The Merry Pranksters
Wherein Jeanne-Marie and Bobby decide to have some fun.
Telltale Quote: We're gonna make Scott into a fairy—Bobby Drake
From the Diary of Jeanne-Marie Beaubier, July 16
Dear Diary,
The Professor told me I should write things down, a record of my thoughts and actions every day. He said it would be good for me, to help me understand myself. Also, to help me practice my English. I know I can speak well, but not like the American students. Not even like my brother. But writing is easier, since I have time to think things through. Perhaps he's right, and it will help my vocabulary.
Jean-Paul brought this for me from the bookstore the day the Professor suggested it. This little book, with all its blank pages. Luckily for me, he waited until his caffeine high had worn off to bring it home to me. And he managed to get Pietro off of him, somehow.
Caffeine, Jean-Paul, and Pietro are three things that should never be spoken of in the same sentence, let alone exist in the same room. It was nice of him to spare me.
Today was… interesting. Roberto wanted to show me how to play soccer—he was very good at it at home in Brazil, he said. But the ball was out of air. I think the word is "deflated." He looked angry, but pretended it didn't matter, and we went for a walk instead.
I decided it would be a bad idea to tell him that the ball looked burnt on the bottom side. Like the electrical burns on the walls at Madame's. The sun was awfully bright today, and I wouldn't like to see Ray getting kicked into it, even if I would like to see 'Berto play his football. I think it must be like dancing or flying, for me, soccer for Roberto. Something that makes him feel free. I'd like to see him like that. Sometimes, he seems so dramatic. Like every little thing that happens in life is the end of the world. I would like to see him playing for no reason. Just because he loves to do it.
I found Ray and Bobby laughing later, after the walk with 'Berto. When I asked them what was so funny, they stopped laughing right away. Later, I found Bobby alone, and convinced him to tell me the truth, that the two of them had found the ball, and Ray had ruined it, just to upset Roberto.
I'm still not sure if I want to let Ray know how angry it made me. He is my friend, but sometimes he's so reckless with other people. Doesn't care how they're feeling, just tries to show off and have fun. It's upsetting. Bobby, on the other hand, could never be cruel. He is such a sweet boy, even if he plays some very wicked jokes. His jokes usually end up making people laugh, though, not making them sad. I'm thinking of asking him to teach me some, maybe to play on Scott, who is looking sadder and sadder as the time gets closer for my sweet Jeanne to leave him. Or my brother, who is always scowling unless he is causing some trouble with Pietro, or making jokes with Rogue. It makes him look so much older when he's so serious. I think a good practical joke would be good for both of those boys, and Bobby is probably the one to help me.
I guess I shouldn't say anything about the soccer ball, or it might get Bobby in trouble. I will keep quiet, but I'm going to get a new ball, and keep it in my room, just for Roberto. I'll ask Jean-Paul about it.
Kitty is here now. We are supposed to be going to the mall, so I will come back to this tomorrow.
Bobby Drake was feeling very lucky.
Of course, he usually felt lucky. And then something bad usually happened.
Which only went to show, he supposed, that he really wasn't very lucky at all.
But still, he was feeling lucky. He'd been positive that after he spilled the beans to Jeanne-Marie the night before, about Ray and the soccer ball, he'd have a very pissed off, very black, very on-fire Roberto DaCosta on his ass in no time. And then, immediately following, a very pissed off, very crackling, very ruthless Ray Crisp. The order only depended on who survived the epic battle they would engage in, sometime before trying to kill him.
With his luck, he figured he'd be getting the loser first, and the winner would come after him later. It would definitely be too much to ask that the loser would come second, and therefore, not at all. Definitely too much.
But now, he was feeling pretty good. Jeanne-Marie obviously hadn't said anything to either of them, and had proven herself a worthy confidante. Not to mention pretty damn good at extracting a guy's secrets.
Girls were so scary sometimes. The way batting their eyelashes honestly made him think he'd be willing to sell his left arm to buy them an ice cream cone, if they asked, was pretty freakish.
Not that he couldn't just figure out how to make one, probably. Ice cream. That's what he should be doing with all this ice. What more noble cause for ice was there than ice cream?
And why the hell would he think of selling his left arm for it? That was kinda random…
Maybe Amara was right. Sometimes, Bobby was just a little weird.
