(A/N: My first FF7 fanfic, please be gentle. I gave a bit more back-story then really necessary but that's okay.

Disclaimer: Nah, they're all mine. I keep them in those big glass cages, I stole them from Hojo. If you think I'm serious about this maybe you should look into a lobotomy.)

He plunked down on the warm sand of the beach, the ground was practically shimmering with heat and the sand was fine and soft. He didn't notice it. There wasn't much he did notice. He let out an enormous sigh, blowing wisps of blond hair out of his eyes, eyes that were lidded heavily, their brilliant blue gaze lazy and devoid of the intensity they once held.

He wasn't nearly as imposing as he used to be- not to say he was any less dangerous, he just didn't wear his strength on his sleeve anymore. And yet, his dense, muscled form spoke of endless potential to anyone who looked twice, even spread out laxly on the beach he created a stir.

No one seemed to be able to settle near him, no one could be calm in close confines to his unnerving presence. Women walking passed would let their glances linger, perceiving the confined strength in his body- those who looked deeper saw the same confined strength in his mind. It was never his body, impressing though it was, that made him so intimidating. It was an air, a presence, a look, that haunted expression that conveyed suffering if you bothered to see it- or cold unfeeling if you didn't. He would never lose that, no matter what happed to him; he would always be outwardly down right frightening.

He was, of course, completely oblivious to his affect on those around him- he always had been. He didn't notice the girls staring at him for as long as he was in their view, he didn't notice the knowing, measuring glance of the older women... he didn't notice the fear behind the eyes of the men, or the barely veiled jealousy. Sometimes the people that knew him well wondered if he was living in a world all his own. He sure seemed to be, especially now.

He rested on his elbows in the soft and malleable sand, stretching out his legs in front of him. He was clothed in a loose white shirt; the material was silky and free, open down the chest to the gap beneath his ribcage. Baggy blue shorts sheathed his legs, ending just below the knee and giving way to his calves and his feet, which were habitually bare.

He ran a strangely oversized hand through his hair, unruly and sticking up in tufts all over his head- like it always did. He had no answer when he was asked how he did it; he merely shrugged and cocked his head to the side. He wasn't the sort of person who would spend any amount of time at all on his appearance- he dressed for practice, as his current garb best suited the heat of the locale- and the only answer he could have given any one was that his hair 'just sort of does that'.

As he watched wave after wave crashed against the shore, children and girls in hardly-existent bikinis leaping into the surf and running away at the last moment, shrieking in mock terror. To everything he was an indifferent observer- except that he wasn't really observing at all, his radiant, strange, all-possessing eyes were looking, yes, but they didn't see the beach.

What he saw no longer existed anywhere but in the memories he carried with him. It was a world and time that felt so distant to him now... and yet, it felt almost as if part of him were still there. He was sure part of him would always be there. As he watched happy people frolicking in the waves and picnicking and laughing in the bright afternoon sun, he saw a gloomy alley teeming with undesirable life, and disgusting amounts of death.

The street was filth-ridden, garbage and refuse and decay littered the pavement and wretches with no homes to go to lay full-bodied in the sickening mix. There was no sky, just a sickly grayness, and a smog-filled atmosphere much like an unnatural mist of sorts- the tops of the make-shift buildings were often lost to the semi-darkness that obscured this world.

He could feel the dirt in the air every time he breathed; it was thick and tasted foul, like smoke. He was running, the footfalls of his heavy boots echoed even with all the noise of the city. If you could call it a city. Neon signs advertising the one thing striving in this polluted gloom, the underworld, flashed and distracted his sensitive eyes- his enhanced vision was often plagued by the assault of what most hardly noticed. He needed to get through and the crowd that pushed in the opposite direction was getting tiring- he wasn't the only one affected.

Up ahead a young girl that looked entirely out of place was trying desperately to shield the basket in her arms from the people rushing passed her, her eyes were downcast and she didn't seem to recognize that something was going on at all. She wore a simple sheath dress of pink, the only trace of a cheery colour in sight, and a jacket over that a shade darker, her long brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail and hung at the sides of her face in braids.

Aeris. When he allowed himself to remember he saw everything in such stark contrast, he noticed things he hadn't at the time, it was more as though he was watching it all on some television screen in his mind than remembering it. The soft sounds of the beach had lulled him to sleep in the evenings, but during the day nothing could shut out the voice that had always seemed to light and small but held a certain power all its own. A quiet determination that no one he could think of had the strength to overcome, Aeris knew what was right and when she was on a path nothing and no one could set her off it or come in her way.

