Whoa... I'd better post this quick! Sounds like the last cliff hanger was a bit much, huh? Sorry! I hope it wasn't too confusing- I know it was hard to tell what was going on when, but I think this should clear it up..........
Thanks for all the reviews!!!!
P.S. For those of you that asked, I worked another flashback into the next chapter!!! I hope to post that one soon.
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Dally came around the corner and jumped back in surprise at seeing someone in the kitchen... Someone with a knife.
"Johnny?"
Johnny's eyes closed, he let out his breath and the switchblade fell to the floor. The room was spinning and his whole body ached.
"What are you doing? I thought you were at school!" Dally walked quickly over to where Johnny was sitting and got down in front of him.
Johnny leaned over with his head in his hands. "I didn't go. I didn't feel good."
Dally was already feeling his forehead and the sides of his face. "You're burning up, kid!" he exclaimed.
Johnny let his head fall back on the cabinets and closed his eyes.
"And you're bleeding! Johnnycake, what happened?" Dally looked around. There was blood all over the floor and broken glass everywhere. And then he caught sight of the telephone dangling from it's cord. He walked over to it slowly and picked it up. Then he turned and looked down at Johnny. "You got another phone call, didn't you?"
Johnny nodded. He tried to look like it didn't matter, like he was only sick, not scared to death. He didn't want Dally to think he couldn't handle this. Dally could handle it, if he were in the situation, Johnny thought.
Dally whirled around suddenly and slammed the phone down on the receiver so hard that Johnny thought the whole thing would go right through the wall. "If I get my hands on the..." Dally let loose a string of curses and threats that would've impressed the devil himself.
Johnny was frightened by this reaction for a moment, but composed himself when he realized the rage was not directed at him.
Dally steadied himself and took a breath before turning back to Johnny. "All right, look, let's get you over to the couch," Dally said. He slid his arm around Johnny's back and gently lifted him to his feet. When he was sure that he was steady enough to walk, Dally lead him back to the livingroom. He left Johnny briefly and returned with a couple of wet cloths and bandages from the bathroom.
It was amazing, Johnny thought, how he could go from seething anger to seemingly calm in just a few seconds. But Johnny knew it was a front. Dally was still mad. He was containing it, for the moment, and Johnny had a bad feeling that he was about to have the same confrontation with Dally that he'd just had with Darry. Only worse.
Johnny closed his eyes and sat back against the cushions of the couch.
Dally laid the first cloth on his forehead. "You OK, kid?" he asked softly.
Johnny nodded but didn't open his eyes.
Dally took Johnny's hand and pressed the other cloth over the wound. Johnny yelped and sat up, gritting his teeth together. Dally gripped his shoulder, but didn't let go of his hand.
"Sorry, kid. C'mon, hold still, I know it hurts..."
Johnny squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to pull away.
After a minute or two, Dally closed Johnny's fingers over the cloth. "There... hold it like that for a little while.... you'll be OK."
Then Dally got up. Johnny was leaning forward now, his head down and his eyes still shut, but he could hear Dally pacing. Here it comes, he thought.
Johnny looked awful. Dally felt bad, but he wasn't letting this go any further than it already had. He decided not to mention the beer can that he'd found that was leading him to believe that this mess might not have anything to do with Johnny's parents after all. It could turn out to be unrelated and his theories would just end up scaring Johnny unnecessarily.
"All right now look," Dally started out softly, but Johnny could hear the edge building in his voice. "I just found you sitting on the kitchen floor, scared to death and holding a switchblade out at me. This has gone too far, Johnny. I want you to tell me what is going on."
Dally hated using that tone with him, but he needed to know. He was scared out of his mind for the kid, and he knew the only way to protect him was to figure out what he wasn't telling anyone.
"Nothing's going on."
Dally glared at him. "Don't lie to me! Something is going on and it's time to fess up, kiddo."
Johnny just stared at the bloody cloth in his hand. He wanted to tell Dally so badly...
"Keeping quiet is not going to cut it anymore. Johnny, I want to know what's bothering you," Dally continued stubbornly.
Johnny paused a moment. He looked briefly at Dally. He's not going to give in this time, Johnny thought. I'm going to have to tell him something.... "My parents..." Oh my gosh.... I can't lie to Dally... I can't...
Johnny couldn't finish what he'd started. Unfortunately, a few words had already gotten out.
Dally lifted Johnny's chin and looked at his eyes. Johnny couldn't meet his gaze. Dally set his jaw and shook his head. "Nope. Try again."
Johnny was starting to shake. He felt as though he were being torn in half- he had a killer stalking him and Ponyboy telling him to keep his mouth shut and he had the person he admired more than anyone else on Earth demanding that Johnny tell him what was going on. He didn't know what to do. His eyes were filling with tears that he stubbornly held back.
