can't you tell me about the accident?"
"Why can't you tell me about Webb?" Harm shot back.
Mac threw her napkin to the floor and stood up. "For once in your life, Harm, stop avoiding the issues. Stop blaming everyone else but yourself. Get your head out of your six and realize you didn't win me in Paraguay. Realize why you have so much trouble with women. Why can't you state your feelings, Harm? You were so angry with me in Paraguay because I didn't want a relationship, but the fact is you never asked. You stopped short when it mattered. You saved my life, wonderful. I thank you. There was something else there, Harm, something was driving you. And when you can tell me what it is, and get off the top, let me know. Maybe I'll be in the mood to listen."
With that, Mac proceeded towards the door and opened it. However, Harm was there and stopped her quickly. He looked at her, feeling a pang of guilt and frustration. So many emotions were running through them right now. The truth was he didn't want her to leave. He wanted her to stay with him, be with him. He had missed her, missed talking to her, confiding in her, eating dinner with her. His need for her had not changed. Harm held Mac's gaze, and replied, "Don't leave."
"Give me a reason to stay."
Harm looked down, trying to think of a way to answer. He wanted to say because he loved her, he needed her, that he was scared, but none of that wanted to come out. Instead he just sighed, wishing that he could just show his cards without being scared, without being worried that showing them would cost him her friendship. He decided it best to just say what he could. "Because I miss you."
Before Mac could react, her mind was urging her awake. No matter how much she wanted to fight it, the dream was beginning to fall away. The last thing she saw as her mind drifted was Harm's worried face.
Harm's Recovery Room, Hospital
Washington
10:00 PM EST
Mac suddenly realized she was awake. Her head had been resting on a pillow, and already her neck was screaming with pain. Eyes shifting around the room, she inevitably saw the same sight she had seen all day. Looking at her watch, she suddenly realized that she had been asleep for quite some time. Despite the amount of sleep, she was still quite exhausted. So exhausted that she didn't realize that someone else was in the room.
"Ma'am?" came the concerned response. Immediately, she knew who it was.
"Harriet," she replied, turning to look at the other woman. She was dressed warmly, as if she had just walked in. That made Mac feel a little better that she hadn't slept through Harriet's entire visit. Smiling, Mac finally stood up after sitting for hours on end next to her beloved partner. Harriet watched her, seeing the wear of a long night and the worries of a friend. There wasn't much she could say.
"Maybe you should go home and get some rest, Ma'am," Harriet offered. The suggestion was tempting, but Mac didn't feel right leaving Harm. Even after the dream-like fight she had just had, it had proven that Harm still cared deeply for her, as she did for him.
Mac knew, however, that she needed to get away from the hospital. It was beginning to consume her, and leaving for awhile was the best solution. She bent down close to Harm, kissed him tenderly on the cheek, and stood back up. He looked very weak, and Mac was going to be strong for him. She moved away from him towards Harriet, who couldn't hide her concern for either the Commander of the Colonel. Both needed comforting.
Continuing to the door, Mac looked back to Harriet, who had not moved. "Will you walk with me to my car?"
Harriet nodded, "Of course, ma'am. Sorry."
With that, they left.
Mac's Apartment
Georgetown
11:00 PM EST
The apartment was in the same state as Mac had left it. Her bed sheets were all awry from her quick departure, as were clothes all thrown throughout her bedroom. It didn't take long for Mac to move to the bathroom to take a long shower, the water beating away at her back at a massaging rhythm. She concentrated solely on the water and it's soothing affect that it had on her. It almost allowed her to forget everything of the past day. She could even almost feel Harm there, with her, arms encircling her, being with her as she so often felt she needed and never received. Her longing for him increased, though she knew current circumstances were heightening that need.
After the shower, Mac made herself cocoa, feeling the comfort of the chocolate reaching throughout her entire body. She set one of her more comforting chairs beside a window and, taking a blanket, wrapped herself in it, content on gazing at the endless stars in the clear, cold night. Her mind and body would not find the rest it needed tonight. The concern she had for her friend, the need to be with him, and the undying worry for his life allowed insomnia to take hold of her. Mac was alone in that long, unforgettable night, her thoughts never leaving Harm, waiting patiently for dawn to approach.