It was one of those things... that will of hers, coming out of a body that looked so deceptively fragile, that made her the one memory that haunted him out of all the horrific things he could be pouring over. He hadn't had an easy life- but for some reason she had made him trust her, and his trust wasn't something he gave out very easily.

A passing man intent on finding out what had caused the explosion that had so recently rocked Midgar to its core shoved passed the flower girl as if she weren't there, knocking her from her feet. He watched as her delicate form collided with the dirty pavement, scraping her bare limbs and coating her dress and cheek with muck- the basket slid across the street away from her, flowers spilling out and being ruined.

'I close my eyes, and there in the shadows I see your light
You come to me out of my dreams across the night'

He moved to walk away and then sighed, walking towards the girl and wondering why he cared after all this time trying to live like he had no soul- he was surprised it hadn't started to go to his head yet. Then again, considering his attitude of late, maybe it had. Maybe he was just getting better at pretending, at fooling everyone, including himself if he could pull it off. He lowered a gloved hand to the hapless flower girl, glowing eyes peering at her intently, waiting for a response.

Aeris lifted her head slightly, seeing the impossibly long fingers hovering near her, incased in worn-down leather that looked like it had long since seen its best days. She followed the fingers to a hand, smooth, wide, flat palm- the glove many times creased with long use. It was his sword hand and there were calluses on the flesh beneath the brown material to prove his profession, had anyone been in doubt. The glove continued halfway up his forearm, flaring over his wrist, probably for protection in sword fights.

Her eyes floated up to the bare part of his arm, sinewy and well-muscled, leading up to his massive shoulders and then to the stern expression on his face. His face was unexpected. Slender and well shaped high cheekbones that created deep hollows where cheeks should have been, sloping into a tight mouth with a slightly pouting lower lip. His face was almost... delicate looking, and yet not. There was something inescapably masculine about it, the sharp jaw and carved nose with a straight bridge and small, round tip.

That wasn't what caught her attention so much, it was a rarely handsome face, unique and definitely beautiful... but what she saw that filled her vision and her mind was the eyes. Piercing, chill, pale and so perfectly blue. Like swirling whirlpools that had no bottoms, they caught her gaze and held it so completely she was unsure if she was still conscious or if she had fallen asleep and was looking up at the sky. And that was just the ordinary part of them, under that there was the glow. Faint, but enough to give the tops of his cheekbones and his eyelids the tiniest pale blue tinge in the darkened streets.

She knew why there were glowing eyes, but she almost wondered if this wasn't part of his own nature because she couldn't possibly imagine him without this feature. It seemed inherent to him, something that belonged. She gradually realized she was staring at him and blushed slightly when she saw the impatience in his face.

He may have decided he wasn't really made of ice, but he really shouldn't be stopping to help someone up- Barret would just explode if he missed the train. Barret would probably explode regardless of what he did. The girl seemed to study him slowly, in pieces, but when her gaze met his her breath seemed to leave her body and she just stared.

Cloud squirmed under her emerald eyes, he couldn't withdraw his hand now and he didn't want to ask her what she was looking at... for some reason he would feel very cruel being rude to her. What was he thinking? He didn't even know her. A small hand grabbed his with surprising strength and he was startled out of his chiding of himself, he closed his fingers around hers in a vice like grip and shortly hauled her to her feet.

'You take my hand though you may be so many stars away
I know that our spirits and souls are one
We've circled the moon and we've touched the sun...'

Standing next to her, rather close actually... there was a long tense moment of awkwardness before he snapped his head in a sort of bow of recognition and moved to walk away. She was getting to him and he didn't like it, it didn't make any sense.

"Excuse me?" the voice was minuscule in the chaos surrounding it, but it seemed to wrap around him like a tentacle- he stopped in his tracks, grinding his jaw at his inability to leave her coldly. This wasn't fair, it had been so easy to toss aside the feelings of Jessie and Biggs and the others.... "Could you tell me what happened?"

Exactly the same thing that everyone else wanted to know! She wasn't so special, there was nothing about her that was exceptional; she was no more beautiful than a lot of other girls he'd known... well, maybe not a lot. At any rate, she was nobody he needed to care about; she was just a flower girl on the street. So why the hell did he care so much about being polite to her? Him! Polite! ...He used to be polite, before....

"Look," he glanced over his shoulder at her and then wanted to slap himself for the sudden look of wariness that passed her fine features. His tone alone had been enough for her to doubt the strange feeling of safety that came inexplicably from him. He turned around and took the step towards her again, standing fairly close so he could be sure she could hear him, he sighed as he found himself feeling the need to get her out of danger as well as the urgent press of time passing. "You'd better get out of here, it's not safe... do you have someplace to go?"