He sat on the front lawn, letting the sun try and warm him up. Two years ago, when his powers had started turning on, he remembered being cold all the time. Standing in the shower for hours, until the water heater gave out. Trying to hide it from his parents, thinking he was probably going to die from whatever it was that was wrong with him, and not wanting to scare them.
Heh. Yeah, he was a weird kid, alright.
Seemed funny now, after the last year at the Institute. A year where he'd learned to control his powers so well, he'd actually been promoted to a real member of the X-Men. He was now the youngest member, in fact, a year younger than Kitty, who he loved to watch—
Er. Who he thought of as a great influence.
Right.
Bobby blinked, as a patch of shade fell over him. Surprised, since it had been clear all day, he looked straight up to check for clouds.
And found Aurora, smiling down at him, suspended in mid air.
He grinned at her as she landed before him on the grass, light as a feather, and came to sit next to him. Silent, but smiling.
"What's up JM?" He asked, leaning over a bit so that his shoulder dug into her.
Of the full-fledged X-Men, Jeanne-Marie was always the coolest toward the New Mutants. Not that the others were mean, or anything, but JM treated them just like she treated the X-Men, and Bobby liked that. Kitty, Kurt, Scott, JP, everyone else seemed to treat them all like they were just kids, even though they were really only a year or two older, mostly. But JM was even dating one of them, one who was, he was proud to note, three months younger than Bobby himself. He liked that in her. That she didn't seem to care.
He didn't either. Not really. Sure, it was great to be an X-Man. But his friends were really Amara, Ray, Sam, 'Berto… and some of the kids who'd left, really. Hell, even Jamie, even if he was like an annoying little brother.
Bobby was an only child. A little brother was actually kind of welcome, really.
Even if he tended to turn into ten or twenty little brothers on accident, at times.
Jeanne-Marie leaned back against him, returning his gesture, and smiled over at him sweetly. "I want to learn how to play practical jokes."
Bobby raised an eyebrow, wondering if this was some kind of trap. "What for?"
"To cheer people up," she shrugged. "I don't like seeing these boys like this. They're always so dramatic."
This made him laugh. Ok, so maybe his laugh was a bit of a giggle. He preferred to think of it as a chortle, or a chuckle, however. Giggling was definitely not for X-Men. "Yeah, they are. But hell, JM, we're teenagers. What are teenagers without a little angst?"
She raised an eyebrow at him, her brother's patented Vulcan look. "I have enough angst."
Hell yes she did. But that was another story entirely… "Seriously, you wanna do this?"
She nodded, now looking up at him with those ridiculously blue eyes, through those gorgeous black eyelashes. "If nothing else, Bobby, we can have time to make better friends, non?"
Bobby swallowed hard.
Damn girls. Always talking him into things.
"I dunno, JM, I have a bad feeling about this…"
She put a hand on his shoulder, and leaned over him, around the corner. Watching her brother's door. "Oh, it will be funny! You worry too much."
"He's your brother, he won't kill you. I'm taking my life in my hands here."
Silly boy.
Well, in actuality, he may have had a point. Jean-Paul was notoriously grouchy. And he was even worse in the morning, before he'd had a chance to wake up properly. But he'd been in the shower, when they'd done it, so really, he should be nice and awake now…
But she could always fly Bobby away if he got too angry, after all.
She patted his shoulder gently, "Don't worry, Bobby, I'll save you."
He looked up at her, and grinned, "My hero."
She giggled, but stopped immediately when she saw Jean-Paul's doorknob turning.
"Oh! He must've found it!"
"Maybe we shouldn't have used snow, JM…"
But Jean-Paul was suddenly in the hallway, in full uniform… except for his feet, which were bare. He looked from side to side, eyes narrowed, a look of pure malice on his face. Tossing a snowball up and down in one hand.
Jeanne-Marie giggled at the look on his face. Oh, now that was funny.
Jean-Paul looked straight at them.
"Shit!" Bobby jumped up, and tried to pull her down the hall, but she was laughing far too hard to go along with it. She tripped over one of his feet, and ended up tangled on the floor with him.
"Drake!" She heard her brother roar around the corner.
Bobby was squirming, trying to disentangle one of his arms and one of his legs from hers, but finding the situation rather hopeless, as she couldn't stop laughing long enough to be helpful. "Come on! We gotta go, JM, get up!"
He managed to stand, but was immediately hit in the back of the head by a snowball flying at ridiculous speeds. Immediately following, he was tackled from behind, and ended up flat on his back.
