Anime Weekend Chapter 17: Blackmail & Boredom
Disclaimer: (walks out with a clipboard, dressed in a business suit, hair in a bun) Mae:This is here for two reasons. First to re-affirm that I do not, I repeat do not, own Gundam wing. Therefore no one can sue me for infringement of copyright law..(turning page on clipboard)..or whatever. Second is to provide some minor amusement before the actual story. So for those waiting for the insane comments I present my muse Beytra, reciting a riddle that was originated by the founder of my high school group. As an extra if you are not one of my friends and you know the answer I will write something special just for you. You can make your guesses in your reveiws, and now Beytra...
Beytra: About time you useless extension of 'my' creative genius.
Mae: You know I can banish you into an oubliette, with no one but Tamahome and Miaka for company.
Beytra(shuddering): Fine. (clearing throat) "If you're walking through the Grand Canyon and the wheels fall off your canoe, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog's house?"
Mae: As stated before make your guesses with your reveiws. More than likely the answer will be given in the next chapter, depending on how many reviews there are...and now the story...
(When last seen our heroes and heroines were almost caught by Treize, Zechs and a troupe of OZ soldiers at the Renn Faire, but were saved by a horde of savages who thundered down and captured OZ...We now rejoin our friends in the living room of the house sitting around, still in their Renn wear, catching their breath from the narrow escape...)
Duo: Man that was almost too close.. (Crystal whispers something to Mina and Mae, all three start laughing hysterically)
Shannon(rolling eyes): Great they've lost it. (Crystal rolls out of her chair laughing)
Mae(between gasping laughter): Matt...savage...Crys...favor...torture... (she disolves into more laughter)
Quatre(frowning): Torture? What do you mean?
Mina(gasping as well): ...Make- up...dresses...pics...net...copies...mail...(she and Mae join Crystal on the floor clutching their sides with laughter)
Duo: Huh?!
Shannon(struggling to contain laughter): If I understood them right, 'Matt was one of the savages at the Faire. (pauses to bite back a snicker) Crys asked him to 'arrest' OZ as a favor. (turning to face Quatre eyes dancing with pure laughter) And the 'torture' will be them dressed in complete drag, having pictures taken. The pictures will be put on the internet, and some copies mailed direct to us. (Mina, Mae and Crystal, who had been calming down errupt in renewed hysteric laughter. The guys exchange some looks before Duo doubles over in laughter, WuFei smirls*, Trowa shakes his head, and Quatre half smiles)
Quatre: I almost feel sorry for them. (the three hyenas on the floor start calming again)
Crystal(wiping at tears and catching her breath): Don't.. their pride will be the only thing that will really be hurt.
Quatre(nods then looks at the three concerned): Are you three okay? (Crystal shrugs and nods, Mina also nods, but Mae just lies on the floor staring at the ceiling)
Trowa(kneeling by her): Chou, daijoubu? (Mae stares blankly, then blinks) Mae?
Crystal(leaning over Mae): Well she's not dead...(trails off and moves back as Mae suddenly sits up and scrambles down the hall) What the...? (a door slams shut) ...I think she might have a flu...
Wu Fei(glancing at Heero, who is leaving quietly): If she's this ill shouldn't she see a physician?
Duo(smiling devilishly): Why Wuffers, are you actually worried about someone other than your beloved Nataku? (Wu Fei smirks as Crystal tackles Duo and starts half beating him up)
Crystal(punching Duo in the shoulder): Shut up.
Shannon(shaking her head at Crystal and Duo's antics then turning to look at Wu Fei): Mae doesn't much like doctors or hospitals.
Mae(walking back out looking miserable): I hate you two. (glaring at Crystal and Shannon)
Crystal(punching Duo once more before getting up and blinking confused): What'd we do?
Mae(sitting on the couch head draped onto the back of the couch): You...(pointing at Crystal) ..with the damned French food, and you (pointing at Shannon) with that crap called mutton...(blanches in rememberance)
Shannon: Sorry I didn't think you would react. (as she's speaking Trowa sits on the couch next to Mae and gently pulls her to lean against him, and brushes at her hair)
Trowa: Are you sure you're okay? (Mae nods as Quatre re-enters from the kitchen with a cup)
Quatre(handing Mae the cup): Just sip this, it should help you feel better. (she follows his instructions then sets the cup on the coffee table, and leans back against Trowa)
Crystal: Well I'm gonna change and go chill out back.
Duo: I'll join you
Crystal(smirking): For which one? (starts down the hall, Duo follows smirking as well)
Mae: Do you two mind? I don't need those visuals while I'm already nauseous! (the two chuckle as they head down the hall. scene change ((insert rain disolve effect)) Tuesday; day ((utilizing authoric powers)) at the college...)
Professor: Now remember anyone caught cheating will automatically fail the test.
Duo: What if we aren't caught?
Pro.(rubbing forehead): Mr Maxwell I think you're one of the few students I will not miss. (smiles at Duo's mock hurt expression) Now begin. (in another room...((speed panning))...)