"I have a place, where I grow my flowers..." She cast a saddened glance at her ruined wares. He wondered why they were here, complete strangers, in Midgar of all places, talking so... so personally. In this city you never knew who you were dealing with, especially if you were young, female and attractive. She would probably end up dead- or worse with the trusting attitude she was showing him.

"You don't see many flowers around here... actually, you don't see any..." he commented. Mentally asking his mouth what the hell it was thinking. He chewed his lip, his hand fidgeting uneasily with his bandoleer.

"Oh..." her voice was like a sigh, as she bent to pick up her basket and found that there were still some blooms within it, untouched by the fall. She raised it and stood upright again, tipping the selection towards him; "Do you like them? They're only a gil."

See, mouth, brain, all you guys in there not paying attention? She's not special and she's not worth my time, she's just trying to make a sale!

"All right." His voice trembled. What the hell! Where is this going? Am I going to be soft now- what is this stuff?

"Oh thank-you!" She seemed incredibly happy considering the small amount and he wondered if she was really talking about the flowers. What else would she be talking about? With the beaming smile locked into his mind's eye he frowned tiredly,

"Now, could you please get out of here? It's not safe... I have to go. Get to wherever your home is- uh- girl." He rushed off before he could be called back again, behind him he heard a faint murmuring.

"My name is Aeris..."

From the very second he met her there was something about her that made him act... human. Act like himself, he knew now that he was whole, now that the adventure was over that the person she brought out in him really was him. At the time he was so confused, but looking back he could understand most of it- the part he didn't get was still why she brought out his true character when even his oldest friend and closest thing to a family he had left couldn't do that.

Tifa should have been able to rouse something in him; she should have brought out the person he was all those years ago when he first left to join SOLIDER. But for some reason... she just didn't. He was as cruel to her as he was to Barret and everyone else he just met. She should have been a connection but she was just a complication.

He felt a stab of guilt; Tifa may not have been the person to his younger self that he thought she was- but she was a very dear friend now. And not only that... she had fallen in love with someone who didn't really exist. Tifa would have loved Zack if she had had half the chance; he mused, staring out blankly at the sky. It wasn't long before Costa de Sol faded again and something far more beautiful- to his eyes- took its place.

His eyes fluttered open to a room full of light. Brilliant colours twirled about in his head before he pulled himself up a bit, groaning and hating the dizzy feeling he couldn't shake. He lay back down and stared up at the ceiling, a jagged white hole above him let light filter through the dusty air and caress his pale skin...

It was soothing and he almost felt himself drifting off to a natural doze, something he'd not done in so long he couldn't remember the last time. There was something about this place, the light and something else he couldn't define- something that felt safe. Sensing he was being interrupted from the apparent solitude of this place he opened his eyes reluctantly to find a familiar pair of emeralds hovering over him.

"You okay?" The same voice...

He jolted up a bit, instantly alert. Why was she here? Where was here? He became dimly aware of a dull ache through his entire body and a sensation of something soft and cool beneath him. He didn't feel motivated enough to rise.

"If it hurts..." She started, taking the silence to mean he was answering in the negative- or unable to answer. He blinked his unearthly, electric blue eyes until her concerned face came into focus- why was she concerned? He was just some guy who bought a flower.... He lifted a hand and rubbed his forehead, pushing aside the stray blonde locks that always ended up falling across it.

"I'm okay." He said softly, definitely, as if that were all there was to say. His gaze drifted from her face to the surroundings. The colours- they had been stain glass windows, there was a hole in the ceiling and the pure, natural looking light was warming his stiff limbs. The building was cavernous and beautiful, huge chandeliers and columns towered over their heads and the roof vaulted off into an artificial sky. Everything was white and open and full of light.... The girl that had seemed so out of place on the alleyway was perfectly at home here. "Where...?"

"This is the church in the sector five slums." She said matter-of-factly as she rose from her knees at his side.

He slowly sat up; looking up at her and trying to fathom what made her so cheerful considering she lived in the slums... even if she lived in one of the last remaining beautiful places in the slums.

The flower girl smiled gently as he shook his head to clear it; "You suddenly fell on top of me." She commented almost laughingly, "You really gave me quite a scare."

He processed this information and looked up at the hole in the ceiling again... he was starting to remember. "I came crashing down...?" He was talking more to himself than her.

"The roof and the flower bed must have broken your fall." She said airily, sounding seconds away from a giggle.