It practically killed Dally to know that he was the one causing them. "Johnny, look, I know you're scared, but I can't do anything to help you if I don't know what's going on!" he said. He tried to keep his tone soft, the last thing in the world he wanted to do was to scare Johnny, but he was getting pretty angry.
"I ain't scared," Johnny lied.
"Then tell me what is going on!"
"I..I can't..."
"WHY NOT???" Dally demanded. "I don't get it, Johnny. Look, can you just tell me what this is about?"
Johnny shook his head.
Dally ran his hand through his hair. Then he looked calmly at Johnny. But Johnny recognized that look. Dally was not happy. And if he were anyone else, Johnny knew he'd be in big trouble right now.
"I don't care if I have to wait here for the rest of the day," Dally started out quietly, but his voice rose until he was almost yelling. "Hell, I'll wait for the rest of the week! I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me what is going on!"
"If I tell you....." Johnny swallowed and took a deep breath.
Dally knew he had him backed into a corner. He hated what he was doing.
Johnny continued. "If I tell you, Ponyboy's life might be in danger...."
"What do you mean, kid?" Dally lowered his voice.
"I mean, "Johnny was steadying his voice carefully. "that if I tell you, someone will hurt Ponyboy."
Something in his tone surprised Dally. Johnny was actually angry with him. Dally couldn't blame him, really. But it was strange to hear anger in Johnny's voice, especially directed at him. And the few glances he got from Johnny were not the usual defeated, sad looking eyes that he was used to seeing. There was a determined defensiveness in them. This was not going to be as easy as he had thought. If the information he was keeping was to protect someone else, especially Ponyboy, he might not give in no matter what Dally did. This only made Dally more insistent.
"Dammit Johnny! You need to tell me what is going on! No one's gonna hurt Ponyboy! And you know what? If they are, then you need to tell us! You can't protect him alone! You can't even take care of yourself right now!" Dally was yelling, desperately now.
Johnny was looking away from him. "That doesn't matter..." he said softly.
"What do you mean 'that doesn't matter'?"
Johnny could barely hold back his tears. Suddenly he turned on Dally with a look he'd never had in his eyes before. "You know exactly what I mean! If something happens to Ponyboy, Darry and Soda would die! And that kid's got something that could get him out of this place. He's smart, he's not a greaser. And he's got a family that cares about him that's been through way too much already!" he was screaming, he realized. He sucked in his breath and looked towards the window. He had to be quieter. He lowered his voice. "If something happens to me, it doesn't matter. My parents won't even know I'm gone. But I can't let someone hurt Pony.... he's all they've got left..."
Johnny leaned back against the pillow. He had never, never in his life spoken to anyone that way. And especially not to Dallas Winston. Screaming at Dallas Winston. Smart. What was he in for now, he thought. But part of him didn't care. He was too tired, too emotionally drained. He didn't care that he was almost crying. He just didn't care. He wished Dally would just slug him and go away.
Dally took him roughly by the shoulders, "Don't you talk that way! The boys would know you were gone!" he said indignantly. Dally swore at himself. For crying out loud, why couldn't he just tell him? Why was he so afraid to show anyone that he cared? And then he realized, this was why... because when you care, you get hurt. He thought about that for a brief instant. He could let go of Johnny and walk away right now and become the Dallas Winston that everyone knew. But he looked at Johnny's tearful eyes, still looking away from him, and knew that it was too late for that. And now he had a choice. Expose his human side or risk losing the people he cared about. Ponyboy and Johnny were in trouble, which meant the whole gang was in trouble, really. If anything happened to either one of them....
"Are... are you mad?" Johnny's voice was almost a whisper. He knew the answer before he even asked. He hated for anyone to be angry with him, especially Dally. But in this situation, he had no other choice. And even losing Dally's respect couldn't make him do anything to bring harm to Ponyboy.
"Yes!" Dally growled, standing up and pacing the floor again. He pushed his hair back in exasperation.
Johnny's brow wrinkled slightly as he hung his head.
Dally's heart sank. Now look what you've done, he thought to himself. He walked over to the couch where Johnny sat and plopped down beside him.
Johnny flinched and drew in a quick breath. He was getting a bit nervous about Dally's temper. He had seen Dally mad at people before.... it wasn't pretty. Although, Johnny thought, I wouldn't blame him if he hauled off and slugged me good.
Dally decided that it was probably not possible to feel worse than he did right then. Keeping his voice down now was not going to help. It was too late, he could tell he was scaring Johnny.
"Johnny," he said softly. "C'mon, I wouldn't hurt you kid, you know that don't you?"