Instructor: Now I'm sure you are all dying to know how you did on the 'Rites of Passage' assignment, so I'll be handing you each a copy of your groups project with your grade and an explanation. I have to say some of these were very unique, but Mr. Carter you cannot fit 75 people into a Volks wagon Bug...my generation tried that already. (starts passing out the papers) For the rest of the class you may talk amongst yourselves or ask me about your grades.
Shannon(looking at her grade): 'A-'...not bad, it could have been worse.
Quatre(nodding): Yes, you might have worked with Carter. (scene change ((insert spiral disolve)) to the mall...)
Mae: So if you go up one level and head right you can't miss it. (smiles as the customer leaves, then sighs and rubs her forehead)
Trowa: Are you sure you don't want to take a longer break and eat somethign more than celery?
Mae(smiling half-heartedly): I'm sure, and I'm fine. It's probably a cold or something. (seeing his expression) I promise if I don't feel better by tomorrow I'll go see a doctor... (a woman rushes up holding a crying child)
Woman: Where's the nearest restroom?! (Mae gives Trowa a look then they give directions...scene change ((old SuperFriends effect)) Wednesday afternoon. everyone is sitting around the living room variously occupying themselves ((ie. Crystal and Duo are sprawled on the ground, Heero's on the computer...etc.)) but more or less doing nothing)
Duo: 79. 80. 81.82...
WuFei(scowling up from his book): Maxwell what are you doing?
Duo: 85. 86. Counting fan revolutions. 90. 91...
Mae: So I take it we agree this is boring?
Mina: Yeah so what do we do?
Crystal(slowly smirking): Hey Mae...
Shannon(rolling her eyes): Oh Allah they're plotting.
Mina(blinking incredulously): What did you say?
Shannon: ...I said 'they're plotting'...
Mina(shaking her head): Nononononono, before that you said "Oh Allah".
Shannon(blinking in surprise): I did?
Quatre(smiling): You did. May I ask why?
Shannon: I don't know, I didn't even realize I'd said it. It just came out...
Quatre: As if it were a reflex? (Shannon nods)
Crystal(walking out of the kitchen): Okay people pack it up.
Everyone((which means the girls, Duo and Quatre)): Why?
Crystal: Because I called in another favor, and we're going out. Before anyone asks it's casual, and we're taking the Tank. (glares at Heero. about twenty minutes later they're driving along in the Tank ((in the front seat are Crystal, Duo and Mina; middle seat: Shannon, Quatre, Heero, and in the back: Mae, Trowa and WuFei))...)
Duo: Are we...
Crystal(not looking at him): You finish that question and you won't be eating solid foods for a month.
Duo: ...Okay. (various snickers)
Shannon: Crys, where are we going?
Crystal(smirking): If I tell you that I'd have to kill you.
Shannon(sighing): Crystal, you are not a spy, and we are not your informants/prisoners. (random chuckling, a few minutes later Crystal frowns thoughtfully)
Crystal: Hey Shannon is it me or is Mae being too quiet?
Trowa(from the back): She's asleep.
Shannon(turning to see): ...She is.
Mina: Is it me or is she acting stranger than usual?
WuFei: She should see a physician.
Crystal looking at the rear-view mirror): You wanna try taking her? Cause I gaurantee it'll be hellish.
WuFei: Perhaps I will.
Shannon & Crystal: Good luck!
Trowa: Yesterday she said if she weren't feeling better she would see a doctor. (a few nods. several minutes later they pull up in front of what looks like a 'hole-in-the-wall' restaurant.)
Mina(as everyone starts getting out): We're having dinner at a dive?
Crystal: Just wait... (after Trowa wakes Mae, they enter to find a Karaoke & Sushi Bar ((comlpete with private rooms))..)
Mae: Crys? I love you but I hate you. I'll be waiting in the car. (turns to head back to the car.)
Trowa(stopping her): Chou...
Mae(half-whining): But I hate karaoke...
Trowa(hugging her lightly): Then don't sing.
Crystal: Oh no, I have this all planned out. Everyone is singing and in a specific order.
Shannon: And now would be the time to run away screaming.
Crystal: Bite Mina.
Mina: Leave me out of this!
Crystal(pulling out a small box): Anyway I've written everyone's name on pieces of paper and put them in the box. We're each gonna draw a name then choose and sing a song that we think describes or symbolizes that person. (blank stares and confused blinking from the others... rolling her eyes) To make it even easier we'll sing in order that we draw and I'll draw first...(over-dramatically shuffles the papers in the box then draws one) ...The first song is about...
Author's Note: ::bowing profusely:: I'm sooooooooooo sorry it took so long but if you read my profile you'd see it wasn't really my fault. Anyway next chapter will have some deep inuendos...I wonder if anyone will catch them?
Beytra: Probably not, you're vaguer than a fog covered high desert.
Mae: True...well later my loyal and forgiving fans...