He rested his hands behind him and felt soft vegetation under his palms. He glanced down and groaned inwardly,

"Flower bed..." The multicoloured blooms were crashed under his weight, he pushed himself up quickly, nearly losing his focus and toppling over but managing to catch himself. "Is this yours?" He asked, turning around to look at the big garden.

The area where he had been lying stuck out like a sore thumb from the other perfectly manicured and obviously well tended flowers. He felt himself blushing and wished he could lop off his offending cheeks, instead he covered his face with his glove, pretending to arrange his hair. It didn't look very convincing, mostly because he had no idea how to go about 'arranging' his hair. "Uh, sorry about that." He muttered sheepishly.

"That's all right," she said, grinning, "they'll grow back in a week. The flowers here a very resilient because this is a sacred place... even when soldiers with swords as big as they are fall on them out of the sky. What happened to you, anyway?"

"Uh..." He grunted uncomfortably, not pleased with the turn of the conversation towards himself. He could see why she would want to know why he suddenly fell through her roof... but he couldn't see why she was being so polite about it. He had made a hole in the already run down church and he had ruined a large patch of the source of her livelihood. People just weren't nice to him- he was too scary to be nice to, but there she was smiling distantly like she knew something he didn't. "They say you can't grow grass or flowers in Midgar." He deflected, crossing his arms over his chest and tossing a careful glance her way.

She sighed, she seemed to be disappointed that he wouldn't tell her how he came to be there. She didn't seem to think it was odd to be completely open to some stranger who just damaged her home. Her eyes were so trusting, he wondered if she was always like this of if he was special. She was probably always like that.

"For some reason," She was saying wistfully, taking a knee and nursing her flowers, "the flowers have no trouble blooming here."

She stood up and cocked her head at him then cast her gaze around the room, hugging herself and shivering as she took in the airy room and the veritable field of blooms. Her eyes rested on him again and he felt strange shivers go up his spine, there was something odd in that look... he felt a foreboding tingle of premonition.

"I love it here." She whispered, staring at him intently.

'So here, we'll stay...'

"So we meet again," She said, breaking the spell in an entirely different tone, her face lighting up in a smile, "Or do you not remember me?" She giggled and bent to tend her flowers.

"Yeah, I remember, I bought a flower from you the other night. You fell..." His arms dropped to his sides and he felt very defenseless all of a sudden.

"I'm glad you remember me, but I didn't fall, I was pushed." She pretended to pout, grinning at him for a moment before turning back to the plants under her hands.

He felt himself grinning lopsidedly for the first time in ages, he felt his cruel sense of humour coming on, "You're the slum drunk, aren't you?" He pointed at her as if recognizing her for the first time.

"Oh!" She frowned, "You're so rude!" She crossed her slim arms over her pink dress and glared at him, then her expression softened, he wasn't sure if she saw he was joking or if she simply forgave the offense. "But you bought flowers from me so I'll forgive you. Say, do you have any materia?"

He quickly lost his lightening attitude and surveyed her carefully. So that was her motive... or maybe not, she didn't look too interested, it seemed more a conversational thing to say when there was nothing else to talk about. He weighed it, wondering vaguely if he should even care if she was going to try to hustle him- it's not like he would fall for anything she said, and it definitely wasn't like she could hurt him if they were to battle. He shrugged to himself, sensing again the strange aura that made him trust her.

"Yes, some." He said simply. "Nowadays you can find materia almost anywhere." He added.

"But mine is special," she started to laugh and glanced at him with sparkling eyes, "It's good for absolutely nothing."

He snorted at her naivete; "You probably just don't know how to use it." It was just a waste of power- why was he talking to her again?

"No, I do, really," She giggled, "It just doesn't do anything." There was long pause; he didn't really know what he was supposed to say to that. Eventually she continued, "I feel safe just having it with me- it was my mother's." She glanced upwards to the bright hole in her ceiling and clasped her hands to her chest. He eyed her, considering saying that sentimental value wouldn't save her from a monster in battle but then thinking better of it.

"Say," she went on unfazed, "I feel like talking. Do you... feel up to it? You did have a big fall..."

"We're talking now aren't we?" He observed, she looked a little crestfallen and he hastily continued, feeling like a jerk for having snapped at her, "And the fall's nothing- I can handle it." What the hell- how many times had he said that to himself now after knowing this girl for all of ten minutes? She was so... out of the ordinary, she was messing up his persona and his thoughts were cloudy....

"Well then, why don't we talk about something, I mean have a real conversation. We are here meeting again, aren't we? I think everything happens for a reason." She watched him, her hands resting in her lap.

