By: Amisha N. Smith
Part 2
Well, What d'ya think so far? Poor Vegeta, he has no idea what he's about to get himself into. And now he's going to have to put up with a guest appearance by one of the most annoying characters in the history of cartoons (also one of my favorites). Heh, heh, who, you ask? Well, if you had read the epilogue in part 1 you might already know who. But if you didn't. too bad! I'm not gonna spoil it for ya! Now, on with.
Vegeta Goes to Daddy Camp
Part 2
Bulma sighed as she chopped up some lettuce for her salad. She had been alone at home for nearly twelve hours now, and already she missed Vegeta. She reached over for the salad dressing, thinking about how lonely she's gonna feel for the next six months. Bulma stared thoughtfully into space as she poured the dressing. For weeks on end she will have no one to fight with, no one to share her bed with, no one to make love to.... Suddenly she looked down and realized she was pouring ketchup on her lettuce. "Dammit", she said as she went to feed the ruined salad to the garbage disposal. It was only yesterday that she took Vegeta to the airport, and already she was acting like a teenage girl who's boyfriend had been drafted into war. Boy, she thought to herself. Nothing like being separated from your mate for a few hours to make you feel horny. Bulma smiled to herself at that thought. She wondered if Vegeta was thinking about her the same way she was thinking about him.
Vegeta yawned and stretched his legs as he left the plane and descended the steps that led to the ground outside. He looked back and smiled as he saw the plane's other passengers watching him closely. They were almost too scared to leave the plane. Yesterday, they had witnessed on the plane a sample of Vegeta's fury after a clumsy attendant tripped over her feet and spilled hot coffee on Vegeta's lap. That was almost the last mistake she ever made, as Vegeta's reaction to her was less than pleasant to watch. As Vegeta walked towards the airport to pick up his luggage at the baggage claim, he calmly observed as an ambulance sped by on the runway. They must be going to pick up that clumsy flight attendant, thought Vegeta. Oh well, she's lucky she's not being picked up by a mortician. That's what she gets for crossing a Saiyan. Suddenly Vegeta heard someone calling: "Hey, mister! Hey, wait up!" Vegeta turned to see a tall, thin man with a moustache, brown hair, ugly glasses, and a huge, dorky grin on his face. He was running towards Vegeta as fast as he could go. Vegeta waited impatiently until the man had caught up to him. "Well," Vegeta growled as the man tried to catch his breath, "what do you want?"
"Hey-diddly-dee!", the man said in a sickeningly cheerful voice. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Ned Flanders! My friends call me Ned!" "Oh, really?", snarled Vegeta.
"Well, 'Flanders', do you mind answering me one question?" "Go ahead, shoot!", replied Flanders, cheerfully. "Why the hell should I care who you are?", snapped Vegeta. "Well," said Flanders, "I thought since we were going to be camp-neighbors I'd introduce myself."
"Camp-neighbors?", Vegeta snarled, bewildered.
"Yep-a-roonie!", chimed Flanders. "You are going to Daddy Camp, aren't you?" Vegeta grabbed Flanders by his collar. "How did you know where I was going?", he growled. "Well, I kinda got a clue from the way you handled that mischievous boy that was sitting behind you on the plane", replied Flanders. "It was obvious that you needed a few pointers on how to handle children, and I figured that's why you were probably going to Daddy Camp." Vegeta released Flanders and looked at him annoyed for a moment. He then turned his back on Flanders.
"Don't get in my way", Vegeta snarled savagely. That said, Vegeta walked away from Flanders and headed to the airport and towards the baggage claim area. When his luggage came through on the conveyer belt he picked it up. He then turned around to leave and was startled to find himself standing nose-to-nose with Flanders. Vegeta jumped back. "What the hell do you want!?", Vegeta roared. "Hey-diddly-dee again, camp-neighbor!", chimed Flanders. "I thought it would be only neighborly to offer you a ride to Daddy Camp. I'd hate for you to pay for a cab when you don't have to." Vegeta was about to decline Flanders' offer by promptly kneeing him in his groin when he suddenly saw the police talking to one of the passengers that was on Vegeta's plane. The passenger turned and pointed a finger in Vegeta's direction. Uh oh, thought Vegeta. He knew Bulma would kill him if he wound up in jail in another state. "You know," Vegeta said to Flanders. "I think I'll accept your offer after all. Where's your car?"