With Northstar sitting on his chest, holding his arms down over his head, and grinning down at him evilly. The look she'd previously thought was malicious now seemed almost… amused. Very amused, in fact.
Not so much by the snow, most likely. Probably by what he was planning on doing to poor Bobby.
Jeanne-Marie tried to stand up and pull him off, but was still laughing too hard to be entirely effective.
"I found snow in my boots," Her brother hissed, totally ignoring her efforts to rescue their teammate from him. "Now where, oh where, would one find snow in July? Any ideas, Iceman?"
Bobby squirmed and kicked, but Jean-Paul clearly wasn't going anywhere. "I don't know, Northstar, ask your sister!" He squeaked.
Jeanne-Marie had made it to her brother by this time, and fell on him, grabbed at his arms and tried to pull him to the ground, laughing so hard it was starting to hurt. "Jean-Paul…," she breathed, "your face!"
But Jean-Paul was still not moving, and he still wore that evil grin. "Well, if you won't tell me, looks like I'll have to torture it out of you." And he took one hand, held Bobby down with the other still, and started jabbing his finger into Bobby's chest ruthlessly, just below his collar bone.
Bobby screamed and laughed at once, twisting madly now, face turning pink. "Ahhh!! Ok, ok, I give, I did it!"
Jeanne-Marie finally succeeded in pulling her brother off of the smaller boy then, and they fell backwards, leaving Bobby breathless and wide-eyed on the ground.
And Scott came around the corner.
The three of them, on the floor, panting and laughing, looked up at him.
"Morning, Slim," Bobby breathed, obviously fighting for air.
Scott just shook his head. "I don't want to know. See you guys at breakfast," and he politely stepped over Jean-Paul's legs and continued on his way down the hall.
"What the hell were you doing to me?!" Bobby was laughing again, leaning against the wall like he'd just run a marathon.
"Dot-dots," Jean-Paul, stood back up now, pointing a finger at him menacingly, "And there's more where that came from, if I find anymore snow anywhere."
But, Jeanne-Marie was happy to note, he was still breathless and grinning like a maniacal elf. Looking half his age, and happy.
And then, he turned to her. "You're to blame, are you not?"
She smiled sweetly.
He dove for her, next, but she was already halfway down the hall.
"Ok, that was just a warm up," Bobby was telling her, laying out his battle plan before her. "The old school surprise in someone's shoes. It also works with sock drawers, closets, medicine cabinets, and underwear."
"Underwear?"
He nodded, enthusiastically, "Oh hell yes. You thought JP's expression was good, imagine it if we'd somehow gotten snow into his shorts."
Now that, she had to admit, sounded like a very bad idea. She shook her head, "I'd rather not."
"Good point. Anyhow, that wasn't too bad. The look on his face was priceless, anyhow."
She laughed again, remembering it. Just what she was going for, even if he complained about cold feet for the rest of the morning. He hadn't even been angry, he just laughed and chased her around the house for about fifteen minutes, after torturing Bobby only minimally. And he'd been smiling.
And sweet Lord, it had been a laugh. She'd have to hang out with Iceman a little more often.
"But that's small time. I figured we'd better go easy on him, since he's liable to kill someone if he's in a bad mood. On someone like Scott, we can have a lot more fun. And survive. Did you bring the stuff?"
She nodded affirmative, and pulled the tube out of her pocket that he had requested she bring to this little meeting. The glitter from Amara's make-up case. Bobby had suggested that she just take it, but she'd asked the younger girl nicely instead. It was pretty, an iridescent sort of glitter meant to stick to your cheeks and shoulders when going out—definitely something only Amara would have around this house.
As she handed it over, Bobby's eyes began to glow. He was so cute when he got excited about these things. This had most definitely been a great idea. "But what are you going to do with it?"
"We're gonna make Scott into a fairy."
She didn't even want to imagine what Roberto, or her brother for that matter, would say if they saw her like this—with her legs wrapped around Bobby Drake's neck.
"Ok, ready JM?" Her partner in crime whispered.
"Mmhm," she breathed, in the interest of keeping the hallway as silent as it was. The Institute, she had to admit, was quite disturbingly still at night, considering the amount of bouncing, yelling, and exploding that went on around the place during the daylight hours. And with none of the lights on but the small nightlights in the halls, the big house felt very empty. It occurred to her that if not for Bobby's presence, she might've been a little uncomfortable with it.