He shrugged, trying to be as nonchalant as he usually was, "I don't mind." Shouldn't he be somewhere? He didn't know... Tifa might be worried, and Barret owed him a lot of gil. It didn't really matter, he wasn't in that much of a hurry- what harm could it do, anyway? This girl was... intriguing to say the least; her affect on him was something he had to explore. He guessed. At least that was why he told himself he wanted to talk to her- not just for the sake of talking to her.

"Wait here," she chirped happily, "I have to check my flowers." He looked at the greenery in question and wondered what she could possibly be checking. Weeds? The flowers she had growing were weeds... He shook his head and just watched her go about her business. "You know, now that I think about it we don't know each other's names do we?" She straightened up and walked over to him, reaching out her tiny hand, "I'm Aeris the flower girl, nice to officially meet you." She smiled tenderly.

If only he'd know at the time that that moment would shape his whole future. Not just his future, either, the future of the entire planet. Looking back at it he made a choice then that decided the lives of everyone on the planet, of everyone who hadn't been born yet.... If he had refused her hand and left on his own the way he had been considering since he stood up then things would be very different. Aeris... It was such a beautiful name.

He looked at her hand, offered to him so freely completely oblivious of what he might be, do, the impossibly enormous sword on his back that was telling of the power within in him that could easily crush a full grown man... much less a small woman like her. She was accepting of it all... if she even noticed it.

'For always, forever
Beyond here and on to eternity
For always, forever
For us there's no time and no space
No barrier love won't erase
Wherever you go I still know in my heart you will be... with me.'

"The name's Cloud," He said roughly, trying to convince himself he was still cold and arrogant... even though he never had been to begin with on the inside. "Me... I do a bit of everything."

She giggled and he felt a strange warmth fill him.

"Oh so you're a jack of all trades, are you?" Aeris' smile was enigmatic.

The only times he ever smiled, laughed, joked... did anything the slightest bit human, acted the slightest bit like he really was on the inside was when he was with her. He didn't know why she brought out the truth in him, or why she made him drop his cool act and laugh and play around.... He didn't know why she made him feel. She was beautiful, but so was Tifa. She was playful... Tifa could be too.

Aeris was always cheerful, she saw the best in everyone, she saw people for what they really were and she thought everyone deserved a second chance- or as many chances as it took for them to do the right thing. She would forgive you for anything; she cared about your feelings no matter who you were....

She gave him a chance to be himself because somehow he knew from the beginning that she wouldn't judge him or think he was weak or... she would like him for who he was. He didn't know if Tifa could- Tifa hadn't liked him before, when there was no duplicity, when he was himself. Tifa only liked him after, when he started acting more like Zack... little things, gestures, a tone of arrogance... the coldness was his own creation, but he thought he needed it to protect himself. He didn't want friends then; he needed to guard his shatter soul from feeling. But Aeris knocked down the guard... effortlessly. She wanted to meet him....

It was at this very beach that the defining moment for him took place. It wasn't as big or impressive as the things that happened later, it wasn't something that changed the fate of the world. Aeris would have prayed for Holy and Sephiroth would still have... everything would have been the same without it- but for him, it was his anchor and his base, from which he could jump into his quest for who he really was. Aeris knew, but he didn't yet.

Cloud lay on the beach; his boots, gloves, armour and sword in a messy pile beside him and his bandoleer hanging down his hips as he stretched out, relaxing for the first time in far too long. They were staying the night to rest and he couldn't help but want to spend as much time as he could outside in the cool breeze from the sea... in solitude, as always. He was thinking about nothing, or trying to, wanting to push the more serious thoughts of the task at hand aside while he could. But it lingered as always, none of them could push it out of their minds for long.

"Comfortable?" A familiar giggle sounded somewhere above him.

Cloud smiled, opening his eyes to see something much like what he saw when he first came to in the church, endless pools of emerald hovering over him. He sat up, leaning back on his elbows.

"Yeah, wanna join me?" He gestured to the sand beside him, feeling unusually cheerful all of a sudden.

Aeris cocked her head as if considering, then shrugged and flopped down next to him, closer than he thought she would. Cloud shifted a bit to the side so they were facing, strategically putting more space between them. Aeris grabbed his hand suddenly and his eyes jerked up to her face in surprise,

"Look, Cloud!" She pointed out to sea and he followed her finger to a huge bird of prey swooping down towards a small island off the shore. He watched until the bird was out of sight then turned to his companion.

'From this day on, I'm certain that I'll never be alone
I know what my heart must have always known
That love has a power that's all its own'

"What's a hawk doing here? They don't usually live near beaches- do they?"

He noticed uncomfortably that her hand was still clutching his loosely. He didn't want to pull away, but leaving his hand in hers was making him uneasy. He always tensed when she touched him; Aeris had noticed and had made it her mission to make him loosen up.