"I have a rented one waiting for me in the parking lot", Flanders said cheerfully. Without another word, Vegeta grabbed Flanders by the wrist and ran for the front lot. Unbeknownst by Flanders, the police were in hot pursuit. Vegeta and Flanders made it to the lot ten minutes ahead of the police. "My, aren't we an eager beaver", said Flanders. "Just shut up and point to your car", said Vegeta. Flanders pointed to an ugly orange jeep. Vegeta grabbed him and ran over to the jeep. "Open the doors!" Vegeta snapped. "Okely dokely!", said Flanders happily. He opened his door, got in, and unlocked Vegeta's door. Vegeta hopped in.
"Drive, you fool!", he commanded. "Fasten your seat belt!", Flanders chimed as he started the ignition. By the time the police got to the parking lot, Flanders and Vegeta were gone.
Vegeta had about had it with Flanders. Ever since they got on the highway about an hour ago Flanders had been singing church songs to try to brighten up Vegeta's mood. Vegeta was just about ready to blast Flanders into the next dimension when Flanders suddenly stopped singing long enough to ask Vegeta to join in. Vegeta looked at Flanders as if he was a mouse and Vegeta was a tiger trying to decide whether it's worth his time to briefly erradicate a pesky rodent. "Ya know, Flanders," Vegeta said, "you don't really strike me as the type of person who needs to go to a place like 'Daddy Camp'. So why are you headed there?" A sad look entered Flanders' eyes. "It's almost too horrible to talk about", he said. "About a week ago I said a horrible word in front of my wife and children." "Is that all!?", Vegeta said. "So what'd you say, anyway?"
"No", said Flanders with tears in his eyes. "I said....I said the word....D-darn!" Flanders pulled the jeep over and started crying. "It was the worst thing I'd ever done or said in front of my family", he sobbed. "I don't deserve a place as good as Daddy Camp. I should be locked in prison." Vegeta looked over at the sobbing Flanders, a feeling of revoltion and fright welling up in his chest. Was this what Daddy Camp was going to try to turn him into? Suddenly Vegeta couldn't stand looking at Flanders any more. He got out of the jeep, grabbed his suitcase, and started walking down the road. Flanders rubbed his eyes, looked up, and saw Vegeta. "Hey, camp-neighbor!", Flanders called out. "Where ya going?" Suddenly Flanders saw Vegeta jump up and take off flying through the air! Flanders couldn't believe his eyes! Oh, my dearest lord!, he thought to himself. How on earth did he do that? He looked, amazed, at the place he saw Vegeta disappear into the sky. After a few minutes of staring into the sky he finally decided to get on the move. I guess I'll ask him how he did it when I meet up with him at Daddy Camp, he thought as he reached down to turn the key and re-start the engine. Instead of starting the jeep, though, he ended up staring wide-eyed at his key chain. For attached to it was a picture of a bearded figure hovering in the air, accompanied by two angels. It was a supposed picture of God; a present his children had bought him for his birthday. He looked up at the sky again, this time in even more shock than he was in before. Suddenly Flanders knew exactly who Vegeta was. Of course, thought Flanders incrediously. It all fit together. The super-human powers Vegeta exhibited while on the plane. The way he took off into the sky as if it was nothing. Suddenly he understood. Oh my lord, thought Flanders. I had God in my jeep all this time, and I only sung five church songs. Flanders hastily started the engine and sped away towards Daddy Camp. He just had to get there and make his transgressions up to his master.
The happiness Vegeta felt about finally ridding himself of Flanders was short lived, for it was only five minutes before he finally made it to Daddy Camp. What a dump, he thought to himself as he landed in the middle of the camp grounds and looked around. There were flies and mosquito's everywhere. The putrid smells coming from the bathroom stalls told Vegeta exactly what went on in them about ten minutes ago. Men were shuffling around on the grounds as if they were in prison. Vegeta took out the pamphlet he had of Daddy Camp and looked at the pictures of the beautiful, grassy sceneries and the smiling, happy people that it displayed. Hmph, Vegeta thought. This place defines the art of false advertisement. Suddenly he saw a large, burly man approaching. He wore dirty overalls and brown boots, had no hair, and stood about eight feet tall. He looked as if he wanted to fight. At least, that's what Vegeta was hoping. The Saiyan Prince stood tense and ready, prepared to make an example out of the overgrown oaf for all to see. The other men gathered around them, sensing a fight just as Vegeta did. The burly man stopped in front of Vegeta and looked down at him with a smirk.