Too much quiet was never a good thing, in her experience. Reminded her too much of being in solitary confinement at Madame's. Days without seeing another face, hearing another voice. Sometimes without food…
She shivered, a bit violently, as Bobby stood up straight and raised her up, as she was sitting on his shoulders.
"You ok?" He hissed from below.
She patted him on the head with her free hand once before using it to unscrew the glitter tube. She didn't want to get any in his hair. Bobby had assured her that if she did, it wouldn't be coming off any time soon. Which, he also assured her, was what made this so brilliant. "Oui. Don't worry, I will be fast."
Of course, she could've just levitated herself up to do this.
But for some reason, this had simply seemed like more fun. After all, Bobby was awfully cute, in that shoulders-too-big-for-his-lanky-body brown-puppy-dog-eyes way. And having a boyfriend didn't mean she was blind. What girl wouldn't want to get close to him? Berto was pretty good about that kind of thing usually...
At least, since their first fight, which happened to be about him flirting with Amara constantly, he had been. Which suited her just fine, because it meant that now they had an "understanding." Flirting is one thing, anything else is another. The former, acceptable. The latter a definitely punishable offense.
She wondered if this counted as the latter. Probably not, of course, but it was awfully… close.
Right. The plan.
She reached down and handed Bobby the glitter, and he passed her up a piece of paper with masking tape at both ends, running longwise across the top and bottom of the paper. Carefully, chewing on her bottom lip, she taped the paper so that it was curving outwards, and the top of it was taped to the underside of Scott's doorframe, and the bottom of it to the top inside of his door. It wasn't the most secure tape job, as she really didn't have room to get her fingers into the cracks to make certain, but Bobby had assured her it wouldn't take much.
She held out her hand for the glitter again and he passed it back up.
"Watch the hair," he half-whispered, half-squeaked at her.
She tried not to giggle too loudly as she cautiously emptied half of the contents of the tube of loose sparkles into the outward curve of the paper. This way, when Scott opened the door, the paper would open up over his head, and dump its contents all over him.
It was getting very hard not to giggle.
"What are you guys doing?"
That voice was not Bobby's!
Iceman jumped underneath her in alarm at the sound of the intruder, nearly sending the glitter flying, but she levitated at the last moment and saved both the tube and herself. Instead, he fell alone beneath her, slamming into the other boy who was standing there in his pajamas…
Who quickly turned to five other boys in their pajamas upon impact.
Who all chorused a very loud "Ow!" as they thudded to the ground loudly, tangled up in Bobby.
"Shhh," Jeanne-Marie hushed them, very near to a fit of giggles now. Every time she saw Jamie accidentally multiply himself, it sent her into hysterics. Mostly because it was usually in some sort of hopelessly awkward, adorable situation like this one. "Quiet, boys, you'll wake—,"
But it was too late. Bobby and the Jamies froze on the ground as she touched down, still clutching the glitter.
"Footsteps!" Bobby hissed, jumping to his feet. He grabbed two very confused, bleary eyed Jamies and hauled them up, then started working on another one who was somehow still entangled in his legs. "Get up, all of you, we gotta go!"
Jeanne-Marie, now giggling outright and attempting to stifle it, grabbed a sleepy Jamie as well and pulled him up to his feet. By the time she accomplished that, the frantic Iceman had pulled up the rest of them, and the footsteps were getting ominously near to the door, so the seven of them took off running. Between Aurora laughing, Bobby squeaking, and Jamie panting, they might as well have been a herd of elephants.
Their would-be pursuer never made it into the hallway, however, judging from the sound of things. A doorknob turning, paper ripping, and a very loud, "What the hell?!"
Bobby managed to quietly close his door, not so very far from Cyclops', before they started giggling aloud, filling Jamie in on the wonderful laugh he'd very nearly turned into a bad situation
From the Diary of Jeanne-Marie Beaubier, July 17
Dear Diary,
Scott looked beautiful today.
He came down for breakfast late, for the first time since I've been here, glaring around behind those red shades of his. And everyone immediately started laughing aloud. Amara shot me a clever look from the other side of the table, and I winked back to say thank you again. I never told her what it was I needed the glitter for.
And really, Scott does resemble some sort of fey creature, with his hair all sparkling like that.