"I don't know...," she said softly, still looking out at the sky where the hawk had been. She sighed, "It was beautiful, though, wasn't it."

"Yeah." He swallowed; wondering when she would noticed her hand.

"Cloud, do you think the hawk's like us?" She turned to him and looked expectantly into his eyes.

He frowned in confusion.

Aeris tried to clarify, "I mean, it's a powerful creature... but it doesn't belong here and it probably has some sort of purpose here. We go all kinds of places, nice places and terrible places- but we don't really belong there, we're just trying to save the planet. We all have our strengths, but sometimes we can't use them because we're not suited to our surroundings... Am I making any sense?" She giggled.

"Yeah... yeah, you kinda are." Cloud let his gaze drift and then looked at her, "You're right, actually."

"I'm glad you understand, most people just think I'm weird."

"I'm pretty weird myself." he returned dryly.

Aeris laughed, "You are." She smiled, "I like you anyway... you're different."

He looked up at her and wondered why he felt so strange all of a sudden... "I don't know what I am anymore. How can you like me if I don't even know who I am? Aeris... I... I don't know. Everything's always so complicated with me, I just wish you'd never gotten mixed up in all this."

"I'm happy I did, I get a chance to help save the planet. And I met all these wonderful friends, Tifa and Red and Barret... and I met you." She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them, then seemed to change her mind and stretched her legs out again.

Cloud noticed for the first time that she wasn't wearing her jacket, it was on the top of the pile of his things. He'd never seen her without it before.

'For always, forever
Now we can fly
And for always and always
We will go on beyond goodbye'

"I'm not your friend?" He teased lightly, surprising himself again at the way she brought out the happiness he had known was in there somewhere.

"No..." she said very deliberately, not jokingly either.

Cloud started, shocked at the answer, "I'm not? What am I then?" He stared at her, waiting for her to start laughing, something to indicate that she was having him on.

"You're..." She shifted up onto her knees and crawled closer to him where he sat motionless, his mouth hanging slightly open, "...special."

"How?" He whispered, her face was so close to him he could have counted the tiny freckles that peppered her nose and cheekbones. He shook his head slightly, tufts of his hair tickled her forehead and she reached up to brush them aside.

"You're different... you make me feel something... I've never felt. I don't know if it's because you have so much confusion inside you- or if..." She trailed off her eyes trained on his, capturing his gaze and not letting him look away. "I'm a Cetra... the last of my kind, I shouldn't..."

"What?" He was breathless and he didn't know why.

"...Cloud..." She sighed, her gaze drooped and he didn't want to guess where she was looking, it couldn't be... she couldn't mean... Did he want her to? Oh damn yes, more than anything. He wanted.... She saw him for his true self- how could she... no one....

'For always, forever
Beyond here and on to eternity
For always, and ever
You'll be a part of me'

"What is it...?" He was grateful his hands were embedded in the sand holding him up, if they had been free they would be shaking. Aeris' hand squeezed his and trailed up his tense arm and across his shoulder, finally resting against his cheek, her fingertips floating over his skin as if they had always longed to.

"Cloud..." she repeated, raising her eyes to his again, the glow had seemed to brighten as his heart thundered in his chest, Mako laced blood pounding in his ears. "I... I thinkI'm falling in love with you. I think... I think I've already fallen...."

He clenched his teeth, it was impossible. It was impossible! She couldn't really- it couldn't happen! Why would anyone... he was barely keeping his hold on sanity, he didn't trust anyone, he was dangerous, he was practically bipolar, he....

Her lips covered his and his senses sank into an endless world of softness, sensation and tenderness. He sat up slowly as she pressed her mouth to his in slow arcs, his hand threading through her thick hair as he held her closely, his other arm sliding around her waist as he started to timidly return the kiss. He'd never kissed anyone before, neither had she. It was taken to mean too much... kisses meant just as much as love-making, sometimes more.

As he pulled away from her, her hair ribbon caught in his fingers and he pulled out the ponytail with it, long brown tresses fell about her shoulders as she caught the other end of the ribbon in her hand. He stared down at the connecting pink fabric... it was believed that all true lovers were connected by an invisible ribbon and unless you were connected your relationship was doomed to fail.() Aeris giggled uncertainly as the moment stretched on- wondering if she had done the right thing after all.

Cloud looked up at her very suddenly, his expression unfathomable. His eyes were definitely brighter than usual, she determined, the pale blue glow lit his face strangely... His mouth opened and then closed again, he smiled tightly and finally spoke, "I love you, too." Was all he could manage, Aeris could have fainted from relief as she threw her arms around his slender waist.