"Well, well! Looks like we have a newcomer, boys!", He announced, rudely. "So what's your name, shorty?" "The name's Vegeta", The Saiyan Prince replied with a smirk of his own. "What's your name, baldy?" The burly man's face grew red with anger. "Watch it, punk", he replied.
"My name's Ox. You can call me sir." Ox leaned down and grinned evilly in Vegeta's face. "So, did the little woman pack any spending money for you to use on your trip?" Vegeta looked up at him. The grin on his face was twice as evil as Ox's. "Why yes, she did. Five hundred dollars." "Oh, is that so?", replied Ox. "Here, why don't you let me hold your wallet for you?" He reached down to grab Vegeta..
Ox woke up in his bed, hurting in places he never knew he had. A nurse was standing over him. "Hmm", she said to Ox. "Looks like you tried to rob the wrong person this time." Ox sat up, wincing at the sharp pain that rose in his body with each movement he made. He rubbed his head. "What happened", he asked weakly.
"Whoa", replied the nurse. "That new guy must have kicked your butt real good. Even your voice sounds like it hurts." She turned to leave the cabin. "I'm gonna go get you an ice pack. You stay put." After the nurse left, Ox sat up in his bed. "I can't believe," he said to himself, "I was beaten by that dwarf." He clenched his fist and growled, angrily. "I'm gonna get him for this."
Vegeta sat at a table near the cafeteria, feeling a little better than he felt a few hours ago. Although beating down that fool Ox was easier than easy, it was nice to finally be able to work out some of his aggression on somebody. Vegeta lazily stretched his legs. "Well, I guess it's time to pick a cabin to sleep in", he said to himself. He got up, picked up his suitcase, and started walking towards cabin number one. Suddenly Vegeta heard someone yelling: "Master! Master! Wait for me, Lord!" Vegeta turned around to see Ned Flanders, once again running fast in his direction. Vegeta rolled his eyes upward. I knew I should have killed him on the road where there were no witnesses, he thought to himself. Vegeta waited for Flanders to run up to him and say something cheerful and annoying. Instead, much to Vegeta's surprise, Flanders ran up to him, fell at his feet, and started worshiping him. "Oh, master", Flanders said. "I'm so glad to find you again." "What the hell are you doing?", Vegeta yelled at him. "Praising you, oh exalted one", Flanders said with adoration.
"I'm so honored to know the creator of the universe! Can I have your autograph?" "What the hell are you talking about? My name is Vegeta, you worthless pile of rat puke!", Vegeta yelled at him. "Oh, right!", said Flanders. "I get it! You're under cover!" Flanders smiled and winked at Vegeta. "Don't worry, your Alpha and Omega-ness", he whispered. "Your secret's safe with me." Vegeta looked down at Flanders, annoyed to a dangerous point. Then, without another word, he picked up his suitcase and started walking towards the cabin. "Wait!", Flanders yelled. He ran up to Vegeta and took his suitcase. "Let me carry that for you!", he said as he turned towards the cabin. "GIVE THAT BACK!!", Vegeta yelled as he reached to snatch his luggage back from Flanders. "Eh? What'd you say, lord?", said Flanders. He turned around with the suitcase in his hand, hitting Vegeta full in the face and knocking him down with it.
"THAT'S IT!! I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU!!", Vegeta yelled. He jumped to his feet, gathered a large amount of his power into the palm of his hand, and aimed it towards Flanders with an evil smirk. "See ya in the next dimension", he said in a dark voice. Suddenly Vegeta heard a voice call over a loudspeaker: "Will Vegeta please come to the main office building? I repeat: Will Vegeta please come to the main office building? I have a call on hold here for him from a 'Ms. Bulma'!" Vegeta's power slowly died down in his hand. As he turned to leave, he spoke to Flanders, saying "You were lucky today, you worm. But don't get in my way again. Or next time I will destroy you." Vegeta went towards the office building. Flanders watched him go. I didn't know God had a wife, he thought. He ran after Vegeta.
"Hi, dear", said Bulma over the phone. "How do you like it so far?" "I don't", Vegeta snarled. "This place reeks. Literally." "Oh, Vegeta", said Bulma. It can't be all that bad. Just give the place a chance. I'm sure you'll like it after a while." "Hmph", Vegeta retorted. "Don't bet on it." Vegeta was sorry he said that when he heard Bulma sigh over the phone. Before he could apologize, though, Bulma spoke up. "Oh, Trunks is here. He wants to speak to you." "Put the little whelp on, then", Vegeta said. "Hi, dad!", Trunks said over the phone. "How ya doing?" "Trunks", Vegeta snarled. "You'd better not be sucking your thumb while I'm gone! I mean it! I will not have a thumbsucker for a son!" Suddenly Flanders appeared beside Vegeta.