Although it makes it a bit difficult to take him seriously when he's giving orders in the Danger Room. Particularly with Jean-Paul asking him how it feels to be the fairy, for once. By the end of the session this morning, everyone, including "fearless leader," was nearly in tears from laughing.
I'm sure he suspects Bobby, since he nearly lost his cool when Scott was commenting on how it sounded like there had been about ten people outside his door last night. I was just thankful that Jamie wasn't there—he definitely would have giggled. I managed to hide behind Rogue and Jean-Paul, and pretend I was adjusting my boot straps. Luckily. If I looked Bobby in the eye, we would've been caught for certain.
Jean-Paul was still in a good mood too. It's funny, Bobby said to me that he didn't expect the jokes to have the effect I said they would. At least not on my brother. It surprised me a little, because I think, after spending so much time with him these two days, that he is very smart about people. Maybe my brother is just very hard to know. I think he makes himself that way. Bobby usually reads everyone well though, and he cares about them a lot. He doesn't know how to get close, so he makes them laugh. And it works for him. It's very charming, and sweet, and I hope he never changes.
Children like that don't come from places like Madame's. Or from pasts like my brother's. I don't know if his family is perfect, but I think they must be close, to have raised him to be the way he is.
Sometimes, I wonder if we would have been that way, me and Jean-Paul, if our parents had lived. Would I be so scared one minute, so bold the next, as they say I am? Would I be so confused? Would Jean-Paul be so angry and closed up? Would he be so confused?
It makes me sad. And it makes me want to be like Bobby Drake. I know he isn't perfect, but there is no such thing as perfect. He's genuine. And he's free. Jean-Paul says he's "insecure and hopeless," but I don't know. I think he's beautiful, and free. That's really all I think any of us ever need, as kids. And I don't know how to be free, not without becoming someone else. And I don't think my brother does either. Not really.
So I guess that's why I love Bobby.
Perhaps I should find the reason to love everyone here. That could keep me busy.
Time for bed. I'm tired from the work outs today, and from laughing. Nice to go to bed without being afraid though. Really nice.[1]
[1] AN: More random fun from the Xavier Institute. (Don't worry, they won't all be so happy. They're teens, they have angst, dammit!)
SilverCaladan—Oh yes. JTHM makes me happeeee. Or… well something anyhow, but it's GOOD. Wonder fluff ahoy!
Risty—Thank you, and very sweet of you to review! I figure a lot of places have skiing in July, but JP was being difficult. And I love the Himalayas. I figure you guys have everything in New Zealand, but that's just because I think of it as Middle Earth ;)
The Rogue Witch—Random as they get! Thanks for reading!
Akuma—Definitely dealing with JM as much as JP in this little thing. Got about 13 or so stories planned, half of which, at least, deal with JM, and if JP turns up, it's pretty much in a "supporting actor" role, like in this one. I adore her, and miss her *sniff*
Fata Morgana—Again, you're a dear to review so sincerely! As for the skiing at 13 thing, I'm quoting Marvel Fanfare 28 on that one. I can scan the page and send it to you, but it's pretty clear that he was a champ before his powers manifested. And it's non-specific about what kind of champ. Personally, I wasn't bothered, so I just assumed everyone else would clam up and take it like I did ;) And yeah, Raymonde as skiing instructor. Having JP join the team so young, there just isn't time for all the FLQ stuff. Had to choose my battles. But he needs to be there—someone had to help the poor kid out. As for my French spelling, hell if I know. I'll fix it immediately, thanks darling. Forgetting my international audience, Nordic is the generic term for pretty, blonde, blue eyed round these parts of America. Don't forget, I'm from Appalachia! If you feel offended, I'm sorry! But that's what we'd say round here. As for the powers, I mostly made it up, but definitely took my ideas from various sources. My idea of JP's power comes from this old comic, something like Marvel Encyclopedia or something, from the 80s. I forget what it is now, but my boyfriend's brother has it, and it's dead cool. It came in different issues, looked like he just bought one each month at the store. First issue was like Alpha-Blob, etc, etc. Also a few places round the web list it. Same for Quickie, though they're rarely as specific about Pietro's as they are about JP's. I definitely took liberties with Quicksilver, but yeah, that's pretty much the way I've heard it told. You're such a sweetie to review.
Ima- More on the way, and thanks for reading! Glad you're finding it enjoyable. I know it is for me, but hard to tell what's actually fit for public consumption. The encouragement means a lot to me.
And again, thanks to Sue for the beta! You = the big win.