"Cloud... I don't know what's going to happen to us... I don't know..." She pressed her cheek against his chest, "But I know that someday we'll all be together again, we'll laugh about this adventure and we'll remember how it used to be... as long as we believe we can win. When it's all over- if you love me I can come back to you."

He twined his fingers through her hair, disturbed at her words, "What are you talking about Aeris? Where are you going?" He looked down at her; she couldn't be leaving him after finding a way to burrow through all his defenses into his heart.... Could she? She was the only one he knew him... really knew him.

"I'll have to do something soon, but I don't want you to be afraid." She lifted her head and peered into his eyes, seeing straight through into his soul. "Promise me you'll trust me- promise me you won't be afraid."

"I- I won't be afraid." He was puzzled, but it didn't really matter. Aeris nodded and lowered her lips onto his again. Cloud pulled her as closely to his body as possible, holding her- somehow he already knew this wouldn't last- she wouldn't be there for long.

And so she wasn't. But she had seemed to know... and she had said she would come back... if he loved her. He didn't know what that meant, if she meant her spirit would always be with him, or if she somehow thought that she would literally return. The memory of her death was the one thing his mind couldn't summon up and play before him... he couldn't relive that moment. A lighter, strange time instead was conjured in the mists of his imagination; a time that he never understood.

The Gold Saucer was ornate, fantastic and almost... unbelievable. The whole place was lit brightly with thousands of tiny multicoloured lights, and searchlights that danced across the night sky. The night she had charged into his room and carted him off for a 'date' was clear and cool; the air was crisp and chill but mild enough for walking. They had been together quietly under the noses of their companions for some time, Red XIII was the only one who knew because he was the only one they felt they could tell. This though, was their first official date and it made Cloud nervous for no real reason at all. He was confused that she would keep to the bargain they made when he agreed to be her bodyguard- especially considering the confessions of the beach of Costa de Sol.

But she did come and she seemed determined to have a first date that embarrassed her partner as much as a real first date would have. The play was... interesting. He couldn't deny that he had fun, but some of it was at her expense, which he felt a little guilty about regardless of her deserving it.

The gondola was where he felt that electricity on the air, the sensation of something important happening... nothing much did happen, they didn't even say much, but what was said... Cloud knew it had to have a deeper meaning if he thought about it. He had to figure out what she was trying to say to him- at the time it was almost nonsensical to him, but now... Aeris always understood him better than he understood himself.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" She sighed wistfully, staring out the window of the small wooden car at the endless expanse of night around them. Or, she couldn't have really been looking at the night, since the scenery of the Gold Saucer effectively blocked it out. Huge yellowish domes covered in neon signs and decorative lights and searchlights and roller coasters screaming passed and thrilling their passengers. Fireworks crackled loudly and momentarily outshone the stars themselves... Aeris head lowered from the view and she stared at the floor for a moment, her eyes distant, her thoughts far away. Cloud held the edge of the bench seat so tightly the wood started to splinter in his hand. He looked at the damage sheepishly and tossed his hand in his lap, hoping she wouldn't notice just how tense she was making him.

"You know, Cloud... at first it bothered me... how you looked so exactly alike; you and Zack, I mean. I guess you don't really look like him so much as you... you have something he had. You're two completely different people, but you have something the same and the way you walk, the way you gesture.... I think for a while I must have seen him again, in you." She shook her head, looking up and staring into his eyes, her expression was somber and she seemed upset with herself suddenly, "But you're different. You aren't him... you're not even like him, now that I know you. I guess I could thank him for drawing me to you, because once I saw past what he was and saw you- "

"Aeris... you don't have to talk about it. I know you don't just see him." Cloud watched her eyes for a reaction; she looked down again, not meeting his gaze.

"That isn't it... but he is what drew me to you and I'm thankful for that. I love you; I never loved Zack... I never loved anyone. You are different, things are different." She looked up at him and seemed to almost smile tenderly. More fireworks went off outside and the angles of her face were lit by the brilliant displays, flashing him pieces of her expressions in stark contrast. "Oh Cloud... I'm still searching for you..."

He couldn't think of anything to say. He wasn't sure what she meant... or if she was even being literal. There were a lot of questions about who he was, but he had always relied on her to know him, whoever he was and to be able to tell when he was acting out something that wasn't really part of him. How could she love him if she wasn't even sure who he was? How could she still be searching for him? What does that even mean anyway? He was silent; the questions hung on the air unanswered.

"I want to meet you." She said simply, folding her hands in her lap and staring across at him, tears building in her eyes.