Johnny thought for a second. He probably did know that, but sometimes he wasn't sure. Nobody could really push Dally too far and he'd never tried to, but he could certainly get away with a lot more than most people could. He wasn't sure why, but Pony's Mom had noticed that too. She'd said something about it to him once, he couldn't remember exactly what.
But he didn't respond. He just kept looking at the buttons on the couch.
"Let me see that cut," Dally said reaching out his hand.
Johnny extended his hand, still clutching the bloody cloth, still not making eye contact with Dally.
Dally sighed and gently pried Johnny's fingers from the cloth. He continued talking as he bandaged the cut. "I'm not going to lie to you kid. I am mad.... I'm mad because you're scaring the hell out of me, Johnnycake!" Dally struggled to admit what he was going through.
Johnny glanced at him, just for a second, out of the corner of his eye. That comment surprised him.
"I've never been more afraid of anything in my life... You say nobody would know if you were gone, well damn, Johnny! I would know! I would know. Johnnycake, I don't want anything to happen to you." he said softly, pleadingly. He finished with the bandage and let go of Johnny's hand.
Johnny finally turned and looked at him, curiously. Some of the hurt had disappeared from his eyes.
Dally rubbed his eyes. He had a terrible headache. He didn't feel stress often, but when he did, it always gave him a headache. But he had finally gotten Johnny's attention and he had to go on. "I lost my family too. A long time ago. Not like the Curtises, but you know what I mean," he said, looking at the ground. "I don't even remember if I ever had one."
Now Johnny was staring at him like he had grown a third eye.
Dally half smiled. And he kept going, this time looking directly at Johnny. "But I have this one baby brother that I'd do anything for, but I guess he doesn't know it.... Johnnycake, you're all I've got left."
Johnny eyes widened in astonishment, and then he remembered. He remembered as though it had been yesterday what Mrs. Curtis had said to him.
He loves you like you were his own little brother...
Johnny had thought she was nuts, but she'd been right... The tears that he had so vehemently been trying to control finally escaped. He choked back a sob and dropped his head into his hands.
Now Dally really didn't know what to do. "Aww, Johnny... C'mon, kid.... don't.... It's all right." Dally moved a little closer and pulled Johnny towards him. "C'mere.."
Johnny leaned towards Dally and buried his face in his shoulder.
Dally hugged him and rubbed his back like he'd seen Darry do. He didn't know how to comfort anyone. He'd never done it before. But Johnny needed it so bad, he couldn't just let him sit there. He could feel Johnny's tears soaking through his shirt. And he felt so much anguish building up inside him that he found tears welling up in his own eyes.
But he wouldn't let any fall. Nope, Dallas Winston had to protect his image, he thought bitterly. He loved that kid so much, he just didn't want to admit it because of his damned reputation. And sometimes, he admitted to himself, he was just plain selfish. And look where it left Johnny... alone, scared, helpless... Dally's guilt washed over him like a wave. But he had to stay tough... It was the only way for him to survive in the life he lived. Part of him wanted Johnny to toughen up- get a little meaner, a little more indifferent. But then he wouldn't be Johnny anymore. Dally tried to put the thoughts out of his mind. Just for a few seconds, he wouldn't be cold, mean Dallas Winston... He'd be Johnny's big brother. He held Johnny and let him cry, resting his chin on the top of Johnny's head. "It's all right, Johnny. Shhh..."
A low rumble of thunder off in the distance brought Dally back to reality. As much as he would have liked to give Johnny some more time to calm down, there wasn't any more time. He mustered some control, pushed Johnny back gently and took his face in both hands, wiping away some of his tears.
"Now listen," he said, making Johnny look at him. "You need to trust me. I don't know what or who is making you think you can't tell us what's going on, but I can promise you that's only going to make things worse. I'd like to think that you feel like you could trust me, but right now, that's not the issue. I don't care who you tell, but tell someone, Johnnycake. Darry, Soda, one of the boys... But now you understand that I'm not going to just drop this, don't you?"
There was pain and guilt written all over Johnny's face. He still wasn't going to open his mouth and now it was just going to eat him up inside.
This isn't working, Dally thought. He had to convince Johnny to tell him for Pony's sake, not for himself. He knew because he would do the same thing in Johnny's position. If keeping a secret kept Johnny and Pony from getting hurt, he would take it to his grave. He would do anything to protect those kids, even if it meant danger to himself. He had to approach the problem from a different angle.
"You can't protect Ponyboy all by yourself, and I've got a gut feeling that whatever is going on is pretty bad, isn't it?" he asked.
Johnny looked at him for a second and then nodded hesitantly.
"What if keeping this secret ends up hurting Ponyboy instead of helping him? Is that possible?" Dally asked.
And Johnny's expression changed. Very subtly, but Dally caught it. There was some hope yet....