"Did you say 'son'!?", he asked excitedly. Before Vegeta could say anything Flanders snatched the phone out of his hand. "Hello?", Flanders said over the phone. "Jesus!? Is that you!?" "Gimme back the phone!", Vegeta yelled before knocking Flanders flat with a swift back-hand. He picked up the receiver and put it to his ear. "Dad? Dad! Are you there?", said Trunks' voice over the phone. "Yeah, I'm here", Vegeta growled back. "Sorry about the interruption. Some clown was pulling a prank. Listen, I've gotta go now. Remember what I said to you. And check on your mother every day. She's all alone in that house, now." "Okay, dad", said Trunks. "Have fun! See ya!" Vegeta hung up the phone and turned to leave. Somehow, he knew fun was the last thing he was going to have. Flanders picked himself up and followed.
"Wait for me, master!", he called.
It was seven o'clock in the evening when everyone in the camp was summoned to the cafeteria. Vegeta couldn't believe how many people actually had problems raising their brood. The place was almost crowded with men who couldn't quite cut it as dads. Suddenly, Vegeta saw Ox kicking Flanders into the cafeteria. Vegeta smiled. At least that overgrown fool is good for something, he thought to himself. The lights in the cafeteria grew dim as the owner of Daddy Camp, Mr. Rapparound, came out to speak to everyone. He waited till everyone was silent to begin.
"Welcome, one and all, to Daddy Camp", he said. I'm Mr. Rapparound. If you all read your pamphlets you must already know that I own Daddy Camp." He pointed to Ox, who was standing beside the double doors to the cafeteria. "That is Oxford, my assistant", said Rapparound.
"Feel free to ask for his help, anytime." So that's who he is, thought Vegeta. Ox looked in Vegeta's direction and Vegeta smirked at him. Ox growled under his breath. "Here at Daddy Camp," Rapparound continued, "we feel it only normal that some of you have problems raising your children. But that's okay, because raising children is a very complex job. No one is born knowing how to do it. But you can learn. That's why you're here." He held up a booklet in his hand. "This is a small booklet," Rapparound said, "that gives you a few pointers on the basics of fatherhood. I've laid a copy on all of the beds in each cabin. I want you to read a little of it before you go to sleep tonight." He turned to exit. "That's all for now", he said. "You may all go to your chosen cabins. Try to get a lot of sleep, tonight. Tomorrow, we're going to have a busy day. Good night, all. And good luck." Everyone shuffled out of the cafeteria. Vegeta was the first one to leave. This whole thing was becoming more stomach-turning to him by the minute.
"But boss", pleaded Ox as he faced his employer in the main office. "Don't 'but boss' me", Mr. Rapparound snapped at him. "I saw what you were doing to Flanders in the cafeteria. And I heard about how you tried to bully Mr. Vegeta. Luckily he was able to defend himself, so things didn't quite turn out the way you thought they would that time." Mr. Rapparound wagged his finger in Ox's face. "If I hear about you bullying any more of my customers, you're fired. Understand?" Ox lowered his head.
"Yessir", he rumbled. "Good", said Rapparound.
"You're dismissed." Ox left the office, steaming. It's time to put my plan into action, he thought to himself. I'm not taking any more orders from that jerk-off.
Vegeta was tired as he settled down to go to sleep. The day had been exhausting, and he hadn't even started on his booklet yet. Suddenly, just before he drifted off, Flanders poked his head up beside Vegeta's top bunk. With a savage snarl, Vegeta gabbed Flanders by his collar. "I thought I told you to leave me alone!", he growled. "Hey-diddly-dee, master!", Flanders said. "I usually say my prayers before I go to sleep. But I thought since you were here I'd simply walk up to you and ask you to watch over my family and friends while I was absent from them...." Flanders' requests were cut short by Vegeta slamming him across the head with his fist, causing him to fall to the floor unconscious. Vegeta then yawned and, for the second time, settled down to go to sleep. This time, however, he was uninterrupted as he drifted off into slumberland. Suddenly, as Vegeta slept peacefully, someone crept into the dark cabin. The unknown person quietly sneaked his way over towards Vegeta's bunk. A small, strange looking device was glowing in his hand..