"But I'm sitting right here...." He whispered, looking imploringly into her glistening eyes, he wanted to reach out to her... hold her... do something to show her he was already here and she could have him if she wanted.

"I know, I know..." she trailed off and glanced out the window again, "What I mean is..." she caught him in her gaze and he'd couldn't remember ever being looked at so intently. "I want to meet... you. I want all of you, unbroken, without all this mystery that none of us understand, without all the terrible things that I know must have happened to you- I can hear your soul's cries, Cloud! You're always in so much pain and that hurts me, too. I want you to be whole again, to be pure, to know why your memories are what they are, to know why nothing makes sense. I want you to have your life back- I want you to have back your will, I want you to be with everyone the way you are when we're alone together. I know that's who you really are- what's stopping you from letting that show? Cloud... you're scattered, you're only pieces of yourself, half the time you're someone I don't recognize. Cloud... I want to know... you

The fireworks outside the window reached their peak. Aeris was sobbing quietly. Cloud sat across from her completely stunned by what she had said. And stunned by the sad realization that she may never have this wish come true.

"I don't know... how to help you, Aeris. I don't know the truth... I know there's still a kid inside me that's really me- I know there's a man with no heart at all I show most of the world. I know there's a strange mix of both of them that just... comes out. I don't know how to fix myself, because I don't even know what's wrong." He slid to the floor in the middle of the car and pulled her down from her bench until she fell lightly into his lap, "I wish I could show you who I really am all the time, but I don't know who I am. Whoever Cloud Strife really is... he loves you."

"I know," she whispered, "And without even understanding why, I love him too."

She never did get to meet him. The chance was snatched away from them when Sephiroth drove his sword through her torso, coming down from above like a vengeful god. He shivered with the thought, but he refused to remember... the way his head had fallen onto her chest as she lay spread across his arms, he body a dead weight. She managed the last words she ever spoke with the tiniest trace of a smile on her face,

"I love you."

It made him want to scream. Maybe he did scream, he couldn't tell if it was only his soul making that cry of ultimate suffering, or if it issued from his lips as well. He had become as cold and distant as he had been before he met her; he didn't allow himself to enjoy anything... Even when it was all over, her words promising her return haunted him.

"I'll come back when it's all over."

She knew she was going to die... what did she mean when she said she'd come back? He spent every waking moment either pouring over his memories or thinking through every possible meaning she could have had. He was waiting... he didn't know if he was waiting to die himself or waiting for her to just walk up beside him one day and ask if he'd missed her. What if that happened? What would he do? He couldn't even imagine how it would feel... he shouldn't bother to waste the time trying to, it wasn't going to happen.

Cloud stood up on the beach, looking out at the sunset- he'd flitted away another day in the same memories. He walked slowly out into the surf, mostly abandoned by the other vacationers, his big hands hung loosely at his sides... useless. He jerked his head up as he heard the scream of a hawk... a hawk on the beach. He shook his head, he knew he didn't belong here- but he didn't know where he did belong.

"Aeris... I love you, more than I did before, even... Come back to me." His voice drifted, getting lost in the crash of the waves. The cool water washed over his feet as he walked farther and farther into the sea, not caring that he was getting wet. "I trust you." He ducked his head under the water, drenching the thin material of his shirt... every night was the same. Except this night, he didn't come up.

'And for always, forever
A thousand tomorrows may cross the sky
And for always and always
We will go on beyond goodbye'

He felt as though he were floating, blond hair swirling around his face and clothing hovering away from his frame. His Mako eyes lit the murky water; it would have been a greenish hue if not for the intense blue of the light source. He watched particles of dirt filtering through the water; they were like stars... Cloud's lungs burned in protest against the lengthy dive, he fought his body's instinct to claw to the surface. Stars... would she want this? Do you want me to come find you, Aeris?

She would want you to live. Don't you trust her? She told you she would come back.

At the last moment he thrust towards the light of the dying sun and none too soon broke the surface of the waves, coughing and sputtering.
He clenched his eyes shut tight, trying to shut out what he had almost done- not for the first time, either. He whispered fiercely to himself, "Damn it, Strife, get a grip!"

"Cloud?" A female voice called to him,

His head snapped around to face the source.

"Cloud!" She repeated, concerned to see him far from shore.

Tifa.

He sighed. "I'm coming!"

And I'm going to keep waiting... if I have to wait my whole life. I will meet her... some day. He started towards shore with long strokes of his powerful arms; I will find my Promised Land.

() Japanese symbolism (there's tons of this stuff in the game itself, especially between Cloud and Aeris).